I would have EXCELSIORS with all this ILXors (phase 2 for the nu year)

Cassowaries also have horrid, useless vestigial wings which hide under their long feathers. They are basically like a 10" long creepy human finger with a curved black claw at the end.

See, cassowaries have many disturbing things hiding, many of which are secret even to me, I am certain. Whereas the crummy mandrill constantly draws attention to its obviousness and stupid colored ass with its loud screams for undeserved attention. It is the quiet animals one should be afraid of!

-- Abbott, January 4th, 2007 6:32 PM.

-- Abbott, January 4th, 2007 6:36 PM.

-- mahalo 4 ur kokua (goforgrad...) (webmail), Yesterday 6:34 PM. (grady) (later) (link)

let's be sure to recreate that nifty little dreamgirls thread

-- spectre (speed.to.roa...) (webmail), Yesterday 7:24 PM. (gear) (later) (link)

ooo
-- Alba

lol like that had ever stopped anyone on this thread.

the first 'excelsior isn't funny' comment on nu-old-ilx?

xpost

and then she'd steal the sink.
-- VALLEY OF BLIZZARDZ (whateve...), January 4th, 2007. (later)

and all your bright eyes cds.
-- ian johnson's mom + jack bauer 2gether 4evah (flembac...), January 4th, 2007. (later)

I'd totally have been OK with that ten years ago.
-- milo z (wooderso...), January 4th, 2007. (later)

OTM^^^^^
-- VALLEY OF BLIZZARDZ (whateve...), January 4th, 2007

Louis for hip-hop seek out Ugly Duckling and the mighty El-P. Some Outkast is hot but avoid the earlier rubbish. Beck's stuff is a bit too misogynistic and aggressive for me but i'm down with Atmosphere (kinda like Eminem but more indie y'know).

-- and whut (n...), January 4th, 2007. (later)

Yeah, I'll definitely follow that lead.

-- You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (papiermachealamphibia...)

-- clotpoll (ocran...), January 4th, 2007. (later)

au contraire

-- reverto levidensis (n...), January 4th, 2007. (later)

ffs and aaargh

someone explain w/o sarcasm? or should i have realised my own douchery by now?

-- StanM (Stan10...) (webmail), January 5th, 2007 2:36 AM.

Only cause I was quickly scrolling thru a thread.

-- reverto levidensis (n...), January 5th, 2007 1:42 PM. (blueski) (later)

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), September 13th, 2006 4:10 AM. (epicharmus)

-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), January 5th, 2007 3:57 PM.

There's my theory that CJ is Michael Jackson in disguise blown out of the proverbial water.

-- Tim (hopkinsti...), January 5th, 2007 3:59 PM.

Although I may be deliberately misleading you here, for my own amusement. (I said that in a high pitched squeaky voice, btw)

-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), January 5th, 2007 4:02 PM.

(It's OK, I think you're Jonathan King really.)

-- Tim (hopkinsti...), January 5th, 2007 4:03 PM.

-- VALLEY OF BLIZZARDZ (whateve...) (webmail), January 5th, 2007 11:25 AM. (Mr.Que) (later) (link)

Is Snow Patrol important?

They are if you've been trapped under a canopy of frehsly avalanched snow or fractured your tibia on a treacherous mogul. Otherwise, no.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), June 3rd, 2004.

-- nabisco (--...), January 5th, 2007.

-- Shakey Mo Collier (aud...), January 4th, 2007.

why dont you get to work on that

-- and what (an...), January 4th, 2007.

-- Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr...) (webmail), January 5th, 2007. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

when the devil whispers...

-- You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (papiermachealamphibia...) (webmail), January 5th, 2007. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok nevermind I forgot how creepy you are.

-- Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr...) (webmail), January 5th, 2007. (link)

Second of all, virgins are not allowed to judge what is and is not an orgasm face.

guts are AWESOME xpost

-- Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr...), January 5th, 2007 8:39 PM. (scarymonsterrr)

Jessie, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH PR0N FFS

;-)

-- You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (papiermachealamphibia...), January 5th, 2007 8:40 PM. (Haberdager)

dude never make a winky face at me again.

-- Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr...), January 5th, 2007 8:41 PM. (scarymonsterrr)

Now I'm coming for your children.

;-) ;-) ;-)

*sigh*

=D Teeny.

Remember the brief Hush Puppy craze in the post-Grunge hangover period? Market researchers were able to trace the consumer blip back to a window-rattling collective shudder and wince amongst the indie massive after Kirk Kobaine's suicide in Converse One-Stars. "I would not want to die like that sprawled and sacrificial, at least not in a pair of child's kickball shoes like those I wouldn't", we thought to ourselves. your next birfday cheque from Gran went on a pair of brown or black suede hush puppy substitute teacher shoes, a combustible edison record and your first Bombay Gin martini. "Fuck this K records life I've been leading", you told yourself as the bartender maraca'ed your blue highball into a high-stemmed glass. "I was not meant to live amongst the horn-rimmed suicides of my generation. My imported skinhead boot days are over, my celibate days are over, my bip- bopping one-star days are over. These hush puppies on my feet will walk me down the aisle, walk me up the ladder to the olde style steakhouse of busty broads and cigars and martoonies but it'll be hipper than grandad's, with DJ's and lesbians and Charlie Manson jokes and cocaine."

-- yves, Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

why take wang out with 2 out and no one on in the ninth?

-- mookieproof, Monday, 18 June 2007 03:29 (11 hours ago) Bookmark Link

The single most awesome post I ever came acorss on any internet board went like this: "Cows are such WANKERS they don't even RUN if you THROW STICKS at them."

-- Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:14 (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

OWLS ARE ASSHOLES

-- Alan, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:17 (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

WITH THEIR BIG FUCKING EYES, WHY NOT HAVE SMALLER EYES? WANKERS.

-- Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 16:18 (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i am about to get fired here people

http://image.blingee.com/images11/content/output/2007/6/18/208499020_f94fbd6d.gif

-- gr8080, Monday, June 18, 2007 12:06 AM (21 hours ago) Bookmark Link

OK that

http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0356680/FS-197.jpg

*masturbates sadly

-- Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Tuesday, June 19, 2007 12:24 AM (2 minutes ago)

guys the point of Wile E. Coyote is that he's always shit out of luck, but all he needs is that one lucky strike and there's gonna be a bloody as fuck Roadrunner massacre and WEC will feast hungrily on roadrunner brains splattered all over an ACME anvil, then when the smoke clears and the carnage ends the Coyote's still gonna be hungry, another Roadrunner will be sacrificed in the name of his insatiable desire for bird blood, and there will still be genocide in Darfur. Nobody's the winner here, folks.

-- Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 05:00 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

sodomy beef

-- gershy, Monday, June 18, 2007 7:14 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

is it true vordul got sonned by a wite kid after a sodomy beef?

PEOPLE PEOPLE!!!!!!!! IM NOT A HUGE MISSY FAN, BUT I DO LIKE THE SONG..BUT ISN'T OBVIOUS FOR ALL YOU "TRUE" FANS.......SOUND IT OUT..IT'S "I PUT THING DOWN FLIP IT AND REVERSE" BACKWARDS DON'T TRY TO SOUND IT OUT AS SEPARATE WORDS BUT ALL AS ONE WORD...........TRUST ME!!!!! reversdnapilfnwodgnihttupI (THE SMART ONES WILL GET IT~

-- Rose, Saturday, 12 October 2002 11:51 (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

"I put thing down flip and sever"???

or rather "srever"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha suckas!
super proud to be from Baltimore!-

the hype master

-- hype master, Monday, May 20, 2002 12:00 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

http://base58.com/ilx/iamthesmallcat1.jpg
-- blueski, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 5:45 PM (6 minutes ago)

That has to be some new post to excelsiorizing land speed record.

my dad calls it "dope," as in, "max, why did you eat this whole box of croutons without any salad? stop smoking so much dope."

-- max, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 3:26 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

That has to be some new post to excelsiorizing land speed record.

when chlumsky dissed your confit, your confit had been most properly dissed, my friend.

scott seward on Friday, March 9, 2007 10:32 AM (5 seconds ago)

-- Dimension 5ive, Friday, March 9, 2007 11:35 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

WOW. I stand corrected.

i will beat it

As I write this letter,
Send my love to you,
Remember that I'll always,
Be in love with you.

Treasure these few words 'til we're together,
Keep all my love forever,
P.S., I love you.
You, you, you.

I'll be coming home again to you, love,
And 'til the day I do, love,
P.S., I love you.
You, you, you.

As I write this letter,
Send my love to you,
Remember that I'll always,
Be in love with you.

Treasure these few words 'til we're together,
Keep all my love forever,
P.S., I love you.
You, you, you.

As I write this letter, (Oh oh oh)
Send my love to you, (You know I want you to)
Remember that I'll always, (Yeah)
Be in love with you.

I'll be coming home again to you, love,
And 'til the day I do, love,
P.S., I love you.
You, you, you.
You, you, you.
I love you.

P.S., i am the small cat

-- blueski, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 4:35 PM (2 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Spy Hunter.

I did not read any answers. That's how confident I am.

At least read the question: driver's perspective racing game

-- onimo, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 18:28 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

That's how I roll.

-- dean ge, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 18:29 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

OK this small cat thing is completely doing my head in hahaa wtf.

Nixon on a coin would be great because then you could use them as "fuck you currency" whenever you want to implicitly state that a particular vendor of goods or services can go and fuck themselves, like paying the phone bill with a box of pennies, only moreso

-- TOMBOT, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 16:22 (7 hours ago) Link

You could "give them the Richard", as it were!

-- Neil S, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 16:23 (7 hours ago) Link

even accidentally using nixon money in any other situation would constitute a gross breach of etiquette

-- TOMBOT, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 16:23 (7 hours ago) Link

It could also be used for bribes, backhanders, slush funds etc.

-- Neil S, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 16:24 (7 hours ago) Link

I'd like to pay for that $9 pack of cigarettes with a few Nixons

-- kenan, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 16:25 (7 hours ago) Link

except perhaps vending machines. people would keep their nixon coins separate from the rest of their change to avoid giving them to other human beings, reserving them for machine coffee, cherry pepsi and little busted-up bags of fritos

-- TOMBOT, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 16:25 (7 hours ago) Link

they could all be two faced and called "tricky dicks" (sorry)

-- bnw, Wednesday, 20 June 2007 16:28 (7 hours ago) Link

Classic Skot:

if you have a problem with "cookie monster" vocals go somewhere else and fuck off and die!

-- scott seward, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:39 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

but know that i love you.

-- scott seward, Thursday, 21 June 2007 08:40 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

is that a quote from the vagina kenanlogues

-- estela, Thursday, 21 June 2007 12:00 (58 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

So I'm doing some work at an unnamed coffee shop in Lincoln Park tonight, and it turns out that it's the open mic night, and the guy onstage -- and I really try to defend all the regular joes of Lincoln Park from all the labels -- but he's wearing a Bluetooth on one ear and doing heartfelt covers of "What's Going On" (4 Non-Blondes version) and now "Walking In Memphis".

-- Eazy, Thursday, June 21, 2007 3:36 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I think it's possible to complete Postal2 without killing anyone, but fuck that tbh.

-- onimo, Thursday, 21 June 2007 11:55 (33 minutes ago)

From "Scarface" thread:

MUNI
-- Dr Morbius, Terça-feira, 19 de Junho de 2007 18:37 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

-CH
-- s1ocki, Terça-feira, 19 de Junho de 2007 18:38 (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

O Wrinklepaws. O judge. O Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad
O Wrinklepaws. O judge. O Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad

-- scott seward, Thursday, June 21, 2007 7:57 AM (6 minutes ago)

and I said "Hello, who is this really?"

and the voice said....

-- Mark G, Thursday, June 21, 2007 8:01 AM (2 minutes ago)

Old thread reading on a sick day turns up this jewel:

Michael, have you ever sat, red-faced and full of Cointreau, atop a bidet while stuffing your face with pheasant and quail eggs? A little Edith Piaf on the victrola? You're among friends.

Alas, no. My first encounter with a bidet was in Brussels in the summer of '84. I was staying in the staid little home in the suburb of Woluwe-St. Pierre of some friends of my grandfather in their upstairs guest room. I had come home from a day of adolescent tourism (I believe I drank beer in the Grande Place and ogled the pulchritude which is the teenage female form) and after dinner retired upstairs to discretely smoke some weed and engage in some comparative literature, namely that of reading the same Asterix and Obelix in Latin and Dutch to see if I could figure out the plot. All of a sudden my bowels, delicate entrails of American manufacture unused to the vicissitudes of Belgian beer and fries, made it known that they would need to be voided forthwith. A cursory glance at the bathroom upon my arrival had led me to believe it contained all the usual amenities associated with such a procedure. In a curious and unexpected bit of bathroom design, it actually contained only a small shower, a sink and a bidet. The urgency of my bowels left me no other alternative but to deposit a large, steaming shit in the porcelain embrace of the bidet too large and too dense to contemplate rinsing down the drain.

So, I made my way downstairs past the den where my hosts were watching TV and went into the kitchen. The hostess, partly out of hospitality and partly to protect the sanctity of her spotless kitchen asked if she could get me anything and I called out loudly (too loudly) that I was just geting a glass of water and started rummaging around for some plastic bags which I quickly and thankfully found right next to the garbage and stuffed into my pockets just as she came in. She pointed out the cupboard where the glasses were and watched me as I sheepishly drank my glass of water.

At that point my eart sank since I knew it would be impossible to smuggle my turd downstairs that night without arousing her suspicion so I went upstairs, bagged my shit, washed my hands, closed the door and went to bed. The next morning she came to wake me and tell me they were off to work and suggested that I take the bike from the garden and take the tram out to ride through the woods all the while pretending she didn't notice the funk which I smelled emanating from the bathroom. Later I snuck my shame downstairs to the toilet, rinsed out the bag and put it inside the second one and wriggled into the middle of the garbage. Then I took the bike and went to the woods where I drank beer at a monastery with a lake full of swans under the summer sunlight dappled by the canopy of spreading leaves and relaxed. Also, I don't like Cointreau.

-- M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, July 6, 2005 12:35 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

you're not a mom

-- river wolf, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 11:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link
Delete Undelete Ban User User Info

you own a cat

-- river wolf, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 11:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link
Delete Undelete Ban User User Info

'you're not a mom,' said the wolf sternly, 'you own a cat.'

-- estela, Thursday, June 21, 2007 12:03 AM (12 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Pitchfork 3-day pass needed

I thought this thread was gonna be about insufferable old people getting all warm and fuzzy about "Jane Says" and "How Soon Is Now."

-- Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, June 21, 2007 12:56 PM (5 minutes ago)

Whiney 8080

"Possum Kingdom" in the sex scene, plz.

-- David R., Thursday, June 21, 2007 12:59 PM (2 minutes ago)

i swear i read someplace that sake is hangover proof.

-- river wolf, Thursday, June 21, 2007 4:54 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

rw, that is cooking sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Steve Shasta, Thursday, June 21, 2007 4:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

haha, pwned

i bought it at the gas station!

-- river wolf, Thursday, June 21, 2007 5:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

It's probably not even sake, then. It's like, rice-gasahol or something. Did you get it from one of the pumps?

Chris Martin's from just outside Exeter, but the other dudes aren't.

-- Scik Mouthy, Thursday, 21 June 2007 23:20 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Yeah, they were assembled in South Korea I think.

-- Noodle Vague, Thursday, 21 June 2007 23:24 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

you are funny little men, you lot

-- lex pretend, Thursday, 21 June 2007 21:36 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

we learned it by watching you, dad

-- strongohulkington, Thursday, 21 June 2007 21:38 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b6/Cruncheroos_Honey_and_Almonds_Box.jpg

-- Will M., Friday, June 22, 2007 8:33 AM (3 minutes ago)

I never thought I would see the day where a hip, with-it purple dinosaur could sexually violate a bowl of cereal.

-- HI DERE, Friday, June 22, 2007 8:34 AM (1 minute ago)

aka "check out the sex face on this dinosaur"

-- HI DERE, Friday, June 22, 2007 8:35 AM (1 minute ago)

dan if that's your definition of a sex face, you have a forgiving wife

-- strongohulkington, Friday, June 22, 2007 8:36 AM (4 seconds ago)

that clown is about to go down on that cereal

-- Mr. Que, Friday, June 22, 2007 3:40 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the cruncheroos dinosaur sex face is causing me physical pain from trying not to get fired

Miel et amandes

Cruncheroos dino is the cereal mascot industry's analogue to Pepe Le Pew

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v134/tracerhand/almorbs.jpg

by the unbeatable tracer "hates cap'n crunch" hand!

OMG.

bad teethamix

-- strongohulkington, Friday, June 22, 2007 12:40 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Hey fuck you in a bowl of Vegemite flavoured Cheerios Jess!

-- Trayce, Friday, June 22, 2007 12:40 PM (8 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

^^^
That has to be some new post to excelsiorizing land speed record.

-- John Justen, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 5:59 PM

this poll is a lil gay

-- The Macallan 18 Year, Friday, 22 June 2007 17:23 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

you're a lil gay

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 22 June 2007 17:27 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I am the lil gay

-- Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 22 June 2007 17:28 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Oh god excelsiored when I am drunk heh.

Haha that reminds me of how we all used to say "das vodenya" (sp, wtf) before drinking, however it is you say "goodbye" in russian.

-- Trayce, Saturday, 23 June 2007 03:29 (3 hours ago) Link