It's (not) my party and I'll cry if I want to...

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What's the worst party you've ever been invited to? Working in a law firm, I just got invited to the 'Ally McBall', in which we're expected to dress like characters from Ally McBeal and listen to someone singing and playing the piano like Vonda Shepherd. To me, this seems like hell on earth.

Can anyone better this?

― Paul Strange, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I can't top that but I did go to many frat parties in college that made me want to leave college immediately.

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sorry Paul you have actually been invited to the Worst Party Of All Time. I am beginning to think you are living in a particularly black sitcom.

― Tom, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Could not face last year's xmas party at work - "come as a character from a 'Carry On' film'. Er, no.

― Andrew L, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have to go with Tom there. Can't you just come as Robert Downey Jr. only out of character and on a drug rampage?

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think all office Xmas parties could apply (but Paul's would almost certainly win). Ours last year was in the Hippodrome, for God's sake, and as the company is about 80% female there was not much chance of a drunken snog.

― Emma, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

[...] Ours last year was in the Hippodrome, for God's sake, and as the company is about 80% female there was not much chance of a drunken snog.

Much to the chagrin of the remaining 20% hoping to catch some lusty girl-on-girl action in the raw, I suspect.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Am I a complete snob for not wanting to socialize with my colleagues? I have absolutely nothing in common with most of them, apart from my Five-a-side buddies. All the rest are either old and married, dull or annoying. Yet when I say this to some people they look at me as if I am the worst misanthrope in the world.

Obviously, because of this, I have never been to an office party.

― cabbage, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Character from a Carry On film = easy. There were loads of ppl in the modern ones in bum-around clothes eg. Bresslaw and Terry Scott in Camping.

Discussion I had on Goat Island: it is very very difficult to do a good Kenneth Williams impression. A lot of people think they can but nobody actually can.

― Tom, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Okay, Paul, I have no parties worse than that, I'm really really sorry.

The worst parties I've been invited to...well last weekend Otis took us to this party that was in the middle of the woods - no houses! anywhere! - and involved so-called hippies who were all angry and gave us shit when we wanted to leave, but didn't give us any alcohol either. Then they tried to ram Otis's car with their van. So we went to someone else's house and they wouldn't give up the alcohol either, so I sat around and watched people play mini-fucking-pool, badly.

Otherwise, it was the Rolling Stone christmas party. An entire room of people who couldn't dance, trying very hard to be hip, while the Worst Band Ever played on. And the drinks were watered down. I ditched it to go to a real estate party, that's how weak it was.

― Ally, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, and for the record, ALL of my office's parties are wicked good, so watch what you say. They're the absolute most fantastic, story- laden, excellent parties ever and they're always at swank locations like Tavern on the Green and the Ritz-Carlton, and we usually have 3 or 4 Christmas parties alone.

― Ally, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Are there any openings in your company? (ba da boom)

― Steven James, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Not only is the job rubbish, but the parties are crap too. I've never managed to make it to a work party, though I fear I haven't missed much. I still can't believe no-one has had a worse invite than the Ally McBall.

If lawyers get invited to parties based on 'Ally McBeal', do you think police officers get invited to parties based on 'Coprock'?

― Paul Strange, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, "LA Confidential."

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

When I was in high school, my parents would sometimes take off for the weekend, prompting me and my brother to throw insanely wild parties at which several hundred people from my high school and (all of their friends) were present. Those usually ended up with people puking all over the place and sleeping in every room, sex going on in every bed, and eventually a fight. I never really had fun at those parties, though. One night I got so drunk that I hid in a cubbyhole under the stairs so that no one would take advantage of me. Then the next morning I'd have to clean up all of the puke and beercans. r

― Kerry, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My work parteis are like work and avoiding them is like gettin g out of having to stay overtime.

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You seem to have really bad hippies in america. When I go to parties in the woods the hippies sell beer, and don't Ram anyone.

― Ed, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, these were the worst hippies I'd ever seen.

― Ally, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No comment. Don't even bother asking me if I'll be your date for that.

Up until last year, I had never been to an office Xmas party. I broke my streak for one freaking year, and it was the worst mistake I had ever made. It was an African themed nightmare in a huge marquee set up in Battersea Park. What a joke. I was drunk before I got there and ended up spending a good deal of the night drunk under a table.

― masonic boom, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is "Vonda" a real actual name from a real actual Old Country back somewhere, or is it short for something, or is it more like Tempestt Bledsoe, ie made-up to get on in showbiz?

― mark s, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Paul, you've got to use this opportunity to FREAK OUT YOUR COLLEAGUES. By which I mean dragging yourself up as Ling Woo (secondhand cheongsam dresses available at 261, the thriftie on Holloway Road; whip otional).

― suzy, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The 18th birthday party at a morgs house. No drinking no snogging and of course charades with all the dirty cards removed . ( 18 is the rite of passage age.)

― anthony, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mark: re Vonda, I think it's real. White trash nightmare-stylee real, there are much worse ones out there. I knew a family where the children were: Loydene (the girl, v. dim), Travis, Keith and Shane. AAAAAGGGH!

― suzy, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Weren't Keith and Shane in Boyzone? Does that mean Boyzone are White Trash?

― Emma, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think Paul should turn up wearing a face bra.

― Madchen, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was actually thinking of going as the Dancing Baby. Actually, no, I'm going to avoid this party with every fibre of my being, even if I have to use my patented 'Just popping to the bathroom and then running out the service entrance' method.

― Paul Strange, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You know they won't actually let you *go* to it. You just know that some super-important "this has to be finished by 7am tomorrow morning and we're all fucking off to the party so we're far too busy to do it" project will be dropped on your desk at about 5pm, meaning that you won't even have to come up with an excuse for non-attendance.

― masonic boom, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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