I Have Never Had Sex pt.2

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I'm forty-years-old and male. I have never had sex and I do care and want it very much.
(Ummm, maybe I should mention that I'm not good-looking enough. I couldn't probably find someone to have sex with if I really wanted to.)

― eyes (emekars), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.moderntimes.com/palace/50_image/marty.jpg

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

people who are frustrated at not getting any sex can call up a hooker, next question
-- Euai Kapaui (tracerhan...), January 17th, 2007 2:46 PM. (later)

― Zora (Zora), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

but hookers is disgusting!

― eyes (emekars), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

Don't knock the hustle!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.st-files.de/personen/starfleetpers/images/jameskirk_william2.jpg

― Tom D. (Dada), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

not fancy ones. just put a little money away each week. maybe you can do without that three dollar mochachino at lunch time.

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

damn, Tom, you beat me !

I'll post it anyway...

http://www.creativescreenwriting.com/csdaily/csdart/images/2005-08-Aug/TJ%20Hooker%20-%20That%20toupee%20is%20ready%20to%20spring%20into%20action%20(175w).jpg

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

Lots of ugly people have sex! Even dull ones with no personality! Who aren't even rich and famous! I mean, just look at me.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

Where have I been going wrong then, CJ?

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

You're not ugly, Kate. You're lovely. And talented.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

this reminds of a guy who related his experience with a hooker once (and how he couldn't get it up). i mean, i'm all for guys being open to girls and whatnot, but that was just too much fucking information for me to handle. it also seemed a somewhat stupid move if you try to hit on said girl.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

Original poster, when was the last time you tried to have sex with someone and what happened?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.pointsincase.com/images/blowup_doll.jpg

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:05 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry, crap joke. But come on, physical attraction does not matter.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

It does to me!

― Tom D. (Dada), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

"Original poster, when was the last time you tried to have sex with someone and what happened? "

we had 2 nice dates ( i think ) but she didnt answer my calls afterwards.

― eyes (emekars), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:15 (nineteen years ago)

Did you call? Or just simply wait and hope she would? Cause if so, then maybe she's waiting for you to make that call.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:22 (nineteen years ago)

(Not returning his calls generally means that he made a call in the first place.)

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:23 (nineteen years ago)

Oh shit, sorry, read that too fast. :-( Sorry. Don't worry about it, up to the next date! It just means it didn't click, that's all. There's someone (eh, no, LOTS of women) out there for you.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry to project, but there gets a point where you get sick of waiting for the "next date". The rejection can take a lot out of you, to the point where you just don't want to go through it any more.

Modern society's obsession with sexuality (see the other thread) has kind of washed over the sad and painful fact that some people may never end up partnered. And turned it into a perceived fault or shortcoming, rather than the fact that there may not be enough sexual partners to go around - or that some people are just unsuited for relationships, or whatever.

Sorry, that is all projection, I'm not trying to say anything about the original poster.

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:33 (nineteen years ago)

Blargh, sorry, why did I start posting on this thread? If anyone wants me, I'll be in the Pride and Prejudice thread with a bucket of Ben and Jerrys.

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

i blame society

― am0n (am0n), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:36 (nineteen years ago)

but hookers is disgusting!

Butt hookers is disgusting.

― Eazy (Eazy), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:42 (nineteen years ago)

just something, ever so whisperly connected. I was just checking hotel and flight prices to the States and how much staggeringly more I was paying (sometimes by £400) by travelling alone. wtf?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:45 (nineteen years ago)

Human society has been obsessed with sex and sexuality from the very beginning, read some of those stories from the Bible, they put us to shame for sheer freaky-deakiness (but they do not come close to topping the ancient Egyptians).

Ste, no one to split the bill with innit?

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

Tell me about it! Just trying to book a holiday - everything is based on "two people sharing" - so what do I do when there's just the one of me? Pay twice as much for a room?

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

kate, fancy coming to NYC?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:48 (nineteen years ago)

Not really, no. Though thanks. Do you fancy going on a boat trip to the Orkneys and Shetlands?

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

Can't you two think of some more practical way of meeting?

― Tom D. (Dada), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:50 (nineteen years ago)

I think you pay less. There is no one to impress with a romantic hotel breakfast, so you receive one piece of cold toast, which is cheaper.

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

If the original poster is only interesting in having sex rather than having a more-encompassing relationship with a woman, surely it's just a question of lowering the bar a bit and being prepared to shag any old trout who's prepared to drop her knickers for anyone after a couple of tequilas. Bars seem to be full of them on a Saturday night.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

actually the boat ride does sound better.

this is all stemming from horrific envy of my two best friends (who are a couple) going to Iceland at the end of the month.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

ooh, are you two hooking up? Is romance in the air?

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

Is this about the sequel to Madonna's book?

― Candy: tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candy. (Austin, Still), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

See what I mean by over-sexualisation? Can't even try to split costs on a holiday, or else face the jibes from others about "hooking up".

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

xpost Oh fuck! I know! Vanilla Ice will be replaced by Kevin Federline!

Kate, when I was single, I was from time to time so annoyingly depressed about being alone that I would drive my mum mad with my ramblings. She would repeatedly try to comfort me saying:"There's someone out there!" Well, how the fuck does she know? Ultimately she was right,but sometimes you just don't meet someone you want to spend the rest of yoru life with. So... I don't know, I mean, I understand what you mean (I think) which doesn't help you at all, I know. :-(

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

(I was only teasing!!)

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 16:18 (nineteen years ago)

This thread has taken another horrible turn for the depressing. Can I just be locked out of it, please?

― The Long Grey And Overcast Tea Time Of The Soul (kate), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

Beds on holiday are also cheaper for one. Since it is so staggeringly rare and strange for one person to be renting a room, the only single bed that most hotels have abroad is a rough plank that folds down from the bathroom door, which you can pad with towels.

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 16:29 (nineteen years ago)

The world is empty.

― DavidM* (unreal), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 16:58 (nineteen years ago)

That whole "there's someone out there for you" argument has always annoyed the hell out of me because it's so obviously complete bollocks. There are people who never meet someone; some are bothered about it, some aren't. I went through a horrible dry patch (as 'twere) in my late 20s/early 30s and I felt like I would never meet anyone who would want me ever again, and my friends and family would always use it on me.
Nowadays. I've reached the conclusion that if, as they say, all the good ones are taken, then I'm very obviously not one of the good ones.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

Don't even start with me. My mother has been praying since BEFORE I WAS BORN for "the" person I end up with, and tells me so all the time. "I wonder who he is? I just know he's out there, becoming the right person for you...your job, young lady, is to be the right person for HIM, so get cracking on the personal evolution." For many years I think she pitied him, actually.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

Tell me about it! Just trying to book a holiday - everything is based on "two people sharing" - so what do I do when there's just the one of me? Pay twice as much for a room?

Even for couples travel is stooopid. Hotels are designed for couples who can't stand each other—every hotel room with two gigantic beds. Big waste of space that I'd rather not pay for.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

I went through a horrible dry patch (as 'twere) in my late 20s/early 30s

This, I suspect, has more to do with the nature of one's late 20s/early 30s than anything else.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

Just wait until your sexual parts BECOME a horrible dry patch.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:04 (nineteen years ago)

I wish she'd been praying a little harder that I might meet "him" while I still have most of my own teeth (already missing a couple, so that's not a long timeline).

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:04 (nineteen years ago)

I think my mother's given up on me. That or she's developed tact at a late stage in life. Either I'll meet a woman whom I like and who can actually bear to be in my company, or I won't.

I'd like to, obviously. But I won't be holding my breath.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:41 (nineteen years ago)

If you just brushed your teeth once in a awhile you wouldn't need to.

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:43 (nineteen years ago)

Wow. You've met me.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:45 (nineteen years ago)

Stone Monkey -on a different thread, you once wrote the most poignant thing on ILE ever about sex and dating. I hope you don't mind if I quote it:

When I met the lass who just dumped me....and she agreed to date me, for a moment a certain amount of [admittedly misplaced] self-confidence kicked in and I thought to myself, "Maybe she's actually in my league and I've underestimated myself for the entirety of my adult life..."

Normal service has now resumed.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 18:50 (nineteen years ago)

That whole "there's someone out there for you" argument has always annoyed the hell out of me because it's so obviously complete bollocks.

No, it really isn't. Well, there's millions of people out there, so there's bound to be SOMEONE. But HOW DO YOU RECOGNIZE THAT PERSON, that's what pissed me off.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

laurel just because someone might be "the" one for you it doesn't necessarily mean you are "the" one for them. and vice versa.

― chicago kevin (chicago kevin), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 20:35 (nineteen years ago)

Tell me about it, dude.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

i thought i just did- oh, wait.

― chicago kevin (chicago kevin), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

Ha, story of my life

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

You have to pretend.

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 23:10 (nineteen years ago)

What if I want to have sex with... a red panda?

― roq 4 raggett (ex machina), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 23:26 (nineteen years ago)

To never have had sex once, let's be honest here, might be purely accidental.
To never have had sex twice, however, needs quite a bit of planning acumen, doesn't it not?

― tiit (tiit), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 23:41 (nineteen years ago)

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