Descrribe, praise and/or vilify your favorite non-UK/US World Cup commentators

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Yes yes yes, Motson and Lawro and Wright and all that, and annoyances most of them are. But this comment:

To the French people, let us also talk about how crap the commentators were, permanently praising France and being all awed whenever Zidane got the ball etc.

...made me realize that I really don't know many other commentators outside the UK crew, the mostly hapless ESPN dorks over here and of course the gods of Spanish-language TV here in the States and thereabouts (bless St. A. Cantor forever). So who do you have in YOUR home country? Are they amiable duffers? Typical blowhards? Failed athletes trying to find a new career? Anyone actually GOOD?

Photos, sound and video clips encouraged. Translations as well, as needed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

Also, please to ignore my ridiculous spelling error re: 'describe' in the thread title.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

i don't like julie foudy's hair

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

okay, she's not non-us, but i stand by it

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

The Australian commentors on SBS definitely fall under the 'amiable duffers' banner but that's no real excuse for their uninformed snooze inducing 'analysis'. Full marks for SBS's commitment to football and all but jeez, lighten up guys. And they could turn the jingoism dial down a notch or two.

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 22:10 (nineteen years ago)

i like being a football noob cuz it makes the announcers way less annoying. whatever they know way more than i do. now, baseball commentators....

― jergins (jergins), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 22:19 (nineteen years ago)

Behold Arne Scheie!

Then:
http://www.nrk.no/img/288723.jpeg

Now:
http://www.vg.no/bilder/bildarkiv/960161803.jpg

An institution in Norwegian television football (and ski jumping), he is particularly renowned for his mad knowledge of nerdy stats. Before today's game between Croatia and Brazil, for instance, he was able to tell us that the Kovac brothers were the twelfth pair of brothers ever to play a World Cup game. Alright, that may have been in the press pack all commentators received (did anyone else mention it?), but I'm willing to bet that he knew it beforehand. Or, indeed, supplied the fact.

His commentary is, well, okay I suppose, me not being the kind of person who gets annoyed with nerdy stats.

In the pub tonight I also learnt that this is the tenth consecutive World Cup he covers. Is this a record?

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Tuesday, 13 June 2006 22:39 (nineteen years ago)

Martin Tyler commentating for SBS in Australia.

Bow before the master of the 90 minute one-man conversation.

― Less is More Murray (Sans Sushi), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 10:27 (nineteen years ago)

In the pub tonight I also learnt that this is the tenth consecutive World Cup he covers. Is this a record?

When would Motson have started? '74? Which would make this his ninth. So maybe!

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 10:45 (nineteen years ago)

For anyone who understands Spanish, there is some real class here from former Real Madrid stalwart Michel:

http://www.sangrefria.com/web/2005/12/21/frases-de-michel/

Sample:

Co-commentator - Rooney looks older than he really is because of his face.
Michel: He must have had a very difficult childhood.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 10:47 (nineteen years ago)

I *think* Barry Davies did 10 consecutive World Cups (66 through 2002?), but I'll defer clarification of that to someone else.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

A chance to hear Micheal "Mick" Robinson in action on Spanish TV:

http://www.robinhoweb.com/2005/08/30/video-robinho-cadiz/

I wonder if this is Raul's last goal?

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 11:12 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, Davies did '66 for ITV. Perhaps '70 too.

Nothing matches the thrill of Coleman down a phone line. But I'm getting off-topic.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 11:16 (nineteen years ago)

on monday night SBS pulled the sensationally stupid move of having TWO panels of analysts for the australia-japan game! one at the game, one based in the studio back in sydney. madness.

― guns to deal with vodka (haitch), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

"you've heard our thoughts, now let's throw to some other people who watched the game on TV"

― guns to deal with vodka (haitch), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 11:20 (nineteen years ago)

I'm still finding it a little difficult to believe that Simon Hill is really that excited about "our" Socceroos.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ is a GE Money Genie (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 12:13 (nineteen years ago)

so who is it who's commentating the game on espn2 right now? they're not bad, i've decided. one guy sounds british, the other irish. but they seem to only do the first game of the day.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 12:46 (nineteen years ago)

the american commentators are atrocious. well, at least the guy that called the brazil game yesterday.

― gbx (skowly), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

i watched the brazil game at a cafe with bbc coms to avoid that.

espn halftime coverage is the painful (not brit+irish guys). re: spain: "i call them the red sox... i know it's not baseball but blah blah blah some lame joke about win/loss records."

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

For anyone who understands Spanish, there is some real class here from former Real Madrid stalwart Michel:

I like this one:
Holanda está atacando por donde la sopa más quema (por el centro)
"Holland is attacking where the soup burns the most"

― Sons Of The Redd Desert (Ken L), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

Pablo Ramirez on Univision usually gives little quasi-nicknames and catchphrases for the keepers he uses to fill space after a shot on goal. After teams drop out he reuses them for other goalies, so by the end of the 2002 games they pretty much all applied to Oliver Kahn.

I remember these from four years ago:
Gianluigi Buffon- "Este es un gato con guantes" - "This is a cat with gloves"
Thomas Sørensen- "Este es la manche verde" -This is the green stain"
Oscar "El Conejo" Pérez - "¡Salta, Conejo!" - "Jump, rabbit!"
Oliver Kahn - "Superkahn!"

― Sons Of The Redd Desert (Ken L), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

This time around I haven't noticed any pattern except him leaning on existing nicknames "Chiquidracula"- "Little Dracula" for Paraguay's Mexican coach and "Chila" for co-commentator Chilavert.

― Sons Of The Redd Desert (Ken L), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

I've just watched the Spain - Ukraine game and got to listen to Thierry Roland and Frank Leboeuf (!). Leboeuf is actually rather useless though fun, like today when he was really fucking pissed off at the referee for being so bad. Thierry Roland must be commentating his 6th or 7th WC I guess (wouldn't know for sure though, I wasn't born) and is famous for saying terribly racist tings during games. Can't remember when he said, after a bad call by the referee in a WC QF : "Honestly, don't we have anything better that a TUNISIAN referee for a quarter final?". Also famous for declaring, in 2002, during a S. Korean game : "Koreans are vicious". On the same channel we also occasionnaly get Chritophe Dugarry as a commentator. France be loving WC winners as commentators. On TF1, different bunch of commentators, amongst them Arsene Wenger, who has to be the least talkative commentator I have ever seen on TV. I believe he talks like 5-6 times max during a gae (I may slightly be exagerating).

― Jibé (Jibé), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

Wait, I finally read the thread properly and realize I shouldn't have posted here.

― Sons Of The Redd Desert (Ken L), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

Meantime:

In Indonesia, meanwhile, former President Suharto's daughter Titiek appeared on private television channel SCTV on World Cup opening night as a football pundit and presenter of the Germany-Costa Rica game, prompting complaints that the Suharto clan was hijacking the world's biggest sporting event to polish up its tarnished image.

"Technically speaking, she is not someone who knows a lot about football," said Ade Armando of the Indonesian Broadcasting Commission, adding that the move was politically provocative.

Nor was Titiek's on-screen appearance likely to attract many viewers, he ventured.

A spokesman for SCTV defended Titiek's appearance, saying it was meant to expand the channel's audience.

"As for Titiek, she has to improve her skill as a presenter," he conceded.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 15:32 (nineteen years ago)

i love how the espn commentators are constantly mentioning during every game today and for the past couple days, the US-Italy game on Saturday - i mean, i understand that's they're an american station, but it's still funny, considering the lesser-power the US team is. They keep saying how the US HAVE TO WIN. and just now: the US have never beat Italy in a world cup game. in many ways, i can't wait until Italy beats them, just to shut these guys up about it.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 June 2006 19:17 (nineteen years ago)

espn2 shows professional DOMINO games??!!
these guys are total dudes btw.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 16 June 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

there is a guy named Leroy Brown! they are all from jamaica!
i do not understand this game AT ALL!

re: US-tv commentators, i've decided i like the irish guy the most. he was wearing a bright orange tie this afternoon.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 16 June 2006 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

ABC commentator during the Iran/Mexico game last weekend: "I wonder how these Iranian players feel coming into nurenberg considering how their leader feels about Hitler?"

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 16 June 2006 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

OK, in the wider interpretation of this thread I will post what Pablo Ramirez, I think, said about Lucho Gonzalez when he was injured and taken out: "El tiene mucho futbol en sus zapatos" - "He has a lot of football in his shoes."

― Sons Of The Redd Desert (Ken L), Saturday, 17 June 2006 00:01 (nineteen years ago)

Dr. Joyce Brothers!

― JTS (JTS), Saturday, 17 June 2006 05:27 (nineteen years ago)

I'm currently watching the games on a CCTv feed. And I have to say I dig those Chinese commentators even though I can't understand a single word they're saying.

― Jibé (Jibé), Sunday, 18 June 2006 15:23 (nineteen years ago)

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