C/D: Finding out that a former really bad, long-time, unfulfilled crush was crushing on you too when it's too late to do anything about it?

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Sigh. Just what I need right before I'm getting married.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:21 (nineteen years ago)

just shine the porpoise and clear your head and forget her

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:24 (nineteen years ago)

Getting married, in your case, apparently D.

― pleased to mitya (mitya), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:25 (nineteen years ago)

No, getting married definitely not D : )

Just need to thread about it a little.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:26 (nineteen years ago)

Would you have found out if you weren't getting married?

― Michael F Gill (Michael F Gill), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:26 (nineteen years ago)

IM SENDING YOUR FUTURE WIFE THIS THREAD

― chaki (chaki), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:26 (nineteen years ago)

Would you have found out if you weren't getting married?

Ironically no, though it wasn't like she called me when she found out and said "MARRY ME INSTEAD!"

I basically ran across an old friend online, who happens to be the former crush's current and longtime boyfriend, and mentioned that I was getting married. In his reply he mentioned in passing that his girlfriend (presumably before she was with him) used to "want to marry me" (probably an exaggeration, but nonetheless).

So there's really no situation to be defused here. She's happy with someone, I'm happy with someone, and I hadn't even thought about her for a long time. Just sort of a bummer when you realize that you could have had more fun in college and you weren't as much of an undesirable wretch as you thought you were.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:31 (nineteen years ago)

Still a wretch, just not undesirable ;)

And now neither!

― pleased to mitya (mitya), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:35 (nineteen years ago)

you get a lot of theoretical tail when you're in a relationship

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:37 (nineteen years ago)

True dat.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 00:39 (nineteen years ago)

Just sort of a bummer when you realize that you could have had more fun in college and you weren't as much of an undesirable wretch as you thought you were.

See, that's the beauty of it, though. It could have ended in disaster! Things that don't happen don't end in disaster.

(Okay I might be a pessimist here. But a similar thing happened to me and I still know this person and it really would have ended in disaster. He's crazy religious and I am just not.)

― Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 01:57 (nineteen years ago)

That's what you get for being a scaredy cat, basically.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 02:05 (nineteen years ago)

There's probably a correlation with this problem and people googling the science behind time travel.

― Cunga (Cunga), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 02:35 (nineteen years ago)

googlin' science

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 02:38 (nineteen years ago)

Which is coincidentally the Nu-Nu-New Wave Band opening up for Franz Ferdinand this summer, right?

― Cunga (Cunga), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 02:40 (nineteen years ago)

you get a lot of theoretical tail when you're in a relationship

-- gear (speed.to.roa...), May 23rd, 2006.

Ha ha, that's quite true.

― girlygirl (girlygirl), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 03:11 (nineteen years ago)

I say kclasssic because you know that in many parallel universes the two of you are getting it on right now.

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 03:46 (nineteen years ago)

No doubt that idea that probably inspired Don Bellisario to create Quantum Leap.

― Cunga (Cunga), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 05:02 (nineteen years ago)

There was a girl at work that I used to get on OK with, but when I got together with Dawn, she suddenly became 'more friendly'.

Basically, because as I had a new g/f, she knew I wasn't 'chasing' her so relaxed much more and we got along better.

that's 'theoretical tail', much like that hologram of a microscope. The one where you put your eye to it and see a spider. It's not actually there.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 06:48 (nineteen years ago)

This more or less sums up the plot of the song "Send In The Clowns" ("Why only now, when I know that you've drifted away?/What a surprise...what a cliche" etc.). I had several similar scenarios relating to when I was at school and people who I subsequently learned "wanted to marry me." But what could I do? - I was fifteen and therefore knew nothing, I was under pressure to study and Get To Oxbridge etc. But then again - no Oxford = no Laura, and my consolation now is that the 15-year-old who had a crush on me wouldn't necessarily be interested in the 42-year-old me who now exists.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 06:55 (nineteen years ago)

This kinda happened to me once. I used to have a crush on a girl on my Psychology at uni, but I never did anything about it, because I was convinced I was repulsive to the opposite sex, and she was far too cuet for me.

Then a few years after graduation she was visiting friends or something so was back in Reading and she saw me in a club and came over to say hi and we got talking and I told her I used to fancy her and she was like you should have said something etc.

I wasn't that bothered about it really, apart from, like Hurting, I could have had much more fun at university!

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 08:36 (nineteen years ago)

you get a lot of theoretical tail when you're in a relationship

Easiest way to pull women? Bloke with kids in a swimming pool. It's amazing how many women come up to you.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 09:37 (nineteen years ago)

best pulling tip ever

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 09:40 (nineteen years ago)

now all i needs is kids...

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 09:40 (nineteen years ago)

Not if you're fiddling with the kids at the time

― Samuel KB Amphong (Dada), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 09:41 (nineteen years ago)

Bloke with kids in a swimming pool

See my Claire Grogan story, on one of those celebspot threads.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 09:46 (nineteen years ago)

It didn't do much for Len Fairclough

― Samuel KB Amphong (Dada), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 09:54 (nineteen years ago)

Best pulling tip ever.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 09:59 (nineteen years ago)

Classic. I went through a similiar sort of mental romantic inventory/settling of accounts in the months leading up to our wedding. I'd guess this is fairly typical, though I certainly didn't ask my wife if she went through a similiar thought process ;-)

OTOH meeting someone who sets your heartstrings a-flutter AFTER you get married is a resounding dud. Happens all the time, though.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 10:18 (nineteen years ago)

It is part of life to have your heartstrings occasionally set a flutter. This will happen whether you are single or not.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 10:22 (nineteen years ago)

Mine's haven't fluttered in a while :(

― Samuel KB Amphong (Dada), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 10:24 (nineteen years ago)

... oh, what am I saying, they have :)

― Samuel KB Amphong (Dada), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 10:25 (nineteen years ago)

i had a heeeuuuge crush on this gigantic nerd in 7th grade. he moved away the next year, only to move back my last year of highschool. he revealed he had a huge crush on me back in the day. by that time he had turned out intensely disgusting and the crush had fizzled. we did have a snog, though.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 11:33 (nineteen years ago)

I can imagine this being dud most of the time, but if your happy as you are now then somehow it should make you feel quite chuffed?

i'll never experience this because i'm forever blurting out my feelings to all my 'secret' crushes. when pissed obv.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 11:46 (nineteen years ago)

This happens reasonably regularly to me. I must learn to try my luck a little more.

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

The irony is of course that if you were to have actually made a move on these crushees they would have said "maybe we should just be friends".

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 18:25 (nineteen years ago)

I tried the time travel and it turns out you're right

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 18:32 (nineteen years ago)

Is this just a result of getting older and more desperate? (less picky anyway?) "looking back on it, I shoulda ..."

Easiest way to pull women? Bloke with kids in a swimming pool. It's amazing how many women come up to you.
What if you just drop kids off at the pool?

― dave's good arm (facsimile) (dave225.3), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 18:41 (nineteen years ago)

but if your happy as you are now then somehow it should make you feel quite chuffed?

Oh I dunno. I'm in a stable, happy, loving relationship, but there's someone with whom a lot of chemistry exists leaving town for good and I can't help but feel a bit gutted, even though nothing would ever ever happen (also maybe a bit relieved, but gutted too). It's just having the possibility removed so finally from the equation, I think.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 22:02 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

The irony is of course that if you were to have actually made a move on these crushees they would have said "maybe we should just be friends".

-- DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, May 23, 2006 6:25 PM

otm

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 7 October 2007 01:46 (eighteen years ago)

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