In every Soviet bloc...

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1) Charismatic military officer with a heart of gold, clashes with slimy Politburo-sent underling

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

2) Cabbage

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

3) Babushkas
4) Old women with lots of cats
5) Stray dogs sniffing around for schmalitz
6) Religious icons

― trees (treesessplode), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

7) Vodka
8) Former bureaucrat becomes billionaire overnight under privatization

― milo z (mlp), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:54 (nineteen years ago)

9) Statues of Lenin

― Darramouss (Darramouss ftw), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

10) unreasonably beautiful blonde spy with high cheekbones and an even higher security clearance.

― Jimmy Mod is COMPLETELY MISERABLE SAN DIEGO (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:56 (nineteen years ago)

11) shitty paintings

― a|ex (Pareene), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

12) Corrupt general selling arms to terrorist allows for feel-good Soviet/USUK cooperation/nookie.

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:58 (nineteen years ago)

13) "meat"

― Mr. Que (Mr.Que), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

14. Guy on roadside stand selling badly manufactured casette bootlegs of western pop bands

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

15. models with square jaws that look like people from the Batman-The Dark Knight cartoon

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

1) Charismatic military officer with a heart of gold, clashes with slimy Politburo-sent underling

http://solidarnosc.free.fr/images/Jaruzelski_przemowienie.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

16. Small scale ganglords with stubble and short leather jackets.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

17. professional pedophiles

― Dr. Alicia D. Titsovich (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:24 (nineteen years ago)

18. teenagers coveting american blue-jeans

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:32 (nineteen years ago)

19. "In Russia, we like our women with some meat on their bones!"

― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

20. "In Russia, we like our meat-bones with some women on them."

― Vacillatrix (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:37 (nineteen years ago)

21. Luxuriously fitted private train carriages in stark contrast to the poverty outside.

― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

22. jokes using chiasmus

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:41 (nineteen years ago)

haha!

― Vacillatrix (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:44 (nineteen years ago)

23. Noble working-class heroes put in jeopardy by shoddy workmanship on nuclear reactor

― stet (stet), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

24. american cigarettes used as currency
25. hilariously behind the times western pop culture referencing

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:48 (nineteen years ago)

26. AK 47s

― sleep (sleep), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:51 (nineteen years ago)

27. reebok pumps
28. dark, heavy bread.

― Vacillatrix (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

29. recreational airplane glue

― Vacillatrix (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

30. MI-24 Hinds

― sleep (sleep), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

31. dark nightclubs with antique furniture and red mood lighting
32. prostitutes all wear the same shade of red lipstick

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:55 (nineteen years ago)

33. AIDS
34. Gray

― Vacillatrix (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:57 (nineteen years ago)

33. pensioners screwed outta their money by corrupt commie bureaucrats-turned-capitalists, sadly singing "the song of the happy tractor driver" and "stalin wasn't stallin'" in a shabby park

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

36. momus looking for a cheap flat and admiring the "cultural dissonance"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

34a. Gray acid-washed jeans
36. A guy named Grigori that'll get you anything you want... for a price.

― Vacillatrix (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

37. Secret Christians hilariously sent to labour camps.

― Doctor Jaggernathy (noodle vague), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

39. Everyone wears wireframe glasses. No other styles, no contact lenses.

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:00 (nineteen years ago)

40. dissident artists who sadly listen to velvet underground and mothers of invention records & believe that lou reed and frank zappa are best buddies.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:01 (nineteen years ago)

41. Shot-putter wins Olympic Gold, fails sex test.

― Doctor Jaggernathy (noodle vague), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

41. 'Andropov Lives!' t-shirts.

― Vacillatrix (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

42. historic, picturesque neighborhoods being bulldozed in order to construct monstrous, brutalist "people's congresses."

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:03 (nineteen years ago)

43. Mullets and pube 'taches.

― Doctor Jaggernathy (noodle vague), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:04 (nineteen years ago)

44. bootlegged yngwie, scorpions, and elton john cassette tapes.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:05 (nineteen years ago)

45. massive, 7.0 richter-scale earthquake -- causes $1B in improvements!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:06 (nineteen years ago)

46. a still in every basement

― literalisp (literalisp), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:10 (nineteen years ago)

47. Loveable drunken schmo in charge of thermonuclear missile station inside Arctic Circle.

― Doctor Jaggernathy (noodle vague), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:12 (nineteen years ago)

48. Rats in anuses.

― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:20 (nineteen years ago)

49. Well-meaning teenagers who love all forms of heavy metal

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:22 (nineteen years ago)

50. Muse.

― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:22 (nineteen years ago)

51. Outrageous aviation and space projects designed with the "more is better" rule. The 10-engined KM "Caspian Sea Monster." The 30-engined N1 rocket.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:27 (nineteen years ago)

52. The smell of urine in elevators.

― Jena (JenaP), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 06:17 (nineteen years ago)

53. dissident artists who before they came to power sadly listened to velvet underground and mothers of invention records & when they assume political power make lou reed and frank zappa the american ambassadors to their ex-soviet bloc country.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 06:33 (nineteen years ago)

54. the fact that artists actually CAN assume political power AT ALL.

(that doesn't explain ronald reagan or arnold schwartzeneggar, though.)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 06:35 (nineteen years ago)

55. In Soviet Bloc, Tetris plays YOU!

― The Real Esteban Buttez (EstieButtez1), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 07:59 (nineteen years ago)

56. Fish heads.

― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

57. Playboy offspring of the party leader.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 11:10 (nineteen years ago)

58. Yorkshire born building contractor searching for a new wife after the suspicious death of his previous one.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

59. bloc parties

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 11:51 (nineteen years ago)

60. Communists.

― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 12:18 (nineteen years ago)

61. awesome hats

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 12:20 (nineteen years ago)

62. Yogurt-loving centenarians

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 11 October 2006 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

63. Young boys with dissident parents growing up to be autobiographical writers.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

64. recent veterans make a killing in selling surplus military overcoats & other red army kitsch to visiting Western undergraduates

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

65. white collar chess

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

66. Soul Finger

― Fluffy Bear, among 100% of the population (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

67. hott-ass assassin a-sassin'

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 14:40 (nineteen years ago)

sorry that was like #10 already

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

68. Talented if slight central African footballer plying trade for underachieving top flight club whilst his agent repeatedly assures him he can get him a trial at Arsenal.

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

69. Re-usable plastic bags used to carry groceries, serve as advertising real-estate, and source of status and pride.

― Jena (JenaP), Thursday, 12 October 2006 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

70. bloc parties

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 12 October 2006 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

59. bloc parties
-- ken c (pykachu100@

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 12 October 2006 16:46 (nineteen years ago)

70. http://www.deeario.it/posts_images/thecommunistparty.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 12 October 2006 16:46 (nineteen years ago)

71. Old men all have extremely bushy eyebrows.

― pj (Henry), Thursday, 12 October 2006 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

72. Most meals consist entirely of root vegetables.

― pj (Henry), Thursday, 12 October 2006 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

73. Constant worry that Arnold Schwartzenagger will show up.

― Eppy (Eppy), Thursday, 12 October 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

74. the cheapest toilet paper you can imagine.

― patita (patita), Thursday, 12 October 2006 19:09 (nineteen years ago)

75. dead journalists

― Jena (JenaP), Friday, 13 October 2006 00:08 (nineteen years ago)

Hairy pits

― Hard like armour (Hard like armour), Friday, 13 October 2006 02:40 (nineteen years ago)

77. bad tea

78. personal computer at least a decade & a half behind everybody else, if Goldeneye is any indication

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 13 October 2006 02:41 (nineteen years ago)

79. matryoshka

― Hard like armour (Hard like armour), Friday, 13 October 2006 02:43 (nineteen years ago)

80. middle-aged women that smell like undigested meat

― a portal to squee heaven (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 October 2006 02:46 (nineteen years ago)

Brittle dry dark chocolate

― Devoichitsa (Devoichitsa), Friday, 13 October 2006 09:46 (nineteen years ago)

82. People waiting 20 years for a car.
83. Checkpoints
84. Wiretaps
85. Pravda

― naus (Robert T), Saturday, 14 October 2006 01:22 (nineteen years ago)

86. Travelling football fans get beaten up by local casuals.

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

87. Luxury hotels reserved for foreign visitors in main cities, where one floor is not accessible by elevator, because that is where intelligence officials record what their bugs pick up.

88. Luxury hotels reserved for state officials in small picturesque holiday resorts, equipped with double rooms that come in handy when influx of young beautiful females coincides with Party Congress.

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 22:04 (nineteen years ago)

89. warm carbonated beverages

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 17 October 2006 22:07 (nineteen years ago)

90. Polite request for merchandise in shop is met with denials that they have such a thing, despite said product being clearly visible behind the counter.

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 05:30 (nineteen years ago)

91. Dark leather shoes with white socks.

― Jena (JenaP), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 06:33 (nineteen years ago)

92. Mens' suits available in every color, as long as its grey.

― naus (Robert T), Thursday, 19 October 2006 03:03 (nineteen years ago)

93. elton john serenading a pretty east german border guard (who is naturally ignorant of the fact that elton doesn't really swing that way because she'll never know anything about his home and wouldn't care even if she did b/c he's her ticket outta the soviet bloc)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 19 October 2006 06:00 (nineteen years ago)

94. oodles of curious yet clueless "westerners"

― tiit (tiit), Thursday, 19 October 2006 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

95. brilliant, harried scientists detained under constant military supervision, working on dubious overbudget defense projects, and who harbor a secret longing to defect to the USA in their feeble, but well-intentioned, hearts.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Thursday, 19 October 2006 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

96. Comrades

― naus (Robert T), Friday, 20 October 2006 01:49 (nineteen years ago)

97. Lots of people reading ILX threads about what happens in the Soviet Union and saying "You know, they've really misunderstood us!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 20 October 2006 08:09 (nineteen years ago)

98. Trabants/Volgas/etc. that still manage to run and navigate Soviet-era roads with the help of sledgehammer and/or duct tape.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 20 October 2006 18:44 (nineteen years ago)

four months pass...

this thread still rocks!

― Eisbaer, Thursday, 1 March 2007 09:57 (nineteen years ago)

(bump)

― Jena, Monday, 5 March 2007 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

99. Snow

― Ste, Monday, 5 March 2007 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

100. Mens cologne on the dinner table.

― Jena, Monday, 5 March 2007 11:08 (nineteen years ago)

101. "Misplaced" nuclear warheads...

― Stone Monkey, Monday, 5 March 2007 12:31 (nineteen years ago)

102. Polonium 210-wielding oligarchs.

― chap, Monday, 5 March 2007 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

103. Man forced by poverty to eat dead neighbours bodies...

― Ronan, Monday, 5 March 2007 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

104. 'Vodka' consisting mostly of watered-down antifreeze

― mh, Monday, 5 March 2007 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

105. unbelievably gorgeous women on the arms of shlubby american expats with cushy IT consulting jobs

― gff, Monday, 5 March 2007 16:03 (nineteen years ago)

105. Samovar

― jhøshea, Monday, 5 March 2007 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

106. Life-sized tombstones of dead mafiosos looking grim.

― Elvis Telecom, Monday, 5 March 2007 20:59 (nineteen years ago)

107. very well-polished shoes
108. a national barbecue tradition
109. a national meat-in-dough dish
110. one national instrument appearing in *every* "ethnic" song
111. old women singing sad songs about love in warbly loud voices

― Maria, Monday, 5 March 2007 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

112 sorrowful little doggies in empty, sparsely-yet-tastefully furnished apartments who miss their departed masters (who were taken away to Siberia by the KGB and shot for being "enemies of the people").

― Eisbaer, Tuesday, 6 March 2007 10:03 (nineteen years ago)

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