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Why Do Women Do This At Parties?

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I am SO SICK of this happening to me!

Woman latches onto guy (let's call him Guy A) - or maybe they latch onto each other, who can tell. Either way, they seem to hit it off. They spend a few hours in each other's company, and things seem to be progressing.

Then, for some inexplicable reason, the woman excuses herself to get a drink or something - then latches onto somebody else, freezes out Guy A, and leaves the party twenty minutes later - with Guy B!!!

As you probably gather, I have been Guy A too many times! In all of these situations, I am reasonably sure that Guy B was unknown to the woman - sometimes because Guy B was one of the 'friends' I went to the party with in the first place, and I'm SURE he didn't know her either!

Do women just pick somebody to pass the 'boring' early part of the evening with, then decide on somebody else at the last minute? OK, I'm not perfect, but if I'm dropping clanging deal-breakers then surely they would excuse themselves earlier and let me move on to somebody else, instead of stringing me along for three hours!

Sorry for the rant, but this happened to me again on the weekend, everyone noticed and I was completely humiliated!

― frozen out (Mr Happy), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:41 (nineteen years ago)

Guy B is better looking, more interesting, funnier and less drunk than you. Deal with it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:45 (nineteen years ago)

Unbeknownst to you Guy B said he had a Guy C waiting outside and they were up for the threeway.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:46 (nineteen years ago)

They were furious when she went off with Girl D after all that.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:49 (nineteen years ago)

i think its more that guy a doesnt know when to shoot, its all very well, creative passing in midfield, but guy b knows where the net is.

ie, its all very well being steven gerrard, but collins john scored more goals last season, and he only came on with twenty minutes to go as well

― -- (688), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:50 (nineteen years ago)

Guy A and Guy B?

Kid A and Plan B, more like.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:50 (nineteen years ago)

Alternatively, may be she liked you enough to talk to you, but didn't actually fancy her.

Or maybe it was part of her EVIL PLAN to humiliate you in front of all your friends.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:51 (nineteen years ago)

Steven Gerrard DID score more goals than Collins John, but he played far more games. You have to get stuck in. Guy A is probably Jon Stead or someone.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

steven gerrard scored 10 league goals last season
collins john scored 11 league goals last season

― -- (688), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:54 (nineteen years ago)

Guy B knows his business, unlike Mr Chatterbox.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:55 (nineteen years ago)

Gareth, the key word is LEAGUE. That's the problem. Guy A isn't prolific enough to be playing in more competitions.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

To be fair I don't think Guy A could've prepared himself any better for the super-sub blatantly offside late winner. What rotten luck.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

Although if it's happening several times, questions must be asked in the dressing room.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:57 (nineteen years ago)

What with the board's quickening descent into sub-Kilroy territory, you never did need tales of my sex life on ILE did you, Matt? ;-)

Jon Stead got one goal. Guy A is clearly Lee Hughes, 02-03 vintage, and look how HE wound up.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:57 (nineteen years ago)

lol @ football-talk thread mutation.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:57 (nineteen years ago)

The moral of this story is, if you do nothing other than hang around the goal you're bound to be caught offside.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:58 (nineteen years ago)

showing up late to a party, when everyone is well trashed, is one of the oldest tricks in the book. works 95% of the time. wise up, kid.

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 17 August 2006 10:59 (nineteen years ago)

But Guy A clearly did all the running into the area. He just got tackled before finishing by a better, luckier player.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 17 August 2006 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

Guy B = Clive Allen

― i am teh_kit! (g-kit), Thursday, 17 August 2006 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

-- -- is GARETH? Argh.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 17 August 2006 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

the key word is LEAGUE

leagues all that counts, dude, thats where the hot girls are. you can keep your sherpa van goals

― -- (688), Thursday, 17 August 2006 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

Guy B = Clive Thomas, blowing the final whistle seconds before Guy A could ram home the win, and then walking off the pitch with the ball under his arm.

This makes Guy A = Brazil, mind, but hey, even they lose sometimes.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Thursday, 17 August 2006 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

If you're not getting anywhere near the box, maybe the gaffer should just pull you off.

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 17 August 2006 11:08 (nineteen years ago)

leagues all that counts, dude, thats where the hot girls are. you can keep your sherpa van goals

Hah. Like to see you try and pull on a freezing November evening in Ukraine.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 17 August 2006 11:33 (nineteen years ago)

I think, in the original scenario, I've been both Guy A and Guy B, as well as Girl A. I don't think there's any logic to it, except that when the evening progresses and you get drunk, you might be more prone to making impulsive decisions. Also, you might think Guy A is really nice, but not ideal for a one-night stand, which is what your drunken mind is suddenly looking after. However, in my experience it's still more common to latch to someone for the evening and end up having sex with her.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:11 (nineteen years ago)

Perhaps she was so drunk by that time that she thought Guy A=Guy B. Are you extremely generic, Mr. Happy? Perhaps a large false nose would do the trick.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:16 (nineteen years ago)

ile is making my head hurt today

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:17 (nineteen years ago)

All this Guy A and Guy B stuff makes it sound like you were at a police identity parade instead of a party.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:37 (nineteen years ago)

"Guy A....no that's too obvious, let's call him G Armstrong"

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

It makes me think of Guy Burgess

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/f/f5/250px-Guy_burgess.jpg

― Dadaismus (a rattly old puffin who remembers ILX in the days when...) (Dada), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:39 (nineteen years ago)

So Guy B is Donald Maclean?

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

I think, in the original scenario, I've been both Guy A and Guy B, as well as Girl A.

roffle

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:49 (nineteen years ago)

Guy A is Donald McLean, and Girl A is actually Boy B

― Dadaismus (a rattly old puffin who remembers ILX in the days when...) (Dada), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

I think, in the original scenario, I've been both Guy A and Guy B, as well as Girl A.

Don't flatter yourself...

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:52 (nineteen years ago)

I think this is pretty clear - 20 minutes is all it takes, and you took more than 6 times that long. So, there's your problem. Or maybe, while she probably didn't find you repulsive or anything, she knew from the beginning that you probably didn't interest her enough, but you were comfortable to talk to while she scoped out the rest of the room (finding guy B long before you did), and who knows maybe you'd prove her wrong. But people often want more than comfort, and after 2 hrs, it was enough already.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

So the moral of the story is after 20 min, grab a boob?

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 August 2006 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

I also have a theory that it's just always better not to be Guy A, no matter how good looking or interesting you are. 2-3 hours is too long to talk to someone at a first meet. I think at that point it just becomes awkward/less interesting and the interest dies, hence she latches onto someone else.

If you like someone, talk to them for a little while, then find a way to excuse yourself but say that you'd like to talk to her more later.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:01 (nineteen years ago)

The longer you play with your prey the greater their chance of escape. Make like Jeff.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:01 (nineteen years ago)

So the moral of the story is after 20 min, grab a boob?

I read that as "after 20 min, grab a book?"

― Dadaismus (a rattly old puffin who remembers ILX in the days when...) (Dada), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

the moral of the story is after 30 min, allude obliquely to the possibility of ditching the place, or go and talk to someone else (xpost)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

http://files.dmusic.com/music/h/a/halfdeaf/soooooo.jpg

― the doaple gonger (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:04 (nineteen years ago)

Guy B (not pictured)

― Dadaismus (a rattly old puffin who remembers ILX in the days when...) (Dada), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:06 (nineteen years ago)

Guy B is the dude taking the photo. Girl B looks a better catch than Girl A, amazingly enough.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

Has he wet himself??

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:08 (nineteen years ago)

"will they notish my sekshwee?"

― Scourage (Haberdager), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:09 (nineteen years ago)

moral of the story is after 30 min, allude obliquely to the possibility of ditching the place, or go and talk to someone else

That's what I said! Pretty much.

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

No, you said to go for the boob honkage after 20 minutes.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

Oblique allusion to follow approx. 10 minutes after boob honkage?

― Dadaismus (a rattly old puffin who remembers ILX in the days when...) (Dada), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:12 (nineteen years ago)

Oblique allusion to follow approx. 10 minutes after receiving slap for the boob honkage.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

.. Depending on time interval between honkage and slap.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

Slap dependent on preliminaries to boob honkage surely?

― Dadaismus (a rattly old puffin who remembers ILX in the days when...) (Dada), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

please stop saying 'honkage'

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

some of us are too repressed for honkage

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

"prongage"

― Scourage (Haberdager), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

l-r Guy A, Guy B, Guy B's other head, Girl

http://www.sadgeezer.com/hhg/b3.jpg http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1325000/images/_1326657_hitch.150.jpg

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

gabbneb thinks im repressed

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

Onimo wins.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

no, i was referring to myself.

(xpost - that is NOT trillian)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

onimo otm. ford prefect = guy ?

― Scourage (Haberdager), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.suvinteriors.org/images/tp/tp1008.jpg

― Dadaismus (a rattly old puffin who remembers ILX in the days when...) (Dada), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

You know, in retrospect this early My Life Story cover image from 1994 or so rather predicted the future:

http://eil.com/newgallery/My-Life-Story-Girl-A-Girl-B-Boy-82580.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

See I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9,
Maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time.
That blue top shop top you've got on IS nice,
Bit too much fake tan though - but yeah you score high.

But theres just one little thing thats really really,
Really really annoying me about you you see,
Yeah yeah like i said you are really fit
But my gosh don't you just know it

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though i would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it

So when i looked at you standing there with your hoard,
I was waiting in the queue looking at the board
Wondering whether to have a Burger or chips
Or what the shrapnel in my back pocket could afford
When i noticed out the corner of my eye
Looking toward my direction
Your eyes locked on my course
I couldnt concentrate on what i wanted to order,
Which lost me my place in the queue i waited for YEAH

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though i would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it

Whoa! Leave it out
Are you smoking crack or something?
Leave it Out
Mike just leave it just leave it
We cannot have that behaviour in this establishment
S'not worth it mike, just leave it
Dont Touch Me, S'not Worth It
Dont Touch Me, D, Look I'm Alright Dont Touch me

For a while there i was thinkin - yeah but what if?
Picturin' myself pullin with bare white hot wit
Snarin you as you were standing there opposite
Whether or not you knew it i swear you didn't tick
And when that bloke in the white behind us lot queuing
Was clockin onto you too yeah i had to admit
That yeah yeah you are fit,
And yeah i do want it,
But i stop sharkin' a minute to get chips and drinks

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though i would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it

Oy, just as you started to make your big advance
With the milkshake and that little doughnut in hand
I was like nah, I can’t even though you look grand
But you look sharp there smilin hard suggesting and
Gleaming away with your hearty hearty lookin tan
But i admit the next bit was spanner to my plan
You walked towards my path but you just brushed right past
And into the arms of that fucking white shirted man

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though i would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it

Oh what do i give a fuck i've got a girlfriend anyway
(whoa, we've all had a drink mate)
We're all a bit drunk, yeah we've had a few fair play
I got this stella i bombed from that last cafe
This nights not even begun, yes yes oh yay

I did fancy you a bit though yeah i must say
I would rather i hadnt mugged myself on display
But this is just another case of female stop and play
On otherwise a total result of a holiday

I'm not trying to pull you
Even though i would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh dont you know it

Ha ha ha

You’re fit you’re fit but you know it

You’re fit but you know it

I think I’m goin to fall over
I think I’m goin to fall
Fuckin hell

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

You need to do that song in a top hat and tails.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:27 (nineteen years ago)

No.

(xpost - Yes.)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:28 (nineteen years ago)

(I was hoping this thread was going to be about the ping-pong ball trick.)

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

you need to ask why?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

I see what your parties are like.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

Can I get an invite?

― Dadaismus (a rattly old puffin who remembers ILX in the days when...) (Dada), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

Only if you've got ping-pong balls.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

I got some bats

― Dadaismus (a rattly old puffin who remembers ILX in the days when...) (Dada), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.cdquest.com/images/album_art/sorted/0016/9981/0016998107126.jpg

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

"So why is the theme of this party 'Ping Pong Balls in the Tearoom'?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

Christ, you'd have to wear a crash helmet if all the girls were firing out ping-pong balls.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 August 2006 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

Now this makes me wonder about YOUR parties!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 August 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

"Mom, it's just a birthday party."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 August 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

"pass the absinthe, priscilla"

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 17 August 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

"Now blow out the candles!"

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 August 2006 14:01 (nineteen years ago)

They do it with billiard balls, clearly.

xpost: This is very similar to a Blue Jam sketch, creepily so, in fact

― Scourage (Haberdager), Thursday, 17 August 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

onimo otm. ford prefect = guy ?

Ford Prefect = guy who has just drunk everything everyone else has brought with them.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 17 August 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

"Shit your leg off!"

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 August 2006 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

T(Guy B)/T(Guy A)=Girl(Guy B)

http://static.flickr.com/84/217720015_d98ff5068d_m.jpg

― Fluffy Bear is bigger and bolder and rougher and tougher (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rai, Thursday, 17 August 2006 17:18 (nineteen years ago)

I think my cynical answer to the question would be that people get more superficial and horny when they get more drunk. The best conversationist isn't usually the hottest individual in the party, because hot people don't need to be good talkers. So if Girl A is just wanting to score, bye-bye to Guy A.

Then again, I've had one-night stands too, and I really don't have anything to charm anyone with except my gift of gab.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 17 August 2006 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

Apparently sometimes you can charm them with your vagina? (ie those occasional times when you are Girl A)

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 August 2006 17:57 (nineteen years ago)

However, in my experience it's still more common to latch to someone for the evening and end up having sex with her.

Then again, I've had one-night stands too, and I really don't have anything to charm anyone with except my gift of gab.

Toumas - really, I take it on trust that you've had sex - possibly even more than once.

No need to emphasise it in every post.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Thursday, 17 August 2006 18:00 (nineteen years ago)

Dear me! What a charming vagina you have, miss!

x-post

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 17 August 2006 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

"Introduce me to Gladstone!"

― Scourage (Haberdager), Thursday, 17 August 2006 18:08 (nineteen years ago)

My favourite trick at parties is to walk straight up to Mister Monkey and say "there you are" in an exasperated voice, as though I've been looking for him for ages, when in fact I have not.

Also I make a mean white russian, though that's really more of a skill than a trick.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 17 August 2006 19:14 (nineteen years ago)

Woman realises that Guy A is no good in the box, so goes with Guy B who's more likely to shoot.l

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 17 August 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

When was Guy A actually planning to make his move? Or was he hoping that if he hung around long enough Girl A would make a move on him?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 17 August 2006 19:31 (nineteen years ago)

Guy A, the trick is, when you leech, er, latch onto Girl A at the get-go, place yourself within speaking distance of both the bar and the restroom, that way she can NEVER ESCAPE, and Guy B has to steal some other Guy A's pull-target.

― captain reverend gandalf jesus (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 August 2006 19:41 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.nuklearpower.com/images/hunter1.gif

http://www.nuklearpower.com/images/hunter2.gif

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 18 August 2006 07:47 (nineteen years ago)

I'm almost positive I posted to this thread before. What happened?

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 20 August 2006 02:31 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

Bosko Balaban Stats For Season
Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0
Avg Booking Minutes When Starting 0.0

― and what, Sunday, 19 October 2008 21:40 (seventeen years ago)

Guy A and Guy B?

Kid A and Plan B, more like.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Thursday, August 17, 2006 11:50 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest

hahaha

― caek, Sunday, 19 October 2008 21:43 (seventeen years ago)


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