Officious middle-aged dicks who manage health-food stores

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The weird cloud of hostility envelopes you as soon as you walk in the door. Why do store owners hire these guys? The female customers do NOT want to ask him where the stuff is for their pee-hole problem.

I'm not talking about the younger guys who are all wide-eyed in their enthusiasm over alternative cures. Those guys are fine—they're like honorary girls in that context.

Has anybody else ever had to leave a health-food store without finding what they came in for, simply because of the malignant vibe emanating from these guys?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 June 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

The female customers do NOT want to ask him where the stuff is for their pee-hole problem.

haha I don't even want to ask these guys where the BEANS are

― you can email me if you wish to challenge the truth (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

Bad example though, the beans are like 4 aisles.

― you can email me if you wish to challenge the truth (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

I had to leave two health food stores in a row this morning. Not looking for anything embarrassing, just flax-seed powder. But even so I was damned if I was going to ask. Each store made me feel like I'd stumbled into a private club.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:19 (nineteen years ago)

It's deliberate I think. Well, not the alienation part. But they want you to feel like you're part of an elite group of People Who Care.

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:23 (nineteen years ago)

where the beanz at?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

they're like honorary girls in that context.

hahaha

― kingfish du lac (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

there's a health-food store in brixton with a woman in there like this - i guess that makes her an honorary man or somethin - she's all gnarled up and sour-looking and never, ever smiles

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

whenever i go into a health food store, i always feel like they are starving the employees and i should smuggle in some cookies. the one i used to go to in philly was always filled with the most un-healthy looking people around. bags under their eyes. gaunt. pale. and they talked like zombies. i think they lived on tofu-pups and tortilla chips. eating healthy is really hard work apparently!

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:31 (nineteen years ago)

Being healthy makes you mean, proven by science.

― Allyzay will never stop making pancakes (allyzay), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

she's all gnarled up and sour-looking and never, ever smiles

All that colon-cleansing. She smiles with her asshole now.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:42 (nineteen years ago)

These types always sneer at whatever wine I'm buying, and then me, in that order. Either that or I'm buying parsley for my guinea pig and they think I am making up a ridiculous story as to why I come in every day to buy parsley. Why ask someone why they buy so much parsley and then scoff at the answer? Such BITTER men.

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:45 (nineteen years ago)

they (the health store people) remind me of the human skeletons i see jogging 40 miles a day. that look of utter misery on their face. why don't they ever get to that "runner's high" part! they look like they just escaped from the gulag.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

does anybody know what "that smell" is? every health food store i've ever been in has it.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

stale protein?

― kingfish du lac (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:52 (nineteen years ago)

The two health-food stores around here are run by 7th-day Adventists, so not open at all on Saturdays and staffed by smiling, Aunt Bea-like church ladies.

I'm always hit by the "B-vitamin/carob" smell - sorta like someone spilled a can of Tiger Milk powder.

― Jaq (Jaq), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:53 (nineteen years ago)

maybe it's the smell of self-discipline. i think it's quite similar to wheat germ.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

it's gotta be one of the reasons that places like whole foods have done so well. cuz people were afraid of the mom & pop health food stores. people were praying for a large conglomerate to save them from the one tired old organic onion and the leek in the back refrigerator at Saffron Flowerz.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 29 June 2006 15:59 (nineteen years ago)

Garlic priced by the handful.

― you can email me if you wish to challenge the truth (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 June 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

I shouldn't complain though, we have a fabulous health-food store here that is staffed by a plethora of shiny happy hippy girls, a seven foot Persian dude with a so so deep voice, one of the best drummers in town, and exactly one flaming homo.

― you can email me if you wish to challenge the truth (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 June 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

Abbott, you should grow your own parsley! It's great!

― Earwig oh! (Mark C), Thursday, 29 June 2006 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

Abbott, don't do it! It's a trap!

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Thursday, 29 June 2006 16:20 (nineteen years ago)

TS: health food store managers vs. indie record store clerks. you make the call!

― tobo (tobo), Thursday, 29 June 2006 16:22 (nineteen years ago)

the guys who run wholsum on dalston lane are a DREAM, i wuv them.

― emsk ( emsk), Thursday, 29 June 2006 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

That smell:

Results 1 - 100 of about 57,000 for ketosis smell. (0.32 seconds)

Their macrobiotic bodies digesting themselves?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 June 2006 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

bags under their eyes. gaunt. pale. and they talked like zombies.

This describes the sole employee at my local health food store. He looks like he should be hospitalized, and fast. I always marvel at the irony of it, little knowing that it was such a widespread phenomenon!

― Party Time Country Female (pullapartgirl), Thursday, 29 June 2006 19:35 (nineteen years ago)

The oldest health food store in Dublin's city centre is staffed by a genial, smiling gentleman who greets each customer as they enter the shop. And why wouldn't he? He's bloody well raking it in, the prices he charges.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 29 June 2006 19:55 (nineteen years ago)

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