Why I have went 2 graveyard dis weekend.

Did they get a family rate?

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0906061grave1.html

Decided to do Girlfriend In A Coma one better, and do Girlfriend In The Cemetary (Gates)?

"And there're some judgmental sourpusses around here who totally have a corpse-fucking coming to them," the Rev. Norder added.

The men had stopped at a Wal-Mart and bought condoms before heading to the cemetery, police said.

Yeah, this is definitely the WTF moment.

Next time perhaps don't go grave-robbing with your buddy who will RAT ON YOU.

Also: 11 p.m. may be on the early side to execute your heinous intentions.

http://www.notcoming.com/images/reviews/returnoflivingdead.gif

I'd hit it.

After I'd dug it up.

This is the part of the obit that should stand out for the aspiring neophyte necrophiliac with any sense of amour propre:

Visitation will be held on Tuesday, August 29, 2006 from 3:00 – 8:00 p.m. at St. Charles Catholic Church in Cassville and one hour prior to the service Wednesday morning. The Martin Funeral Home is assisting the family.

And I'm sure one hour is more than enough time for these three.

Yeah me too.

(I was timing the first "I'd hit it")

I take her flowers each day.
I place them over her grave.
I want her back
Because I look so bad, so bad in black
(Like a maniac)

You can't bury love,
You've gotta dig it up,
Yeah, you've gotta live it up.

Please, darling, come home to me.
Well, I'll make you so happy, you will see!
I'll paint your room
In pink and blue
(I'll even choose the colour scheme for you!).
You can't take away my love
I'll never give it up!
Yeah, I'm gonna dig it up.

(Don't!)
(Don't! I Don't want to know!)

My girlfriend lives in the ground.
My friends, you ask me why she's six feet down,
I can't tell you why 'cos if I even try
I'd fall down flat on my face
And I'd cry, "you can't take away my love"
I'm gonna dig it up!
I'm gonna live it up, yeah,
I'm gonna dig it up, dig it up.
I'm never gonna stop
With that loving cup.
Gotta fill it up.

Is this standard practice in an obit? Listing family members, friends who've died before her?

xpost, yes that is pretty standard

Relentless lust of rotting flesh
To thrash the tomb she lies
Heathen whore of Satan's wrath
I spit at your demise

Virgin child now drained of life
Your soul cannot be free
Not given the chance to rot in Hell

Satan's cross points to Hell
The earth I must uncover
A passion grows to feast upon
The frozen blood inside her

I feel the urge the growing need
To fuck this sinful corpse
My tasks complete the bitch's soul
Lies raped in demonic lust

(Lead - King)

Her stomach bursts the casket breaks
The seed has taken form
A writhing shape of twisted flesh
The Devil's child is thrown

Hungry for the smell of Death
He rules forbidden evil
Vengeance with a frenzied hatred
The bastard now must die

Lost souls of the dead
Form legions that burst through Hell's Gates
Death of one sacrifice
To avenge the raped corpse from the grave
Blood of one mortal man
The fire grows stronger within
Fate of a frenzied lust
Lucifer takes my dark soul

Down to the fiery pits of Hell
[Down to the fiery pits of HELL]

I think because her brother also died in a motor-vehicle accident, at a similar age, it was relevant.

This cracks me up to think about, these guys, digging, at night, in a graveyard, blazing hard-ons, and then CLANGK.

"You'll never guess what's up" (7x)
"My muckin' head blew up"

She was lovely, long hair, short, nice figure though
So at the funeral, it made me cry, watch her die
I cannot lie, I couldn't sleep without a wink
I only think about my lady, I want my baby
I need her by my side, to hold me, to squeeze me

I still have pictures, but all they do is tease me
I see my therapist, he only tells me I'm in trouble
I want my baby back, so now I pack a shovel
And while I'm digging, it's awfully dark and kinda funny
Don't dig too fast or to see things could get bloody
I watch my baby, I hit the top of baby's coffin
I thinking, she's better off inside if she died
Nah, she needs me, I can tell my baby wants me
Cuz every night at 2:15, my baby haunts me
I prey it open, the odor hits me, there she is
I lean down to give her a kiss because I need a...

Girl that make me happy, a girl that make me cry
A girl that passed away back in 1985
A girl I plan to marry, a girl I plan to wed
A girl I chew on cuz my baby is already dead

Cemetery lady, my cemetery girl
Cemetery baby, I want you in my world
Cemetery woman, we can still be down
You're more than just a corpse to a psychopathic clown
Cemetery lady, my cemetery girl
Cemetery baby, I want you in my world
Cemetery woman, we can still be down
You're more than just a corpse to a psychopathic clown

"Fuck yeah, motherfucker
I don't want no stuck up
Little sassy rassy bitch
Ya know what I'm saying
I want me a cold stanky bitch
So bring it on, dead momma"

She's as lovely as always, my baby hasn't changed
Except for the hole that's in her forehead, you can see her brains
Nevertheless, our love is still forever true
Her eyes have withered, her skin has now a tint of blue
My baby's dusty and dirty, and wrinkled clothes
And now I notice, the maggots chewed off all her toes
The earth has been rather cruel to my darling sugar
Is that a bug upon her face? oh, it's just a booger
I lean her head back to kiss her cracking lips
And then her neck crack, also does her hips
I must be gentle, my baby girl's a little rusty
A little dusty, but most of all, a little musty
I notice that, when we lay together on the lawn
We lay till dawn, I notice her left eye is gone
We said goodbye and everything turned out alright
I'll see you again tomorrow night, because I need a...

Girl that make me happy, a girl that make me cry
A girl that passed away back in 1985
A girl I plan to marry, a girl I plan to wed
A girl I chew on cuz my baby is already dead

Check it out, bitch!
You aren't getting stank, skank
Get your asses shoveling
Then you'll want a lil somthin somthin
Them cramey graveyard bitches
They DOWN WITH THE CLOWN!!!

Girl that make me happy, a girl that make me cry
A girl that passed away back in 1985
A girl I plan to marry, a girl I plan to wed
A girl I chew on cuz my baby is already dead

The production is progressive, but the reason is retro
The chords are cold-blooded murder, I named it neo-necro
I whispered in her ear to hear an echo, echo-co-co
I keep her - it's cheaper - I love too much to let go
We discussed over dinner how she would die before the day was done
So I've caught her just in time to have a little fun
And you could use a little sun
So scream and holler, run and play
Wish you could die another day
I'm glad to say that I've
Done what I could to revive
My softer side survived
Damn, that shit was all right, when she was alive
Ha ha ha...

Living ain't clean, living ain't easy
Makes me feel just plain obscene
Know what I mean?

Dead dead dead!

I devour the pediculous corpse
Whetting my palate as I exhume
The festering stench of rotting flesh
Makes me drool as I consume...

Caskets I grate
My larder's a grave
I'm sickly obsessed (with the badly decomposed)
Rotten remains I eat
Purulent meat
What a funeral feast (putrid reek)

Weeping tissue is stripped
Pus dribbles from my lips
Pulverising this pustular chaff
Butchering up morgues makes me laugh...

Ulcerated flesh I munch
Rotting corpses are my lunch
On bones I love to crunch (on the badly decomposed)
Shrivelled innards I lick
The corpse's head I kick
Crumbling shreds I pick (eat the stiffs)

(Solo: morbid melody for the deceased with salt to taste)

Rancid flesh, slaughter the dead
- Caskets exhumed...
Corpses disenterred, graves disturbed
- To consume...

Bereaved relatives are not amused
As on their dear departed I feverishly consume...

Slavering worms, decomposure burns
Corrosion born, as bacteria gnaw

Desecrate...
Precipiate...(from the muddy grave)
Macerate...
Eviscerate...

Caskets I grate
My larder's a grave
I'm sickly obsessed (with the badly decomposed)
Rotten remains I eat
Purulent meat
What a funeral feast (putrid reek)

Saponified fats, nibbled by rats
-Freshly exhumed...
Deep down six feet is where I like to eat
-Human flesh to consume

little buttercups and wild daizies
by the lilly pond, remember baby
blowing dandeliens, my only wish was you

sitting on a cold slab
feeling my warm stab
you know I'll be missing you
that's why i'm kissing you

flowers on your grave
i never loved you
flowers on your grave
i never touched you
i paid my respects
too little too late
flowers on your grave

little buttercups and wild daizies,
by the lilly pond, remember baby
blowing dandeliens, my only wish was you

i look funny all dressed in black
my wet hankerchief won't bring you back
now there lowering down
you feel me from underground

flowers on your grave
i never loved you
flowers on your grave
i never touched you
i'll bet that you're there
never knew you cared
flowers on your grave

little buttercups and wild daizies
by the lilly pond, remember baby
blowing dandeliens, my only wish was you

you are the lucky one
i hope you've had your fun
for all those nights I set you free
tonight you'll remember me

flowers on your grave
i never loved you
flowers on your grave
i never touched you
i paid my respects
too little too late
flowers on your grave

jealous of the flies and the worms inside me
jealous of the flies and the worms inside me
jealous of the flies and the worms inside me
jealous of the flies and the worms inside me

Is this standard practice in an obit? Listing family members, friends who've died before her?

It is standard obit practice. I used to write/compile obits for my hometown's paper and sometimes that list would be half the obit because the people had such large families (in mormonland). It's just family members, usually.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/09/07/gang.assault.ap/index.html

if this article wasn't bad enough, read all the "related stories" at the bottom

And the rest of the time?

"She was preceeded in death by Aristotle, Joan of Arc, Abraham Lincoln, and G.G. Allin."

-- Andrew (n...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:05 PM. (enneff) (later)

this is the first thing that crossed my mind too

this site has the picture of the lady