Time: Last day of 8th grade, last period of school
Setting: Band room
It was a sort of a "fun day", or it was supposed to be. No music playing. The class, about 70-80 students strong, was talking with each other, the teacher was telling jokes, the atmosphere was generally light-hearted.
Then, young Zach, who still hadn't hit puberty and had just barely breached the 5-foot barrier, thought of something.
For some reason, I raised my hand and went on some long monologue about how the different instruments all had nicknames, and where these nicknames came from. Saxophones were saxes...um...I can't think of any more. Trust me, I named at least 4 or 5 different instruments and nicknames. Why I was thinking of this, much less why I decided to bring it up out loud, I have no good explanation.
Then I decided to bring up the Trombone, and its nickname that I had thought of: The Boner.
I said "Boner" out loud, and everyone started cracking up. The laughter got louder and louder, went on for the longest time, wouldn't let it up. Even the teacher, she was laughing. I could have went down as a legend for saying Boner out loud to a teacher, but unfortunately there was a problem: I didn't know what a boner was. I started yelling "What? What's so funny about Boner? What?!" Everytime I repeated the word Boner and asked what it was, the laughter got louder.
No one discusses cool things like sex and condoms and euphemisms for erections with people who haven't hit puberty yet in the 8th grade. It's a very lonely time.
Anyways, in the middle of the chaotic hooting and screaming laughter, the bell mercifully rang, and school was let out for the Summer.
― Zachary Scott (Zach S), Monday, 20 November 2006 01:26 (nineteen years ago)
six years pass...
wow zach that was a good story
i had a similar time when i said the lunch aid looked like stone (she just had this very severe Polish face, like she never cracked a smile)
but they all thought i said she looked stoned
and everyone was laughing for like 10 minutes, but i had no idea what being stoned meant
it was all v weird
― surm, Monday, 29 April 2013 23:12 (twelve years ago)
whoa! that setting is so similar to one of mine: 8th grade, music room, the chairs are arranged on either side of the room with a column down the middle. i sat down on one side and everyone in the entire class sat down on the other side because no one liked me that week or whatever. this was already pretty humiliating so i stayed completely still the entire class period, not moving at all from how i had originally sat, with one leg tucked underneath me. when it was time to get up and return our hymn books to the front of the room, one row at a time, i'm obviously first and alone, and i discovered that my leg had fallen asleep and it was just useless and i lurched and knocked over a ton of chairs with my dead leg, metal folding chairs, and they all clanged together for like sixty million years and everyone laughed
― ehkarl, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 00:29 (twelve years ago)
also eighth grade: one day, having run out of foundation and not even entertaining the possibility of not wearing makeup to school, i substituted brown eyeshadow. it looked pretty good in my room. after having been at school for a couple hours i went to the bathroom and realized it actually just looked like i had brown eyeshadow all over my face.
― ehkarl, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 00:31 (twelve years ago)