C/D: Holding a grudge

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Dud, except in cases of self-defense

― don weiner (don weiner), Monday, 26 June 2006 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

although I have no problem still holding a grudge against my now-dead high school football coach.

― don weiner (don weiner), Monday, 26 June 2006 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

"classic" is a bit of a difficult way to justify even the, ur, justifyable reasons for holding a grudge... but if so, it would have to be ok in the case of people who you've given many a chance to prove to be trustworthy and give you your due respect, and that person has failed you one too many times.

That's not really holding a grudge at that point, and more like "you're out of my life, yo... and stay there.", which is a bit different.

Otherwise, the colloquialism probably implies being angry over something not so substantial, in which case, it's a dud.

― San Diva Gyna (and a Masala DOsaNUT on the side) (donut), Monday, 26 June 2006 15:35 (nineteen years ago)

CLASSIC:
http://www.liunet.edu/cwis/cwp/library/sc/posters/web/Picture13.jpg

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 26 June 2006 15:36 (nineteen years ago)

If someone has seriously f*cked you over, and it seems entirely conceivable that they could do the same thing again, then holding a grudge isn't just classic, it's purely sensible.

― Custard Subsidence (kate), Monday, 26 June 2006 15:45 (nineteen years ago)

classic:

http://www.logan.com/loganberry/solved-stars-destination.jpg

dud:

http://www.webwombat.com.au/entertainment/movies/images/the-grudge-1.JPG

― autovac (autovac), Monday, 26 June 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

holding a grudge is shit: the person it's held against rarely or barely notices, while the grudge-holder is eaten away from within by simmering pestilent bile. forget it; move on.

― emsk ( emsk), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:22 (nineteen years ago)

I dunno about that. I'll admit to having some grudges and it's not like I'm sitting alone in my rented storage garage stewing about the past and running deranged revenge plots through my head.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

What emsk says, it's just a waste of energy and time. Move on.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

Who the heck thinks these things take time or energy?

It's more like a mental reminder "OK, that person f*cked me over, won't trust them again". To behave otherwise is hopelessly naive.

― Custard Subsidence (kate), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

I think that different people on this thread have pretty different definitions of the word "grudge," because I'm basically with the people who have posted that, if by grudge they mean just not dealing with X anymore after being fucked over, "grudges" are not only totally normal but it'd actually be wholly unhealthy not to have any. But I'm also with donut that "grudge" is kind of a weird, loaded word for that (it strikes me that, in those instances, calling that kind of thing a grudge is what the fucker, not the fuckee, would call it to belittle the problem instead of apologizing or making things better).

― Allyzay will never stop making pancakes (allyzay), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:40 (nineteen years ago)

I've never had a "grudge fuck" (i.e. fucking your ex-girlfriend's best friend because she dumped you) but I hear they are fairly awesome.

― don weiner (don weiner), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

I've had one. It's the best.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, if it isn't taking any time or energy, then it's not how i'd define a grudge. a grudge is something that - like the phrase - you hold on to, stoke up, almost nurture.

― emsk ( emsk), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

But you're still holding on to disliking/not trusting that person. The idea that it has to take time or energy is kind of amazing to me, I'd think of it more so much as when confronted with this person, you are bothered and/or avoidant. If it is something that you actually are stoking up and nuturing and focusing on constantly and not just when confronted with the person, I think the appropriate terminology is "obsession."

― Allyzay will never stop making pancakes (allyzay), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:23 (nineteen years ago)

I think grudge covers the wide ground between 'constantly' and 'when face with them'.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:45 (nineteen years ago)

TS: Nursing a grievance vs. cutting them dead.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

Grudge shmudge. Fudge.

― John E. Smoke (Uri Frendimein), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 15:53 (nineteen years ago)

It's easy to stop a simple grudge turning into an actual vendetta. If someone's truly fucked you over you don't want them in your social orbit, true, but there's no point going avoidant OR confrontational...or getting your hands dirty over some piece of shit.

I've only cut someone dead in public a few times, but it was highly effective and made the person in question look like a tool, which was exactly my intention. I have a few other forms of social cauterization at my disposal but those moves are trade secrets innit.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

There are a few people in this town who I wouldn't really mourn if they were hit by space junk. One of them I wrote a letter, basically "I hope someday you realize what a horrible person you are." Another one bought a burger joint I used to like to eat at; if we crave their burgers now, my wife goes and gets takeout. Beyond that, avoidance, very little conscious thought of them, no vendetta.

― I will commence to drop a knowledge bomb. (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 17:21 (nineteen years ago)

four years pass...

I used to think that I couldn't hold a grudge, but one of the surprise reveals of my adult life is it's actually a strong talent.

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 03:38 (fifteen years ago)

i'm still absolutely terrible at it. somehow i'd like to hold grudges. the second anyone reveals they're not a two dimensional horror i break down and away it goes.

― arby's, Tuesday, 21 December 2010 03:44 (fifteen years ago)

classic

― buzza, Tuesday, 21 December 2010 03:50 (fifteen years ago)

I read a quote recently about how the act of revenge will often leave you feeling inferior to the one against whom you've exacted the revenge; I think a grudge might work the same way.

On the one hand grudges are human and I guess unavoidable, but I'd try to keep them as small as possible by not dwelling on them.

― the distance between me and a sackful is gonna be like 0 inches (rip van wanko), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 03:51 (fifteen years ago)

Is Count of Monte Cristo worth reading?

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 03:52 (fifteen years ago)

I am by nature largely free from vengeful urges.
I am pretty lousy at forgetting, and forgetting, though!

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 03:53 (fifteen years ago)

I don't really feel too grudgeful since the suggest band button came along.

― THX THO... (Nicole), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 03:54 (fifteen years ago)

If only there was a real life one.

― THX THO... (Nicole), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 03:55 (fifteen years ago)

i'm still absolutely terrible at it. somehow i'd like to hold grudges. the second anyone reveals they're not a two dimensional horror i break down and away it goes.

― arby's, Monday, December 20, 2010 10:44 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Exactly. I'm really awful at it and think I'd be a lot better off if it were in my nature to be able to do this.

― ENBB, Tuesday, 21 December 2010 03:56 (fifteen years ago)

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