With every baby ever

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1. drool

2. can't beat the 2nd level of Contra no matter how hard they try

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

3 Sleeps when you can't. Is awake when you want to sleep.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 21:06 (nineteen years ago)

Limbs and crawling and being small and crying and skin and all that crap.

Not to mention the special wallpaper.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

If ILX were a baby doll, you'd pull its string to hear it say "Meme!"

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

5. is horrible bait for most fish.
6. can't waterski too well.

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 21:31 (nineteen years ago)

7. Thoughts on the political issues of the day are inane and derivative at best.

― chap who would dare to contain two ingredients. Tea and bags. (chap), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 01:56 (nineteen years ago)

8. looks like Elmer Fudd

― jim wentworth (wench), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 01:59 (nineteen years ago)

9. vomit

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 02:00 (nineteen years ago)

10. "froggy" look of newborns
11. meconium
12. umbilical cord stump

― Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 02:17 (nineteen years ago)

killjoys ruin the classic "dangling out the window" bit

― timmy tannin (pompous), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 02:21 (nineteen years ago)

14. doubles poorly as a boxing glove despite the similar shape

― Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 03:01 (nineteen years ago)

15. A surprisingly extreme water EXPLOSION!

see: http://www.archive.org/details/sudden_birth

― Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 03:04 (nineteen years ago)

16. fontanelles still taboo after 200,000 years

― ath (ath), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 03:28 (nineteen years ago)

17. dropping of something from high chair repeatedly until you finally make the decision to stop picking up
18. diapers full of the most amazing variety of consistencies/colors in any poop ever witnessed

― got yourself a fish biscuit! (nickalicious), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

19. Makes a poor weapon to beat your baby daddy with.

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 18:43 (nineteen years ago)

xpost

"Baby poop, the worst kind."
-- John Prine

― A Radio Picture (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 22:26 (nineteen years ago)

20. tuomas masturbating in front of it

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 22:27 (nineteen years ago)

ha wtf

― Hoosteen (Hoosteen), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 22:44 (nineteen years ago)

21. Takes a huge, diaper-bursting shit 30 seconds before you walk out the door
22. waits until you sit down to have a shit until he/she starts screaming for "no apparent reason."

― don weiner (don weiner), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 23:00 (nineteen years ago)

23. meaningless, pointless, aimless, senseless "discussions" at 3:30 am with spouse

― don weiner (don weiner), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 23:01 (nineteen years ago)

24. sleeps through the night, very soundly, until you get wildly drunk for the first time in months.

― don weiner (don weiner), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

25. sleeps through the night, very soundly, until you get wild sex for the first time in months.

― don weiner (don weiner), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 23:03 (nineteen years ago)

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