Hidden Nazi Gold!

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Quick! You and your ragtag team of miscreants have been alerted to the presence of Hidden Nazi Gold! But you must find it first!

Where will you begin looking? What will you pack? Which of your ragtag team of miscreants will you take along on this mission? Where do you think this Hidden Nazi Gold resides?

kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 June 2006 05:25 (nineteen years ago)

My grill?

John Justen, Penis-melting Zionist robot combs (johnjusten), Thursday, 1 June 2006 05:29 (nineteen years ago)

I was hoping this was going to be about that WFMU guy.

Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 1 June 2006 05:40 (nineteen years ago)

Secret Nazi Forest, obv.

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 1 June 2006 10:14 (nineteen years ago)

The Vatican?

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 1 June 2006 10:24 (nineteen years ago)

Swiss chocolate shops?

Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Thursday, 1 June 2006 12:11 (nineteen years ago)

Are you sure you're not mixing up Hidden Nazi Gold with Mozart's Chocolate Balls?

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 1 June 2006 12:12 (nineteen years ago)

There's a secret map hidden within the frames of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

dave's good arm (facsimile) (dave225.3), Thursday, 1 June 2006 12:18 (nineteen years ago)

Does the ragtag team of miscreants include one realactual nazi who will only reveal their true identity at the point of discovering the HNG? If so, I don't wanna take that guy.

robster (robster), Thursday, 1 June 2006 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

Not unless he's accompanied by some meddling kids without whom he'd have gotten away with it.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 1 June 2006 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

Okay, you've assembled your team and sailed for Switzerland. You've gotten wind that the gold had been formed into ingots secreted at the center of a run of the local popular delicacy, Mozart's Vaticandy Choco-Balls (TM). Huge vats of the Choco-Balls have been stored in deep-freeze for 60-odd years in the lowest levels of the Swiss National Chocolate Mines, hidden in forgotten side-tunnels carved out by slave dwarven labor.

Oh yeah, and the mines are now haunted and filled with monsters.

But your Royal Expeditionary Battle RV(unofficially dubbed "the HMS Oliver Reed") is fully-stocked with booze, gassed up, and ready to go.

What next?

kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 June 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

Vinnie Jones as Private Walker, that's what.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 1 June 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

OPEN DOOR

You are in a room, but no Nazi Gold.

There are exits to the North and East

Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Thursday, 1 June 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

The Banker is offering you - £3,300.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 1 June 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

You scoff at the proffered amount, and Pfc Jones starts up an acedote that takes up about 3 minutes of screen time. The Banker regards Pfc Jones with a quizzical look before asking him to sign a jersey.

The rest of the team is still in the RV, about to break out the really good stuff.

kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 June 2006 15:42 (nineteen years ago)

xyzzy

mummy wrapped in bacon (nickalicious), Thursday, 1 June 2006 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

anecdote, duh. My spelling is teh suck to-day.

kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 June 2006 15:48 (nineteen years ago)

Everybody knows that the hidden Nazi gold was recovered from the remannts of a German base in the Queen Maud Land area of Antarctica in 1947.

Queen Maud Land was where H.P. Lovecraft had located the Plateau of Leng and the city of the Old Ones in At The Mountains Of Madness. An early version of a scam Necronomicon that contained this information had fallen into the hands of the Thule Society who (unable to take a joke) took it literally and immediatly funded an initial initial survey of the area in 1939.

As WWII wound down, the remaining Nazi gold along with certain occult artifacts and relics were hidden at "Station 211" in Queen Maud Land by the crew of U-530 and U-977 in April 1945. Their mission complete, both U-boats surrendered in Argentina after the war.

Anyway, in 1947 Admiral Byrd commanded Operation High Jump, an expedition to find and explore the Nazi Antarctic base. The base (along with a couple surviving Nazis) were discovered and the gold removed along with some previously unknown secret weapons which may or may not have been flying saucers.

LOL Thomas (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 1 June 2006 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

Anyway, much of the U.S. Navy's obsession with Antartica and Nazi gold was fueled by resentment and rivarly with the U.S. Army who had recovered stolen gold and art at the Merkers Mines.

LOL Thomas (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 1 June 2006 16:34 (nineteen years ago)

General Patton was in charge of U.S. Army recovery at Merkers and there's been speculation that Patton was murdered because of what he had discovered in the mines. None other than Sprio Agnew was serving under Patton's command at the time - it's possible that his rise in political power was somehow connected to whatever happened there.

LOL Thomas (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 1 June 2006 16:40 (nineteen years ago)

THIS JUST IN! THERE SEEMS TO BWE no difference between gold and chocolate! scientists are exploding with cleverness!!!!

Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Thursday, 1 June 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

wtf?
xpost

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 1 June 2006 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

Excellent. It gladdens me that another has done as much research in preparation for this mission.

Now, while it is true that part of the shipment of Mozart's Vaticandy Choco-Balls were diverted by u-boat in 1943 after the Nazis had finally discoverd R'lyeh, the denizens of that resurfaced island caused a serious drain on Kriegsmarine resources located in the Pacific. It was due to these troubles that the majority of the gold was kept in those sunken Swiss mines and dwarven vaults.

Remember to keep your priorities in order; find the bigger treasure first.

xpost: no, Mike, you've been just biting into one too many "chocolate" gold coins again

kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 June 2006 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

I quit my job and joined the Kriegsmarine!

Courtney Gidts (ex machina), Thursday, 1 June 2006 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

also, some have extensively written on this very topic, chronicling decades of work and exploring into a single tome.

they put out this book, masking their research in the guise of a fictional "role-playing game," as they refer to it

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/1887797122.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 June 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

LOCATION

Washable School Paste (sexyDancer), Thursday, 1 June 2006 17:46 (nineteen years ago)

thank you for the link, but that thread offers no solution on how to extract nazi chocolate gold from the haunted swiss mines

kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 June 2006 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

thank you for the link, but that thread offers no solution on how to extract nazi chocolate gold from the haunted swiss mines

There's an interesting adjunct to the story that involves the scuttling of the Graf Spee in Uruguay. The surviving crew never repatriated back to Germany after the war, choosing instead to settle in a Argentine town named Villa General Belgrano. The town quickly took on the look of a Swiss resort and celebrates Oktoberfest and something called the "National Beer Festivity" to this day.

Supposedly the remaining survivors of the Graf Spee get together every year on the anniversary of the sinking and toast the Graf Spee's captain - who famously did not give the Nazi salute (but a naval salute instead) at the funeral for the crewmen killed in the battle.

The website for the town:
http://www.elsitiodelavilla.com/municipio/
Another site in English:
http://www.argentinaturistica.com/2vgbiresenia.htm

LOL Thomas (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 1 June 2006 19:21 (nineteen years ago)

sigh - can I find secret Musolini spagehti in my montana farm....

Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Thursday, 1 June 2006 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

that reminds me.

this chick?

http://www.gamerevolution.com/oldsite/games/xbox/action/blinx_2_swiss.jpg

got some SECRETS

xpost

no. that's already gone. do keep up.

kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 June 2006 19:56 (nineteen years ago)

Swiss Miss - NOW WITH COCAINE!

Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Thursday, 1 June 2006 19:59 (nineteen years ago)

The communication network of these guys?

ihttp://www.intercol.co.uk/acatalog/3809.jpg

is actually literal. Count the number of these you see each day:

ihttp://images.replacements.com/images/images2/china/C/P0000013102S0119T2.jpg

LOL Thomas (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 1 June 2006 20:31 (nineteen years ago)

it's like the Euro-chocolate version of W.A.S.T.E.

LOL Thomas (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 1 June 2006 20:32 (nineteen years ago)

I'm hiking the Alps with my new wife.

(flashback to courtship)

She falls into a crevasse and is trapped. I hail a ragtag team of mountain-climbing miscreants who are reluctant to help, but they do, reluctantly. The gruff one drops her at the last minute. They pack up and leave me on the mountainside. I trail them, plotting my revenge.

They are surveying the entrance to my rich Swiss uncle's abandoned mines. They are gathered around some documents and a map. I am intrigued. At night, I sneak into their camp to pilfer the documents. Slowly, I aproach.

Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 1 June 2006 20:57 (nineteen years ago)

careful, you might fall afoul of their cunning boobytraps or half-blind-yet-still-active german shepherd, named Stefan.

kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 2 June 2006 04:12 (nineteen years ago)

But they didn't reckon with the death-defying powers of the swimming rat!

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 2 June 2006 07:12 (nineteen years ago)

Sure, Stinky, the swimming rat, has crap for skills, but his charisma is through the roof.

Look into Stinky's beady little eyes, Stephan.

Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:27 (nineteen years ago)

He defeated the canibles.

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:33 (nineteen years ago)

The Canibles are a dysfuntional suburban family with a lot of heart and a lot of laughter. Don Canible, the father, is a dentist. His wife, Sisy, a confectioner. Hijinks ensue.

Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

ISLAND OF THE CANIBLES

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 2 June 2006 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

Don and Sisy were defeated by a rat. These island folk were defeated by Frank Neuhauser

Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Friday, 2 June 2006 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

mmm! chocolate coins!

Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Friday, 2 June 2006 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

have we talked about that spike lee movie?

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 3 June 2006 01:09 (nineteen years ago)

Yes. ILConsensus deemed it good, but not his best work.

milo z (mlp), Saturday, 3 June 2006 01:12 (nineteen years ago)

may i apply for this ilconsensus position?

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 3 June 2006 01:14 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...
It should be noted that Himmler's Ahnenerbe was responsible for stealing the Necronomicon from the Bibliothèque Nationale. It might have survived the RAF bombing campaign of their HQ in 1943 and subsequent relocation.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/82/Tibet-Expedition.jpg

It is rumored that the still-hidden nazi gold treasure was part of their funding, tho this has never been verified.

However, one Himmler's deputies, Doktor Herbert Jankuhn, reportedly found an intact copy of Unaussprechlichen Kulten while in Crimea around 1942, and had it crated up for shipping back. It was mysteriously lost along the way, and has been missing ever since. Subsequent reports of it appearing at a Polish auction house in the early 90s are false.

kingfish cyclopean ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 05:52 (nineteen years ago)

The team also recorded information on Finnish saunas.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 06:00 (nineteen years ago)

three months pass...
Say, what's all this about the Thule Society?

Elvis T, do you know anything about these guys?

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 06:06 (eighteen years ago)

"Hidden Nazi Gold!" sounds like an eary Nintendo game.

A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 12:39 (eighteen years ago)

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/ft/2006/10/thrillers-for-kids-2-the-lone-pine-club/

Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 12:57 (eighteen years ago)

Say, what's all this about the Thule Society?

Elvis T, do you know anything about these guys?

German occult group that coalesced together in the immediate post-WWI chaos from various factions of grumpy loss-of-identity ideologues, disaffected mystics and frightened anti-communist businessmen all of whom were: 1. reeling from the defeat of Germany and 2. worried about a socialist/communist uprising in the German working class.

The Thules were obsessed with the "lost tribe" myth - believing that there was an ancient race of Germanic people in the north who were the true progenitors of the German (i.e. Aryan) people and that reconnecting with their ancient ancestors would somehow give them the knowledge to defeat their enemies and attain some sort of transformation.

The non-occultist Thules took to the cut-rate Theosophical racism that the occultists were into and armed with money from those anti-communist businessmen set about funding newspapers and the right-wing German Workers Party organization. We all know what happened after that...

Ironically, the Nazi government banned the Thule Society even though the occult underpinnings continued into various Nazi secret societies.

Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 18:44 (eighteen years ago)

So, that's where all those bad guys in Hellboy came from?

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 18:46 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/02/26/nazi.gold/index.html?section=cnn_latest

DEUTSCHNEUDORF, Germany (CNN) -- Digging has resumed at a site in the southeastern German town of Deutschneudorf, where treasure hunters believe there are almost 2 tons of Nazi gold and possibly clues to the whereabouts of the legendary Amber Room, a prize taken from a Russian castle during World War II...

kingfish, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 18:41 (seventeen years ago)

I hope Geraldo is available to host the inevitable tv special.

svend, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 18:51 (seventeen years ago)

geraldo joke!

s1ocki, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 18:56 (seventeen years ago)

Is "Nazi gold" different from regular gold? Like, are they going to find 2 tons of chocolate because that was very rare back then and it was nicknamed "Nazi gold" ?

StanM, Tuesday, 26 February 2008 19:32 (seventeen years ago)

eleven months pass...

Bumped b/c am bored lately with lack of nazi gold stories in news.

Also, wikipedia has its own special entry for this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_gold

Nazi gold and La Cosa Nostra

There have also been conspiracy theories about the Mafia, and their connections in the Swiss National Bank. Some people estimate that, under the regime of Mob boss, Charlie "Lucky" Luciano, during the last months of World War II, Luciano's top associate, Meyer Lansky, had close connections within the Swiss National Bank, and lured the Nazis for over $300 million in gold. Lansky then, allegedly, had the gold laundered into several unknown bank-accounts, and fled back to the United States of America. This, of course, has never been proved, but Lansky had hundreds of associates in Switzerland, and it's possible that the lost Nazi gold could have been stolen and smuggled into financing the Cosa Nostra to a nation-world-wide organization.

kingfish, Friday, 13 February 2009 02:37 (sixteen years ago)

http://goatmilk.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/indiana_jones_temple_of_doom.jpg

PappaWheelie V, Friday, 13 February 2009 03:24 (sixteen years ago)

Strikes me as highly unlikely that the Nazis would entrust gold to a Jewish mobster.

You just got HAPPENED (Hurting 2), Friday, 13 February 2009 03:40 (sixteen years ago)

Strikes me as highly unlikely that the Nazis would entrust gold to a Jewish mobster.

Especially one who publicly claimed to have broken up rallies of Nazi sympathizers (even though he probably made most of it up)

Chris Barrus (Elvis Telecom), Friday, 13 February 2009 08:16 (sixteen years ago)

yo bismaaaaaaaaarcke
show me where your bunker at
secret bunker
nazi bunker
secret bunker
nazi rave

resident advice whore (haitch), Friday, 13 February 2009 08:29 (sixteen years ago)

four years pass...

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