Suicide

2. drugs. sedatives or tylenol would be easy. the latter sucks and is painful but is defintely doable.

3. driving a car at 100+ mph into a freeway pylon. defintely last choice. would take hanging 100 times over this.

yes i think about this often and always have an exit planned out.

Methods I have tried: slitting wrists with knife (wanted to be stopped); sedatives with whiskey (same); dehydration and starvation (horrible, horrible means. don't know what i was thinking); jumping off of tall structure (stopped myself by calling hotline).

as far as jumping. when i was seriously planning this i was casing the huge football stadium at my college. i planned on jumping down into the path of an oncoming bus. i went so far as standing on the edge of the uppermost seating in the stadium, where the lights are. at the time they let people into the seats when band practice was going on. after I went to crisis counseling though i think they tightened up security. the oncoming bus part was key.

glowgurl79 - Yes, the bus was certainly key. You like to go the more painful ways it seems, but that's honourable and I give you credit. Several students have committed suicide at my school, but yours would certainly be the most infamous.

*sighs*

I've never, ever once contemplated it. I just can't. I accept my own mortality, natch, but I don't want to leave this life early.

I am not and cannot be and will not be a counselor, I'm not that kind of person, I'm just a nutty music obsessive. But...oh, I can't say it, I can't lecture people about what to do and what they decide. But is it flippant to say that since suicide means not having the opportunity to see a beautiful sunset again, to have your favorite dish in the world again, to hear that one song you adore again, that these among so many others are reasons to live, so you can enjoy these things and so many others?

Is that flippant? Is that just well-meaning codswallop on my part? I don't know. Can somebody tell me that much, at least? Am I that naive?

My cousin's cousin committed suicide in his garage. He hung himself. He had been diagnosed with a terminal illness. He was 21. I think it was his parents who found him. It's sad yes, but I don't think they were surprised. It runs in the family (the illness, not the suicide). I am sorry if I have offended anyone or horrified anyone by starting this thread. It was a simple thought that crossed my mind earlier. Things like this come across during hard times, as one would expect.

In any case a few years back I was thinking of bringing the Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Association to my school. It never worked out because I couldn't imagine myself trying to help someone who was that passionate about it.

Once again, I am sorry if these questions sound so naive, so impersonal towards these things. I know they're serious, I know they're painful. It's a loss of faith in certain usually stable things that tips me off.

But then I had a very stupid accident washing up and cracking a salad bowl. As a result, I got three or four stitches in my right wrist and a blood transfusion. And the loss of blood on the way to hospital was indeed felt, yet not painful, but dreadful, I hardly could move the arm when we got there, like if the 'elan' was abandoning my body. Perhaps it was dreadful because I did not want to die at all...

I do like this phrase, tho.

it's like the ultimate troll saying to everyone s/he knows YOU ARE ALL JUST RUBBISH AND I PROVE IT THUS....

my friend *was* actually a bit gothy, now i think of it, but so what? — i wish he'd been a lot MORE gothy, because then we could have talked about it: not that i'd have had much to say, except maybe to make him laugh at himself and how he was being. he froze me out by keeping EVERYTHING to himself and now i can't forgive him

For the Suicides
in memory: J & G & J

If we recall your voices
As softer now, it's only
That they must have drifted back

A long way to have reached us
Here, and upon such a wind
As crosses the high passes.

Nor does the blue of your eyes
(Remembered) cast much light on
The page ripped from the tablet.

* * *

Once there in the labyrinth,
Your were safe from your reasons.
We stand, now, at the threshold,

Peering in, but the passage,
For us, remains obscure; the
Corridors are still bloody.

* * *

What you meant to prove you have
Proved: we did not care for you
Nearly enough. Meanwhile the

Bay was preparing herself
To receive you, the for once
Wholly adequate female

To your dark inclinations;
Under your care the pistol
Was slowly learning to flower

In the desired explosion,
Disturbing the careful part
And the briefly recovered

Fixed smile of a forgotten
Triumph; deep within the black
Forest of childhood that tree

Was already rising which,
With the length of your body,
Would cast the double shadow.

* * *

The masks by which we knew you
Have been torn from you. Even
Those mirrors, to which always

You must have turned to confide,
Cannot have recognized you,
Stripped, as you were, finally.

At the end of your shadow
There sat another, waiting,
Whose back was always to us.

* * *

When the last door had been closed,
You watched, inwardly raging,
For the first glimpse of your selves
Approaching, jangling their keys.

Musicians of the black keys,
At last you compose yourselves.
We hear the music raging
Under the lids we have closed.

-Donald Justice

what are you, like emo gershy?

Is there a universe where that is considered a good poem, and if so how do we destroy it?

I really like Ned's first post on this thread, but more because it's so Ned, not so much out of agreement with it.

It is very me, isn't it. The sentiment remains the same, though I'd express it differently now.

the best solution for those worried about their impact on the environment is to kill themselves

Sitting with my back to the street on top of a 75-story building, revolver placed firmly in mouth.

Is there a universe where that is considered a good poem, and if so how do we destroy it?

i don't think it's bad at all, and donald justice was rather high regarded, so I think you'd have to destroy THIS universe, unfortunately

Ah, Love! Could you and I with Fate conspire
To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire,
Would we not shatter it to bits - and then
Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire!

(for Casuistry)

Is there a universe where that is considered a good poem, and if so how do we destroy it?

you smug piece of shit

RIP big man

I'm with Ned here, but if I had no firearm access and had to off myself, I'd take a massive heroin OD.

wow, Casuistry. I posted a poem that's incredibly moving to me, one by universally respected American poet only recently deceased, and you zinged it. Fuck you, die slow.

35

the collateral damage of criticism

how has dorothy parker not been quoted on this thread?

Guns aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, you might as well live?

I had a dream that the Suicide thread was resurrected! ILM wins.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwQwqxgsybw

J0hn, whatever sadness you've felt that led you to post that -- I (obviously, I should hope) was not trying to zing that.

But sure, de gustibus non disputandum and all that, so I should have just let it pass.

But I'll remember that J0hn thinks that a "universally respected" poet had damn well better stay "universally respected".

(Also, of course, Donald Justice was not in any way "universally respected". Like most poets, he was "generally ignored". I don't hang out with the sorts of poets who would consider him to have been on the map of the world of poetry -- not because they're bad people, just because that's not the world of poetry that I live in. And what little I've seen about him didn't seem especially interested or engaged, but that's all I can go on.)

according to this INFOGRAPHIC there will be more than twice as many suicides as homicides in the US this year.

Intially I thought "That's prepostourous!", but then i realised i knew 2 people who had committed suicide but i don't know anyone who has been murdered.

http://www.russellheimlich.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/death_probabilities.jpg

Other things that struck me as odd:

More deaths from lightning than fireworks, spiders and sharks combined, challenging my view of a lightning strike as a rare, unlucky event.

Also, only 270 deaths a year from alcohol poisoning? What are all the alcoholics dying of?

What are all the alcoholics dying of?

liver disease, kidney failure, complications from diabetes, dui accidents, etc. etc.

alcohol poisoning is acute, alcoholism is chronic. only a fucking amateur would die of alcohol poisoning.

that infographic is for men, not all people in the US

not trying to be a pedant or anything! but i would like to know the suicide:homicide ratio for women too, now.

More die from foreign object left behind during surgery than shark attack.

as opposed to being the foreign object left in the shark, as it were.

you actually made that joke

when? oh.

In 2004, the female suicide death rate among those aged 15 years and older was 5.7 per 100,000 females, compared to a rate of 22.4 per 100,000 males.

In countries like Australia, Canada and the US - about 3-4 men kill themselves as compared to 1 woman.

I can't find any homicide-victim rates that are divided by gender.

More men are raped then women if prison rape is counted :(

My old best friend from high school just TEXTED me about how he tried to commit suicide last Wednesday.

What's fucked up is that our best friend killed himself in high school, and he KNOWS how intensely sad that was for all of us, his family, his friends.

WHO THE FUCK TEXTS ABOUT THIS

I immediately call him, and he says "Now's not a good time, I'm about to go onstage", because I guess his band is about to play somewhere. I hate this. Every time with him, he's just drunk, but if I don't call him back or answer his call, I would never forgive myself if he went through with it.

What a thread for a Friday night.

If someone is going through with it, their call won't come at a time it could be answered. You won't be the only person called if there is still hope.

It isn't somebody else's fault. Not anybody that could do anythign about it.

OTOH if he is bothering to call, generally it means he does want to be heard. Not that I'm saying you should blame yourself if you miss a certain opportunity, but it does matter. Then again, I hate drunks, so fuck it.

If people are going to do it, they will call when it's too late (as in phone to say bye and hang up) or leave a note.

Why the fuck are there so many people with emotional health problems and the like here? Not just this thread, but ILX in general. It's enough to make a person nervous.
― Josh

http://www.unconditionalconfidence.com/mt/mt-static/FCKeditor/UserFiles/Image/nervous.gif

I don't know. Why aren't there decent responses to people who are seriously depressed? Ever try calling a suicide hotline? They blow.

It just doesn't seem like (American) society is serious about people's health, mental or physical.

Oh you get that feeling too?

As weird as American health care is in general, mental health is the red-headed stepchhild. Don't get me started. Just... don't.

I don't think it's that much better here (in Belgium). The problem is that mental health is such a "vague" thing, difficult to diagnose, difficult to treat, and psychology is still regarded to many (here) as,well, not part of science. "Failed doctors" is what my friend calls'em. Actually many people here think it's better in the US (the way it's approached, not the health care, am I making myself clear?)

The whole "bc they called, means they're not gonna do it" is a crap line. Because you tend to... trivialize it all - well, they're not really serious about it. Do not consider it as though it's only a cry for help. Treat it seriously, as though they will do it.

What's fucked up is that our best friend killed himself in high school, and he KNOWS how intensely sad that was for all of us, his family, his friends.

So he has to keep living because you all felt crap? What about him? This line won't really work. He's in deep shit, depressed. I know you mean well, but you gotta stop thinking from your standpoint if you wanna get through him: he's in a world where he only sees himself (in a deeply shitty situation).

My old best friend from high school just TEXTED me about how he tried to commit suicide last Wednesday.

Would a pigeon have worked better? Text message is... easier. When I feel extremely shitty and want to express myself then I usually prefer to chat. Yes, CHAT. Because otherwise I start crying 'n' shit and I find it humiliating. Also, I can express myself better through the written/typed word. (haha -> Still, can't really write well though. hahah)

^^^^^^ very otm. less personal the medium, easier it is to say stuff.

There are so many problems when it comes to how mental health is regarded, though some of it is how much of an inexact science it is today, there's so many different treatments that will work for different people (in terms of medications, therapies). Despite there being a greater general awareness of it, there's still a huge stigma and shame about seeking help, which doesn't help since when you're suicidally depressed, you already don't want to.

Are you okay? If you need to talk, it's igotabeefpastry @ gmail dot com

you - anyone, I guess

I have had v good luck w/hotlines, btw.

I just want to sleep forever. Sleeping is the only thing I look forward to. At what point does one decide "I'm never going to get my shit together"?

dude you never decide that because it isn't true. I give this testimonial all the time but in 2008 I wanted death so bad I could taste it, it was all I thought about when I was awake, it was a big fucking surprise because I'd been out of the woods for years, I'm a senior citizen I didn't think I was going to see the please-let-me-just-not-wake-up station again ever and then there I was. four years & plenty of therapy later I am in better shape than I've ever been in and I would not have guessed, in a thousand years, all the turns things have taken for me since the last day I spent wandering from room to room unable to do anything but cry. you just do not know, empirically you cannot know because there's no such thing as the future except one that's limitless & infinite and a great number of the possibilities there are very pleasant indeed, that you will never get your shit together. that's just the most vivid of the infinite possibilities from your present perspective, which is clouded by feeling like shit

hang the fuck on blank imo

^^ co-signing, aero knows from what he speaks

Lost a friend this weekend.

Please people talk to each other.

x

I am so sorry for your loss. Take as good care of yourself as you can.