What's the deal with people who think their voting choices are a super secret, personal issue?

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So, I met this friend's new girlfriend last night. Making conversation with her, she told me she was a political science major in college and is now working on her MA in something else political-related that I can't remember. So, to make conversation, I asked her who she voted for in the last election, "Bush, Kerry, or someone else?"

Her response: "Um. It depends on how I feel at the time."

[awkward pause, weird looks]

"I think I voted, um, for the other guy."

What the hell? My initial response was to think that she knew absolutely nothing about politics and didn't vote at all, but not wanting to look like an idiot she came up with that bizarre answer while in the spotlight. I don't believe that someone with her background though could have possibly not even remembered the names of who ran in the last election. That makes me think she's one of those people: the ones who will tell you anything about their sex life, but think that who they decide to vote for is something super private that shouldn't be talked about.

What's the deal with those people?

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Monday, 21 August 2006 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

This was funnier as a Chappelle routine five years ago.

― milo z (mlp), Monday, 21 August 2006 16:56 (nineteen years ago)

they don't want to tell you everything you ask them?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 21 August 2006 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

maybe she didn't vote but didn't want to explain. i don't think there's anything wrong with not voting (i used to think so).

― nazi bikini (harbl), Monday, 21 August 2006 16:58 (nineteen years ago)

Chappelle did a skit about that?

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:00 (nineteen years ago)

slutsky, if there's one thing people like to talk about more than anything else, it's themselves. have you never read ilx before?

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

maybe b/c it really ISN'T any of yer business?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:03 (nineteen years ago)

yeah it kind of isn't, sort of a weird question to ask someone upon first meeting them

― nazi bikini (harbl), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

have you never read ilx before?

no, he only posts about himself. never reads it.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

what's weird about asking someone who they voted for when they start off the conversation with their background in politics?

god, i hope you guys actually have conversations off of the internet sometimes.

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

my dad is like this. when i was a kid he would come on election day and i would ask "who did you vote for?" and he would wag his finger at me and say "SECRET BALLOT!"

― ryan (ryan), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:07 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry, all my conversations are about the Internet, I'm afraid.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:07 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe she thought you were too dense to have a political conversation with? I can totally understand why someone doing grad-level work wouldn't want to talk about it with some schlub in a bar.

― milo z (mlp), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

yes, that could have been it (even though it wasn't in a bar).

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe she thought you were too dense to have a political conversation with? I can totally understand why someone doing grad-level work wouldn't want to talk about it with some schlub in a bar.

100% OTM. i have done this IRL myself (despite the fact that i wear my political allegiences on my sleeve) -- PRECISELY so that i don't have to talk about politics with some random moron.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

maybe you or i don't care about telling people who we voted for but did you know some people get berated for saying they voted for bush? she probably hates poor people and abortions so she voted for him but was trying to keep things pleasant.

― nazi bikini (harbl), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

What I would like to know is what's the deal with these people who want to know "what's the deal with" other people? I mean, what's up with that? Don't they know how lame that sounds?

― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

my dad used to tell me all the time after election day "don't tell any of your friends who i voted for" but i did anyway

― nazi bikini (harbl), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

Umm, my guess would be that she voted for a candidate she was fairly sure you were going to give her a whole bunch of shit about voting for, and she didn't want to have that conversation with you.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:11 (nineteen years ago)

(I mean, nobody wants to have to explain about their LaRouche write-in every single time, you know.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

political divisions definitely are strong right now, but I feel sorry for the sensitive flowers who are too timid to face someone disagreeing with them over a voting choice

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:13 (nineteen years ago)

you say that until you're the sensitive flower who gets jumped on by smug liberals who hate you

― nazi bikini (harbl), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:13 (nineteen years ago)

it's not about being a "sensitive flower," it's about not wanting to waste yer time!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

You see, she ph3eared your withering sarcasm.

― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

I'm getting bored with how many times I read threads and think "Nabisco OTM". Be *wrong* more often please and give the rest of us a chance.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

'the cult of OTM'

'the dangerous narcotic OTM'

'Is there no escape from OTM?'

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

unpopular vote vs. thinking Mickey's a moron - I'd say it's 50/50.

I've shirked political talk for both reasons, occasionally at the same time.

― milo z (mlp), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

you poor man. i hope some day you'll learn how to interact off of the internet.

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:19 (nineteen years ago)

In which Mickey loses an argument.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:22 (nineteen years ago)

you say that until you're the sensitive flower who gets jumped on by smug liberals who hate you
-- nazi bikini (caitx...) (webmail), August 21st, 2006. (harbl)

I live in North Carolina. it's the opposite here.

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:22 (nineteen years ago)

i usually skip classes one week out of the year out of fear for my physical safety, should i run into the annual affirmative action bake sale and be confronted by a republican selling cookies :(

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:23 (nineteen years ago)

You are so not a real person.

― Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:26 (nineteen years ago)

you say that until you're the sensitive flower who gets jumped on by smug liberals who hate you
-- nazi bikini (caitx...) (webmail), August 21st, 2006. (harbl)

poor republicans, under ruthless assault by people who look like this guy:

http://photos-923.ak.facebook.com/ip005/v19/235/0/36910174/n36910174_30649923_5078.jpg

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

weakest troll ever

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:30 (nineteen years ago)

*not responding*

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

Er, you just did?

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:32 (nineteen years ago)

to be fair, living in the bible belt is a whole 'nother bag of manure when it comes to this issue

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

i think this conversation happened in a bar

― mentalismé (sanskrit), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

*token response*

― Scourage (Haberdager), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

i actually have no experience with smug liberals who hate me and did not vote for bush :(

― nazi bikini (harbl), Monday, 21 August 2006 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

maybe, mickey, you didn't understand her response because you don't know anyone who's been a victim of political violence.

― hippo eats dwarlf (lfam), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 01:25 (nineteen years ago)

AKA THERE IS A REASON WE HAVE A SECRET BALLOT SO STFU

― hippo eats dwarlf (lfam), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 01:25 (nineteen years ago)

sorry sorry, you don't have to shut up

― hippo eats dwarlf (lfam), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 01:25 (nineteen years ago)

I think hippo is right... I reckon some people see the secret ballot as a really fundamental keystone of democracy and therefore don't really want to undermine that by spouting all about what they wrote on their secret ballot paper. And I reckon that's an OK personal choice for someone to make too. Especially if she didn't even know you!

― gem (trisk), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 02:03 (nineteen years ago)

if anything, it seems to me to be a little judgmental on your part to make all those assumptions about why she didn't want to tell you....

― gem (trisk), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 02:05 (nineteen years ago)

A guy at work mentioned once that he would consider running for office one day, so I said "oh, for which party?" and he acted like I had asked him something incredibly personal.

In Ireland if you ask someone engaged with politics who they voted for last time, you are making a big mistake, as they will explain in minute detail how they allocated every preference.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 08:36 (nineteen years ago)

isnt the whole point of living in a 'free' country that you can vote for whomever you want to and you can shout it from the hilltops without discriminatory consequence? yeah, i know its not the case in practice, but if this is the theory that living free is based upon, then why a secret ballot? i dont get it. i think if you vote republican (or for whoever is unpopular at the time and place) you should tell everyone. if they argue with you, fine. if they treat you like youre stupid or a horrible person then clearly they're the ones with the problem. (btw, id bet money on the majority of overly-pc drones doing the latter.)

anyway, no more sensitive flowers!

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 12:48 (nineteen years ago)

yeah not liking republicans is 'overly pc'.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 12:49 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, it is

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

snt the whole point of living in a 'free' country that you can vote for whomever you want to

yes, and have the freedom to not tell it if you don't want to!

Geez, it's like religion folks. would you be offended if someone didn't want to discuss their religious beliefs with you?

mind your own freaking business!

― Handmaiden of Hip Hop (Molly Jones), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

yes, and have the freedom to not tell it if you don't want to!

yeah, i agree with this, it would just be nice if keeping it to yourself wasnt out of concern that someone is going to treat you badly.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

Life pre-secret ballot was pretty rough for democracy. You have the freedom to yell whatever you like about whoever you feel like voting for from a wide variety of montains - but you also have the right not to be intimidated at the polls and that is essentially the idea behind it.
But what you described does sound a little odd. Were you holding a club or a taser or a taser-club when talking to this woman??

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

i don't like having to defend/explain my views so I generally don't like disclosing them. To some people "debate" is fun but not me.

― Handmaiden of Hip Hop (Molly Jones), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

like handwringinging

― mentalismé (sanskrit), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 17:40 (nineteen years ago)

I live in a red state where people don't want to disclose that they're Democrats for fear of reprisal from the boss. I can't believe that this has to be explained to someone.

― doctor the record (edslanders), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

Just because you're a political science major doesn't mean you have well-defined political stances. If anything, it's a course of study that's going to confuse your stance on a lot of politics. Ever met any religion majors and asked them what their religion was? You end up with "I don't know, agnostic or something, I guess" part of the time. She could also want to keep up a social pretense of impartiality so that her analysis of issues comes off as even-handed.

― mike h. (mike h.), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 18:16 (nineteen years ago)

nobody has to tell you shit about anything.

― M@tt He1geson: Real Name, No Gimmicks (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 18:21 (nineteen years ago)

it does rather defeat the object of a secret ballot to tell the world about yr choice

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

nice to see mickey make the transistion from whittaker chambers to roy cohn!

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

next stop - nixon!

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

I live in a red state where people don't want to disclose that they're Democrats for fear of reprisal from the boss.

Ever consider telling your boss that you don't care?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

ever been fired?

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:12 (nineteen years ago)

No it doesn't. The secret ballot (or political privacy in a broad sense) protects individuals from reprisals and sectarian violence. If you have neither to fear (or fear neither, ie civil rights workers), then announce away.

― milo z (mlp), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:14 (nineteen years ago)

that was an xp to DG.

re: reprisals from The Boss - that also works on a broader scale. Subs I work with and real-estate developers I work for and yuppie homeowners I have to be nice to and so on generally have worldviews (political, religious, social) far, far away from mine. There is nothing to be gained on my end by potentially offending them, or thinking less of them for something stupid they might say in a political discussion, or simply having that disagreement hang in the air. I'll play the nice apolitical slacker if it means paying my damn bills and not being a pariah.

― milo z (mlp), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

ever been fired?

Working for someone who thinks my political views and his/hers should automatically align is not my idea of a good time.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:18 (nineteen years ago)

Since when did work have anything to do with a good time?

― milo z (mlp), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:19 (nineteen years ago)

bret michaels to thread

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:20 (nineteen years ago)

Blount's first job = dude at the start of the video in the kitchen.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

i don't tell people how i vote to avoid the usual tedious "well you have no right to complain" gibberish

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

I don't tell people how I vote because it's none of their bloody business. And unless someone is voting for the Br1t1sh n4ti0n4l P4rty or something, I don't really care back. But I realise some people do, so I don't give them the chance to pre-judge me.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

If you have neither to fear (or fear neither, ie civil rights workers), then announce away.

Well yeah, but I guess the point at the end of all this is: if you and almost everyone else are happily declaring who you voted for then it puts suspicion on those who choose to remain silent ("What have they got to hide?" "Won't tell me who they vote for - ha! must be a Tory!). So if you're in the kind of milieu where voting a certain way would lead to ostracism or persectution, then it's thin end of the wedge to start shouting about how you voted for the "right" candidate.

Of course, so long as there remains an secret actual voting process, then all this can be got around by just lying about who you voted for, but you should be forced into lying.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:35 (nineteen years ago)

I do think there's at least something to be said for wanting people to be open about their politics. Not that the world would be improved by a lot of half-baked bar-counter political discussions (which, I agree, is probably what this girl is afraid of), but surely there's enough at stake in voting that it's a pretty significant part of who you are? That is, for example, if you vote for conservative Christian Republicans, you presumably share their stance on abortion. That's a big big deal, for a lot of people anyway. Again, probably not something you feel like getting into in a bar. But shouldn't you? It's important, right? You want things to change, right? You're not ashamed of your positions, right?

I think part of the objection is the lame copout of "It depends on how I feel at the time" - this makes you sound like you're deeply unqualified to vote, and that you should refrain from doing so until you care even remotely enough to have opinions. It's not like he's asking about her favorite candy bar or some other consequence-free ILX type question, after all.

(This is all kind of devil's advocacy, of course; I sure don't want to have these conversations all the time, but...)

― Doctor Casino (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:40 (nineteen years ago)

I live in a red state where people don't want to disclose that they're Democrats for fear of reprisal from the boss. I can't believe that this has to be explained to someone.
-- doctor the record (helpful19...) (webmail), Today 1:47 PM. (edslanders) (later)

well, this is what im trying to say (yeah, poorly) why is secrecy the accepted solution to this kind of situation? maybe it should be more along the lines of its discrimination for this guy to fire me for my political beliefs. i cant believe this has to be explained blah blah blah. i might be missing something but i get an overwhelming 'fuck you' feelin' when it comes to people feeling like they have to hide what they believe in / who they are (doesnt apply to those who just choose to keep it to themselves OBV).

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 20:27 (nineteen years ago)

perhaps because not everyone wants to live in a live-action version of the home truths thread

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 20:29 (nineteen years ago)

ok. fear is fun.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 20:33 (nineteen years ago)

I just try not to bring up religion, politics, or sex too blatantly around the office in general. You can cross the line among friends and at a bar, but get ready for fights. I think this is part of one of my cranky old man rants about how people really don't have any tact these days.

― mike h. (mike h.), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 20:49 (nineteen years ago)

fear is fun, so is avoiding stupid industrial tribunals when you could just ignore the boss and get on with yr job cos ultimately yr great rebellion wouldn't matter that much but the lack of pay might mean you can't pay the rent snd all for what some watercooler chat?

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 20:52 (nineteen years ago)

right, but its not always your boss and its still an accepted form of discrimination and i dont know why thats ok with everyone, surely it irks someone else a little bit? and im starting to get really embarrassed that i would get involved in an ile conversation that doesnt involve mischa barton.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

no the point is

it's legit not to tell -> the boss is an ass -> it's OK to keep schtum esp as what's really being argued as a triumph is probably people hollering YEAH WELL BUSH LOOKS LIKE A CHIMP!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH WELL HILARY MURDERS BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at each other

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 21:08 (nineteen years ago)

nah. thats not it.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 21:11 (nineteen years ago)

murderinging = B Mikes?

― marcos lopez (mucho), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 22:40 (nineteen years ago)

who the hell is b mikes?

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 00:50 (nineteen years ago)

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