Taxi Drivers

Funniest: Taxi Driver in Ilxers beloved London this summer, Pakistani guy who first begins talking about cricket. "Cheating it's part of the game you know? if you don't cheat you are not a cricketer". Then the taxi goes past a gay couple and he begins to tell us how he drives home gay couples sometimes, sample quote "I don't hate the gays, but they.......they are fucking idiots man".

Then he tells a story about the last person who tried to rip him off, "I say to him, give me the fuckin money, or I will take your balls and crush them". and then he says to us "I would do it, I would crush his fucking balls".

Basically this guy was Borat from Ali G.

Funniest taxi driver experience was sitting into a taxi and a friend getting sick all over the guys hand and the gearstick before he'd even driven off. So we ran off and he chased us for a while, but we got away in the end. HOOLIGANS!

Another one that springs to mind is when I took Una home in a taxi after my debs around Christmas, and when she had got out and I'd said goodnight and all the taxi driver was like "what are you doing for New Years".

So I was like "Oh I don't know yet, we'll see"

And he goes "You do fuckin know, you'll be SHOOTIN YOUR LOAD ON HER IN THE TOILETS THATS WHAT, YEAH? YEAH? YEAH? WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE DONT DENY IT".

What could I say? "yes of course, hoohohohhoho yeah yeah what?, you know yourself, ho ho, yes, you're telling me?"

Biggest tip I've ever left.

Kinda scary!

Mr Taxi asked where I was going, and I said back to Ireland.

He said "I hear you guys pay an enormous amount of tax over there".

So I steeled myself to some kind of rant about not wanting the Government wasting his tax dollars.

Then he said "But I hear that's because you've got a really good social welfare system and public services and stuff like that. We could do with a bit more of that here."

I was amused.

Cab journeys to clubs or pubs with music blaring and a few friends squashed together drunk=classic.

Which makes this a pretty hilarious misunderstanding. Unless you knew that and were being sarcy Ned.

Ah, thank you, that makes more sense. I was rather wondering! And no, I would not joke over something like that.

a few weeks ago i saw a taxi making a left turn in an intersecting from the right lane, simply cruising dangerously across the cars lined up in the left lane along with the shocked drivers approach the intersecting from the other direction. it was probably the most audaciously bad driving i've seen from a cab, which is saying a lot. honestly i've long been appalled by how taxi drivers conduct their cars. i once got a cab in boston, and the driver proceeded to speed up to 30 mph above the speed limit, routinely passing cars by switching illegally into the oncoming lane. eventually i asked to be let out. the thing is, this was only a degree or two more alarming than many other things i've seen as a pedestrian, another driver, or a passenger.

your stories about cabbies driving badly here.

interSECTION.

sorry again for my horrible spelling.

I went to New York a couple of years back with my wife and her parents. It was purely a sightseeing and shopping trip so we ended up using a lot of Yellow cabs to get about and I always sat up front with the driver; on most trips this felt like being in a real-life version of Grand Theft Auto, with demented unsignalled lane changes, illegal turns, honking, cursing, the works. Reflection of my naive Britisher status, but it was srsly some of the most fun I had on that holiday.

Only other *really* bad cab driving I've experienced was in Marrakech - our hotel sent their driver to pick us up from the airport and his heavily dented 1960s Mercedes should have been indicative of his skills. At one point as he was weaving across six lanes of moving traffic he actually turned round to us and said "Like Playstation!".

I was once in a taxi in Lebanon, and the driver started yabbering away in Arab to my lovely girlfriend and me about the Virgin Mary medal he had in his car. We smiled politely. Then he sadly said "You no speak Arab?", and we had to agree.

But then in Beirut, on the way back to the airport, our rofflesome taxi driver there suggested that MLG should stay behind with him while I flew off home to Ireland.

South Africa, 1994 early spring, taxi driver had a shotgun across the top of the dashboard.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/13/nyregion/13sherpa.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=sherpa&st=cse

Somehow I really enjoyed this story in spite of the slightly wtf conceit of weaving in all the exoticism about nepal.

agreed

Was also sort of Cain-and-Abel-esque.

The Tyranny of the Taxi Medallions
http://blog.priceonomics.com/post/47636506327/the-tyranny-of-the-taxi-medallions

Worst racket ever. Indefensible.