Bust going Salon

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Apart from surgical enlargement/reduction, are there important things women could be doing to beautify this most popular of areas?

― N., Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It has been a while since you started a breast thread Nick, I was worrying whether you were off our food or something.

― Tom, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Your food. ILE has not knowingly fed you. Except the breast milk of knowledge.

― Tom, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And that nipple has run dry of late.

― Pete, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have heard in Europe the women moisturise their breast/neck area with as much importance as the face. I suppose for firmness and a healthy glow. They probably use Creme de la Mer, apparently it's the lotion of the Gods. Every celebrity says they use this! Probably only available in Paris. Alternatively, you could do the infamous 'we must, we must' exercise.

― Evangeline, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh yes, us European women pay great attention to breast cosmetics. I have read that some slebz stand under icy showers claiming it firms them up. A highly dubious practice in my view.

― Emma, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

but I thought cold showers built character and moral fibre?

― chris, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Icy cold water in the shower makes your hairy shiny and 'builds character'. I don't know about breast-enhancing. Someone probably just wants to see chilly nips.

― Evangeline, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And breasts, apparently.

I can see it now: two single men are scoping out the club. One turns to his buddy and says, "PHWOAR! Look at the moral fiber on that one! I'd love to get my hands on her character!" The other guy says, "That's my mother!" and punches his friend in the testicles. Cue hilarious chase scene.

Dammit, WHY AM I NOT IN HOLLYWOOD?

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(I am responding to Chris here, although I like the psuedo-Dada effect of Evangeline's intervening post.)

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Did I tell you I like chilly Nips? (And breasts.)

― Momus, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love it when Momus makes cheap jokes.

Glitter on cleavage is a no no. It just makes them look sweaty. Just as well glitter is out generally. How do breast firming creams work? I don't see how they could.

― N., Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They work by being extremely expensive and using lots of Science and Research in Laboratoires Garnier and having adverts showing pert- breasted 17 year olds.

― Emma, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Emma exposes the beauty industry as a profiteering scam SHOCKAH!

― N., Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i like the glitter. i am very much liking the tits. glitter on tits therefore great. (that is the cleavage you meant?) i actually really like the fine powdery glitter that really does look like sweat.

Which reminds me, i still haven't got back my cyberdog t-shirt.

― Alan Trewartha, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

really. (of late, my vocabulary would appear to have jumped off a cliff)

― Alan Trewartha, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am just like McIntyre Under Cover. Or that Roger Cook.

I reckon that you might find that glitter on tits is an unfortunate / fortunate (depending on whether you are Nick or Alan) side effect of glitter on any other part of the body as it does tend to drift.

― Emma, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was=I was going to ask Sara the other night, how does one apply glitter? I've seen her getting ready to go out loads of times and not noticed, yet suddenly she is spangly. How can this be? Surely sprinkling would be messy and uneven?

― Graham, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

SHIMMER on breasts is nice, but there is a difference between shimmer and glitter. I have this Maybelline Cosmic Edge shimmer makeup that is like liquid mother-of-pearl. It's very delicate and barely noticeable. I don't like those chunks of glitter in that opaque paste that girls coat their eyes with though...wouldn't be very nice on the delicate area.

― Evangeline, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am in favour of glitter, if only so that there will be more products with names such as BODY BLING.

― Edna Welthorpe, Mrs, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Evangeline, I think it might be that shimmery mother of pearl stuff that most peturbs me in the sweat/glitter stakes. Is that what Croatian Eurovision contestants wear?

Graham - they have roll-ons and stuff.

― N., Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

and sort of powder puff (fluffy/spongey) efforts.

― Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Girls and makeup eh, it's like we're from another planet.

― Emma, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

YOU ARE. Actually, the moronic indieboy wibblings of 'Girl from Mars' have forever tarnished 'Another Girl, Another Planet' for me. Bastards.

― N., Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'Another Girl, Another Planet' not being at all moronic?! memory is a funny thing.

― Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well maybe it is, but in like a 'good moronic' way.

― N., Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Glittery tits = fantastic. URGENT and KEY possible alternatives: SHERBERT DIP, HUNDREDS and THOUSANDS, POSTER PAINT POTATO PRINTS. Also, the RUTH MADOC look from UNDER MILK WOOD the movie.

― Peter Miller, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

POSTER PAINT POTATO PRINTS

hasn't Eve been doing this? judging by that video with Gwen Stefani she has.

― chris, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Patti LaBelle apparently had glittery cleavage going in full effect during the Superbowl pregame show. I'm very very sad that I missed it, because glittery cleavage is always a win-win situation (unless it's on a man).

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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