Dinner with coworkers

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

If your partner was having dinner with coworkers from out of town, would you go too? I can't decide if this is clingy or acceptable.

Does it make a difference that I work in the same organisation as your partner and that he is currently away 50% of the time on this same project (so dinners together are not too frequent at present).

I think I probably won't go because thinking about the whole thing is making me anxious and I don't feel like going anywhere but home.

― isadora (isadora), Thursday, 4 May 2006 02:58 (nineteen years ago)

I don't feel like going anywhere but home.

Then don't go. Easy.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 4 May 2006 03:02 (nineteen years ago)

i'm confused by the issue

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Thursday, 4 May 2006 03:02 (nineteen years ago)

Andrew OTM. Its no fun forcing yourself to a social occasion you're not up for :)

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 4 May 2006 03:11 (nineteen years ago)

HOlly mousterpiece!
dinners bring heavy bellies!

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Thursday, 4 May 2006 03:50 (nineteen years ago)

Thank you. I am not sure what the issue is either. My first instinct was not to go. This may be because it's not my project and though these are perfectly nice people they'll just want to talk about work and find it akward having a loose wheel OR because my first inclination is to never to attend anything social at all. This is something I am seeking to change about myself by accepting more invitations etc.

I can never decide if I am making rational decisions or finding excuses to indulge that depressive trait. I thought perhaps there might be some kind of social rule about whether one is expected to accompany partners to such occasions which might help me judge this.

The rule you propose, don't go to things you think you won't enjoy sounds very sensible, but it has been suggested to me that I should do some things I might not enjoy as a way to start being more comfortable in such situations.

I guess the final thing on my mind was 'how dare he arrange a dinner when this is one of our weeks together'which is a bit silly and is, actually, why I decided to go (that and the free food).

― isadora (isadora), Thursday, 4 May 2006 03:52 (nineteen years ago)

free food!

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Thursday, 4 May 2006 03:53 (nineteen years ago)

my first inclination is to never to attend anything social at all. This is something I am seeking to change about myself by accepting more invitations etc.

I can never decide if I am making rational decisions or finding excuses to indulge that depressive trait.

I know exactly what you mean isadora. I am the same, and as I'm sure Jim will heartily attest to, I'm notorious for never socialisng/piking on events for similar reasons. I too have had friends suggest I should get out more to get better at socialisng... I haven't felt it's helped me though. I used to be MORE social than I am now, however.

That said, I tend to staying home because I do so with my partner. If you want to go out because you *dont* get enough partner time, I can see the conundrum. :(

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 4 May 2006 03:59 (nineteen years ago)

So yes. The food was great although I probably ate too much. My partner and I had a nice time together (though the waitress dropped a glass of wine down his back) and the coworkers were not all sniffy "what on earth is she doing here?" but seemed to think my presence perfectly acceptable.

Now I will try to remember this next time I get all worked up about whether I should go somewhere, will I enjoy it, etc.

― isadora (isadora), Thursday, 4 May 2006 19:45 (nineteen years ago)

My job involves lots of 'corporate entertainment'. I think it's perfectly acceptable to bring a partner/friend along. Work-related conversation is usually only prevalent early in the evening and a new face or two serves to lighten things up for everyone. I reckon if you're up for it, you may as well go out and eat in as many nice restaurants and meet as many new people as you can!

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 4 May 2006 19:53 (nineteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.