we now live on High Street (do not read if you hate us)

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Our landlady is a big fat giant pain. She has blue hair. She asks us personal questions.

For example, she leant into our car today and said, 'So, are you staying here tonight?' I (Maryann) said, 'Uh, I'm probably not but Rainy is.' Afterwards Rainy complained that we ought to not let her know anything about our movements. I'm the one who deals with her and she insists on speaking on the phone for at least ten minutes over the most minor things. We used to have this big dialogue going about this guy called Grant who was 'digging a ditch' in flat four. I still don't know what she was talking about. But there were all these variables, like the size of the ditch and the size of the flat ... I think I like her more than Rainy.

I (rainy) broke the doorhandle off the first minute we were there. That's why I don't like her.

If you become our boyfriend, please don't break up with us after we like you.

― rainy and maryann, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

We are going to post pictures of our house on this thread. You could talk about your new houses on this thread, but it would be better if you only talked about ours.

― maryann, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I just want to point out, I do not prefer the landlady to Rainy. I mean, I am fonder of her than Rainy is.

― maryann, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You see the thing is, today is the day we are 'shifting in.' We've shifted one carload of stuff in my '86 Mirage (ie about five boxes) - that was a couple of hours ago - and since then we've been in the University Library (neither of us are enrolled at this university) looking at computers. It's about 4.45 pm.

― maryann, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I warned you not to read this

― maryann, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am going to try and like the landlady more than I do. It's gonna be hard though, she is an old battleaxe.

― rainy, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

sorry, i read it anyway.

― ethan, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't wish to appear critical but you don't sound like very efficient movers. You sound like people who fluff around. I am saying that with approval.

Try not to graunch any more door handles because they're not your property. (Just then I was pretending to be your new landlady. You have conveyed a chilling sense of what she is like. Good luck getting your bond back.)

Me and Mr Drew are moving into a new house as well but I will respect your wishes and not talk about it. I am being slow also. It seems inevitable that Mr Drew is going to become cross with me in the days ahead, if our past house moves are anything to go by.

Our old landlady just rang me and she had 'a tone' on, and she doesn't even know yet that we have accidentally damaged the toilet, and that all the plants have died thanks to a hot Northerly wind with high salinity which swept through about a year ago and wreaked devastation. Wish me luck for the inspection.

― Nancy Drew, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If, when I visit, the door handle is still busted, I will wonder at it.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

okay, so I went to the shop and bought a coffee plunger and a cup with different kinds of boats depicted on it. (ship, tugboat, canoe, sailboat). So I am trying at least to move in properly and efficiently. Maryann is just throwing her stuff around abitrarily. But I still bought her a turkish delight. Another thing I bought is plant food. We have nice plants.

Ned, the doorhandle is now fixed.

Good luck Nancy. Buy some plant food for your dead plants, they might be just poorly and not really dead. Tell us more about Mr. Drew if you feel like it!

― rainy, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm going to get our telephone connected now. Maryann has two television sets, I have none.

― rainy, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i had to help christine move today. her new place is better than your new place.

― doorag, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

duane are you still in dunedin? check yr e-mails

― maryann, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

house loser, you haven't seen our house. maybe you should get your own or something. you're fucking our shit up.

― maryann, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

happy house warmning...i have now impregnated your cat as a sign of my fond wihses...seriosuly though congrats on the house...i hope you don't have too much trouble with yr land lady...did i ever tell you about my land lord...back in my days, we didn't havet hings like tenancy rights...

― goeff, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Why Geoff, I knew you loved animals and all, but...

Ned, the doorhandle is now fixed.

Hurrah!

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

urgent and key: what is the kettle/gravel situation?

heh i am still chuckling that maryann likes miss battleaxe more than rainy ALREADY!! (yes yes i know she later attempted to deny it)

it sounds like the set-up for a 21st century sit-com

― mark s, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Come and knock on our door
We've been waiting for you
Where the kisses are hers and hers and hers

Three's company toooooooo.

― nickn, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the kettle gravel/situation remained unsatisfactory. There was an episode where maryann and i were required to change a fuse in public, with nothing but a tiny dinosaur torch slide projector (what I got for christmas) for lighting. it was all very... festive.

Our house has a kettle which turns itself off!!!!!!!!!!

― rainy, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Maryann! You should definitely tell the story of the carpark thing. Slapstick sitcom episode ahoy!

― rainy, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

whens the part-tay?eh?

― ducklingmonster, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh yeah - I want to start a whole thread about this but never mind I'll just write it here.

This morning I was woken a few times by a truck outside and I could see the top of the truck through my window saying 'road markings.' When I got up at 12 and went outside, they had painted white lines around my car and put up a 'residents parking only' sign beside it and under my windscreen wiper was a $40 dollar fine.

DO YOU BELIEVE IT???

― maryann, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's when it's time to complain, loudly.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

last night when I was in bed I got this text message from my friend Sophia: OLDMANART IS IN THE TRAVEL BAR, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK *LOVE YOU* SOPH XXX

Lucky I was safe at home.

― rainy, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't know if we are having a party... shall we?

― rainy, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah your on nibbles rainy

― ducklingmonster, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's kind of annoying having a house now, because we get sent bills for stupid things like the stupid electricity and the stupid telephone.

The telephone really is stupid though, we get wrong numbers all the time, due to a misprint in the yellow pages we have the same number as an auto wreckers, and people are always calling and asking for a radiator for an '89 cortina and stuff.

We got our number changed but we also got the service that redirects people to our new number if they dial our old number, so we still get people calling up for the auto wreckers. duh.

― rainy, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

rainy, explaint hat you are the auto people, but you only do it for decent cars, and that whatever car they are driving suck, and try to sell them your next door neighbours car...or claim that you're reallya distreesed woman who is the wife of the ddead auot people, and all you do is get people calling oyu, day and night.

― Geoff, Tuesday, 19 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

okay, people have stopped calling us and asking if we are the auto wreckers now, but our landlady is worse than ever.

The other night I was getting ready to step out the door (I have a new job and I was going out to celebrate) and she rang up and tried to engage me in a conversation about our vacuum cleaner. I was not forthcoming with too much information and I tried to make my tone a frosty as possible.

But the next day, the very next morning, she came to our house, unannounced and uninvited, and I could hear her asking Maryann a whole lot of stupid questions. I stayed hidden in my room.

She asked why wasn't Maryann at university yet, and why we were still home and then she said a whole lot of stuff about how we should put the newspapers out to be recycled.

And then she left but one minute later she came back and told Maryann to tell me to keep my bedroom window closed at all times.

― rainy, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I do not like having my window closed, she can't make me, she's not the boss of me.

― rainy, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

She sounds like an unusual individual all around.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned, she is and theres quite a high possiblity that when you come to our place you may have to meet her. She always just comes around without telling us. Once she even barged into Maryann's bedroom when Maryann was in bed.

She'll probably ask you how often I do laundry and whether or not we have cleaned the fridge. Don't tell her anything, okay?

― rainy, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I shall keep silence on the matter.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

rainy - have you got some type of tennancy agreement? because if you do, and it's similar to the ones in Oz, you can refuse her entry et etc, and she has to give you notice about when she wants to inspect...

another way of nto getting her to visit is to appear naked at the door covered in lambs blood - invite her in for a cup of sacrifical blood, and she will stay away forevah!

― Queen G, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Queen G is correct - any type of tenancy agreement, even a verbal one, is enough for the tenants to refuse the landlord entry unless she gives a weeks notice (which would be enough time to decorate with the lambs blood). If she comes in anyway you can serve a trespass notice on her.

― hamish, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Queen G: she's so radically conservative that appearing at the door wearing a T-shirt that said 'lambs blood' would probably freak her out. She told me that some 'oddbods' used to live in the flat downstairs, but they'd moved out now thank goodness. Nevertheless, there are still 'odd-bods' living next door (she means the mentally handicapped people living in the half way house - they're fully supervised, taken on group activities, and actually much nicer than her, needless to say.)

― maryann, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hamish - the thing with these legal protections, you come up against it in jobs too, is that actually taking advantage of them turns the people you depend upon as landlords/employers/etc against you - sometimes it seems like the hassle just isn't worth it. I suppose it would be useful if you were polite enough to mention the law without seeming aggressive, but I doubt that I could pull that off.

― maryann, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

three weeks pass...

Now she has come around and stolen our vaccum cleaner. This is particularly vexing as I know that the mad old bat has only done this to get our attention, so that we'll call her and she can force us into a debate about parking spaces etc.

I really do feel quite inconvenienced by all this. Theres a lot of dust just, you know, hanging about being dusty. It has the effect of making me feel as if some sort of mean hex has been placed apon me.

The injustice! The dusty old injustice of it all! I had to shake my fist at God, but only once I was safe inside, away from his wrath.

― rainy, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

having no lux sux. we have no lux in our flat, we have to borrow hamish's. i can feel the crumbs under my feet when i get out of bed in the mornings. hey and whats worse is that people have moved into the upstairs flat, and they wear Kathmandu polar fleece vests and tracky-daks.

― di, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i used to live on high street too! behind us was old man kenneth with his ruddy face with burst veins and petecchiae (sp?) and his rusty roof with the ancient sheets of corrugated iron held down with breeze blocks and bricks. it was only $120 a week between 3 of us, but there were 5 bedrooms, so we had a 'guest room' (mostly unoccupied) and a 'band room'! the smallest room in the house was the lounge, 'cos there were no fire places and we only had a tiny bar heater....mmm fush and chups in a smoky overheated room with port and codeine and the smell of roddy's socks...."ahh, dunedin!" (to the tune of "vienna")

love, c.

― cameron bain, Friday, 26 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

three weeks pass...

I am the only one who will talk to our landlady. I had to arrange for the shower to be fixed. And then, like it was my punishment, she came round to fix it herself. So I had to talk to her for one hour while she was on her knees pouring caustic soda down the drain. On the plus side, she is obviously now desperate to have us as tenants because her husband impetuously bought two houses they couldn't afford behind her back (paraphrase.) So instead of 'has Rainy got a job yet' it was 'how's Rainy going with her ... thing' and instead of 'don't you think it's time you got up' she said 'it must be quite difficult what you do.' She shared anecdotes with me about how hard it is to walk in high heels on paving stones and Fresh Freddies fish store. ps cAmeron i love you.

― maryann, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"her... thing" = landlady has been INFLUENCED by rainy blimey

― mark s, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

thanks. back atcha. write me a letter! my existence is meaningless without other peoples' acknowledgement of it......

― cameron bain, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

manny you've been gone for nearly two months. There are a lot of bank statements and library fines waiting here for you. I put them on top of your guitar amp. (I go home once a day to get the mail and make sure the place has not been arsoned down).

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

on saturday, I'll stop living at the Vice Chancellor's house and go home for real. Si will be in Timaru, you'll still be in Auckland.

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm eating sweets in the library, I've got apple juice too, come home and have some!

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

my sweets are called "CRAZY BOMBS". On the packet, the cartoon sweets look liked crazed maniacs. I fear them. The only way to stop fearing them is to eat them.

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i had forgotten how much fun this one is

― Ron, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I know but you see I'm actually at an exclusive health farm and when I come back to Dunedin I'm going to be a foot taller, thin, with hair to my waist, wearing high heels with confidence, and be friends with the actress who plays Minnie Crozier. I will also be rich and generous. I miss you Rainy! I'm glad you're saving our house from arson even when you're not there. I posted my library books back yesterday. I can't wait to pay off the fines! Rainy can your next boyfriend be a librarian at the DPL?

― maryann, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

By the way that description of what I will be like was SUPPOSED to make me sound like a terrifying monster.

― maryann, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

they actually taste a little soapy at first, and then you chew the fizzy stuff off and then it's a jelly sweet - theres a definite hint of parsnip in some of them.

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

manny, re: my next boyfriend. I just don't know! Guess what I kissed a boy recently, he was ever so dreamy!

But I will pull some strings at the DCC, and see if I can get you let off the fines.

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

manny to prove that I have some sway at the DCC, yesterday I was standing at the intersection crossing of the Octagon and George St and the mayor was on the other side and as we passed each other, she looked at me and smiled. I think she wants to invite me to the Strictly Coffee Company.

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Who's the guy? Let's talk about him in this public forum!

― maryann, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

okay, we'll use our secret code!

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Okay just remember that the code for 'I had sex with him' got changed to 'the'.

― maryann, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

this change in code makes it difficult for me to say anything.

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

*sob* I am hopelessly, hopelessly in love

― Matt, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Or does it?

― maryann, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hang on, Squarepusher's come on on winamp, all is well.

― Matt, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Matt is so fickle!

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Argh, sorry, I'm just easily influenced by stuff

― Matt, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

you should eat some Crazy Bombs.

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

will do, aaarrrgh time for bed

― Matt, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ps am i confused or was this the very first "do not read if you hate..." thread

― Ron, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ron - it was! Maryann is a genius.

― rainy, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ha ha yeah a "genius"

― , Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

it's looking more and more that way all the time...

― Ron, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hello!

― jel --, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two months! what a dirty rotten stop-out!

― cameron bain, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

rainy, make her bring you some duty-free!

― cameron bain, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

manny, I'm sleepy. I just watched Legally Blonde, when you come back, let's watch it together. I have to say it is in my top ten favourite movies. Then Simon made me watch a subtitled one, set in the Himalayas, which is probably in my bottom ten favourites, mind you there were a lot of yaks in it, which I appreciate. I had a pudding, it tasted like pudding.

― rainy, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hi jel!

― rainy, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hi rainy! yeah, legally blonde is great!

― jel --, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Jel = Reese Witherspoon's loveslave

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lucky bugger.

― Sam, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Wow! Thanks Ned! That's the best news I have had in ages...anyway better go, Reece wants me to do the dishes...

― jel --, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(so to speak)

― Graham, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(Uh-oh Rainy which Simon?)

― nabisco%%, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

le originale simone

― rainy, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe he's a robot though like on buffy just

― mark s, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ooooh manny, last night it was very wet and windy and creepy everywhere outside, and the house kept on creeeeaaaaking and I was getting spooked by it. And then I heard some creepy high heels going click-scrape down the footpath, like a swanky woman vampire was patrolling around waiting for me to open the curtains so she could give me the fright of my life and then smash through the window and bite me to death.

And I really wished you were sitting in bed with me watching TV and eating some snacks. Come home! I've got frozen yoghurt!

― rainy, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ps: someone rang up and asked to speak to "Hayden" and I said, "hold on a minute please" and then walked to the kitchen, ate a grape, walked back and said he wasn't home and to try again later.

― rainy, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I should try more elaborate wrong number strategies like that.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh my god I so can't wait to bla bla bla, I feel too twee to write here. Sorry you're more incorruptible than me. But I'm jealous of you for lying on your bed! When I used to live in flats where annoying people called for people who truly lived there and were rude to me I would say 'hang on I'll just get them' but then I would go read for a while or something. Of course I would never do that now because I'm so happy all the time. Hey I tried to call our number but it didn't work.

― maryann, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tonight I am invited to a swanky thing at the DPAG, my invite says 'Rainy and partner', should I invite that guy? The dreamy guy?

― rainy, Thursday, 18 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ps: Obv. trying to lure you home with food has not worked so far, but guess what! I've got chocolate! All "fun size" chocolate bars!

― rainy, Thursday, 18 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Only let dreamy people near you Rainy.

(Isn't partner like a euphemism for homosexuals?)

― Graham, Thursday, 18 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

serves as a more-encompassing term than 'wife' or 'spouse' graham - 'partners' can be married or unmarried straight or gay or whatever couples (I guess even the being two people part could be expanded on, sheesh)

― Josh, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"have you met my partner, the dunedin fire department male voice choir?"

― mark s, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

manny, I never asked that guy, I got too shy and nervous. The thing was good, there was great snacks. I drank a lot of champagne. Later on in the night I was at Pequeno and someone bought me a margarita, it was the most lethal thing I have ever encountered, I had to keep on going up to the bar and telling them to put some lemonade in it.

Then I went to the Crown and played a lot of pool with a bunch of people I didn't know. At one point, somehow I got roped into two games at once, one upstairs and one downstairs. People kept dragging me everywhere by the elbow, back and forth. It was hard to keep track of which shots to play. Also they kept cheating, but I still won, so who cares.

I'm scared that the dreamy guy will think there's something wrong with me because I have no friends. Yesterday Grant from next door came and used the phone, because he was locked out of his flat, he was the only person I talked to all day.

― rainy, Saturday, 20 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

haha, imagine if Grant knew people were casually mentioning the details of his ditchdigging, keylosing life on the www.

― rainy, Saturday, 20 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You're ever so popular Rainy, perhaps you could take all these fleeting acquaintances and build them in to one great big friend sandcastle.

Just tell dreamy guy he gets you all to himself.

― Graham, Saturday, 20 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

manny can I stand on yr table to change the battery in the smoke alarm?

The woman from flat one has moved out.

― rainy, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

don't change the battery in the smoke alarm! remove the whole unit & put it in the garbage can. when your landlady says "there was a smoke alarm in this room, where did it go!" just tell her "no there wasn't".

― unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

but couldn't the smoke alarm save my life if there was a fire?

― rainy, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

smoke alarms are just to annoy people, there is no record of anyone's life ever having been saved by one!

ok no don't listen to me, i totally pulled this "fact" out of my ass.

― unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

our one goes off every time i burn a piece of toast

― unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

which i feel i should be free to do

― unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

without being hassled by the man

― unknown or illegal user, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

six months pass...

woo woo!

― ron (ron), Friday, 31 January 2003 04:20 (twenty-two years ago)

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