Kleenex for Men

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These are marketed at men having a wank, right?

The extra size could never be explained by the difference in male/female noses, and on the back it says something about "cleaning up your spills".

Why else would a man need a bigger tissue?

― ZOT! (davidcorp), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

bigger noses

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:02 (nineteen years ago)

No, it is for cum deposits.

― The Notorious ESTEBAN BUTTEZ (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:03 (nineteen years ago)

wiping up OIL from the floor of the GARAGE

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:04 (nineteen years ago)

men cry more than women

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:05 (nineteen years ago)

"Big manly snot."

― Mark Corrigan (Archel), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:07 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, its not.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:08 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.kleenex.co.uk/kfm/images/popup/title_tocelebrate.gif
http://www.kleenex.co.uk/kfm/images/popup/tissue_box.jpg

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:10 (nineteen years ago)

don't think i've ever owned a box of tissues.

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:13 (nineteen years ago)

what do you do?

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:14 (nineteen years ago)

how do i wipe snot

― The Notorious ESTEBAN BUTTEZ (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:14 (nineteen years ago)

bog roll, sleeve, whatever.

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:15 (nineteen years ago)

that's not what I meant

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:16 (nineteen years ago)

how do i wipe cum

― The Notorious ESTEBAN BUTTEZ (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:17 (nineteen years ago)

oh, no

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:18 (nineteen years ago)

how i do wipe tears (after masturbation)

― The Notorious ESTEBAN BUTTEZ (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:23 (nineteen years ago)

Real men use toilet tissue instead of kleenex.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:24 (nineteen years ago)

you know it.

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:25 (nineteen years ago)

having boxed tissues seemed very glamorous to me when i was a kid. i remember being shocked that my friends families had them. i thought they just existed in adverts.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

Ugh, no. Toliet paper is far too rough on yer cock.

― The Notorious ESTEBAN BUTTEZ (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:30 (nineteen years ago)

Cracking one off whilst showering is the most environmentally friendly method.

― chap who would dare to be a nerd, not a geek (chap), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:32 (nineteen years ago)

exactly what jed_ said!! i think i still feel this way.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

i'm so gay i buy the ones laced with BALM.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:37 (nineteen years ago)

Nose BOMB.

Shower is ideal. The bath can cause problems.

― ZOT! (davidcorp), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:48 (nineteen years ago)

But fuck it, tissue is your friend. What's all this nonsense about towels though?

Fuck a towel.

― ZOT! (davidcorp), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:51 (nineteen years ago)

That's the thing. You can't.

― The Notorious ESTEBAN BUTTEZ (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

towels?

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

don't any of you own socks?

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

Wanking in the shower wastes water.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

I'm still back on "Kleenex... FOR MEN", actually.

― Dan (Smells Like RUGBY!) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

I don't know, Enrique. People always talking about towels and socks.

Wiping on a sock can give you a verruca. Or athlete's biff.

― ZOT! (davidcorp), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

Thanks, Dan. I just wonder if anyone else had ever questioned this...

― ZOT! (davidcorp), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

Wait this actually exists? I thought all the boxes I've seen online in joke posts were photoshops.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

Wiping on a sock can give you a verruca. Or athlete's biff
oh no!

allyzay, you never been to england?

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

I have, but I strangely enough avoided the tissue aisle it seemed.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

"athlete's biff" hahahahaha

― Dan (Funny In Theory, Anyway) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

you don't see them day-to-day in england.

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

"The only Kleenex suitable for a MAN'S needs!"

― Dan (O RLY?) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

I find the design quite unusual. Bauhaus, almost.

http://scottnicholson.com/travel/europe2003/kleenex.jpg

If Michael Douglas has a duvet, that's it's colour scheme...

― ZOT! (davidcorp), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

"Now STRONGER than ever!"

http://www.crystalhorizon.com/images/movie_stills/Lightning/Behind/fireHose.jpg

― Dan (LOLs) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

Anyway, I bought some of these yesterday. Obviously, I usually go out of my way to avoid KFM, but the only other tissues were two-for-one bundles, and I think that would have suggested an even greater wank-dependency to the girl on the till.

― ZOT! (davidcorp), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

or just domestic finance smarts.

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

That box is creepy, like it's supposed to blend into the seductive satin sheets and red neon bachelor pad decor that evidently no woman is even seeing anyway.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

i have chronic allergies and use a lot of tissues for their traditional purpose, and don't understand why someone would want a heavier tissue for that purpose, at least where frequent usage is involved. then again, my skin is more delicate than that of most men (and also i have small hands).

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:38 (nineteen years ago)

you sound like ichabod crane

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

you've met him?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

"than that of most men" - you are John Kerry and I claim my $5

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

it was originally suypposed to be most MEN, but it's not capitalized on the box

also, i'm fairly sure he has big hands

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

Please do not continue with stories of personal details of John Kerry.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

one time we were fishing and...

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

Me and Kez go way back.

― ZOT! (davidcorp), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

one time we were fishing and...

he jacked off while reading aloud from Profiles in Courage

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

I'm still grappling with the idea of gender-polarizing tissues, of all things.

― Safety First (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.uknet.net/showcase/BritishFood/yorkie.sized.jpg

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.creativemag.com/images2001/npgenmills.JPG

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.positivenation.co.uk/issue108/pics/tampons.jpg

― Safety First (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 15:16 (nineteen years ago)

Oh wait...

― Safety First (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 15:17 (nineteen years ago)

Has anyone thought about loading those things into a bullet belt?

― Crimea River (Mark C), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

see, if the filmmakers had put in that ten-minute JC on Ts sex scene with cumshot i recommended, Kleenex could have had a lucrative tie-in with The Da Vinci Code. or at least the sequel, Da Vinci Code 2: The Wipeoff

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 18:07 (nineteen years ago)

Flora: The Margarine for Men

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/colinohara/flora.jpg

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 18:21 (nineteen years ago)

wait a minute, is this kleenex where little bits of it don't stick to your penis???? brilliant

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

Only if you use it in conjunction with the margarine.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 21:00 (nineteen years ago)

"i can't believe little bits aren't sticking to my penis!"

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

omg the Fabio ads for that would be brilliant

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 21:02 (nineteen years ago)

You all may be even more amused then, when I tell you in Aus these are called Kleenex Man-Size tissues. I kid you not.

And I never twigged as to the reason. I just thought they called 'em that because they were er... bigger tissues.

I feel very Tuomas all of a sudden. :/

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 05:42 (nineteen years ago)

they *are* bigger tissues tho

kleenex for men = aloe vera obv

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 05:45 (nineteen years ago)

It's for wiping off blood after you rip another man's head off with your bare fists. Originally a Steven Seagal movie product tie-in.

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 06:01 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~rachelfm/sock.jpg

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 15:18 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

from Greenpeace:

In the distant future, the Earth is barren of all life forms; humans have survived only by leaving the wasted planet behind. This doomsday scenario is reality for Wall*E, the lovable, animated robot in this summer's blockbuster environmental movie from Disney/Pixar. If you've seen the movie Wall*E, you probably got the same thrill out of it as we did here at Greenpeace. Meanwhile, the movie's box office success is a clear indicator that its message resonates with Americans of all stripes.

That's why we were perplexed to see that Kimberly-Clark is featuring Wall*E on boxes of Kleenex. If you look on the bottom of these boxes, you'll see a little recycled symbol that says: "This box is made from 100% recycled paper." What you won't see on the bottom of that box is a message telling you that the tissues inside it are made from trees up to 180 years old that were cut from forests up to 10,000 years old. Nor will you read that Kimberly-Clark refuses to use any recycled material in Kleenex even though doing so would save huge areas of ancient forests.

A movie about conservation being used to sell a disposable paper product that contains absolutely no recycled content…? It's the height of irony.

So we decided to commission celebrated political cartoonist Mark Fiore to create an animated movie of our own. We call it Iron*E, because Wall*E + Kleenex = Iron*E. In the animation, Wall*E meets one of his precursors: a robot called Kleer*E who gobbles up forests and spits out boxes of Kleenex. Kleer*E helped create the world that Wall*E is left to clean up - a world where all the forests (and animals and people) are gone, a world where nothing is left but trash and empty boxes. Like Kleer*E, Kimberly-Clark is working to bring you that world, one box of Kleenex - and one forest - at a time.

We need to band together to get the truth out about Kimberly-Clark. Help save the world's ancient forests by viewing the Iron*E video and then telling your friends and family about it. There's an embed code with the video, too, so you can put it on your own website. The more people who are aware of Kimberly-Clark's destructive business practices and refuse to buy Kleenex and the company's other disposable products, the sooner it will change its ways.

Equally as important as watching and sharing the video, though, is that you join us in telling Kimberly-Clark to stop the Iron*E! Instead of putting money toward trying to present itself as green, the company needs to actually be green by improving its environmental practices. Specifically, Kimberly-Clark should stop clear-cutting ancient forests and start using recycled material in Kleenex and other consumer products.

If we stop Kimberly-Clark from destroying any more of the world's ancient forests, we will be able to avoid the dismal fate depicted in Wall*E. Untold future generations will surely thank us for giving them hope and a healthy planet to live on.

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 22 August 2008 13:54 (seventeen years ago)

still grossed out that people have an old cummy sock laying around. bet 85% name it. Socksha?

― Granny Dainger, Friday, 22 August 2008 14:11 (seventeen years ago)

Old GF of mine used to insist on reusing post-coitus wipedown rags. I thought it was kinda gross, but I went along with it.

― libcrypt, Friday, 22 August 2008 17:32 (seventeen years ago)

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