Not pictured in cop show

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

1) Instead of one dirty cop being on the take, everyone is on the take.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:25 (nineteen years ago)

2) Male cop sexually harasses female cop, e-mails her porn, other male cops back their buddy and taunt her, and when she complains to chief they retaliate

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:26 (nineteen years ago)

3) Cop turns on sirens just to go around small line of traffic so he can get to lunch quicker.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:27 (nineteen years ago)

4) Cop has lucrative side gig doing security on construction project for big local developer

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:29 (nineteen years ago)

5. abject boredom of being a cop

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:31 (nineteen years ago)

6. Cops nab wrong guy, he's convicted, no one is aware of mistake

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:34 (nineteen years ago)

7. Cops screwing up in ordinary, human ways, like stumbling during a chase or making a wrong turn.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:36 (nineteen years ago)

8. Protagonist cop having even one moment in which he is not treating his job with deathly seriousness

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:37 (nineteen years ago)

i'm sure i've seen some of these in the bill

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:39 (nineteen years ago)

9. cop is active in policeman's union, organizes a protracted 'blue flu' with overwhelming cooperation from co-workers, gains concessions from the city after whirlwind last-minute round of emergency meetings with city and state officials.

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:43 (nineteen years ago)

haha

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:44 (nineteen years ago)

10. Cop lives out rock star fantasy by playing saxophone in police rock band that travels to elementary schools to discourage drug use

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:45 (nineteen years ago)

11. Cop posts anonymous gripes about department politics on a local internet message board (specificity of his knowledge makes it obvious who he is)

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:48 (nineteen years ago)

12. respected cop files dubious worker's comp claim, lives it up for 6 months, returns. His ability to fake lingering effects of injury silences the few rumors that circulated in his absence.

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:49 (nineteen years ago)

13. cop has quiet dinner at home with girlfriend, has early night

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:49 (nineteen years ago)

14. Reporter writes puff piece about cop, gaining his trust and access to inside information

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:52 (nineteen years ago)

15. cop sees someone loitering and says "run along now"; loiterer complies

― louise jaguar (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:54 (nineteen years ago)

16. N00B: "HA HA, THIS O'MALLEY GUY SOUNDS LIKE A REAL HOOT. CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HIM!"
GRIZZLED VET: "Um, Son? That O'Malley guy is the cop you're supposedly replacing around here."

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:58 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, fuck. Who set up two damn-near identical threads next to one another?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 5 October 2006 03:58 (nineteen years ago)

16. Cop takes names of group of teenagers for no particular reason

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 04:02 (nineteen years ago)

17. Cop bursts into s- oh wait.

― weather1ngda1eson (Brian), Thursday, 5 October 2006 04:19 (nineteen years ago)

18. "Sir will you step out of the vehicle pl -- oh, good evening Mayor Wallace, I didn't realize that was you."

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 04:22 (nineteen years ago)

19. Cop isn't secretly a pedophile or a racist.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 5 October 2006 04:36 (nineteen years ago)

20. after a long night's work cop looks into his bathroom mirror, pulls his forehead skin up with his fingertips until his eyelids are taut and his eyebrows look surprised, and considers getting a brow lift.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 5 October 2006 05:11 (nineteen years ago)

21. sweaty hand shandy in station bogs

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Thursday, 5 October 2006 05:17 (nineteen years ago)

22. rookie cop finally obtains much hard one

― timmy tannin (pompous), Thursday, 5 October 2006 05:20 (nineteen years ago)

23. stakeout in real-time

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Thursday, 5 October 2006 05:23 (nineteen years ago)

24. Cop goes on a house search without a warrant because he has "a hunch", beats up and maims a few "suspects" - but they turn out to be innocent! The whole episode is hushed down by fellow cops.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 5 October 2006 06:56 (nineteen years ago)

25. An innocent Brazillian man gets shot in the head at point blank range.
26. Someone asks the cop for directions, and the cop gives them. The whole exchange is extremely pleasant.

― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Thursday, 5 October 2006 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

A-ron have you not seen 'the shield'?

― the classic sounds of the seventh of january 1998 (Enrique), Thursday, 5 October 2006 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

Heh, actually I haven't, but I was wondering if if that show might have some of these things.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

27. Cop has a waz in a shop doorway.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 October 2006 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

28. and his partner licks it up

― teh_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 5 October 2006 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

the wire too (but let us forget about such shows, this is good)

29 sergeant is push-over

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Thursday, 5 October 2006 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

30 rookie cop fails to outrun fireball, dies horribly while trying to yell 'IM TOO YOUNG FOR THIS SH----'

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 5 October 2006 14:31 (nineteen years ago)

31. intensive blood spatter, decomposition and ballistics analysis implicates... well, probably six or seven people, give or take. depends.

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 5 October 2006 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

32. Cops finish meal, head back to station chatting about last night's baseball game.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

33. black preacher and head of citizens' watchdog group sit down with chief for 2 hour quarterly meeting, agenda is mostly followed but progress is inconclusive. next meeting's agenda agreed upon.

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 5 October 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

34. Cop has to attend school ribbon cutting, gets caught yawning in photo while standing behind mayor.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

35. Cop attends memorial service of other cop he had no personal connection to and had never met.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 14:54 (nineteen years ago)

36. Cop farts in locker room, clears the area

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

37. closeted homosexual city councilman subject of a few jokes in station houses, otherwise respected, police work and city gov't unaffected.

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

38. sensitivity training genuinely opens a few eyes, changes some officers' on-duty behavior, sparks conversation at work, and at home.

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

39. Cop is busy instant messaging a friend while he's supposed to be monitoring a kiddie porn chat room.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

40. cop goes to cop movie, thinks 'man I gotta move to hollywood and get a job as an advisor to cop movies'

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:15 (nineteen years ago)

41. Five cops join together to form 20 FT HIGH ROBOTIC SUPER-COP. At least not in any made outside Japan.
42. Killing was random and motiveless, perpertrator had absolutely no personal connection to victim, case will never be solved.

― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:35 (nineteen years ago)

43. Cop secretly writes novel based on his cop experiences, can't find a publisher

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:36 (nineteen years ago)

44. department "clown" actually incredibly annoying to all

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

45. A senior detective gets one last assignment one week before his retirement, finishes it without complications, and goes on enjoying his pensioner days.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

46. small-town cop moves to big city, gets along just fine

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

47. big-city cop moves to small town, gets along just fine (except for minor complaints about lack of thriving gay culture, still, stable relationship with partner more than makes up for it, plus the city really isn't that far away if they just want to go dancing)

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 5 October 2006 15:57 (nineteen years ago)

48. Cop angrily masturbates in shower before work. It is sticky.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

My god, these items could be made into short Onion stories.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

This:

43. Cop secretly writes novel based on his cop experiences, can't find a publisher

is killin me

― mango selassie (teenagequiet), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

49. Cop can't find badge, swears he left it on the bedside table last night

― deej.. (deej..), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

50. Cop forgets to zip fly, realizes a few hours in to work, zips discreetly.

― deej.. (deej..), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

51: cop writes impassioned diatribe about Beck, on message board.

― -- (688), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:42 (nineteen years ago)

52: cop eats sushi in upscale restaurant without comissioner present

― -- (688), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

53: cop swims lake tahoe for charity

― -- (688), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

54: cop reveals he was under 18 javelin champion at brigham young

― -- (688), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

55. evil nyc cop rapes the shit out of michael bloomberg after being taken off a case

― gear (gear), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

56. cop appears in court against traffic offender over license violations, drops all charges against offender since license issues have been resolved. all parties interact in a rather cordial manner and depart after another 30 minutes of cases.

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:54 (nineteen years ago)

55. cop eating baby carrots and yogurt, partner asks for a few carrots and gets them, cop at next desks saunters by and grabs a couple without asking. 1st cop: wtf i'm sick of you guys eating all my carrots!

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Thursday, 5 October 2006 16:58 (nineteen years ago)

56. 'good cop' and 'bad cop' get confused about who's playing what

― deej.. (deej..), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:00 (nineteen years ago)

57. cop wakes up in the middle of the night alone, masturbates into own cupped hand, cries himself back to sleep

― gear (gear), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

wow beating and crying to sleep - cop's pretty bummed huh.

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:03 (nineteen years ago)

58. gay cop visits gay chatroom, has unsatisfying sexual encounter with local married man

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

59. cop is a practising buddhist

― -- (688), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

60. cop says, "they're victims too Valerie, go easy on them"

― -- (688), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:13 (nineteen years ago)

61. law enforcement takes place in nebraska

― -- (688), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

62. police officer fails to meet physical fitness requirements at review, is admonished by superiors but remains on active duty

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

Cop get's shot in chest 12 times. Partner eats his remains. Nobody makes a big fuss about it because he was entirely made out of nugat.

― Fluffy Bear, among 100% of the population (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:35 (nineteen years ago)

63. candidate for sherriff garners financial support from local chapter of freemasons, of which he is a member

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:40 (nineteen years ago)

64. The corruption goes all the way to the lower end of the middle.

― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:44 (nineteen years ago)

66. cop cops cop shoot cop's 'consumer revolt'

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 5 October 2006 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

67. Cop contemplates whether five blades is really necessary while waiting in the checkout line.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 5 October 2006 18:01 (nineteen years ago)

68. Cop debates moving into Security job

― deej.. (deej..), Thursday, 5 October 2006 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

some of these are straight out of Kids in the Hall's "Cops" sketches

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 5 October 2006 18:05 (nineteen years ago)

69. Cop complains about other people's entries in "Not pictured in cop show thread"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 5 October 2006 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

70. Cop forgets to iron uniform, comes to work with blues all wrinkled.

― deej.. (deej..), Thursday, 5 October 2006 19:23 (nineteen years ago)

This:

43. Cop secretly writes novel based on his cop experiences, can't find a publisher

is killin me

-- mango selassie (teenagequie...), October 5th, 2006.

I guarantee you there's at least one of these on every major police force.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 19:32 (nineteen years ago)

71. Chief's son gets cushy desk job he's not really qualified for, but he's a likeable, easy-going guy who's fun at the bar so nobody really minds.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 5 October 2006 19:34 (nineteen years ago)

71a. is secretly gay

― gear (gear), Thursday, 5 October 2006 19:37 (nineteen years ago)

A+, this thread

― gbx (skowly), Thursday, 5 October 2006 20:53 (nineteen years ago)

72. cop enjoys nwa, bodycount

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Thursday, 5 October 2006 22:52 (nineteen years ago)

73. Prime suspect asks to see his lawyer, detectives note that he's within his rights to do so and leave. "Well, we won't be getting anything out of him."

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

74. cop urinates in public

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

75. New female lieutenant is quickly accepted by rank and file officers; no sexual tension because new lieutenant is in an established relationship and so are the officers, most of whom are rather plain-looking anyway.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

76. cop calls into local shop and takes free donuts/coffee, because is cop

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

77. cops sitting at station, a robbery is reported, cops joke about how that's the place that doesn't give them free donuts/coffee, change tv channel

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:11 (nineteen years ago)

wrong thread Ronan, at least here in the u.s. your last two are kinda plausible

78. Stationhouse coffee is actually quite good, all officers chip in to buy organic Ethiopian medium-roast in a five-pound sack from an importer who is also an informer.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

79. Whole office obsessed with "Project Runway," cops offer insightful critiques of each designer's signature style, end discussion with "Well it's all silly anyway, what with all the problems in the world. Still, though, fashion IS kind of important!"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:16 (nineteen years ago)

they would show that you mean?

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:16 (nineteen years ago)

80. Cop is told that he has to take some time off work to recover from death of partner/tramatic event and says "thanks, I really appreciate that. It would be nice to spend some time with my family and catch up with the gardening."

― Mark Co (Markco), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:23 (nineteen years ago)

81. Cop have running argument about best Grateful Dead album

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

82. Cop and cop buddies getting smashed on the weekend and macing each other. true story.

― A Giant Mechanical Ant (The Giant Mechanical Ant), Friday, 6 October 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.