I do all kinds of things. I've fermented Dr Pepper. I'm not even going to get into that one. I have no idea how you could possibly hit 80 proof in a couple days, though, without jacking it (see below), and even then it's not going to be a couple days.
Ole Chickenhead, which got me into trouble in high school: can of Minute Maid orange juice concentrate, equal amount of sugar, 1 packet yeast, in a Gatorade container in your locker for a few weeks. It tastes like something called Chickenhead, so move the fuck on.
Lemon shandy (not the other meaning of shandy, this meaning):
Pour boiling water over a bunch of lemons. If waxed, scrub the wax off. Let sit until cool. Slice thin, or even dice -- though you don't need to worry about them being marmalade-thin.
Alternate layers of lemons and sugar in a large container -- classically ceramic or glass, obviously -- and pour a cup of boiling water over them. Let sit in a warm place -- back of the stove -- for a week or two. After three days it should be fizzpopping pretty audibly if you lean an ear in.
You can keep this going -- pour some off as you like, replenish with sugar and lemons and the occasional hit of boiling water -- or strain it. It'll continue to ferment, and you'll want to open whatever container it's in every couple days, to let off the built-up carbonation. Whatever you put it in, don't fill it full. (I assume in a fridge, it will ferment slower at this point.)
Drink straight, diluted like lemonade (treat the shandy as a lemonade concentrate), or mixed with bourbon.
I don't know what all's necessary for the process -- what's required for the carbonation and fermentation, whether the acidity of the lemons is at all relevant in preventing bacterial growth -- but I know this: do not skip the boiling water either in prepping the lemons or putting the shandy together, because citrus mold is fucking nasty; and you can replace the sugar with any sugar solution -- honey, soda, etc. You could play with this one all year.
If you have unpasteurized apple cider -- which in many states is legal to sell only at farmstands, if at all -- obviously you can just leave it on the counter and it'll turn for you.
Okay, so jacking. This is where the word applejack came from: jacking a cider or a shandy means freezing it and drawing off the bit that doesn't freeze, the alcohol. You're not going to get all the alcohol, and your yield is going to be very very low. Fermented cider used to be kept in outdoor barrels that'd freeze in the winter -- think of the jack on top as kind of like the cream on unhomogenized milk, you know? It gives you the option of reincorporating it or skimming it off for your own nefarious purposes.
Jack is pretty fucking harsh, though. With the price of cider, there's frankly just not much reason to make it if you don't have your own orchard: it's cheaper to buy a bottle of Laird's.
― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 28 August 2006 22:44 (nineteen years ago)
And it goes without saying, if you just want something that's the Hot Pocket equivalent of fermentation -- take X, add Y, boom instant booze --
don't do it. You're fucking around with stuff that can come out toxic. Beer just isn't expensive enough that there's any reason to half-ass around with homemade hooch.
― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 28 August 2006 22:47 (nineteen years ago)
one year passes...
You can't get 80 proof without distilling. The yeast dies when the alcohol reaches ~15-20% depending on the strain.
Not that I know whereof I speak, but I understand that one can increase alcoholic content by the simple expedient of freezing the brew and straining out the ice crystals. This might not lead to 80 proof, but should provide some extra kick.
― Aimless, Saturday, 15 March 2008 18:09 (seventeen years ago)
ten months pass...
one month passes...
two years pass...