fuck, marry, kill

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dave matthews, david brenner, super dave osbourne.

― Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius (chaki), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 05:19 (eighteen years ago)

chaki, chaki, chaki

― Marmot 4-Tay: The root cause of dragon hatred among power metal bands. (marmotwo, Tuesday, 1 August 2006 05:23 (eighteen years ago)

dont fuck up my thread.

robin williams, dane cook, carlos mencia.

― Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius (chaki), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 05:24 (eighteen years ago)

Fuck: Dane Cook. Save pics for all the laydiez in love with him.
Marry: Robin Williams. Dude is richer, funnier, and older than others.
Kill: Carlos Mencia. This needs no explanation.

What about you, Chaki!

― ALLAH FROG (Mingus Dew), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 05:29 (eighteen years ago)

Fuck: Carlos Mencia
Marry: Robin "Popeye" Williams
Kill: Dane Cook

― Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius (chaki), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 05:31 (eighteen years ago)

momus, the rev. al sharpton, fred durst

― Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius (chaki), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 05:35 (eighteen years ago)

Fuck: Keanu Reeves - coz he's cute
Marry: Robert Downey Jr - coz he's mental = entertaining
Kill: Winona Ryder - coz she has an annoying way of speaking

― miele kitty (miele), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 05:36 (eighteen years ago)

Skullfuck: Momus!
Marry: Rev. Al Sharpton
Kill: Fred Durst

― ALLAH FROG (Mingus Dew), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 05:38 (eighteen years ago)

you have to select from the ones provided or else you die.

― Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius (chaki), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 05:40 (eighteen years ago)

too many rules.

― Marmot 4-Tay: The root cause of dragon hatred among power metal bands. (marmotwo, Tuesday, 1 August 2006 05:53 (eighteen years ago)

mrs. garret, alice from the brady bunch, rosie o'donnel

― Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius (chaki), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 07:26 (eighteen years ago)

can't i just fuck all three of them? let a man dream.

― GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 07:43 (eighteen years ago)

you're likely to fuck the one you marry too

and kill does not exclude some kind of murder+rape thing.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 11:33 (eighteen years ago)

no its only one

― Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius (chaki), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 16:05 (eighteen years ago)

fuck: brenner (actually I kinda don't really care that much one way or the other)
marry: super dave osbourne (or at least hire him as my surrogate)
kill: dave matthews (crash into this knifeblade motherfucker)

― the doaple gonger (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 16:10 (eighteen years ago)

Tori from Saved by the Bell season five, Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-IL), and I forfeit my killing option to the next person who posts (they can have two)

― ath (ath), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

ten months pass...

FUCK MARRY KILL:

KATE BUSH
MADONNA
JONI MITCHELL

― chaki, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:15 (seventeen years ago)

wrong

― elmo argonaut, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:16 (seventeen years ago)

Fuck Madonna, duh.
Marry Kate Bush.
Kill Joni Mitchell.

― kenan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:16 (seventeen years ago)

damn. i'd marry joni, fuck kate bush and kill madonna.

― chaki, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:17 (seventeen years ago)

I'd fuck Madonna circa 1983 maybe

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:18 (seventeen years ago)

While we're on chanteuses:

Tori Amos
Ani DiFranco
Liz Phair

― kenan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:19 (seventeen years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

― Surmounter, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:19 (seventeen years ago)

i think i'd kill myself instead of fucking or marrying any of those three.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:19 (seventeen years ago)

kenan is 60 years old

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:20 (seventeen years ago)

give us a hard one

fuck joni mitchell
mary kate bush
kill madonna

― Frogman Henry, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:20 (seventeen years ago)

because i'd fuck madonna? No wai, she still got it.

― kenan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:21 (seventeen years ago)

xpost

― kenan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:21 (seventeen years ago)

bea arthur
estelle getty
rue mclanahan

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:21 (seventeen years ago)

classic.

Fuck Rue McLanahan
Marry Bea Arthur
Kill Estelle Getty... again?

― kenan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:22 (seventeen years ago)

Fuck: Liz Phair. Of course. Are you kidding me.
Marry: Ani DiFranco. Person you'd get along with most, and if things didn't work out, most likely to have an interesting open marriage.
Kill: Tori Amos. Just because she doesn't fit into the other two categories. No sexual spark, too weird to marry :(. I'm not sure why we have to kill one but as long as those are the rules, you've got to follow the rules.

― humansuit, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:23 (seventeen years ago)

fuck estelle getty
fuck estelle getty
fuck estelle getty

― Frogman Henry, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:23 (seventeen years ago)

i would fuck all this golden girls

― wanko ergo sum, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:24 (seventeen years ago)

In Soviet Russia, Bea Arthur fucks you!

― HI DERE, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:26 (seventeen years ago)

pass the vodka first, plz

― kenan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:26 (seventeen years ago)

kenan is 60 years old

― Frogman Henry, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:27 (seventeen years ago)

Fuck: Veronica Lake
Marry: Myrna Loy
Kill: Vivien Leigh

― Rock Hardy, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:31 (seventeen years ago)

waht

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:37 (seventeen years ago)

Sara Silverman
Ellen Degeneres
Carlos Mencia

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:50 (seventeen years ago)

keekekekekee

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:51 (seventeen years ago)

FUCK: SNAP
MARRY: CRACKLE
KILL: POP

― 404 Error: Page Not Found, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:52 (seventeen years ago)

Ross
Hendricks
Lambert

― Jordan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 19:54 (seventeen years ago)

Fuck: Veronica Lake
Marry: Myrna Loy
Kill: Vivien Leigh

Ella Raines
Hedy Lamarr
Vivien Leigh

― Elvis Telecom, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 20:19 (seventeen years ago)

i thought you were supposed to name 3 things, then people were supposed to categorize them AFTER, making you make terribly painful and hard decisions like killing someone amazing or fucking someone gross or marrying someone awful. people are just naming their own sets of three! it's no fun that way! did i learn this game wrong?

― Will M., Tuesday, 5 June 2007 20:21 (seventeen years ago)

no, it's just impossible to play online.

― kenan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 20:24 (seventeen years ago)

Online version:
Wank while imagining fucking
Wank while imagining marrying
Wank while imagining killing

― Rock Hardy, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 20:27 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.oliveoyls.com/store/media/movie-htmyw.jpg

― kenan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 20:29 (seventeen years ago)

here's another easy one

JW
Jess Harvell
Dr Morbs

― chaki, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 20:34 (seventeen years ago)

I think I'd marrry Morbs, to be honest. At least you'd have a quiet, reliable home life.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 20:36 (seventeen years ago)

...aaaas soon as you moved out from under the family-with-children upstairs from him.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 20:36 (seventeen years ago)

Skipping 37 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

you might be surprised at curtis's answer

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 25 January 2009 00:07 (sixteen years ago)

i wasn't though

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 25 January 2009 00:07 (sixteen years ago)

ok so what did happen to chikev

― the gush of yesterday (omar little), Sunday, 25 January 2009 00:08 (sixteen years ago)

i texted him a picture of a sloth and he never posted again, i swear to god

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 25 January 2009 00:11 (sixteen years ago)

he got embroiled in a game of fuck marry kill that was taken too literally

― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Sunday, 25 January 2009 00:11 (sixteen years ago)

hahaha yeah i think i'd quit the internet too if i drunkenly posted my phone number on a message board

― jordy (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 25 January 2009 00:11 (sixteen years ago)

although it is quite possible that he lives in the basement of some dingy punk club and doesn't have the internet anymore

― jordy (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 25 January 2009 00:12 (sixteen years ago)

i waited two weeks and then mailed him the sloth

lol

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 25 January 2009 00:17 (sixteen years ago)

wait that sounds like i mailed him a sloth 2 weeks after texting him a picture of it, thats not what i mean

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 25 January 2009 00:18 (sixteen years ago)

if somebody mailed me a sloth I would stop posting to the internet too

― Edward III, Sunday, 25 January 2009 03:01 (sixteen years ago)

sloth, sloth, sloth

― Edward III, Sunday, 25 January 2009 03:01 (sixteen years ago)

fuck sloth marry sloth kill sloth

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 25 January 2009 03:06 (sixteen years ago)

imo

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 25 January 2009 03:06 (sixteen years ago)

turning the game into a to-do list

― Edward III, Sunday, 25 January 2009 03:07 (sixteen years ago)

gsd

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 25 January 2009 03:11 (sixteen years ago)

now stands for getting sloth done

― Edward III, Sunday, 25 January 2009 03:12 (sixteen years ago)

aka ilx

― Edward III, Sunday, 25 January 2009 03:12 (sixteen years ago)

This is the first revived Chaki thread that hasn't made me miss him.

― If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Sunday, 25 January 2009 08:22 (sixteen years ago)

hey dude:

chaki cutty max

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 25 January 2009 08:23 (sixteen years ago)

one year passes...

Marry, fuck, kill...

Betsy Ross, Chyna from WWE, Webigail from Ducktales...GO!

― Sherman Helmsley Teabag (Cattle Grind), Wednesday, 5 May 2010 22:10 (fifteen years ago)

jesus!

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Wednesday, 5 May 2010 22:20 (fifteen years ago)

^ reaction to Cattle G - not an answer to the question.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Wednesday, 5 May 2010 22:20 (fifteen years ago)

fourteen years pass...

Fuck, marry, kill: leaders of your country

Fuck Chrétien, no question
Marry Joe Clark
Kill John A

― three sad trombones in a trench coat (flamboyant goon tie included), Saturday, 25 January 2025 07:19 (four months ago)

(mackenzie king cries)

― mookieproof, Saturday, 25 January 2025 07:27 (four months ago)

two months pass...

Fuck: Pinochet (Stalin obv runner-up)
Marry: Grandpa Assad (you know the food would be good)
Kill: Leopold II

― neu! romancer (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 17:50 (one month ago)

For US presidents, leaving out the "cheating" choices (Obama, JFK), it's:

Fuck: Teddy
Marry: Truman (or Jimmy Carter, frankly)
The Other Choice: Reagan

― neu! romancer (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 17:51 (one month ago)

what is you evidence that obama cheated on michelle??!

― budo jeru, Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:00 (one month ago)

young stalin was indeed a hunk

― budo jeru, Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:00 (one month ago)

My friend's submission (for dictators) was very well thought out and I was impressed:

Fuck: Tito
Marry: Metternich
Kill: Ante Pavelic

― neu! romancer (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:05 (one month ago)

what is you evidence that obama cheated on michelle??!

not sure if you're joking but fgti I think was stating that JFK and Obama are the super duper obvious Fuck and Marry category winners, so much so that it's like cheating.

― octobeard, Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:08 (one month ago)

Honestly I'd fuck Teddy before JFK or Obama anyway

― neu! romancer (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:12 (one month ago)

Roosevelt?

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:18 (one month ago)

Or the Kennedy?

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:19 (one month ago)

Roosevelt obv, yikes

― neu! romancer (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:22 (one month ago)

I have a book about Teddy rowing through the headwaters of the Amazon with his son, post-presidency, leeches, diptheria, all that shit

I can't even Trump looking for his golf ball in the ivy

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:26 (one month ago)

'imagine'

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:26 (one month ago)

Metternich wasn't a dictator tbf

― Please play Lou Reed's irritating guitar sounds (Tom D.), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:29 (one month ago)

If Teddy's big game hunting, gentlemanly boxing, rough-riding, "sing ho for the strenuous life" propensities extended to how he conducted sex I sure as hell wouldn't want to be on the receiving end.

― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 18:34 (one month ago)

Honestly I'd fuck Teddy before JFK or Obama anyway

But he had such a weird voice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhlzdjPGxrs

― Crack's Addition (Boring, Maryland), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 19:11 (one month ago)

Metternich wasn't a dictator tbf

I stated this also and suggested he consider marrying Hoxha instead

― neu! romancer (flamboyant goon tie included), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 19:14 (one month ago)

roosevelt either had a big stick or was overcompensating big time

james a. garfield or ulysses s grant would do in a pinch imo

― glum mum (map), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 19:19 (one month ago)

Hoxha was a shut-in

― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 8 April 2025 19:20 (one month ago)

ulysses: fuck
garfield: marry
(you know who): kill

― glum mum (map), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 19:20 (one month ago)

But he had such a weird voice

They all sounded English in those days.

― Please play Lou Reed's irritating guitar sounds (Tom D.), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 19:57 (one month ago)

old time WASP is closer to english than it is now maybe? still pretty different though.

― five six seven, eight nine ten, begin (map), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 20:12 (one month ago)

If you think Teddy's accent was weird, try McKinley.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6ZUneyU7Vo

― Please play Lou Reed's irritating guitar sounds (Tom D.), Tuesday, 8 April 2025 20:53 (one month ago)

give me Zachary Taylor hubba hubba

― brimstead, Wednesday, 9 April 2025 00:19 (one month ago)

I mean you could say “I fucked a Whig” but idk the other baggage isn’t all that appealing

― neu! romancer (flamboyant goon tie included), Wednesday, 9 April 2025 02:40 (one month ago)

yeah he just seems like the absolute least dapper us president, i could be wrong

― brimstead, Wednesday, 9 April 2025 02:42 (one month ago)

Franklin Pierce was an alcoholic and probably functionally illiterate, we had a bunch of real winners before Lincoln

― Crack's Addition (Boring, Maryland), Wednesday, 9 April 2025 02:53 (one month ago)

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