have you ever consciously tried to make a relationship hard on a person you loved

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This could take many forms. One of these is doing things that you know will hurt their feelings, not just to see if it will, or to get a rise out of them, or to keep them interested -- just to keep an upper hand, perhaps.

― wordy rappinghood (roxymuzak), Friday, 10 November 2006 07:08 (nineteen years ago)

Sounds really horrible. I don't mean it to.

― wordy rappinghood (roxymuzak), Friday, 10 November 2006 07:08 (nineteen years ago)

Not a good habit to get into, but i think this is part of experimenting with life which everyone tries at some low point.

― Scorpion Tea (Dick Butkus), Friday, 10 November 2006 07:16 (nineteen years ago)

"I love you but I have chosen darkness"

― Scorpion Tea (Dick Butkus), Friday, 10 November 2006 07:29 (nineteen years ago)

i would be very surprised if wordy wants to discuss relationship dynamics with the back-end of a panto horse.

― estela (estela), Friday, 10 November 2006 07:31 (nineteen years ago)

is this a serious question? in other words, are you contemplating this? really interested to see someone defend this, seems like textbook adolescent game-playing to me.

― timmy tannin (pompous), Friday, 10 November 2006 07:38 (nineteen years ago)

who said anything about defending it?

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 10 November 2006 07:39 (nineteen years ago)

i don't know if i've ever done this.. i've definitely done it consciously to someone i didn't love anymore, but that's something else entirely.

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 10 November 2006 07:39 (nineteen years ago)

nobody did, but i'm curious if someone tries to instead of just listing examples (didn't mean to sound confrontational - ?)

― timmy tannin (pompous), Friday, 10 November 2006 07:41 (nineteen years ago)

oic

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 10 November 2006 07:45 (nineteen years ago)

I'm doing it in my current relationship, but I don't and haven't loved that particular person for some time.

― I'm down for runnin' up on them crackers in the city hall... (papa november), Friday, 10 November 2006 08:29 (nineteen years ago)

that's alright then

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Friday, 10 November 2006 08:47 (nineteen years ago)

Cheers.

― I'm down for runnin' up on them crackers in the city hall... (papa november), Friday, 10 November 2006 08:51 (nineteen years ago)

women be loving bastards?

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Friday, 10 November 2006 10:11 (nineteen years ago)

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 10 November 2006 10:15 (nineteen years ago)

it's weird...human capacity for cruelty. I don't really do this but sometimes things flash into my head to say that would be doing this...

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 10 November 2006 10:16 (nineteen years ago)

I just fig it was projected selfhate mostly, was in my case(s)

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Friday, 10 November 2006 10:23 (nineteen years ago)

i think i remember this was someone here's preferred method of "dumping" someone, just get drunk and stoned enough that they dump you instead, victory is yours

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Friday, 10 November 2006 10:39 (nineteen years ago)

I've done things that I've looked back on and wondered why I did them, and whether or not I'd deliberately/consciously set out to hurt someone. In the end I decided it wasn't premeditated but that I still had a worrying capacity to be a complete prick.

I know how to push people's buttons, but these days I keep myself in check (apart from sometimes when I'm full of booze but I don't think I'm alone in very occasional drunken cuntiness).

― ONIMO ph34rz teh NOIZE (GerryNemo), Friday, 10 November 2006 10:51 (nineteen years ago)

Tracer that is my preferred method of making sure people don't go out w/me, not the same thing I guess. Actually not that good an idea

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

is wordy rappinghood in a relationship or something?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

oh, it's you

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:28 (nineteen years ago)

OMG, I am Onimo! Nah, aren't quite a lot of people like that?

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:31 (nineteen years ago)

(I mean "able to push buttons and tempted to do it and occasionally actually get round to doing it", not "like Onimo", exactly)

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:34 (nineteen years ago)

Same with a lot of people, I imagine. Probably most of them won't admit it, though.

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:35 (nineteen years ago)

and why not, electric sound of jim [and why not]?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:36 (nineteen years ago)

touche

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

touchy

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:40 (nineteen years ago)

I've done it when I just didn't know how to express my confusion and unhappiness. I was a real arsehole to someone lovely. She seems to have forgiven me though!

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:41 (nineteen years ago)

I should imagine that people who make their relationships deliberately difficult have some kind of self-esteem problems whereby they like to be proven right that they're rubbish to be with. Which is a bit of a shame, really.

― C J (C J), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:44 (nineteen years ago)

I know how to push people's buttons, but these days I keep myself in check (apart from sometimes when I'm ~~full of booze~~ posting on ILE.

There, fixed :D

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:47 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, but CJ, surely it's better than the person knows upfront that you have a tendency to be needy and/or manipulative?

(not that those are qualities you should hang onto and highlight, obiously, but if your self-esteem's a bit lacking, you kind of can't help it)

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:49 (nineteen years ago)

I kinda think it's better to let them know dude

― A Viking of Some Note (Andrew Thames), Friday, 10 November 2006 11:56 (nineteen years ago)

I s'pose so, Ailsa. I've certainly known people who have deliberately sabotaged their otherwise fine relationships just so they can say "ha! told you I was no good!" as their partners walked away. Perhaps if someone has a tendency to do this all the time, they should be upfront about their inner wobbliness before they embark on any new relationship (or maybe they should get some professional help).

― C J (C J), Friday, 10 November 2006 12:04 (nineteen years ago)

I'm doing it in my current relationship, but I don't and haven't loved that particular person for some time.

:-( Seriously, why are you still in the relationship? This isn't meant as a criticism, just curiosity as to why you would stay with someone you don't love. I hope you at least like/can tolerate his presence, or it'd be masochistic to remain with him.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 10 November 2006 12:07 (nineteen years ago)

Aw, that's sad. Don't stay unhappy!

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Friday, 10 November 2006 12:12 (nineteen years ago)

But if partner isn't willing to stay and "help" (by which I mean understand and stick around while person deals with issues for the future benefit of both parties) then they aren't going to be the right person?

(I know there needs to be some willingness to deal with issues thereafter, and actually sabotaging the relationship rather than doing it to point out something that will probably be a huge barrier to a successful relationship isn't a good idea, but people aren't always rational like that, are they?)

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 10 November 2006 12:12 (nineteen years ago)

People are complicated.

― C J (C J), Friday, 10 November 2006 12:16 (nineteen years ago)

Because I care about him....and he's quite ill.

― I'm down for runnin' up on them crackers in the city hall... (papa november), Friday, 10 November 2006 12:23 (nineteen years ago)

Yet you're still consciously making it hard for him?

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 10 November 2006 12:26 (nineteen years ago)

:-( Oh no, quite ill in the sense that it's incurable?

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 10 November 2006 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

He's mentally ill and I can't cope with it anymore. That's why I make it hard for him, thats also why I won't leave him.

― I'm down for runnin' up on them crackers in the city hall... (papa november), Friday, 10 November 2006 13:05 (nineteen years ago)

I just fig it was projected selfhate mostly, was in my case(s)

I'm with you, dude.

― Will (will), Friday, 10 November 2006 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

Oh Kate, can I give you a million cyberhuggelz?

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 10 November 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

please don't

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 10 November 2006 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

Can I give YOU some, jim?

― teh_kit returns! (g-kit), Friday, 10 November 2006 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

please don't

― I'm down for runnin' up on them crackers in the city hall... (papa november), Friday, 10 November 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

xpost

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Friday, 10 November 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

Seriously dude, whats the problem?

― I'm down for runnin' up on them crackers in the city hall... (papa november), Friday, 10 November 2006 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

Okay, okay, that was sort of stupid, but I meant well.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Friday, 10 November 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 52 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

xpost Luna?

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:16 (sixteen years ago)

some things never change xpost

― unban everyone tbh (Curt1s Stephens), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:16 (sixteen years ago)

One would hope not, C. Because that's an awesomely cute thing to have done.

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:18 (sixteen years ago)

Blue Man Group is the shiznit. They're not just "performance artists," they make kick-ass music. Audio is by far the greatest album ever made.

― Curtis Stephens, Saturday, October 19, 2002 2:46 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

by far!!!!!!

― unban everyone tbh (Curt1s Stephens), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:20 (sixteen years ago)

7 years ago

damn

7 / 21 = 1/3 of my life

― unban everyone tbh (Curt1s Stephens), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:21 (sixteen years ago)

if u keep posting to age 29 youll have spent more time in your life on ilx than not

― max, Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:22 (sixteen years ago)

only 8 years to go

― max, Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:22 (sixteen years ago)

LOL. ~~Makes me happy to be old.~~

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:24 (sixteen years ago)

dang curtis is only 21?

― farting irl (cankles), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:26 (sixteen years ago)

22 in december!

― unban everyone tbh (Curt1s Stephens), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:27 (sixteen years ago)

Curtis, that Blue Man Group post is ridiculously endearing imo.

― bear say hi to me (ENBB), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:27 (sixteen years ago)

also lol

― bear say hi to me (ENBB), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:27 (sixteen years ago)

haha tbf cank i am only slightly embarrassed that i used to be a horrible misanthropic self-serving prick

― afa the i can c (roxymuzak), Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:41 (sixteen years ago)

i am more than slightly embarrassed that i used to be a horrible misanthropic self-serving prick.

― sarahel, Saturday, 28 November 2009 22:56 (sixteen years ago)

To be honest, I don't get this question. I mean, what's the use, really? If you love'em, wouldn't you try to be... nice to'em.

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 28 November 2009 23:06 (sixteen years ago)

i think the question is "have you ever" not "why would you ever" or "is it a good idea"

― afa the i can c (roxymuzak), Saturday, 28 November 2009 23:11 (sixteen years ago)

I definitely did this when I was a lot younger as a means of testing whether the guy really liked me.

― sarahel, Saturday, 28 November 2009 23:16 (sixteen years ago)

Did it out of cowardice when I was too worried about hurting someone to dump him. Realised it was hurting him more; dumped him. Not proud of putting it off so long.

― ljubljana, Saturday, 28 November 2009 23:58 (sixteen years ago)

did it as part of dumping - possibly bcz it'd felt hard on me for long enough that I started feeling all like "fuck you, you should feel this too". Which was pretty much an object lesson in how much of a dick i become in ~relationships~.

― lords of hyrule (c sharp major), Sunday, 29 November 2009 00:16 (sixteen years ago)

one year passes...

I have done this although not necessarily consciously.

― ‎\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:00 (fifteen years ago)

i'm not gonna lie, I sometimes did the subconscious 'obvious dig through song lyrics' thing on facebook now and then with my g/f two exes ago, but I stopped pretty early on when i realized how childish it was

― show me your ticks (San Te), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:02 (fifteen years ago)

oh never through facebook just you know ~in general~

― ‎\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:03 (fifteen years ago)

ugh today is not the day i wanted to see some of my posts itt

― bouquet brigade (electricsound), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:03 (fifteen years ago)

sorry :[

― ‎\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:04 (fifteen years ago)

in person, I did some dickish things now and then, can't remember many specifics tho. but it wasn't a regular thing...

― show me your ticks (San Te), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:06 (fifteen years ago)

I feel like I was doing this a lot this last Fall, actually.

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:06 (fifteen years ago)

I'm pretty bad at relationships though

― show me your ticks (San Te), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:06 (fifteen years ago)

If siblings count as "person you loved" then let me tell you guys, I have two sisters.

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:08 (fifteen years ago)

lol

x-post yeah, so am I as it turns out

― ‎\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:08 (fifteen years ago)

People are complicated.
― C J (C J), Friday, November 10, 2006 7:16 AM

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

― markers, Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:15 (fifteen years ago)

seems so obv but truth fucking bomb

― ‎\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:16 (fifteen years ago)

women be shoppiiiiiiiiin

― show me your ticks (San Te), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:17 (fifteen years ago)

emo blog entry was created to AVOID whining in public

― ilx get on my lvl (roxymuzak), Thursday, December 30, 2010 6:33 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark

;)

― bnw, Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:24 (fifteen years ago)

It's my fucking post and I'll whine in public if I want to OK bud?

― ‎\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:26 (fifteen years ago)

what a fun thread this is

― HOOS the master?? STEEN NUFF (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:32 (fifteen years ago)

have you ever consciously tried to make a person you loved in a relationship hard?

― emma goldbond (San Te), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:33 (fifteen years ago)

I tht bnw was having a go at roxy not you E. But I dont know whats going on anywhere anymore.

― Stargazey Pi (Trayce), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:37 (fifteen years ago)

oh i don't know either - he very well may have been

I'm all sick and sensitive and shit

― ‎\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:39 (fifteen years ago)

have you ever consciously tried to make a person you loved in a relationship hard?

Isn't that the point?

― Rotating & Blunders (MintIce), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:47 (fifteen years ago)

that shit happens magically without my conscious effort

― mookieproof, Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:49 (fifteen years ago)

i knew erections were the result of magic

― emma goldbond (San Te), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:50 (fifteen years ago)

^^^ tmi board descrip plz plz

― HOOS the master?? STEEN NUFF (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:57 (fifteen years ago)

What's up ENBB? You are always so good at tea and sympathy for ilxors that are sad and thinkin baout things... ilxors also good at helping ENBB's imo. What's goin on?

― VegemiteGrrrl, Tuesday, 25 January 2011 03:58 (fifteen years ago)

Does passive aggressive behavior count as "trying"?

― hey boys, suppers on me, our video just went bacterial (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 04:01 (fifteen years ago)

If siblings count as "person you loved" then let me tell you guys, I have two sisters.

OTM, just as my sister.

Who was papa november on this thread?

― go peddle your bullshit somewhere else sister (Laurel), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 14:30 (fifteen years ago)

kate (australian version)

― bouquet brigade (electricsound), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 21:01 (fifteen years ago)

I am pretty shitty to my sisters sometimes on purpose

― homosexual II, Tuesday, 25 January 2011 21:10 (fifteen years ago)

Although now that I don't live with one of them it's a lot better

― homosexual II, Tuesday, 25 January 2011 21:11 (fifteen years ago)

FWIW I would like to clarify that I do love my sisters. And the last time I made it hard on the youngest one I feel it was justified: she'd gone on the news to talk about why gay people shouldn't be able to marry. >:(

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 23:58 (fifteen years ago)

Yeah I'd be outright chiding someone for that. I do it to my mum all the time but I have no tact and I just end up yelling and ruining my point :(

― Stargazey Pi (Trayce), Wednesday, 26 January 2011 00:07 (fifteen years ago)

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