To the marketing "genius" behind Bertie Bott's Magic Beans...

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FUCK YOU IN THE EYE, ASSHOLE

― Dan (Gag Vomit) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 26 May 2006 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

You have to admit he's a genius for convincing a company to sell (and people to buy) a box of jelly beans that is 90% disgusting.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Friday, 26 May 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

JK Rowling?

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Friday, 26 May 2006 15:52 (nineteen years ago)

I'm specifically pissed at the person at Jelly Belly who leapt at the tie-in, mostly because there is no way to tell the difference between regular Jelly Belly jellybeans and the fucking awful Bertie Bott's stupid fucking nonsense, so when your evil coworker refills her jellybean dispenser with Bertie Bott's beans and you naively get one that looks like root beer but tastes like sardines...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

― Dan (No Lunch For Me) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 26 May 2006 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/candywarehouse_1895_52839146

mmm... earwax
although some of these don't sound too bad!

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Friday, 26 May 2006 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

Toasted Marshmallow and Buttered Popcorn are delicious, but they are specifically designed so that you can't tell, say, Buttered Popcorn from Rotten Egg. I once had a very traumatizing Spaghetti/Vomit mixup.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Friday, 26 May 2006 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

I want to fucking kill someone over this.

― Dan (Overreact? MOI?) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

bacon?
!

― carly (carly), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

I had no idea this candy really had those awful flavors. How bizarre.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

It's a Harry Potter thing, Sam.

Dan, you're forgetting that small children enjoy (a) surprises and (b) gross things.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

Oh I know it's Harry Potter! I just didn't think anyone would actually spend time and money making vomit-flavored candy. I don't think even kids would enjoy that.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

My coworkers apparently have forgotten that I like blunt trauma.

― Dan (Hostel II) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

i would buy a bag of bacon jelly beans. and a bag of lettuce ones. and a bag of tomato ones. and mayonnaise ones. and bread ones.
okay, what they really need to do is combine all those flavours in one bag. who's the marketing genius NOW?

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:24 (nineteen years ago)

The other day I told this 4 year old that jelly beans were monster eggs and they would hatch in his stomach. That totally sounds more appetizing than sardine beans.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:32 (nineteen years ago)

Blame not the manufacturers... blame your asshole coworker.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:39 (nineteen years ago)

Nickalicious, where the heck have you been, man!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

(I mean besides actually having a life, I presume. ;-) )

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

The other day I told this 4 year old that jelly beans were monster eggs and they would hatch in his stomach.

20 years from now, when another "Shots fired in the Capitol" thread pops up on ILX, and we find out the shooter was desperately trying to prevent the takeover of this country by monsters sprouting from the stomachs of unsuspecting jelly bean-loving congressmen, I'll remember this thread.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

haha hi dere Ned

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:45 (nineteen years ago)

Somewhere in Hogsmeade there's a store that sells adult things for wizards and they have pussy flavored beans.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

Dan's reaction is making this candy classic and essential.

― Bluebell Madonna (Ex Leon), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

Hi Nickalicious!

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

Vomit flavor? I love this because I now picture the candy factory employing bulemics to keep their supply ready.

― Keywords: revenge, knife, granddaughter, demonic-possession, rock-star, eel (Aus, Friday, 26 May 2006 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

hi Samalam!

Bacon beans sound good. I have a bacon-scented airfreshener.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:58 (nineteen years ago)

I want to be the guy at the jelly bean factory who judges whether the bean truly captures the taste of vomit.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

surely there are subtle variations in the taste of "vomit" depending on what was eaten before said vomiting, making the definition of "vomit" flavour somewhat challenging

and perhaps earwax has some potential flavour variation too

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

what does dirt taste like? plus i don't think booger really have any flavour whatsoever

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

I really like the grass ones.

― Paul Eater (eater), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

So does Cheech.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:38 (nineteen years ago)

I for one say earwax tastes like licking a battery.

(Or the tip of my pinkie finger did that one time when I was young and curious)

It may have changed with age.

― Rumpsy Pumpsy (Rumpie), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:43 (nineteen years ago)

That wasn't me I didn't say that

― Rumpsy Pumpsy (Rumpie), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:43 (nineteen years ago)

Somewhere in Hogsmeade there's a store that sells adult things for wizards and they have pussy flavored beans.
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), Today 12:47 PM. (later)
I for one say earwax tastes like licking a battery.

-- Rumpsy Pumpsy (rumpie7...), Today 1:43 PM. (later)

There you go Nickalicious. Just eat the "earwax" ones.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

Visions.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:46 (nineteen years ago)

So, this was your first encounter with these beans? My son is a Harry Potter fanatic. I have to separate out the nasty beans from the good ones and then when no one is looking, throw the inedible ones away. (Because kids think that if it is remotely interesting it should be kept forever). (BTW, the worst flavor they make has got to be rotten egg.)

Personally, I'd prefer it if they'd market the chocolate frogs from the books. But I never was a jelly bean type.

― Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

OMG earwax "down there". VAGINUS REPAIRO.

xpost

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

WINCROTCHIUM LEVIOSA

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

ROFFLUS MAXIMA

― Dan (Almost Worth The Pain) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 26 May 2006 18:53 (nineteen years ago)

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