"you're sensational" "that's a staggering achievement".

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/5078908.stm

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

Grout, yesterday:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41763000/jpg/_41763924_dad-body.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

Other things to say to your young offspring:

"That's a nice suit"

"That's a swanky suit"

"Been a Pope like no other"

"A noble debut tackling vertiginous demands"

"I'm looking for a good cowboy"

"It's hard to pick the worst part"

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

Who in the holy hell says "That's a staggering achievement" to ANYONE, much less a baby? Advice like this is what makes ppl like this:

http://www.capital-club.com/gallery/gallery-sinatra05.html

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

i bet Mozart's Dad said it to Mozart when he was a baby.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

Then Mozart probably took him down, the punk.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:34 (nineteen years ago)

Mozart's dad probably didn't even speak English, steve.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:35 (nineteen years ago)

"NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH!"

That's what my dad said to me when I was a baby...and for the next 17 years...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

I am SO going to say 'that's a staggering achievement' when my kid does its first shit. Maybe a nice manful pat on the back and a cheery wink as well.

Incidentally, I don't know why the Family Education Trust are worried about patronising fathers, since mothers have been patronised since forever but the FET haven't mentioned the need to recognise THEIR 'authority'.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

Are these phrases from a list of things Dudley Moore says when he is dancing around praising Peter Cook in Bedazzled?

― Sons Of The Redd Desert (Ken L), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

C.K. Dexter-Haven, a successful popular jazz musician, moves into a mansion close to his ex-wife's Tracy Lord's estate. She is on the verge of marrying a blander, safer man than Dex, who starts trying to win Tracy's heart again. Mike Connor, a tabloid reporter, also falls for Tracy while covering the nuptuals for his magazine. Tracy must choose between the three men as she discovers that "safe" can mean "deadly dull" when it comes to husbands and lifestyles.


MIKE:A thorough knowledge I've got about girls,
I've been around.
And after learning a lot about girls,
This is the important fact I found:
I'm no proof
When people say you're more or less aloof,
But you're sensational.
I don't care
If you are called "The Fair Miss Frigid Air,"
'Cause you're sensational.
Making love is quite an art,
What you require is the proper squire
To fire your heart,
And if you say
That one fine day you'll let me come to call,
We'll have a ball,
'Cause you're sensational,
Sensational,
That's all, that's all, that's all.

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

obv the whole pamphlet was cribbed from rat pack manuscripts on things to say in between finishing the last of eight highballs and bagging a whore

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:12 (nineteen years ago)

Like the people these leaflets are secretly aimed at are ever going to read them.

― Shadow of the Waxwing (noodle vague), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

"You're the Tops, You're like Leonard Zelig...."

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

Who are they secretly aimed at? Cos they seem to be not so secretly aimed at internets jokes.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:16 (nineteen years ago)

"Remember that tank top you bought me? you wrote you're gorgeous on it"

― Sons Of The Redd Desert (Ken L), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

They'll be aimed at "socially excluded" fathers from "hard to reach" families, none of who use the word staggering in any other context than "home from the pub".

― Shadow of the Waxwing (noodle vague), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.worldstart.com/store/images/dexter-lab-science.jpg http://web.telia.com/~u52303751/bilder/traci102.jpg http://www.chemeng.unimelb.edu.au/people/staff/images/mike_connor.jpg

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:26 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.technology-in-education.co.uk/images/pic-noel_edmonds.jpg
"GORGEOUS FACE"

― teh_kit has 21 friends (g-kit), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

http://static.flickr.com/77/167153750_23ccad2dc0.jpg?v=0

― Bnad (Bnad), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

Advice like this is what makes ppl like this

And these differ from pictures of your wedding... how, exactly? You're skating on very thin ice with this sort of disdain! I'm sure they're perfectly nice people, if you get to know them. Just like you and TOMBOT.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

that's a staggering afro i mean achievement

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

wtf? losing more faith in humanity:

http://www.capital-club.com/gallery/sinatra05/Np6b0664.jpg

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 15:53 (nineteen years ago)

The Momus of human kindness.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

See, if people gave their babies more affirmative messages, psychedelia like that could be the norm. David Byrne would love it! Aren't "normal" people whacky?

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

go to hell pants!

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

ironic wearing of old lady pants is creepy.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 15:58 (nineteen years ago)

"Whacky?"

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

"Qwhirky."

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

"Edjie."

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

oh I like the last one!

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

"frooty" or perhaps "retarded".

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

Shoulda been "edjhi," actually! "Edjhi" = what happens when it becomes a true loan-word in Farsi ad agencies.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

"Adj. 1. whacky - pungent adjective of disesteem; "gave me a cockamamie reason for not going"; "wore a goofy hat"; "a silly idea"; "some wacky plan for selling more books". Synonyms: cockamamie, cockamamy, goofy, sappy, silly, wacky, zany, unreasonable."

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

I like that they don't even spell it that way in their example, though. Good dictionary you're working off of.

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

Let's not sweat it, Momus! I just enjoyed imagining it pronounced that way, sort of the way Hank Hill pronounces "what" more like "hwot."

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

Actually, I'm enjoing the synonym "unreasonable". I shall call Whacko Jacko "Unreasonable Jackson" from now on.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:18 (nineteen years ago)

... That doesn't rhyme.

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

Impracticable Jacticable?

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

Touché!

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:22 (nineteen years ago)

http://buy.overstock.com/images/products/muze/dvd/138054.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

those people live work & play here because they're queer to be part of society and be close to power.
Ally and I work and play here because this is where I have to make money while I finish my master's, and she's nice to me.
I never pop my collars and neither do any of my friends.
Fuck you, Momus, for comparing people like us to people like them.
Sorry I can't go about dressed like a pompous hipster douche all the time.

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:31 (nineteen years ago)

Those people really don't look like hipsters.

Judging by the number of young men with bow ties and well-bred-looking pointy-nosed girls, I was assuming it was some kind of Capitol Hill intern/attache party or young-conservative bash.

(P.S. I have no complaints whatsoever about pointy-nosed girls.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:39 (nineteen years ago)

pompous hipster douche

new, from massengill.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:40 (nineteen years ago)

nabisco, those ppl aren't meant to look like hipsters, you misread a badly worded rebuttal. That being said, I really thought it was self-evident that there was no rebuttal necessary. Momus in doing whatever it takes to be contrarian on a thread shocker, and the fact that he felt it was perfectly acceptable to randomly insult the fashion sense, morality, and behavior of about ten ILXors to do so kind of proves how little it was worth the reply. I'd be totally shocked to see a hipster in any of those pants, though. I'm still kind of shocked anyone besides 80 year old ladies in Boca is wearing those pants! They are...dare I say...sensational?

― Allyzay Rofflesbot (allyzay), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

I just wanted to say Fuck you Momus again

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

Is that so wrong

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

Isn't there a newsgroup for this sort of thing? I like a lot of the guy's music, but why does it seem like every 10th thread around here is about Momus? Momus's pants, Momus's essays, Momus's love life... Are we being beseiged by the Momusophants?

-- xwerxes (xerxesbuttle...) (webmail), March 13th, 2002 8:00 PM. (link)

wtf? we talk about timbaland and jay-z WAY more than momus. why you gotta hate?

-- chaki (chak...) (webmail), March 13th, 2002 8:00 PM. (link)

― lord pooperton (ex machina), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

[deleted]

― lord pooperton (ex machina), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

Ooh, Book Off, my favourite Japanese bookstore logo! That's an "affectionate punch"! Thanks, guys!

Just for the record, it's only an insult to compare you guys to "those guys" if you really hate them so very, very much. Well, apparently you do. But I'm just saying, why waste the emotional effort? Really? Hating them, hating me, hating hating hating?

I accept half of Ally's argument: that people would, perhaps, become more eccentric and narcissistic if they were indulged from the time they were babies. Naturally, being who I am, I don't think that would be a bad thing at all. I don't find those people self-evidently horrific, and I think it's very much a case of "He who thinks nobody could possibly cringe at photographs of him partying, go ahead and cast the first stone". We are all vulnerable here, not just pantywaisted Eurotrash pompous hipster douches.

And by the way, TOMBOT, you should update your blog. Three days is a long time in the blogosphere, and you've been telling us that for eight months, mate. At least tell the casual reader you got married and are living happily ever after.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 17:42 (nineteen years ago)

Right, I am a parent of two (you possibly know this), and I absolutely indulge their 'eccentricities' as they more often than not tell me something I either didn't know or hadn't thought of in that way.

e.g. I was telling Alice (then four) about babies being born via eggs within mummy, and that those eggs are there when mummy was born.

Alice: "So, that means that Amber and My eggs were exactly the same age"

Me: "Um, well... Yes!"

Also, that link, I wasn't sure what it was meant to mean. I thought someone had added that by mistake for some other website. Well, fnarr at some people having a good time indeed.

Anyway, back to the point: I'd certainly praise some insight, some special achievement, in them. It's called "Taking an interest" and it's a natural process.

Those two 'quotes' in the thread title are very poor 'compliments', but the whole thing about 'tell the dads how to' is sad. But I guess that's how it goes for most people.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 15 June 2006 09:50 (nineteen years ago)

Ahhhh - I love to think of Ally and Tombot sitting side by side next to their computers going "Are you gonna say something or am I?" - "No, you go first" - Mrs Trifle just shouts up the stairs "Are you still on the fckng internets looking at pron!?". Sigh.

― Ned T.Rifle (nedtrifle), Thursday, 15 June 2006 10:58 (nineteen years ago)

Grad School ate my ~~balls~~blog.
Is that all a roundabout way of saying you'd like me to blog more often?

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 15 June 2006 11:58 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, TOMBOT, I would. I find your blog fascinating. I'm making a longterm study of topics like "competence machismo", "peer dismissal" and "stressed testosterone".

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 15 June 2006 12:17 (nineteen years ago)

(I should add that "you're sensational" and I think your blog is "a staggering achievement", just so you don't take that the wrong way.)

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 15 June 2006 12:17 (nineteen years ago)

Hahahaha Ned!

Every time I look at the title of this thread I get a mental image of James Blunt singing it to "You're Beautiful". Ergo, fuck this thread.

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Thursday, 15 June 2006 12:19 (nineteen years ago)

Rub your penis against the screen? How DO you fuck a thread? :-(

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 15 June 2006 12:21 (nineteen years ago)

1. Take the thread somewhere special, like a really nice restaurant or for a meaningful walk through a scenic area.
2. Make the thread feel special. Compliment its length, its wittiness, its unexpected moments of insight and clarity. If possible, stroke its hair.
3. ALWAYS USE A SPAMBLOCKER

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Thursday, 15 June 2006 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

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