last instructions you flagrantly disregarded

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COOKIE DOUGH CONTAINS RAW INGREDIENTS
BAKE BEFORE CONSUMING

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:37 (nineteen years ago)

PUT PANTS BACK ON

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:40 (nineteen years ago)

YOU ARE IN A PUBLIC PLACE

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:40 (nineteen years ago)

i was told i needed to boil my lentils twice, rinsing between each boiling session, but i didnt do that and i hope i dont die.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:47 (nineteen years ago)

That's not to prevent death, just to prevent them tasting like dirt.

― aesthetically pleasing, in other words 'fly' (kenan), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.marco.org/images/ikeapeople.png

― aesthetically pleasing, in other words 'fly' (kenan), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:50 (nineteen years ago)

DO ASAP

― Django Blowhardt (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

the page has been submitted
please do not click again

― stoked for the madness (nickalicious), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:53 (nineteen years ago)

Do not make fuck to rectangular prism until it cracks, gently stroke it on rug.

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

Make 10 cm gauge.

Did a 5 cm one.

Discover that project is much too large.

Frog piece and start all over again.

(Knitting project)

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

well i just ate the lentils, they didnt taste like dirt.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:57 (nineteen years ago)

DO NOT CONNECT DIGITAL CAMERA TO COMPUTER WITHOUT FIRST INSTALLING CANON SOFTWARE AND DRIVERS

I still haven't done that shit and it works fine.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 16 November 2006 19:59 (nineteen years ago)

UNPLUG YOUR PEDALS

― wordy rappinghood (roxymuzak), Thursday, 16 November 2006 20:02 (nineteen years ago)

roxy rox on 4 eva.

― researching ur life (grady), Thursday, 16 November 2006 20:06 (nineteen years ago)

GET WORKING ON THIS FOR ME OK? LET ME KNOW HOW IT'S GOING.

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 16 November 2006 20:07 (nineteen years ago)

Peel back corner of plastic film to vent. Microwave on high two minutes. Remove plastic film and stir. Rotate tray. Microwave on high two minutes. Stir. Let sit one minute.

IF I WANTED TO DEAL WITH COMPLICATED INSTRUCTIONS, I WOULD JUST COOK FOR REAL, LEAN CUISINE!

― Party Time Country Female (pullapartgirl), Thursday, 16 November 2006 20:11 (nineteen years ago)

RTFM!!!
That's what my genius (truly) computer prof. tells every one of his students. His manual actually makes sense.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Thursday, 16 November 2006 20:11 (nineteen years ago)

UNPLUG YOUR PEDALS

haha, similarly

Turn off phantom power before powering down mixer.

(If I did this it wouldn't make that kickass WWWWWWWWWWwwwwwww...... noise.)

― stoked for the madness (nickalicious), Thursday, 16 November 2006 20:12 (nineteen years ago)

PLEASE GET THIS PROPOSAL OUT BEFORE YOU GO SURFING.

― researching ur life (grady), Thursday, 16 November 2006 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

Aimurchie, does yr prof actually say the acronym, like "Are tea eff em?" Because that would be so great it might knock the sun right out of orbit.

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 16 November 2006 20:41 (nineteen years ago)

Keep your legs together.

(No, really, this was the midwife's advice to me to ease hip/pelvis pain in pregnancy. But she was 8 months too late I fear...)

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 November 2006 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

(ooh archel this yoga pose really helps: http://yoga.about.com/od/yogaposes/a/pigeon.htmhttp://yoga.about.com/od/yogaposes/a/pigeon.htm )

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 16 November 2006 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.marco.org/images/ikeapeople.png
^^^^ ok I can't be the only person who thinks that bookshelf just cock-crushed that dude whenever I read these instructions. IKEA: sadists.

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 16 November 2006 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

cock-crushed!

― stoked for the madness (nickalicious), Thursday, 16 November 2006 21:53 (nineteen years ago)

is that the new "man-crush"?

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 16 November 2006 22:00 (nineteen years ago)

bookshelf just cock-crushed that dude

nicka's new handle, obv.

― researching ur life (grady), Thursday, 16 November 2006 22:00 (nineteen years ago)

call the agent every time you withdraw an application

― Chesty Joe Morgan (Chesty Joe Morgan), Thursday, 16 November 2006 22:29 (nineteen years ago)

"Do not leave candle burning unattended."

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 16 November 2006 23:49 (nineteen years ago)

"Smoking causes emphysema - quit now"

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 16 November 2006 23:57 (nineteen years ago)

"May cause drowsiness. Do not exceed prescribed dosage."

― Jaq (Jaq), Friday, 17 November 2006 00:47 (nineteen years ago)

Do not make fuck to rectangular prism until it cracks, gently stroke it on rug.

That's the part I disregarded.

― aesthetically pleasing, in other words 'fly' (kenan), Friday, 17 November 2006 00:49 (nineteen years ago)

I like the friend who's helping him move. He has a unibutt.

― aesthetically pleasing, in other words 'fly' (kenan), Friday, 17 November 2006 00:51 (nineteen years ago)

TURN BACK YOU POXY FULE

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Friday, 17 November 2006 01:11 (nineteen years ago)

excerpt from cocktail party invite, i mean, E-vite, sent last week from a friend: "...you bring your beautiful selves plus an item from the list or a bottle of something unlisted. N.B. No beer allowed! Hope to see you there. ..."

my E-response:
"i will be there. WITH WHISKEY. + lemons. may need to bring a beer or two though b/c whiskey and later some beer = happiness. amirite? will prob bring 1-3 more friendz also. i mean, real people, not "friendz" that are actually more bottles of booze."

he told me earlier today on the phone that a co-worker of his read that and was like, "who's the fratboy friend of yours, omg. you even said no beer!"
hahahaha
sometimes i love having an androgynous name

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Friday, 17 November 2006 01:17 (nineteen years ago)

omg only fratboyeez drink beerz.

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 17 November 2006 01:19 (nineteen years ago)

Those DIY instructions just remind me of the Armando Iannucci sketch in which a Bloke inadvertantly nails himself to a wardrobe and chooses to be carried away in a skip and dumped, still nailed, into a landfill rather than reveal his mistake to his wife.

Youtube is no help this time.

― Nicholas Passant (Nicholas Passant), Friday, 17 November 2006 01:23 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, i know, haha. i asked my friend why he was inviting lame co-workers to his party. he said that she wasn't lame. i said, well i'll be the judge of that. har.
but should eradicate these thoughts from brain b/c otherwise i'm just going to be obnoxious drunk. which also goes against MY OWN rules (2006 version). uh oh.
xpost

― breeze blown meadow of cheeriness (rrrobyn), Friday, 17 November 2006 01:34 (nineteen years ago)

NO SWEARING B4 9PM KITTY

― teh_kit (g-kit), Friday, 17 November 2006 10:43 (nineteen years ago)

DNFTT

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Friday, 17 November 2006 10:44 (nineteen years ago)

Not instructions, per se, but there is an unwritten rule about starting religious threads with non-traditional ideas expressed... really seems offensive to some people.

― Bobby Ganush (Uri Frendimein), Friday, 17 November 2006 10:45 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.marco.org/images/ikeapeople.png

Dude's so pissed off with Ikea about the crushed cock that he's about to blow it up but the fuckers forgot to include the plunger handle

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Friday, 17 November 2006 10:50 (nineteen years ago)

oracle 10g install instructions.

./runInstaller -ignoreSysPrereqs

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Friday, 17 November 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

simmer for 3-4mins,
er try 25mins

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 17 November 2006 11:09 (nineteen years ago)

"Don't order the rabbit, you can't eat Thumper"

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 17 November 2006 11:19 (nineteen years ago)

"Block her from your MSN"

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 17 November 2006 11:23 (nineteen years ago)

"Stick together team"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 17 November 2006 11:26 (nineteen years ago)

leave in for a minimum of 3 minutes. rinse.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Friday, 17 November 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

Be of good cheer.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Friday, 17 November 2006 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

Let go.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Friday, 17 November 2006 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

You guys (gasp)... go on without me (gasp)... save yourselves...

― ledge (ledge), Friday, 17 November 2006 15:18 (nineteen years ago)

defrost pastry in a frdige overnight. still, the pie was nice though/

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Friday, 17 November 2006 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

Heh, that reminds me: This packaging is not microwave safe

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Friday, 17 November 2006 15:57 (nineteen years ago)

Soak filter in cold water for 15 minutes.

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Friday, 17 November 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

stand clear of the closing doors

ouch

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Friday, 17 November 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

check out by 12:00

― Zora (Zora), Friday, 17 November 2006 17:18 (nineteen years ago)

"We should create a spreadsheet..."

but it's a document full of words and descriptions, spreadsheets are for numbers. you are just trying to break my head by making me use excel, i know. it's bad enough that i'm having to describe someone else's database columns because they couldn't be bothered to do it themselves...

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Friday, 17 November 2006 17:23 (nineteen years ago)

Haha Koogs, I use Excel for all kinds of text only things cos I don't know how to use tables in word (and I like the sorting functionality). Some people find this habit annoying.

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Friday, 17 November 2006 17:27 (nineteen years ago)

(excel did put the pasted text into individual boxes when i pasted it in from, er, vim. whereas word just slapped it all in the first box in the table. guess i'm using excel then... note to self - F2 to edit text. alt-ENTER (NOT ctrl-ENTER) to split lines. sigh.)

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Friday, 17 November 2006 17:37 (nineteen years ago)

We are currently experiencing unprecedented levels of traffic to the National Lottery website. Please wait a few minutes and click on http://www.national-lottery.co.uk to try again.

No I will not wait I need my eurobazillions ticket now!

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 17 November 2006 18:10 (nineteen years ago)

"season well and serve with lemon wedges"

fuck that. a tiny bit of pepper and some jif lemon juice. smoked fish risotto, if you care. delicious, too.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 17 November 2006 22:42 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.trsrockin.com/images/link_peep_item.jpg

― wordy rappinghood (roxymuzak), Saturday, 18 November 2006 19:05 (nineteen years ago)

rinse carrots before eating.

sorry dudes, i gots ta hustle.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 18 November 2006 23:14 (nineteen years ago)

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