things i've been called

we laughed and laughed (and didn't look at all like politicians, as we ourselves were longhaired teenaged freaks).

If you don't make this your official name or your ILX handle or something, I am going to be extremely mad.

Bugs
Fuzzy Butt
Athie

-- captain reverend gandalf jesus (crucial.bonu...), August 17th, 2006. (later)

SUPERGENIUS

??????

Google-Eyes (random chick who thought she was my friend but was, in fact my freckled enemy)
da-da (my five year old is growing younger!)
hamburger-butt (also my five year old)
Supreme Leader (nickname I gave myself in jr. high)
Supreme (short for Supreme Leader)
Scarecrow (played the Scarecrow in Wizard of Oz in fourth grade)
Mistake (mom)

and Son, Duck, Love, Mate, Pal, My Lover, Chuck, Big Man and all those other things that strangers call you.

and lots of insults I have blanked from my memory.

In descending order, mostly.

Geddit, cuz Scott used to have long hair?

one time my freshman year of college this kid i knew from the ol internet programming scene decided to call my room. my roommate answered. interdude asked for me by my online name. my roommate asked him if this was "the fucking matrix"

my online name had nothign to do with the matrix

yet somehow my roommate knew it had to be computer related

Goddamn, I hate that. Some stranger seeing William on a piece of paper and calling me Bill (or worse, hearing me say William and assuming Bill is okay) is immediate NO SALE.

Ahah. I was kind of hoping interdude's interdude name was "The Fucking Matrix."

I don't think anyone has called me by an online name offline, excepting a) Tep (which was an offline name first) or b) Nathan Adler when I used that after Outside came out, because a lot of people didn't know the album and thought it was my real name.

Goddamn, I hate that. Some stranger seeing William on a piece of paper and calling me Bill (or worse, hearing me say William and assuming Bill is okay) is immediate NO SALE.

I should just refer them to you, and vice versa! "Oh, you want William/Bill? Here, let me get you his contact information..."

Somehow it's not like with Mitch/Mitchell, let's say, because there's a change of consonant. I've had professors and substitute teachers say stuff like, "William, what did you think?" and had no idea they meant me; they thought I was being all obstinate.

Cute but crazy bartender. Entirely made up, that I know of. I have no idea what inspired it.

It's a deal! You're going to get an awful lot of insurance offers...

This is the key. I mean, I know people who list everything as Matthew but have everyone call them Matt, but they'd never introduce themselves as Matthew. ... that's the whole point of introducing yourself!

It's a deal! You're going to get an awful lot of insurance offers...

Well, you're gonna get a perplexing amount of offers from Stuff Magazine, so, even steven.

01282 459384
0209 8732471
0049 128723847
01943 603662
01943 362839
07777 520264
0115 2314461
0208 4372833

Am I misunderstanding this thread slightly?

Because you resemble Billy Connolly?

Bunface (by the headmaster of my prep school, who could never remember my name)

Meaty Chunks (by an ex-boyfriend; it was apparently to do with me being his "Lassie", and Lassie Meaty Chunks coincidentally also being the name of a tinned dog food. I don't think he meant it nastily as he was a very nice guy, but ..... hmm ... )

The Bloke has several terms of endearment for me, but usually just calls me 'sweetheart", except whenever he writes it down in a letter or a card to me, he always accidentally mis-spells it and writes "sweatheart" which isn't nearly so nice :(

Mizz C[phonetic massacre of my last name]
Miss, Miss
white bitch
fuckin' bitch
gothic
bootleg
racist
lesbian
bisexual
vegetarian
(those last two actually went together when told to one of my vice-principals)

kids. so sweet.

forgot these:

scooterpoops
dan
stan

Donkey Kong

Witz-titz
Little-Witz
Wussman
Butterball
Swan
Sisbro
Trippenstein

Oh god and one of my sister's boyfriends in high school called me Sean-ald.
Ex-girlfriend's housemate called me Sean-nessy.
Both make me see red.

All through high school.... Lucas.
All through college and a bit after... Corey Feldman.

Shaz
Shazza
Shazzy
Razz
Shax
Shags
Shaggy
Shasta Daisy
Spenny
Shpenny
Moneypenny
Linda Day
Saffy
Chucky
Petal
Mint
Buttface
Dragonears

Steve
Steven
Stevie
Stevie D
Baby Doles
Baby D-bags
Fag
Girl
Boy
Guy
Dude
Duder
Bro
Broseph
Brosephus

Ryan
Ry (my boss does this and I hate it; is that extra syllable really such a chore?)
Boss (New Jersey, mmmyup)
Ron (Southern callers tend to do this, I don't know why)
Rani/Rajesh (?)/etc (from callers unable to accept that a company of less than a dozen people doesn't have its own call center in India)
HEY FAGGOT (see "teenagers in cars" above)
Miss/young lady/etc (finally slowing down now that I have to shave more than once a week, but it still happens- after I passed out in December the first thing I heard coming to was "is she okay?" Extra fun when people get offended, like I'm trying to trick them or something.)
You

my name - Heruy

ages 7-11 Professor nickname

move to States
no-one can say my name so get...

Hair-way
Her-o-why
Heroin (8th grade math teacher. my section was given the honor of being accused by the principal of giving him a nervous breakdown - we took pride in that)

College on - H

other things i've been called

Spanish and French variations on H (ache, asch, how do you transliterate em? actually)
H-ness
your H-ness

"when i first met you i thought you were an arrogant, materialistic, east coast snob"

"has anyone ever told you that you look like a cross between a handsome sammy davis jr and robert de niro in angel heart?"

"you look just like giancarlo esposito" (that was after walking out of bob roberts)

(Note, i agree with none of the above three comments)

other things been called
faggot
nigger

Scooter
Scotty
Scotty Bowman
Scotty Blackfield
Bloomberg
Spider
Gabby
Clark
professor
boss
bud
fag
dick
dickweed
James
Mr. Book
Myonga
Monty
MVB
sir

billy bob

bawbag
poofter
miss
the dude

i got called 'big hoos' once

shaz
shazza
shazzamataz
shags
shagger
shaggy
shasta daisy
shpenny
spenny
penny
moneypenny
moneybags
penny for your thoughts

beavis

butthead

shasta daisy?

it's a type of flower irl - my mum calls me it :)

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leucanthemum_×_superbum

superbum?!

MOVE ON

cannot

I was called O-Face for approx. 10 years before I knew wtf they were referring to

aw

Doug
Dougie
Doug E. Fresh
Holmes
Homeboy
Homecheese
Homeslice
SpinDoctors

Alice In Chains
Narc
Dave
Bull
Henry

Oh, this is interesting. I started a list but it got too long, so I erased it.

it's somewhat comforting that everyone gets called faggot at some point. i always felt like i was being singled out.

i told my kids recently that i never really liked it that they called me by my first name. they thought i was nuts. they went to western mass schools where all the kids called their teachers and their parents by their first names and it always made me wince when their friends called me Scott. it was involuntary! i just never got used to it but i went along with it. i finally had to confess. i guess i just have some weird old-fashioned stuff from when i grew up. the idea of any of my friends calling my dad by his first name would have been unthinkable. i mean, after i got to a certain age i started calling my dad by his name but it was later in life. i told my kids i would really like it if they called me anything fatherly. i told them that they are the only two people on earth who CAN call me anything fatherly. it didn't have to be dad. any language would do. cyrus now calls me Bobbo sometimes. but they still think i'm a freak. kinda like whenever we go to a restaurant and i repeatedly tell cyrus to take his hat off at the table and he looks at me like i am from some other planet. it is weird what we hang on to.

feeling this post

i also kinda missed the days of "dadda" when they were little.

I always called my parents by their first names, I think it was kind of a hippie egalitarian thing. But my kids don't. I'm not sure I care much one way or the other. But the part I really feel is how certain ways of getting brought up get encrusted into you, whether you want to or not.. Like swearing. I swear all the time! But not in front of my kids. And my kids swear like SAILORS. Which infuriates me. But... why? Other stuff... rocking back in their chairs at the dinner table. I did this all the time as a kid. I think this is just something kids have done since time immemorial. And since time immemorial, lame old dads like me get all bent out of shape about it

neither one of my parents swore. like, at all. my mother would get upset even if we said that something sucked. and anything stronger than that REALLY upset her. i can remember my sister listening to the fish cheer on the woodstock soundtrack and my mother running into her room and ripping the record off the turntable and throwing it down the stairs! and yet she didn't have a religious bone in her body. she must have just gotten it from HER parents. but i never really cared about swearing with the kids around or if they did it. they mostly don't though. i think i swear the most in the house. my kids are strangely polite given who their father is.