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Lets us all together write a great and lenghty saga - one paragraph per person

There was once a man and a woman who were lovers. Not great lovers, but lovers still. They loved and loved buut one day love was not enough, so the man went to find great glory and the woman went under the sea to find a special item. Then a wizard appeared and spoke. He said...

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Saturday, 27 May 2006 07:46 (nineteen years ago)

"I'm a wizard. Where is a wizardstress that I may cum in?"

― Confounded (Confounded), Saturday, 27 May 2006 08:50 (nineteen years ago)

[has anyone done a CYOA wiki?]

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Saturday, 27 May 2006 09:48 (nineteen years ago)

"NO" said the wizadrstress. No on both counts! I will not open my magic pie for you, uncouth wizard, and I have not done this "CYOA" wiki as you so boldly put it!" Then the sea roared up and several animals cheered at the wizardesses' boldness.

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Saturday, 27 May 2006 10:45 (nineteen years ago)

A great, surging wave propelled both wizard and wizardstress onto a burnt sienna shore. After towelling himself down with a clump of limp bladder wrack and picking a winkle from his eyebrow, the wizard glanced at the surf and murmured, "Hmmm....looks like jism".

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 27 May 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

the woman, not the wizardstress, but the man's lover, returned from under the sea with a fender jaguar electric guitar, a Vox AC-100 amplifier, an ibanez tube screamer distortion pedal, and a copy of sylvia plath's 'arial.' she said to herself, "now that my not-so-great lover is off to find 'glory,' I will take some time and learn how to play." Over the next few months she practised several hours a day. She learned all the basic chords. She played a few scales every night, and for fun she covered pj harvey's 'sheela-na-gig,' and nirvana's 'negative creep.' she read sylvia plath over and over, and thought she must learn to write her lyrics as razor sharp.

― nicky lo-fi (nicky lo-fi), Saturday, 27 May 2006 15:29 (nineteen years ago)

She was, at all times, assailed by a strange and over-powering smell of Corned Beef.

― Lara (Lara), Saturday, 27 May 2006 20:34 (nineteen years ago)

This was becuase of the corned beef man, he used to rise up from the ocean depths on occaison. He fired corned at everyone.

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Sunday, 28 May 2006 01:58 (nineteen years ago)

As a result of this, there were dinosaurs.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Sunday, 28 May 2006 05:23 (nineteen years ago)

They said... "We are dinosaurs. Where are some wizardstresses that we may cum in?"

― Confounded (Confounded), Sunday, 28 May 2006 06:10 (nineteen years ago)

The wizardesress and the wizard combined magically into a WIZ - the wiz attacked teh dinosouars, fully killing them all, and he put them in a papain solution to make then into corned beef.

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Sunday, 28 May 2006 06:38 (nineteen years ago)

This gave the woman an idea for a theme based debut album:

http://www.picturetrunk.com/uploads/6b8d6e87b9.jpg

― nicky lo-fi (nicky lo-fi), Sunday, 28 May 2006 09:17 (nineteen years ago)

The WIZ said - "WHo are you woman! Where did you come from! What is it that you wanting!"

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Sunday, 28 May 2006 09:25 (nineteen years ago)

"What do you think I want?" came the reply.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 29 May 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

"PAPAYA FUCK!" sang the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, who had been flown in for just such an occasion (and were just as promptly flown back out).

Perplexed, the wizarding pair rang the doorbell...

― lurker #2421, inc. (lurker-2421), Monday, 29 May 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, the WIZ had split again into two seperate people. The door opened and out came a frenchman named Flab with a fish hanging.

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Monday, 29 May 2006 17:49 (nineteen years ago)

"Excuse me, are you able to distinguish between Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman?" asked the wizardstress. In reply, Flab smirked, waggled his eyebrows, and whispered the three little words she longed to hear:

― lurker #2421, inc. (lurker-2421), Monday, 29 May 2006 19:45 (nineteen years ago)

"where's my tea?"

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 29 May 2006 20:22 (nineteen years ago)

fucked this right up, didn't i?

er, said the wizard. or something.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 20:20 (nineteen years ago)

And a great confusion was had by all. Luckily, the wizardest owned a special chronographometer, which to everyone else looked like a regular pocketwatch. She reached into her magic hand-sewn hippy bag that she got at the street fair just last March, and by giving the knob a few deft fiddlings, transported the scene a bit into the future about oh, a couple hours or so, bypassing a whole bunch of stuff which had happened but didn't seem to progress the storyline much. Anyway, the wizard, the wizarderest, and the woman NOT the wizardstress were all sitting around munching corned-dinosaur-beef sandwiches and sipping owl-pellet tea with lemon, when a knock of foreshadowingly ominous portent issued forth from the side door just off the kitchen, the one that opened into the herb garden and not the main door down the hallway which lead to the beach where the few surviving dinosaurs were placidly grazing on washed-ashore sea kelp and the occasional sea gull or two.

"Hey, thought the wizardestess, I sense that the man has returned with tales of his quest for glory, and news of some bad stuff that's probably gonna happen that'll compel us to action and advance the plot somewhat. And tea, I hope he brought some of the real stuff."

A coulpa dinosaurs stopped their lunching mid-chew and warily craned their necks toward the wizard's beachfront shack, as if they sensed some real nasty shit was about to go down. Some dinosaurs are like that, and it creeps the regular dinosaurs out like you wouldn't believe.

― slugbuggy (slugbuggy), Thursday, 1 June 2006 12:25 (nineteen years ago)

"Wait, what happened to Flab?" asked the wizard. "And I thought this was Flab's place, not mine."

"Sometimes my magick alters reality a bit," exposited the wizardess. "But we should ignore such things and just go answer the door if we're going to get anywhere." So they did.

― slugbuggy (slugbuggy), Thursday, 1 June 2006 12:37 (nineteen years ago)

but before he got to the door, the wizard managed to slip over on a bit of sandwich, sending him tumbling to the ground. So startled was our old magical friend that he accidentally done some magic out of his fingers, a bit like when someone scares you and there's a little bit of wee that comes out but in this case it's fingers and magic - not genitals and urine.

The magic hit the door with a spark and a bang. At first nothing happened. Everyone sat around looking at each other and the wizard picked himself up off of the floor. Then he looked at the door...

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 1 June 2006 12:49 (nineteen years ago)

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