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I killed her because I got tired of seeing her soul-kissing her boyfriend on the couch, him with his hand shoved so far up her skirt he looked like he was prospecting for gold.
He awoke time after time in the middle of the night using the big toe of his right foot to scratch thin air four inches below the place where, on that side, his body now ended. And inside he thought: What I want, Annie, is for you to do one of your forgetting acts when Ive got access to one of your knives and Im sure I can move well enough to use it.

.. and then a gif about weight loss supplements.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 14:13 (eighteen years ago)

Does the story continue as you lose weight?

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 14:17 (eighteen years ago)

It would be worth it, possibly, although I'm 12.5 stone at 6 ft 1 so best not.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 15:08 (eighteen years ago)

hey, you're my identical hand twin!

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 15:09 (eighteen years ago)

I got tired of seeing her soul-kissing her boyfriend on the couch

...Gear?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 15:09 (eighteen years ago)

What is "Soul Kissing" anyway? French kissing for europhobes?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 15:12 (eighteen years ago)

Subject: SWE6RUS & ME?

Hi,

Can you please contact me. I am homeless, but housing an overly large family. I feel like a big dick because
I got no money to feed the little energy units.

Bye (NO! Not bi)

Ron

(It's been fun, and will remain so, I have a family now)

― ken noizewater, field researcher: capitools division (Pareene), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 18:37 (eighteen years ago)

I always thought "soul-kissing" was making out to Aretha Franklin records.

― diebold with a vengeance (nickalicious), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 18:47 (eighteen years ago)

I got tired of seeing her soul-kissing her boyfriend on the couch
...Gear?

-- Ned Raggett

THANK YOU NED for inflicting that vision on me again. ;-P

― lyra (lyra), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 23:12 (eighteen years ago)

posted before, but this is Ned, outside Gear's house, last weeekend. every weekend.

http://static.flickr.com/78/186819640_a0017f45cf_o.jpg

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 7 November 2006 23:55 (eighteen years ago)

Someone link me to that fucking thread already.

― researching ur life (grady), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 01:48 (eighteen years ago)

wait, its this, isnt it:

what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room

― researching ur life (grady), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 02:15 (eighteen years ago)

yes. its that.

nevermind.

whoever linked me to the wrong thread on "so not gonn happen": DAMN YOUUU!

― researching ur life (grady), Wednesday, 8 November 2006 02:25 (eighteen years ago)

six years pass...

Greeting you!

I looked up your contact details and I am contacting you because of the urgency this situation demands.I am Mark Madoff son of Bernie Madoff founder of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC. My father is currently involved in a $50 billion USD swindle with investors and the U.S government has decided to confiscate my family empire worth billions of U.S dollars.

We need your assistance to help us receive and conceal 45 million USD ($45,000,000,00)from one of our family offshore accounts as we are currently under pressure from the U.S government to give up all family assets. For your efforts my family is willing to compensate you with 20% of the total funds. Note also that we have to be careful due to the huge nature of the funds. I will update you with more details as soon as I confirm your commitment to this deal.

Should you be interested please send me your details via email to enable us work on this together.

1:Full Names
2:Occupation:
3:Private Phone Number:
4:Current Residential Address:

Regards
Mark Madoff

― reckless woo (Z S), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 13:10 (twelve years ago)

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