emailing people when you werent given their address but got them from the CC part of a friends email - C or D

wwldd?

I remember when I was young, we had to actually ask for someone's number and call them and talk to them... Imagine that! ;)

7 Don't nick an attractive stranger's email address from a group email

This is what Dobbie did and look where it got him. There is nothing scarier than an email that starts off, 'You don't know me but ...' As a one-time sender (note to self: when really pretty boys don't chat you up at a party, it's because they don't fancy you) and one-time recipient ('We were at university together but I never plucked up the courage to talk to you ... I was the one who dressed in army fatigues. Do you like war games?'), it's a lose-lose for all concerned.

the observer said invading iraq was a good idea so i'm hardly likely to take their advice.

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Trust me on this one. Don't do it.

ESPECIALLY don't do it if you just want to add them to your spam email list for your band, your club, your whateveritisyou'repromoting. If I'd wanted to know, I'd have signed up for a mailing list.

I had to shut down an email account because it got clogged by sodding PRs and the like who got my email off someone who CC:d instead of BCC:d

if you had gone to school, like everyone else, im sure this subtle difference would not have passed you by

"ugh, he didnt ask"

"weird, wonder how he got it?"

either way, im not supremely bothered, just thought it might not hurt to try and see what happens. but i dont wanna do the cold-call version of emailing and for it to be awkward. i dont wanna look like THAT guy.

When I was a bit younger I emailed a young lady who'd half-heartedly scrawled her address into my address-book, after a week's summer camp we'd been on. It was one of the most embarrassing episodes of my entire life. We're good friends now. :)

i don't think it was the same person

re: the TT 'saga' (ahem), just in case i look like a total saddo, i did actually get asked out on friday night by my masseur (the normal kind, not the kind that give you 'extras' but i already had plans and plus, there was something a little nuts about her.

sadly j*m o*rawrke never really answered my qs. teehee.

there are too many stages in this process.

Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you too
There is one way to ask her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl

Now's your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until you kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You want to kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Float along
And listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
Sha la la la la
The music play
Do what the music say
You got to kiss the girl
You've got to kiss the girl
You wanna kiss the girl
You've gotta kiss the girl
Go on and kiss the girl

But did you want more?

Problems of the 21st century. Someone I'm pretty friendly with who I occassionally run into has a thing for me, I think, but we've never had any like ... chat time, since we're always rushing around. Is it weird to send them an email from a bulk email you're on with them, despite not formally asking for it? I mean, I've had people search me on Facebook and add me for no reason. Is this different?

nah, not gonna do it.

Good lord, how did you people ever use a phone book?

I mean, look, if you know someone and they don't appear to hate you, you are totally allowed to email them -- it's a form of written communication, it's not like showing up in their closet in the middle of the night. At the absolute worst all you have to do is say "oh, I just realized your email was already in my book from something else," and that's only if you think the person on the other end is seriously going to think you're some kind of stalker freak for getting your hands on an email address that's already floating all around the universe and people's inboxes already. Geez.

Seriously, there was a time in the past where you could look in this big-ass book and just take someone's phone number out of it and call them! Like a whole book that everyone had!

If you have, like, no good reason for emailing them, and you email them awkwardly and freak them out and seem totally weird about it, then THAT is a problem, but that is not a problem with getting their email off a CC list, that is a problem of you making a social stumble.

oh god that last LJ post! those things need a warning seriously

Yeah this whole thread is baffling. "Get my email address from my friend" is code for PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME, because wtf, you'd just give them your phone number otherwise, jesus.

burt_stanton u think too much

Trayce is baffling me now.

If you know someone and have their personal, non-anonymous, non-work email address in your box and have a legitimate non-creepy reason to write to them, you can very politely write to them once! If they are creeped out by this, it will not be because they don't know how you got their address -- it will be because they find you or your desire to speak with them or the content of your email creepy in itself. (Which is fair.) I find it very hard to imagine that you could write to someone you know and say "oh, hi, sorry to bother you, I saw your email here and wanted to ask you about XYZ legitimate topic of conversation" and their main reaction would be "HOW DID YOU GET THIS ADDRESS." It's an email address, they're everywhere. Just don't spam them or send a 30-page email or start writing every three hours asking what they're doing.

yeah that'd be fine but if you're just trying to hit on them, then...no, use other ways

OK yeah, I may have confused matters, I wasnt at all implying that emailing someone out of the blue is creepy or inappropriate!

But: if you're talking to someone you just met, and you ask them for their email address, and - instead of just writing it down - they say "get it off my friend" (I mean, wtf?) then to me that screams "look Im brushing you off, sorry". Its not getting the email addy, its that weird side step that I was focussing on.

yeah, I know. People I meet contact me unsolicited all the time and I'm basically glad to hear from them; I can't imagine it'd be any different the other way. The purpose of the email is to see if the person wants to see a show over the weekend.

I mean, this person brought themselves to my attention when I had previously been unaware of their existence by approaching me in a park in the neighborhood we both live in. So I mean, whatever.

I'm still ludditey enough to be annoyed by people inviting me to things using Facebook and the like. Can people not send invitations or use the phone any more?

this is why we never hang out

i always feel comfortable emailing people who approach me in parks

Seriously, there was a time in the past where you could look in this big-ass book and just take someone's phone number out of it and call them! Like a whole book that everyone had!

This feels so fucking weird and antiquated now!

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gays are dangerous and this video is not ridiculous! u sound like a gay with that talk. why are u defending gay behavior? i think you are a gay and thats why u dont like this video cause it shines light onto the dangers out there which take away ur advantages.

instead of just writing it down - they say "get it off my friend" (I mean, wtf?) then to me that screams "look Im brushing you off, sorry".

Huh. Maybe I'm dense, but this would've have occurred to me.

In fact, someone used that line on me quite recently, except it wasn't a flirtatious situation or anything. Just a friend-of-a-friend I met in a bar who seemed cool and wanted to go see the Mountain Goats with me and my girlfriend. No one had a pen and paper on them, so it made sense for him to say, "Oh, just get my e-mail from Jeff."

yeah that'd be fine but if you're just trying to hit on them, then...no, use other ways

I agree that it'd be ineffective and possibly creepy to send people you don't particularly know emails saying stuff like "oh hey, how you doing," but I'd like to think some adults have sorted out how to do the intermediate step here, of manufacturing a legitimate reason to want to talk to someone that may or may not lead to, like, knowing them better. This might not work, and the recipient might wind up thinking of you as some random weirdo who emails now and then, but it's not flat-out inappropriate, I don't think.

if you're talking to someone you just met, and you ask them for their email address, and - instead of just writing it down - they say "get it off my friend" (I mean, wtf?) then to me that screams "look Im brushing you off, sorry"

This would be true if they continued to stand right next to you talking about cheese for five minutes, but sometimes someone is, say, running to catch up with friends, or grabbing a cab or whatever (or just doesn't have a pen handy!) and it makes perfect sense -- I know I've told people to just find my address on certain websites. In any case, even if it is a brush-off, it's not one where anyone can be annoyed that you wrote to them. They said to get their address from X, you did exactly that! If, after reading your message, they still don't want to talk to you, they don't have to, and nothing has changed; or maybe they'll brush you off in a different way; but nothing was wrong with writing, either way.

Can people not send invitations or use the phone any more?

i don't even know what you're talking about

like, evites?

I've got Dave Eggers's e-mail address from a cc, but I haven't had a creepy or non-creepy reason to write him yet.

is his email "deggers"

recently there was a girl at work i thought was cute, and because i didn't want to hit on her at work or over work e-mail i added her on facebook. a little creepy maybe, but i'm glad i did because it was like "oh, she's dating this other dude at work, nevermind".

tophsbr✧✧✧@hotm✧✧✧.c✧✧

that said tophsbro97, at hotmail

It wasn't that funny

I tried to e-mail a link to the Joe Kinnear interview the other month (the one which starts off 'You're a cunt' and continues in a similar vein) to my friend, but gmail auto-completed the address box with someone else's e-mail address. Someone else who I didn't know and had never met and had no idea who they were or what my connection was with them, but presumably someone who had once been on the same mailing list as me. This someone was a member of the Metropolitan Police. I found it quite difficult to explain.

To clarify my point one more time for the dense, I am speaking within the context of chatting someone up, and asking for their email address - and instead of being told it/writing it down, fobbing off the query entirely with a non-answer. I've done it and had it done to me which is why I can see it happening that way.

Rushing past a business associate during lunch, and needing their email and not having a pen, is a completely different issue and irrelevant to the bulk of what this thread was about, or so I would have thought anyway.

Umm Trayce you have considered that someone might be chatting up someone who is rushing during lunch, or chatting someone up in a pen-less environment, right?

Also please note that in the thread's first post, she asks for his business card, then, when he doesn't have one, says "never mind, just get my address from so-and-so."

It wouldnt be that hard to tell someone your phone number, but more to the point, my initial comment wasnt a be-all and end-all hardline IT MEANS THIS AND NOWT ELSE, but I can see you enjoy trying to make me look like a moron so please, I'll bow out now.

Dude, I'm not trying to make you look like anything -- I'm calmly explaining what I meant so you don't call me "dense" again. Good fucking lord.

I never cc people who don't know each other on the same email just in case one of them ends up stalking and murdering the other. I just wouldn't be able to live with the guilt.

nabs: sorry, I apologise that was just a kneejerk because youve picked on a few things Ive said lately and I felt a little cornered. It doesnt matter.

It's all cool!

So hey, whats your email address?

*flees*.

hahaha

learn bcc

I'm still ludditey enough to be annoyed by people inviting me to things using Facebook and the like. Can people not send invitations or use the phone any more?

― Trayce, Thursday, 13 November 2008 22:59 (Yesterday)

More people actually come if you send individual invitations, even by email.

Its the personal touch. Also, there are plenty of ppl like me who have a facebook and/or myspaz/livejornal but rarely look at them, so will easily miss any bulk invites sent out.

i find that facebook works better than email blasts for invites but i guess individually sent emails work better than both. of course, invidivually sent facebook messages serve the same purpose so its all kinda well duh

who have a...livejornal

lol you post to LJ heaps more than anyone i know

Hahah I knew someone would say that - I meant people generally not just me - its the Facebook I never use/post to/look at.

oic

You never want to see your Facebook again.

no way oh year nick off

Haw!

yeah nabisco I dunno I think you're not taking into account various situations people might have - more than once, somebody's group emailed me and within five minutes I get an email from somebody else in the group with the "you don't know me but." I am actually very very easy to get ahold of! but there is something creepy about the "oh hot damn, there's that one dude's address, gotta write to him immediately and ask him for a favor"

but OTOH there's worse fucking problems to have so I don't complain about it - it seems a very minor breach of etiquette is all

The girl I'm seeing right now found and added me on facebook kinda out of nowhere after we first met. There was no "let's get in touch" talk or anything. Didn't bother me, but had she not been such a close, long standing friend of my roommate's, and had the attraction not been mutual, I could have been very put off. There's something I'm not sure I can put my finger on that's more subversive and totally creepers about opting for the internet in a situation like that. On top of which it's just really unromantic, which I think is kinda key more than anything. Then again she's six or seven years younger than me, so maybe I'm just out of touch with this new internets generation.

Well, and also she lives in St. Paul and I'm an hour and a half south in Mankato, so y'know...with both of us too bashful to prompt a phone# exchange before we parted, what else is there but keyboard courage...

but there is something creepy about the "oh hot damn, there's that one dude's address, gotta write to him immediately and ask him for a favor"

I'm sure this is genuinely annoying to you, but I think this thread is by and large assuming that the person you're e-mailing is not in the Pitchfork 500.

also thats not what nabisco is talking about anyway

its one thing to email a dude who youve never met before cause you saw his email address; its something totally different to email someone who you know and have met before and have (or can make up) a legitimate reason for emailing them