"Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" by John Gray

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My only knowledge of this book really is as a pop culture punchline, you know, a signifier of general squaredom from a bygone era. So when a (nice, not very popcult savvy) friend of mine talked me up about it recently, my instant reaction was "ROFFLES"; little did I know she has just read it and finds it to be actually, y'know, insightful and helpful.

So, has anyone actually read this thing? Is it actively offensive, harmless enough or actually quite good despite the cringeworthy title? I had to look the author up on amazon and was flabbergasted to see that the thing was written in 1993! the way it got dismissed in the popcult refernces I've seen I'd have thought that it's from the 50's or something.

Talk about this book plz.

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 7 July 2006 17:54 (nineteen years ago)

I love to see this as Da Vinci Code. Please tell me I'm right. I mean, surely people really don't believe this dribble? As though we both live on seperate planets. Get real. So have I read it? No.

Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 7 July 2006 17:57 (nineteen years ago)

Actually I love to see this on the same level as: http://www.alaindebotton.com/

Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 7 July 2006 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

I have always refused to read this book, partly because the guy who wrote it seemed like a smarmy moron to me. When I worked at a bookstore, though, this book would always sell out for Valentine's Day.

The other book I think of when I think of this one is "The Rules" - you know, the one where if you're female you should basically play all kinds of weird mind games to catch a man. Blech!

Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Friday, 7 July 2006 18:01 (nineteen years ago)

When I worked at a bookstore, though, this book would always sell out for Valentine's Day.

I gave my husband A Lovers Discourse when I first met him. Oh the roffles that ensued.

Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 7 July 2006 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

Ha ha - I guess maybe some of those purchases were meant to be ironic, but at the time it didn't seem so. (However, thanks for the idea! We can always use more roffles...)

Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Friday, 7 July 2006 18:07 (nineteen years ago)

i heard that "dr." john gray has his credentials from a diploma mill.

grandfathered in (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 7 July 2006 18:09 (nineteen years ago)

Cult News has the rundown on scammer Gray...

The relationship guru who constantly promotes himself as “Dr. John Gray” and lists a “Ph.D.” has only one accredited degree, a high school diploma.

Previously CultNews.com reported that Gray’s doctorate is “worthless.” According to California’s attorney general a “diploma mill” that was later shut down issued it.

CultNews kept checking further and can now report that both of John Gray’s other purported degrees are also unaccredited and essentially worthless too.

Neither his BA nor his MA is from an accredited institution of higher education.

Gray received his undergraduate degrees from Maharishi European Research University in Seelisberg, Switzerland before returning to the United States in 1982, according to his posted bio at Brooks International.

Fsck Washing Ong's Hat (Chris Barrus), Friday, 7 July 2006 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

His PhD is also bogus...

It seems that well-known relationship gurus "Dr." John Gray and "Dr." Barbara De Angelis have bogus credentials reports Men News Daily.

Apparently the two both obtained their touted "doctorates" from a "diploma mill" shut down two years ago by the California state attorney general's office.

Gray and De Angelis received doctorates from Columbia Pacific University, which California officials described as a "diploma mill" that issued "totally worthless degrees."

Fsck Washing Ong's Hat (Chris Barrus), Friday, 7 July 2006 18:21 (nineteen years ago)

I wish I could get my degree from a diploma mill. :/

Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Friday, 7 July 2006 18:26 (nineteen years ago)

I have never been able to get past the completely idiotic tautology of the title.

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 7 July 2006 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

whenever I read the title, I hear it as spoken by Brittany-Murphy-as-Tai from Clueless. so it makes me happy.

horseshoe (horseshoe), Friday, 7 July 2006 18:36 (nineteen years ago)

I refused to read it too due to smarmy author and offensive title, however I've read a few excerpts in magazines and it is seriously OTM. Has provided me with both insight into myself and others. When I come across a random free copy I will gladly read the whole thing.

I'm guessing there's no point reading it if you are the sort of person who refuses to understand that generalisations and stereotypes are effective devices for describing and explaining things (and most ilx-ers seem to suffer from this disability), but if you are a bit more open minded then I reckon it's probably well worth a looky-see.

miele kitty (miele), Sunday, 9 July 2006 02:07 (nineteen years ago)

a bit more open-minded?

HAAAAAAAAAAAA!
he pushes the idea that something in (or lacking in) female's brains makes them crap at doing maths and interpreting maps/ navigating, iirc.
And he takes this to the conclusion that women should not partake in such things (should be housewives, pretty much).

This book was made all the more disturbing to me because when I had just "come out" (as lesbo) to my parents (shouldn't have bothered, but anyway) and was staying with them at aunty's place for xmas my aunty was getting my mum to read it and going on about how great it was. (It also says that gays have the brain of the other sex. I think!?)

spectra (spectra), Sunday, 9 July 2006 03:43 (nineteen years ago)

Good freaking lord. Maybe I should read it, just for laughs (problem with this: way too many other books seem more worthy of limited time).

However, I did have a friend in college who always joked that men could navigate with their penises (this was her explanation for the generalization that men will never stop and ask for directions). If lost, she would literally lean over to whatever male was in the care and command, "Use your penis, man!"

Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Sunday, 9 July 2006 03:47 (nineteen years ago)

something in (or lacking in) female's brains makes them crap at doing maths and interpreting maps/ navigating, iirc.

that's me, kinda, except i love interpreting maps. i don't have a very good sense of direction though. i can see the big picture but i can't do that turn-by-turn thing and always forget whether to go left or right.

grandfathered in (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 9 July 2006 03:54 (nineteen years ago)

left-brained people are from mars, right-brained people are from venus...

grandfathered in (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 9 July 2006 04:00 (nineteen years ago)

Generalizations and stereotypes are ineffective insofar as they're broad, allowing the reader to pick a side and see themselves represented in it.

We could all open up the paper tomorrow and have our horoscope sound right, but that doesn't make astrology a valuable tool for self-awareness.

milo z (mlp), Sunday, 9 July 2006 04:09 (nineteen years ago)

I disagree entirely. Horoscopes are a wonderful tool for self awareness. Their function, as for any other oracle type thing (i ching, divan, bible, random favourite book, etc), is to give you a different perspective from which to view the current events in your life, and therefore are valuable and effective tools for self-awareness.

miele kitty (miele), Monday, 10 July 2006 03:12 (nineteen years ago)

how is the title a tautology?

s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 10 July 2006 03:58 (nineteen years ago)

He's butched up a little since, but when I saw his infomercials back in the nineties, Gray's mousy voice, soft features, and frumpy body shape made me think (and hope) he might secretly be a female-to-male transsexual.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 10 July 2006 04:07 (nineteen years ago)

Ha, and I thought that was just part of his "sensitive New Age man" act. (Although I'm not sure that fits in with the text of the book...)

Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Monday, 10 July 2006 04:11 (nineteen years ago)


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