Boob etiquette (a question for the fellas).

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So, do you attempt to mash them together into one ultrakissable megaboob or put your face between them and play motorboat? Or perhaps you paw at them like a crazed feline convinced he's found the catnip motherlode?

What is your preferred method of making your lady roll her eyes and say, "Are you done yet?"

― Dan (Equal Opportunity) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 02:56 (nineteen years ago)

this one now that one now this one...

― The Giant Mechanical Ant (The Giant Mechanical Ant), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:01 (nineteen years ago)

teeth

― account (account), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:01 (nineteen years ago)

Thanks, now I can't get the word 'brrrrrrrrritski' out of my head.

― Hotman Paris Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:03 (nineteen years ago)

All of the aboob. I mean, above.

― mike h. (mike h.), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:06 (nineteen years ago)

Dan Perry is my hero.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:09 (nineteen years ago)

little hats and funny voices. and a flashlight.

― The Giant Mechanical Ant (The Giant Mechanical Ant), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:28 (nineteen years ago)

My lad uses my boobs as a handwarmer! Its like "yes dear, they're called breasts and everybody has them."

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:30 (nineteen years ago)

I have breasts, too, but they're much smaller and believe me, it's not the same.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:32 (nineteen years ago)

dammit kenan why why why

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:45 (nineteen years ago)

Most appreciative of my nascent man-breasts: my cat. Apparently, that's a nice, soft part of me. I would be insulted if it were not for all the extra kitty love I get.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:47 (nineteen years ago)

Don't show him your mangina then

― Hotman Paris Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:48 (nineteen years ago)

excelsiorbate

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Monday, 12 June 2006 03:49 (nineteen years ago)

excelsiorbate

Not to get all Jaymc, but what does that even mean? Is it so funny that you have to touch yourself?

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 04:37 (nineteen years ago)

Whoa oh oh.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 12 June 2006 05:03 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.cqc.state.ny.us/Danweb/images/motorboat.gif

let's go!

― kingfish du lac (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 12 June 2006 06:12 (nineteen years ago)

blowing raspberries should be done on right breast only.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:24 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus Dan, does your wife have any idea what you do on the internet?

― mummy wrapped in playing motorboat (nickalicious), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

haha, I think there's supposed to have been a comma between "Jesus" and "Dan", but it works this way, too.

― mummy wrapped in bacon (nickalicious), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:39 (nineteen years ago)

dan's internet connection is actually projected onto mrs perry's boobs, in fact he's reading your post there right now whilst motorboating

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:40 (nineteen years ago)

ken is on the nipple

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus Dan, does your wife have any idea what you do on the internet?

She has an idea.

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

Left Right Left Right Earmuffs

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

I never thought to put them in my ears. Hmm.

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

... No, I don't think that's going to work. Intriguing idea, though!

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:05 (nineteen years ago)

You put earmuffs in your ears?

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:05 (nineteen years ago)

Earmuffs, not earplugs. It works!

― The Jazz Guide to Penguins on Compact Disc (Rock Hardy), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

You tried it between posts?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

(xx-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

You tried it between posts?

Surely between boobs? *gets coat*

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

blackadderwearingcomedybreastsasearmuffs.jpg

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

As an aside, please note that I am working very hard not to cross lines that shouldn't be crossed. I hope you apreciate that, Dan, because this post is like an open invitation, all shiny, catching the sunlight, with Siren sound effects and two shoulder devils.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:08 (nineteen years ago)

Hahahahahaha oh, I do appreciate that and I absolutely noticed! In fact, I just might have been baiting you!

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

You Hastings kids with your wacky japes.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

xboobs??

xxxxpost

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

i miss having a readily available pair of boobs.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

You were baiting me with your wife's breasts?

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

Delphine Seyrig definitely. Her monologues in Last Year in Marienbad are so classic.

― JTS (JTS), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

try eating more xxpost

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

Now that's an euphemism for boobs I've never heard!

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

"Your monologues fill my ears!"

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

Time for someone to write "The Breast Dialogues."

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

it's really more a dialogue unless you're peggy mitchell?

heh xpost

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

"You should definitely see The Gift, Katie Holmes's monologues are classic in that!"

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

You were baiting me with your wife's breasts?

It's a hard habit to break.

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

(Also thanks to the turn this thrad has taken, I will never, ever be able to look at Eve Ensler again without screaming with laughter.)

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

http://zharpomarx.tripod.com/last_year_at_marienbad.jpg

I'm inclined to agree. I wonder if her monologues are "moving" in any way......?

― JTS (JTS), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:34 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.thecityreview.com/lastyrm.gif

― JTS (JTS), Monday, 12 June 2006 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

I've been chuckling over this thread for about 20 minutes now. (Since this is a thread for the fellas, I won't make the obvious suggestion that maybe you should ask the lady in question what she might prefer.)

Earmuffs?! FB, you are as bad as I remember you being... (now so saddened by my own lack of imagination).

― Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

(Since this is a thread for the fellas, I won't make the obvious suggestion that maybe you should ask the lady in question what she might prefer.)

B-b-but Sara, if you do what the lady prefers, she's not going to roll her eyes and say, "Okay Fumbleface, time to go play a videogame or something."

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

The ladies prefer zerberts.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

Respectfully suggesting that you may be missing the point in the first place...

― Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

LL Cool Z

― kingfish du lac (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

Do you make with the earmuffs before or after you've given them individual names?

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

"Okay Fumbleface, time to go play a videogame or something."

Theoretically this implies that Dan plays videogames with his face.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

(Er, that was directed to Dan, not FB. But zerberts, LOL.)

― Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

It's been approximately 2 hours now since I first glimpsed this thread and the word "MEGABOOB" still echoes in my mind, as though shouted by frightened Japanese men pointing towards the sky.

― mummy wrapped in bacon (nickalicious), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

OK, that's not MEGABOOB, but WTF. Boobie thread, meet turn for the worst:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0783103107.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

Vagina Dentata

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:41 (nineteen years ago)

It's a giant mutant flower...And I've just remembered what one of my friend uses "flower" as a euphemism for...Oh God, that's really disturbing.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

xpost. obviously

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

Zerbert!

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 14:47 (nineteen years ago)

http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/billcosby1_1.jpg

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

It's like every part of him has gotten old except his nose.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.jiten.com/media/1/20050512-grimace.jpg

― The Giant Mechanical Ant (The Giant Mechanical Ant), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

Now how did I know the parody thread would be more popular than the original...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

you should've started the parody thread first.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

Kids say the most surreal things.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

Zerbert!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/rankofhands/tattoo3.jpg

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Monday, 12 June 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

"It's a fish that spits tigers that spit tigers."

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

Vagina?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

Ah, should've turned the pics on.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

what's funny is that even at the time Tuomas bitched about the parody thread, the original thread had/has more posts...

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:05 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, good one.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:06 (nineteen years ago)

Oh no my humour is ruined!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:06 (nineteen years ago)

It's a situation should be remedied.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:07 (nineteen years ago)

"humor"? Huh.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:08 (nineteen years ago)

Finally I've learned the Finnish slang word for "erection".

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:09 (nineteen years ago)

Ok, that's like an automatic excelsior. I hope you're fuckin' happy.

― sinful caesar sipped his snifter (kenan), Monday, 12 June 2006 18:12 (nineteen years ago)

three years pass...

TIT FOR TAT

― her performance (ie, her pubes) stood out for me (HI DERE), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 20:16 (sixteen years ago)

five years pass...

Left Right Left Right Earmuffs

― There was Bjork from Iceland and Alanis Morissette from Canada (onimo), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 09:35 (ten years ago)

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