Can I Have Your Autograph?

Floella Benjamin.

Rt Hon David Steel MP, when I was 12. I didn't have an autograph book so he signed a till receipt from the co-op, and since it was for my mum's weekly shop and quite long he signed it twice.

Used to collect autographs as a kid and either I'd write for signed photos or I'd send away my autograph book hence I have Benny Hill, Morecambe and Wise, BBC Breakfast Time presenters, TV-AM presenters, Blue Peter presenters, Radio 1 DJs, Motherwell, Hamilton Accies and Aberdeen European Cup Winners Cup winning squad etc. All from the 80s pretty much.

I got Pete Best to sign a Beatles bootleg that he appeared on and the last person I got to sign something was Martin Carr at a Brave Captain gig. He signed a 10" he was selling at shows. On the whole though I'm not that bothered about autographs these days and although I'm good at spotting famous folk in the street I tend to leave them alone. Can never think of anything I could say that would make stopping them seem worthwhile

When my brother was 4 he really liked David Icke on Breakfast Time for some reason. This was before the turquiose tracksuit stuff. My Mum wrote to him to say how much of a fan my brother was and he sent back a signed Ladybird ABC book as well as a signed photo which I thought was above and beyond what you would expect in such a situation.

Shame he turned out to be mad.

Mostly football related, I'm afraid. Bill Shankly, Dixie Dean and Ron Atkinson are the major ones (the first two at a local charity match in the mid-70s which I don't really remember [Jimmy Hill scored for the celeb team], the third at a West Brom vs Preston league cup replay in 1980). For years the Shankly and Dean ones were stored between the pages of the 1974 Guinness Book of Records, but that slowly fell apart and the autographs were lost.

I suspect I may have done some indie-band bothering in the early 90s, but I'm blocking that.

I like to get band members to sign their records, they don't have to be particularly famous, I just like the idea of having them sign their work - it's a nice way of personalising a homogenous product. The last two bands I did this with were the Lucksmiths (Marty Donald) and Superchunk (Laura Ballance).

I got Ken Dohertys autograph once and then defaced it by writing "this is to certify Ronan pissed on me at pool signed:". I still have it.

I got man or astro-man? to sign a record.

i saw p. diddy on sunday. i did not ask him for his autograph.

i was in a french fry joint last night which had many autographs on wall from such luminaries as bebe and cece winans and vanity. oh the humanity. i'm eatin here!

mmm, french fry joints.

I once got a BSO program signed by Rene Pape. I also have a paper bag at home which was signed by all of the members of My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult.

I bought a used album once that had a flyer with Camper Van Beethoven's autographs in it?! That was odd.

I that rubbish second hand record shop about a hundred yards up the COwley Road in Oxford I once saw a copy of the Joshua Tree singed by Edge and Bonio. It did not increase (or sadly decrease) the resale value.

I have much of the early work of Radiohead signed with gold felt tip pen. I like to think that diminishes the resale value too.

I have a CD insert signed by the members of Ash which has been crumpled in the bottom of my car console for about 6 or 7 years.

One of the Transformers comic collections that I've got is signed by Simon Furman and Andrew Wildman.

Wait a sec...I did once que up to get the autographs of 80's rock giants the LITTLE ANGELS!!...it was Ealing HMV's only ever autograph session! They were giving out posters to sign and some people were buying their album...but poor 17 year old jel couldn't afford this, so by the time I got to the front all they had left was crappy cardboard cut outs (LP size, so it looked like you had the record!)...one of the band members looked at the cardboard and was very unimpressed that I hadn't bought their album! hehe! I was like "that's all they had left mate"...Also, whilst waiting in line I said very loudly to my friend "I bet they are getting paid for this"...and one of their hardcore fans turned round and said "no, they are not" (how dare you think such a thing!) I don't know where my signed piece of cardboard is anymore.

speaking of pissing of fans...that guy from Angel was signing stuff in Forbidden Planet and my friend was like "who is this"...so I said "I think it's Angle or something"...and middle aged bald guy turned around and said "no, it's Angel actually" (how dare you get the name of my hero wrong)...hehe...

pissing off, before y'all get pedantic on me!

Emma, Geri, Mel, Mel and Victoria, a spiceworld card a friend who worked on it gave me as a birday prez in 1998.

Joan Jett on a Runaways bootleg, but I think it's fake (the bootleg is TERRIBLE I got it for 50p somewhere).

CLRJames in a book, from a signing. Alan Garner, who my mum once met at a conference on children's books (actually it might have been someone else whose autograph she got, though she did talk to him).

Lots of bands (Banshees, Fall, Cure, Bunnymen, Mary Chain etc) while I was still in high school, in gold magic marker on an old black clutch purse, plus Morrissey (framed at home in Mpls, photo from Japanese magazine) and Peter O'Toole. Then I stopped.

I have autographed copies of Tiffany's first two 7" singles.

The whole Rangers squad circa 1989, but my grandpa's friend got me that. I don't think I have ever asked to have anything signed. Oh, there was a time when Airport Girl were trying to persuade me to buy one of their singles and I said I would if they signed it all. I think one of them wrote 'fuck off Ally'.

I have a baseball signed by both Roger Clemens and Bill Buckner. Marinate on that for a minute.

I have a ticket stub signed (initialed, actually) by Hunter S. Thompson.

And I have a Talking Heads poster made specifically for when they played at my college (circa '78) signed by Tina Weymouth. The sad part is Chris and Jerry were also at this record store signing, and for a large part of the appearance they were standing talking to each other with no one else around, and I was too chicken to approach them and get their sigs. Everyone was clustered around Tina so it was easy to shove the poster at her.

I've got a little book somewhere full of autographs of County and International cricketers of the early '70s. Unfortunately I spoiled it somewhat by writing who each one was underneath in slightly clumsy handwriting.

Oh that would add to the value surely? I spoilt Jesse Barfield's signature by WRITING OVER IT with a DARKER PEN because I was sure it would fade. * slaps forehead; is relieved when Barfield never becomes big star in the majors *

When I was 7 or 8 I asked three of the girls who were appearing in Up with People at my local high school to sign the album they were selling in the lobby .

I asked Michael "Then Came Bronson" to sign an album of his when he appeared at the photo agency I worked at in the late 80s. He was just about to start working on Twin Peaks. He overheard me in another room describing the album as "a pretty good country album" and signed it "To Arthur: 'A pretty good country album'. Thanks. Michael Parks."

Whenever a friend puts out a record, I try to get him/ her to sign it. But you've never heard of most of them.

I was going to say "no" but then remembered I have a Just Seventeen autographed by Manda Rin.

I forgot that I did get Gordie Howe's autograph, but it was nearly 20 years ago.

I like them to lick the records.

wasn't the Simpsons episode where Bart writes love letters to Miss Krabapple dedicated to Gordie Howe?

I have Keith Chegwin's autograph. It must date from 1982 or thereabouts and it was at an exhibition to celebrate 50 (or was it 60?) years of children's broadcasting at the BBC's Broadcasting House in Langham Place. It was quite a cool exhbition as I recall...I had the opportunity to operate Posh Paws (the dino from Swap Shop) and experiment with a Video Disk machine, shortly before Video Disk went the way of the eight-track.

I have / had an Andy Warhol signed book, but my friend and I both bought it, and she's struggling with MS now, so I'm not going to fight about it. Autographs don't mean that much to me anyway. She should just sell it to help pay her medical bills. I also won a signed Alanis Morrissette poster, but I threw it away and kept the frame, which now holds a Klee poster.