Cricket Summer 2006

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England vs Sri Lanka 1st test @ Lords.
England win toss.
Just after tea 212-1.Trescothick 106 Not Out. Cook 46 Not Out. Strauss was out for 48.

Teams

England: Andrew Flintoff (captain), Marcus Trescothick, Andrew Strauss, Alistair Cook, Kevin Pietersen, Paul Collingwood, Geraint Jones, Monty Panesar, Liam Plunkett, Matthew Hoggard, Sajid Mahmood.

Sri Lanka: Jayawardene (capt), U Tharanga, J Mubarak, K Sangakkara (wkt), M , T Samaraweera, T Dilshan, C Kapugedera, F Maharoof, C Vaas, M Muralitharan, N Kulasekara.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

213-2. Tres out 106. Murali gets his 2nd wicket.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

Alistair Cook has made his fifty.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:24 (nineteen years ago)

Cook out for 89. Hoggard is nightwatchman.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 11 May 2006 15:58 (nineteen years ago)

Pietersen 101 not out. Great century. I just hope he can go on and double it now. Looks like a great pitch for batting. Im disappointed tres didn't go on to a double century. It really does look like a double century pitch.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 12 May 2006 10:33 (nineteen years ago)

My mate is doing the Guardian ball-by-ball this afternoon. She's dead nervous. Feel free to email reassuring words to her.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 12 May 2006 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

James is an odd name for a girl. Or is it a nom-de-plume?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 12 May 2006 12:18 (nineteen years ago)

She's doing the final session.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 12 May 2006 12:23 (nineteen years ago)

god, but boycott is annoying...

blowers has donuts though, it being national donut week.

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 12 May 2006 12:55 (nineteen years ago)

now he's talking about reymond's revue bar, oh dear. that sort of thing may be acceptable on talksport, but this is THE BBC YOU KNOW!!!

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 12 May 2006 12:58 (nineteen years ago)

Haha I heard Boycott talking about that when i was in my dads car today goming home from my grans. Not the kind of thing you expect to hear!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 12 May 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

What is it with England and dropped catches?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 13 May 2006 10:42 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka are 484 - 8. This could well be a draw.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

510-8 attea. Murali might fancy a victory.
8 dropped catches in 2nd innings.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

526-9. Murali is in. If he can hang around or make quick runs a large chase could be on.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

They're off for bad light.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

9 dropped catches now.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka all out for 141.
England 239-5. Pietersen 100 no.
Flintoff just came to the crease.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 12:51 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, fuck Rooney's foot, Vaughan's knee is where it's at

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

100 in front eh, I'd settle for another 150 on top of that.

― ledge (ledge), Friday, 26 May 2006 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

"Settling" for leads does not seem like a good idea with this England team

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 12:58 (nineteen years ago)

I rashly predict a 100 partnership for Pietersen and Freddie. Blame me when they're both out in the next over.

― ledge (ledge), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

Pietersen is on fire. So hopefully Freddie will just hang around and find his form then let rip when hes on about 40 or 50 and let Pietersen take them apart for now.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

I always feel KP is capable of a HUGE score. But with only freddie there of the recognised batsmen and murali bowling he might not get the chance. So lets hope they can stick around.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

I have to say what a joy it is watching KP bat today. I really hope him and freddie bat out for the rest of the day.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:40 (nineteen years ago)

I have to say what a joy it is watching KP bat today

What are you doing in front of a TV you workshy fop?

― ledge (ledge), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

The secret's out, Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy = Henry Blofeld

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:46 (nineteen years ago)

KP just got out one ball after he reverse sweeped Murali for SIX.
Damn! i really thought he was gonna get a double hundred.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

Freddies out. 290-7.
I doubt england have any tail ender capable of making a 50 run partnership like Sri Lanka did in 1st innings.
This game isnt over since murali gets to bowl in the last innings. The lead is only 149.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

Jones is out. 294-9. Murali has 6 wickets. KP tore him apart but Murali is now destroying England. Doesn't bode well for the 2nd innings.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

Should have put money on Sri Lanka to win this one

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

And get Geraint Jones out of the team NOW!

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

295 all out. what a collapse. 5 wickets for 5 runs.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka 2 for 1? What's happening, TV boy?

― ledge (ledge), Friday, 26 May 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

38-2. Monty just took a wicket.
Play might go on to 7.30 weather permitting(so what time do they go off for bad light? 6.15?)

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

Everyone's rooting for Monty aren't they? Apart from Ashley Giles of course.

― No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (Dada), Friday, 26 May 2006 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

43-3.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

60-4. Jones stumping off the bowling of Monty!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

Start of the 3rd delayed due to rain.

Yes, fuck Rooney's foot, Vaughan's knee is where it's at

-- No Ring Goes Like a Ringo Goes (dadaismu...), May 26th, 2006. (later)

well yes :-) there is a better chance of eng retaining the ashes down under than of a badly managed/led squad who are hoping that someone who plainly won't be fit in time to take part winning the world cup. I'm thinking from the bits and pieces I've seen of england so far during the 'summer' point to the fact that I don't think we could do it without a fit Vaughan, whom we'll need for his great leadership than his batting although i think he'd score well if he's fit and ready as he is a class act, as oposed to Flintoff, who might find it all a bit much. But I also consider Geraint Jones to be a class act, too, so you might not trust my judgment on Vaughan.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 27 May 2006 09:48 (nineteen years ago)

Jones is only in the team due to his batting and his average is very poor. So we must play a different wicketkeeper in OZ in my opinion.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 27 May 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

What's his average again? He was making the scores w/Flintoff last summer. The team has been unbalanced by injuries and the whole post-ashes hangover.

As for the match - looks like eng could be in danger if Sri lanka leave a target of about 170.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 27 May 2006 21:30 (nineteen years ago)

(I'll make excuses for Geraint all day me..)

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Saturday, 27 May 2006 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

I think they said on Sky Sports that his average is about 18.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 27 May 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

There was a bizarre moment earlier when, on 46, Dilshan clearly appeared to edge Monty Panesar to England wicket-keeper Geraint Jones.
The keeper took the catch, but appeared to be concentrating more on a possible stumping chance, and failed to appeal.

The appeal from the bowler and Marcus Trescothick at slip lacked the support that might have influenced umpire Aleem Dar, and he gave Dilshan not out.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Saturday, 27 May 2006 22:23 (nineteen years ago)

Caught a discussion over lunch on radio 4 with Alec Stwewart where he maintained, while ans a purely technical question from a caller (the qn ws not about Geraint, btw) that it was easier for a gd batsman to improve his wkt-keeping rather than the other way round. Basically, i think Jones will get his batting back on once the team gets more balanced and right now i don't see the logic in dropping him.

Don't mind me though - I'm (maybe irrationally) pro-Jones and cheered when he got to 100 catches in test cricket.

and, of course, eng 1-0 up. Murali managed to get 10 wkts in the game.

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Sunday, 28 May 2006 18:17 (nineteen years ago)

His wicketkeeping is not good enough and he will never improve that. He's had his chances in the team, he's only in because of his batting, his batting hasn't been good enough so its time for someone else.
I do not want to go to Australia not having the best wicketkeeper available. Jones is not the best wicketkeeper.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 28 May 2006 18:31 (nineteen years ago)

Do matches we've played in count? Just got back from a 40 overs match in Oxford. They got 196-9. I took 2-17, which I was rather pleased with considering I bowled four of the last eight overs. We were bowled out for 179. Having been around 50-5 a great fightback made it touch and go for 20-35th overs, but wickets started tumbling again late on. I was run out in the last over for 2. Do not try and run a tight one when you've just been hit on the knee cap. It's impossible. Inspired by KP's ludicrous shot last week, I tried the reverse sweep too. I missed.

Tea was particularly good today. Excellent sandwiches, three cups of tea, chocolate bar and a pint of squash. Fell asleep while our openers were batting.

The sun was shining too. I have the worst sunburn I've ever got in May. I Look like I've fallen asleep on a sunbed then been slapped in the face.

Cricket truly is the Sport of Kings.

― caek (caek), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

Sri Lanka won toss and elected to bat. They are 105-6 just now.
They were 80-1 earlier.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:16 (nineteen years ago)

Write up of the game I played in on Wednesday: http://www.cherwell.org/sport/anne_s_left_down_and_out

Disgracefully, no mention of me (I asked the guy to refer to me as "Housewive's Favourite"). Although this was mostly me: "St Anne’s bowling tightened up, causing Wadham’s push in the final 10 overs to be restricted to just 45 runs." The reference to "Marcelle Dawson" has caused no and of lols, and Dawson's name is actually Daniel. Those long winter nets will just fly by.

Test match is looking silly. Over by Saturday.

― caek (caek), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:37 (nineteen years ago)

129-7

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 141 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Theres no announcement yet so perhaps the umpires can be persuaded to come out. (or a replacement umpire).

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:46 (eighteen years ago)

Replacement umpires from the Sky commentary team? I nominate Ian Botham and David Lloyd...

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:48 (eighteen years ago)

I nominate Ian Botham

Ohhhhh, then The Oval would be torn down...

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:51 (eighteen years ago)

This isn't gonna be over til tomorrow I don't think. No doubt the umpires are going to be in discussions all evening.
But noone is gonna turn up to pay in in those circumstances.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:52 (eighteen years ago)

Exactly, EB! Let 'em fight!

I live 20 minutes' train journey from the Oval, might go along tomorrow for the looting. :-D

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:53 (eighteen years ago)

Technically, Pakistan have forfeited so you might not see much...

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:55 (eighteen years ago)

FOR THE LOOTING, Buttez!

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:56 (eighteen years ago)

What are you going to loot? Botham's stubble?

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 15:59 (eighteen years ago)

Darryl Hair's ammunition box.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:01 (eighteen years ago)

Well, anyway, it could be worse. If this happened in Australia, the crowd would have been chanting "Pakis are wankers" for over an hour by now.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:05 (eighteen years ago)

well, that's because you're all MISOGYNIST RACIALISTS, arn'cha?

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:09 (eighteen years ago)

Probably. You even get the racists at Adelaide Oval for heaven's sake.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

I think the teams will be out tomorrow. A decision is bound to have been reached by then. They have all night to sort it out.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:13 (eighteen years ago)

Is Adelaide a sort of San Fran-style liberal outpost or something?

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:14 (eighteen years ago)

Well, I like to think it is but the "fans" by the old grandstand let that theory down. However, Adelaide Oval is about a million time more civilised in cricket terms than the MCG...

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

(Melbourne is the liberal outpost of Oz but the MCG attracts the racist ferals like bees to honey.)

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:18 (eighteen years ago)

Why is there so much casual racism in Australia, though? I'm led to believe that even in these enlightened days the Aborigines are still referred to in the terms of an animalistic underclass.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:26 (eighteen years ago)

I wish I could say why...but I don't know casual racism is still so ingrained in Australia but I spend my time in guilty liberal circles. It's very much a working-class thing, especially when boozed. Which means trouble when you're at a Test match and these yobbos turn up.

By the way, it's lucky that I'm a bloody student with no lectures tomorrow or I wouldn't be able to impart my views on this interesting cricketing situation.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 20 August 2006 16:32 (eighteen years ago)

You also? I myself am in the same boat, although the reason I don't have lectures tomorrow is that I'm slap bang in the middle of a 3-month vacation. :-D ILM can relax, I'll stop bombarding them with my unreadable filth in a few weeks' time!

Casual racism is still a problem here, and not just in working-class circles, but their guilt is not mine to share. It's their problem, they should deal with it. It just seems to be so much more prominent and menacing in Australia.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Sunday, 20 August 2006 17:12 (eighteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/5268886.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/5269906.stm

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 21 August 2006 08:27 (eighteen years ago)

OK, so Pakistan were trying to make a point and Darrell Hair decided to act like the smug cunt he usually is.

Another great PR move by the ICC there...

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 21 August 2006 09:22 (eighteen years ago)

This morning..

East-End geezer to Asian shopkeeper..

E-EG: What about the cricket then, eh?
AS: Yeah..
E-EG: Incredible. What was that all about?
AS: I know.. Incredible.
E-EG: They reckon bookies were giving 50-1 for the win.
AS: Hm?
E-EG: 50-1 Saturday morning for them to win. Dunno if anyone would have taken it.
AS: 50-1. I don’t believe it. What’s that all about?
E-EG: Yeah..
AS: What’s that all about? What happened?
E-EG: They forfeited the game. Gave it to us. Ball-tampering they reckoned.
AS: No!
E-EG: Yes!
AS: No!
E-EG: Seriously!
AS: I don’t believe it. [..long pause..] Who was playing?

E-EG mumbles, buys seventeen (I kept count) lottery tickets, and leaves.

― Nicholas Passant (Nicholas Passant), Monday, 21 August 2006 09:30 (eighteen years ago)

ALL ASIANS LOVE CRICKET
ALL IRISHMEN ARE STUPID
ALL GAYS WEAR PINK

*ahem*

I've had a think about this, read the papers (in which Simon Barnes shits upon James Lawson from a great height, as usual), and I'm beginning to sympathise a little more with the umpires. Fair enough they acted in a highly dubious manner, but I think Pakistan were woefully petulant and unhelpful in their 'protest'. It should have been transmitted in a different, less destructive manner. That much is clear, the rest is all down to the slow sifting leak of fact and fiction.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:15 (eighteen years ago)

BLAME-O-METER

10% Pakistan
40% ICC
40% The Umpires
10% Tony Blairs and George Bush*

*Just because. Its probably an conspiracy.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:35 (eighteen years ago)

0.03% Chris Read

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:36 (eighteen years ago)

The umpires did everything "by the book" apparently. Much as you might expect your average humorless self-important obstinate jobsworth to do.

― ledge (ledge), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:37 (eighteen years ago)

if Pakistan were really outraged surely they should've walked off as soon as the penalty was handed out? Calling a press conference at the end of the day/appealling to the match referee to have the 5-run decision reversed could've been a better way to do it. 5-mins (or ws it 15 min) delay wasn't thought-through, surely someone knew that the match could've been called off and that this idiot might've gone through with it?!

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:46 (eighteen years ago)

OTM and fully agreed. Pakistan handled it rather pompously (as did Hair). The clash of egos was frankly too much for the game.

Perhaps we should let players hurl profanities at the umpire a la soccer. Might release some tension. ;-)

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:51 (eighteen years ago)

Blame could also be attributed to shonky ball manufactureres,Pietersen hitting the ball too hard, the weather, the fact that no liquids were allowed on the field of play and Geoffry Boycott*

*See Blairs and Bush reasoning above.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:53 (eighteen years ago)

It could have been liquid explosive, Pete. You can't take any risks nowadays.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:56 (eighteen years ago)

haha Pietersen taking pics while it was all unfolding er..classic?

― xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:56 (eighteen years ago)

KP's awesome. I love the way he just aches to be player, reporter, photographer, spectator and coach all in one. It's the kind of thing I'd do if I were an international cricketer. His is the sort of arrogance I respect: well-founded, cheeky, harmless arrogance.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 10:59 (eighteen years ago)

Be honest now. The kind of thing you'd do if you were an international cricket would be to act like Warney, ie: get fat and send lewd text messages.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 21 August 2006 11:55 (eighteen years ago)

Good grief, this was the lead story on R4 news this morning. And front page of the Independent. You'd have thought we'd all stopped blowing each other up for a bit. Perhaps we have.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 21 August 2006 11:55 (eighteen years ago)

Xpost: As a fellow leggie I'd like to defend the foremost practitioner of our great craft from such vulgar insinuations. You, sir, are a disgrace!

(you're probably right :-D)

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 11:56 (eighteen years ago)

It is cricket!

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:01 (eighteen years ago)

But not as we know it.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:02 (eighteen years ago)

I think Mossad are behind this

― dud'Hab'c'Deva To You (With ReGard) (Dada), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:09 (eighteen years ago)

DEAN JONES TO THREAD

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:11 (eighteen years ago)

DARREN LEHMANN TO THREAD

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:13 (eighteen years ago)

Is Darrell's Hair Jewish?

― dud'Hab'c'Deva To You (With ReGard) (Dada), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:13 (eighteen years ago)

Sorry, but Mr. Lehmann is currently in the...er, the pub.

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:14 (eighteen years ago)

ASHLEY GILES TO THREAD

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Monday, 21 August 2006 13:15 (eighteen years ago)

Oh dear...

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/08/22/pak_hitler.jpg

― Domenico Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 21 August 2006 22:18 (eighteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/5269904.stm

Bob Woolmer reckons the one-day series against England could be called off if Inzamam-ul-Haq is banned.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 21 August 2006 22:27 (eighteen years ago)

Ultimatum time. Good work Woolmer.

I hope in the future games between England and Pakistan are fought over the Ashes of burnt poorly made banners of umpire Hair.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 08:42 (eighteen years ago)

Umpire Hair was about two feet taller than Adolf Hitler last time I checked...

― Scourage (Haberdager), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 08:52 (eighteen years ago)

If it does turn out that grumpy Duncan had something to do with it I shall not be happy.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 12:32 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/22/world/europe/22cricket.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

"lolz"

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:36 (eighteen years ago)

WTF?!!!

Umpire Darrell Hair offered to quit in exchange for $500,000 (£266,000), the International Cricket Council has said.

The Australian, 53, made his offer in an e-mail to the game's governing body after Sunday's ball-tampering row which ended the fourth Test at The Oval.

ICC chief executive Malcolm Speed told a news conference in London that the umpire had been under great stress.

And he said he was satisfied Hair had not made the offer with any "dishonest, underhand or malicious intent".

Speed added: "He was seeking to find a solution that was in the interests of the game."

Hair and fellow umpire Billy Doctrove penalised the tourists five runs and allowed England to choose a replacement ball after deciding that Pakistan had tampered with the one which had suddenly started reverse-swinging after 56 overs.

When Pakistan initially refused to re-emerge after tea in protest, the two officials ruled that they had forfeited the game.

Speed urged the media not to question Hair's motives even though he himself was "extremely surprised by the content" of Hair's e-mail on Tuesday to Doug Cowie, the ICC umpires and referees manager, in which he made his offer.

The ICC's lawyers advised the organisation to disclose the contents of Hair's message to the Pakistan Cricket Board as they were relevant to the disciplinary case brought against captain Inzamam-ul-Haq.

Having informed the PCB, Speed then felt compelled to make the documents public in case they were leaked anyway.

Hair is hoping to continue officiating, saying in a statement: "This correspondence was composed after a very difficult time and was revoked by myself two days later after a period of serious consideration.

"There was no malicious intent behind this communication with the ICC.

"I am anxious that the code of conduct hearing takes place as soon as possible so these matters can be resolved and allow me to move on with my umpiring."

Pakistan complained about Hair's performances earlier in the series but the Australian has denied being biased against Asian countries.

He is not sacked, he is not suspended, and he has not been charged - I didn't guarantee those positions would be maintained indefinitely

Speed on Hair

He famously reported Sri Lanka spinner Muttiah Muralitharan for having a suspect bowling action in 1995.

Pakistan have already said they do not want him to umpire any of their games in the future.

And Speed refused to offer any assurances about his future in the game.

"Darrell Hair has been in a difficult position since Sunday and as a result of this disclosure that position has been made more difficult," the ICC chief executive said.

"I have said to him that he is not sacked, he is not suspended, and he has not been charged.

"I also said to him that I didn't guarantee that each of those three positions would be maintained indefinitely."

Former England captain Mike Atherton can see no way back for him.

"Darrell Hair, after these extraordinary letters, finds himself under no charge whatsoever," he said.

"It is hard to see how he can umpire at any future international match. They have made his position untenable now."

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Friday, 25 August 2006 15:45 (eighteen years ago)

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