WTF Clerks 2!!!

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...damn, i just heard about this today. Was someone out there clamouring for this shit??

http://www.clerks2.com/

― exile on orchard st (sunny), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

roasrio dawson!!!

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

every college sophomore in america?

x-post

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:25 (nineteen years ago)

That's a loooooooooooooooooooooong xpost!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

that's what she said!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:30 (nineteen years ago)

Clerks III isn't casting yet, slock!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

Has "Randal" really had enough work/meals to goiter up that much? Such a cutie in the first one.

No retention of The Passion of the Clerks title, no credibility

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:03 (nineteen years ago)

... i thought Jay & Silent Bob was supposed to be the last movie in smith's shitty jersey-centric cinema universe? wasn't he supposed to move on to, uh, other things?

oh right, i forgot, kevin smith is a self-aggrandizing fanboy whore. duh.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:16 (nineteen years ago)

maybe it'll be funny.

i recently watched about three hours of Kevin Smith doing Q&As at various college campuses on the Sundance channel, and it was really entertaining, much funnier than any of his movies have been lately.

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:16 (nineteen years ago)

he's great at Q&A's! at the NYFF one for Dogma, he described how Damonaffleck would make out to kill the boredom.

Since it's a sequel to his only good one, maybe he'll be inspired.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:23 (nineteen years ago)

[tiniest font possible]I thought the trailer was kinda funny.[/font]

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:27 (nineteen years ago)

his comic book store sucks

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 19:56 (nineteen years ago)

... i thought Jay & Silent Bob was supposed to be the last movie in smith's shitty jersey-centric cinema universe? wasn't he supposed to move on to, uh, other things?

He was supposed to, but look what happened with Jersey Girl.

― The Mercury Krueger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 19:59 (nineteen years ago)

[tiniest font possible]I kinda liked Jersey Girl.[/font]

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 20:01 (nineteen years ago)

Out.

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 20:09 (nineteen years ago)

none of these criticisms outweigh the amazingness that is Rosario.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

Apparently he promised Jason Mewes that if he sobered up he would write another movie with Jay. Also, yeah, easy money.

I'm still quite keen. The Q Lazzarus bit made me chuckle.

― Gukbe (lokar), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 22:04 (nineteen years ago)

What, the first one didn't suck quite enough?

― Ally C (Ally C), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 22:11 (nineteen years ago)

one of the worst directors ever. his cult mystifies me.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 22:11 (nineteen years ago)

OK, I'm officially incredibly dense, but for the life of me I can't figure out just what x-post means. Anyone care to help (it's not in the FAQ)?

― Jouster (Jouster), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 22:43 (nineteen years ago)

Christ-post

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 22:44 (nineteen years ago)

it means "crosspost" - as in there are posts in-between your response and the post you're responding to.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 22:45 (nineteen years ago)

when the new picture pops up on the website i had a moment of confusion. "ricky gervais...?"

― GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 22:57 (nineteen years ago)

This looks less bad than most of his other post-Clerks movies.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 23:04 (nineteen years ago)

The longest wait in line I've ever had to endure was beind a guy ahead of me in a college town coffee shop, he and the girl behind the counter discussed how great and (without any reservations) every movie Kevin Smith has made. It either merely felt interminable or actually was a very long conversation as I seem to remember them getting around to the subject of how each dvd differs in their selection of supplemental material.

― theodore (herbert hebert), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 23:53 (nineteen years ago)

You should've done the McLuhan Annie Hall thing and produced Smith to say "What the fuck are you talking about? I can't direct traffic!"

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 4 May 2006 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

none of these criticisms outweigh the amazingness that is Rosario.

seconded.

i loved clerks at the time - lovedlovedloved it. the films that followed strictly obeyed the laws of diminishing returns - the last i saw was Jay & Silent Bob, and i absolutely hated it. and last time i watched clerks - it dragged. big time. i don't think i laughed once.

but rosario... that is good times...

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Thursday, 4 May 2006 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

work web filter:

Access to this web page is restricted at this time.

Reason:
The category "Tasteless" is filtered.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

URL:
http://www.clerks2.com/

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 4 May 2006 13:00 (nineteen years ago)

No one, not even Rosario, could keep this flaming shit-barge of a movie afloat.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Thursday, 4 May 2006 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

I cannot possibly be the only ILXor who doesn't particularly care for Rosario Dawson.

This looks absolutely terrible, btw. But it would.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

rosario dawson is attractive despite herself

― -+-+-+++- (ooo), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

As much as I hate Smith, I liked Clerks and this trailer doesn't make Clerks 2 seem half bad. I never thought I'd hear King Diamond in a movie trailer!

― josh in sf (stfu kthx), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

jay & silent bob was REALLY funny

― -+-+-+++- (ooo), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

rosario dawson is attractive despite herself

Very OTM.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

I cannot possibly be the only ILXor who doesn't particularly care for Rosario Dawson.

hi dere

the myspace pages for these doods are not-unpromising

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

Jason Biggs: You're doubling me, obviously. I play Bluntman, aka Silent Bill.
James Van Der Beek: Bob.
Jason Biggs: Right. And he's playing Chronic, aka Ray.
James Van Der Beek: Jay. Fuck, Biggs, did you even READ the script?
Jason Biggs: There's a script?
James Van Der Beek: Listen, Potzer!
Jason Biggs: There's a script for this movie?
James Van Der Beek: You wouldn't last a DAY on the Creek. A day.
Jason Biggs: Fuck you and your Dawson's Crap! Go to hell, Pacey! Go to hell!
James Van Der Beek: At least call me by the right fucking character!

― -+-+-+++- (ooo), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

Teen #1: Jay says you guys had a Star Wars themed wedding, and you tied the knot dressed as Storm Troopers.
Teen #2: Yeah, and he says you're the bitch and you're the butch.
Dante Hicks: I'm the BITCH?!
Randal Graves: Well, if we were gay, that's certainly the way I'd see it.
Dante Hicks: Will you shut up!
Teen #1: Holy shit, dude. The honeymoon's over.

― -+-+-+++- (ooo), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:22 (nineteen years ago)

you have to admit the clerks dudes are pretty funny even if randall looks like jeff daniels now

― -+-+-+++- (ooo), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:23 (nineteen years ago)

the trailer is kind of funny. plus king diamond.

― GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Thursday, 4 May 2006 19:35 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

i'm anticipating some reports back even though i'm not curious enough to go see it. at least not 1st. i can't imagine this coming off better than the strangers with candy movie.

― Rev. PappaWheelie (PappaWheelie 2), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 03:00 (eighteen years ago)

we had a free screening at work and it seems like the entire office hated it

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 04:15 (eighteen years ago)

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/weinstein_company/clerks_ii/rosario_dawson/clerksiiposter2.jpg http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/weinstein_company/clerks_ii/_group_photos/trevor_fehrman22.jpg http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/weinstein_company/clerks_ii/rosario_dawson/clerksiiposter.jpg

― kingfish cyclopean ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 04:57 (eighteen years ago)

i still love the first one, but this looks awful

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 05:11 (eighteen years ago)

Vill Voice review is grim, says KS's wife "should never act again."

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 12:39 (eighteen years ago)

7.7 our of 10 on imdb, but unfortunately there's no "guys who would even like a movie of kevin smith applying preparation h" filter.

― GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 13:38 (eighteen years ago)

I like the first poster; the second poster not so much; the third poster is pretty good too.

― Jimmy Mod: NOIZE BOARD GRIL COMPARISON ANALYST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 13:42 (eighteen years ago)

they kind of made Dawson ugly in 1 & 3. You don't need to photoshop teh hottness, marketing people.

― milo z (mlp), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 14:34 (eighteen years ago)

The third one is one of the worst photoshopping jobs I've ever seen, to boot.

The part in the commercial where he does Buffalo Bill is pretty funny. The rest of it, not so funny seeming.

― Allyzay will never stop making pancakes (allyzay), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 15:34 (eighteen years ago)

July 19, 2006 -- DON'T joke about women, donkeys and bestiality if you expect Joel Siegel to watch your movie. That's what director Kevin Smith found out when the pun-loving "Good Morning America" film critic stormed out of a press screening of Smith's "Clerks II," which opens Friday - an act that's sparked a vicious war of words between the two.
"Time to go!" roared Siegel to his fellow critics. "First movie I've walked out of in 30 [bleeping] years!" His tirade came 40 minutes into the long-awaited Weinstein Company sequel to Smith's 1994 cult classic about two foul-mouthed Long Island convenience store clerks who razz customers and goof off.
In the scene that sent Siegel to the exit, the characters graphically discuss hiring a woman to perform sexual favors on a donkey. Siegel told Page Six: "It was so foul and mean and repulsive. I finally realized I could not say anything positive . . . I wasn't ready for this kind of smut . . . I hope he doesn't make any more movies."
An apoplectic Smith fired back on his MySpace blog: "Getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. This is the guy who stole his mustachioed-critic shtick from Gene Shalit years ago, and still refuses to give it back. This is a guy who seemingly prides himself on his own nyuk-nyuk wordplay. For 'Pirates 2,' he made us all titter with 'Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Fun' . . . He made us squeal with delight when he wrote, 'Wheelie Good Time for "Cars." ' I mean, Fozzy [bleeping] Bear laughs at this guy."
And there's more: "I don't need Joel Siegel to [bleep] my [bleep] the way he apparently [bleeps] M. Night Shyamalan's, gushing over his flick ['The Lady in the Water'] before he's even seen it, but [bleep] man, man - how about a little common [bleeping] courtesy? You never, never disrupt a movie, simply because you don't like it. Cardinal rule of moviegoing: Shut your [bleeping] mouth while the movie's playing.

"I don't come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like, ' "Shark Tale" Is a Halibut Good Time' - so don't [bleep] with my stuff while it's still screening . . . What are you, a 12-year-old boy cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of 'Scary Movie' 4' while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching 'The Devil Wears Prada'? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya' rude-ass [bleep]."

Joel Siegel's outrage will probably be the only funny thing about this movie.

― GILLY'S BAGG'EAR VANCE OF COUPARI (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 16:13 (eighteen years ago)

Can't wait for the reality TV show they'll both host in ten years.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 16:19 (eighteen years ago)

"An apoplectic Smith fired back on his MySpace blog"

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 16:20 (eighteen years ago)

"I don't come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth"

eh? WTF? Kevin Smith can't even write a blog post, much less good dialogue or a decent movie.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 16:22 (eighteen years ago)

Donkey fellatio has just sold this movie to me!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 16:28 (eighteen years ago)

ok that was a pretty funny rant. kevin smith is way better as a dude with a blog than a filmmaker.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 16:35 (eighteen years ago)

I don't remember Rosario Dawson being so white.

― the doaple gonger (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 16:36 (eighteen years ago)

Thermo, I can direct you to cheaper movies for that.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 16:39 (eighteen years ago)

actually, i think he just posted the rant in his regular blog, and has the Myspace blogger set up to reprint the RSS feed.

So while I feel like my life will be a little bleaker now that I’ll never know what pun Joel would’ve dug deeply into his comedic well to produce for “Clerks II” (”‘Clerks II?’ More like ‘Jerks, Too’!”), I’ve gotta admit that I’m relieved somebody was finally offended by the flick - enough to head for the exit less than an hour in. I was beginning to think I was losing my touch.

I can’t fault Mr. Siegel for feeling “revolted” (his producer’s description of Joel’s reaction) by our flick; in truth, there is a donkey show in it, and I recognize that brand of whimsy might not be for everybody. Film appreciation is very subjective, and maybe Joel just isn’t into ass-to-mouth conversations.

― kingfish cyclopean ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 16:44 (eighteen years ago)

i cant wait to see this movie, good or bad!

― mts (theoreticalgirl), Thursday, 20 July 2006 03:23 (eighteen years ago)

about two foul-mouthed Long Island convenience store clerks

LI, Jersey, same thing...

― Rev. PappaWheelie (PappaWheelie 2), Thursday, 20 July 2006 03:27 (eighteen years ago)

Heh! I bet you could, Morbs!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 20 July 2006 17:03 (eighteen years ago)

AO Scott liked it, ergo my mind is changed.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 21 July 2006 20:20 (eighteen years ago)

leaving for the theater in 10 minutes.

― mts (theoreticalgirl), Friday, 21 July 2006 21:26 (eighteen years ago)

still waiting for the signature South Jersey movie ... we don't even have our own New Jersey Drive.

― zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Friday, 21 July 2006 21:43 (eighteen years ago)

But gabbneb, I hear Christgau hated it. WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 21 July 2006 21:51 (eighteen years ago)

I thought it was fantastic with the exception of "Mrs. Hicks." Very, very funny. I laughed out loud quite a bit, and I'm not one to do that.

― Harpal (harpal), Saturday, 22 July 2006 04:59 (eighteen years ago)

funny movie, for the most part.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 22 July 2006 05:28 (eighteen years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA...

Still laughing. Hehe. (rechuckle)

― Fluffy Bear, Perpetual 12-Year-Old (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Saturday, 22 July 2006 05:47 (eighteen years ago)

this was a lot better than i expected. the porch monkey scene is going to live in infamy. also, ver ver downashore.

― mts (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 22 July 2006 07:12 (eighteen years ago)

"It's OK... I'm takin' it back!!!"

I tried revisiting the original a few months ago and couldn't get through it. But some friends I'd not seen in a while invited me to the new one, so I went last night, with zero expectations.

There were a couple of Kevin Smith-isms that bugged me, namely:

a) that all of his characters' monologues tend to have the same written voice (not really very surprising)
&
b) that he'll think nothing of halting the action to cram in more dialogue.

That said, I laughed my ass off for most of the movie, and I'm thinking of going again.

― Tantrum (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 22 July 2006 13:19 (eighteen years ago)

i really laughed a lot at this flick, but my buddy dismissed it as "heterosexist garbage"

oh well. we also saw scanner darkly today and he liked that much better

― kingfish cyclopean ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 24 July 2006 03:43 (eighteen years ago)

"even ANNE FRANK could see that..." etc.

great, great movie. there were a few slow spots where i was thinking "okay i'm getting bored" but it all paid off eventually.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 24 July 2006 10:58 (eighteen years ago)

I was skeptical at first (some of the early Dante/Rosario scenes were kinda agonizing), but I had fun.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 24 July 2006 11:38 (eighteen years ago)

agreed, Jordan

also: points subtracted for the use of "1979" for ye olde Big Emotional Driving Around Sad scene. that song -- and i should make clear that i LOVE that song -- should never, ever appear in any movie again

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 24 July 2006 14:57 (eighteen years ago)

"Hey, you're not even supposed to BE HERE today!"

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 24 July 2006 14:59 (eighteen years ago)

there's going to be a downloadable commentary track available on viewaskew sometime this week. you can put it on your ipod, go back to the theater and have a go at it again.

also, i am totally going to this:

http://www.netflix.com/Roadshow?id=5342

― mts (theoreticalgirl), Monday, 24 July 2006 22:20 (eighteen years ago)

whoa the warriors Q&A august 2nd coney island

― Sir Dr. Rev. PappaWheelie Jr. II of The Third Kind (PappaWheelie 2), Monday, 24 July 2006 22:25 (eighteen years ago)

that song -- and i should make clear that i LOVE that song -- should never, ever appear in any movie again

also it should never be played anywhere again ever except your ipod. let it die.

― GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Monday, 24 July 2006 22:46 (eighteen years ago)

"heterosexist garbage"

whas that mean?

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 24 July 2006 22:53 (eighteen years ago)

it means he got a little offended by the constant gay jokes, i figure

― kingfish cyclopean ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 24 July 2006 23:03 (eighteen years ago)

thirteen years pass...

for some reason I found myself watching this again, I didn't think it was really any better or funnier than I did the first time, but I thought the film's central message of being in your 30s as someone whose personality was set in stone at 17 and watching your friends drift away was kinda poignant. like, the vibe of "we're still cool & funny, right?", not just within the movie but the whole enterprise. taking this quirky and unusual surprise hit movie and making it into a big budget motion picture with all this forced raunchiness and unnecessary celebrity cameos, just to cover for the fact that you can't really recapture the thing that made you popular in your 20s, not to mention that even if you did most of your audience has moved on. like the LOTR dork, that's the sort of character that Kevin Smith ought to know well, yet in the movie he seems less like a comic store nerd and more like someone who is actually mentally handicapped. It misses everything that's actually funny about those people. I don't know if the movie was some intentional commentary on that idea but I guess it kinda works in a meta sense. Doesn't change that the movie is basically garbage, but it does work in this one weird way. anyway there's my 2 cents that nobody asked for.

― frogbs, Thursday, 23 January 2020 17:40 (five years ago)

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