Being the Pretend Partner, classic/Dud?

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Some other thread brought this to mind..

In a few situations, I was asked to be a 'proxy boyfriend' of a girl friend (but not..) to dissuade other people from pestering. Mostly it was people I was in 'bands' with (It didn't always work. One time it was a dance troup, but I get the feeling the 'pesterer' thought "Ah Dancers, they all go have group sex with each other and whoever is around, all the time (hah!)) , one time it was with someone I never even spoke to.

Getting off a train, quite late at night, walking off to a taxi rank, this young girl walked quite close to my side. We stood and waited for our cab(s) while some lads messed around near a bus stop. When two empty cabs rolled up, I took one, she took the other, and I heard one of the lads yell "Argh, I thought she was with HIM!!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

Haha, nice one Mark's random pretend girlfriend.

I have to do this a bit with female friends, and it's fine, don't have a problem with it at all.

― chap (chap), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

It's pretty classic if you're the woman who doesn't want to be bothered. There are a couple of occasions when I've asked friends this. (Rarely strangers, because they tend to get the wrong idea.)

It's pretty rub if it happens by accident - i.e. you're out with a friend of the opposite gender, and one of you fails to pull due to being thought to be a couple!

― Shoes and Shoegazeability (kate), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 12:46 (nineteen years ago)

I had two pretend girlfriends at once, once, and protected them from leering Italians on scooters. They shouted obscene but envious things at me (the eyeties, not the girls)

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

God, I'm stupid, never crossed my mind to bring along a friend as pretend boyfriend. Now it's too late cause I'm married. hah

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:09 (nineteen years ago)

How do we know he's not a pretend husband?

― chap (chap), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:09 (nineteen years ago)

Classic. I have often been the designated "wingman".

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

xpost: Hmm, then I also have a pretend baby! :-)

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

Classic, usually. Unnecessary cockblocking is an enormous dud though.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

Really? tell us more about that!

― Storefront Church (688), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

Isn't there a who Matt DC thread on cockblocking somewhere? I can't remember if he was the victim, the perpetrator or even what cockblocking is, but still......

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

Classic. I have often been the designated "wingman".

Yes. But a) get clearance first and b) spot when to break formation.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

there was one time i was at a club dancing with a few friends and one of the girls was getting harassed by random man, so after a little bit when it was clear that guy wasn't going to go away i went up to her and said "hi, do you fancy grabbing a drink at the bar" and we went off hand in hand. and someone else saw the whole incident, and thought i was a mega-stud. it was rock.

re: cockblocking
i cockblocked someone (it didnt' take much blockage) once in uni because this girl was v. drunk and was only 17 and is my mate's little sister. but then later on after the cockblocking she was coming on to me, and i had to cockblock myself. it was fun! it was a necessary cockblock though.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

But Ken, you ARE a mega-stud!

― marianna lcl (marianna lcl), Tuesday, 23 January 2007 17:30 (nineteen years ago)

There's a certain amount of being "in the zone" there...

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 09:35 (nineteen years ago)

I've been the pretend lesbian girlfriend tons of times.

― franny (frannyglass), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

Ha ha, that always backfires. It's one thing to go and say to a pesterer "are you bothering MY GIRLFRIEND?!?!?" but another to have to deal with the relentless "So, are you gonna les up, can I watch, hnuh hunh hunh" of drunken trogledytes still trying to try it on.

― The Whistling Bus (kate), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

True. But you pretty much get that anyway.

― franny (frannyglass), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

Christ, if I'd get a penny for every time I've done this...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

lezzed up?

― Johnney B English (stigoftdump), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

You know it!

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

I've done lots of girls, I admit.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

i have never done this!

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:19 (nineteen years ago)

But Ken, you ARE a mega-stud!

more like a mega-slut :(

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:24 (nineteen years ago)

I've been the fruitfly fake girlfriend to a bunch of my gay friends. Weddings, xmas parties, etc. It's not that he (they) couldn't bring a same sex partner to whatever function we were going to, but if we were both single, why not go with someone who's going to make fun of people's purple pant suits (with shoulder pads!) as much as you are?

― molly mummenschanz (mollyd), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

It's pretty classic if you're the woman who doesn't want to be bothered.

but what if your pretend partner starts "bothering" you?

― The Real Dirty Vicar (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

You wouldn't pick them as a pretend partner if you were scared of that.

― The Whistling Bus (kate), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:36 (nineteen years ago)

Oh dear this has just reminded me of the time at old-skool Parker Place Club FT where this terrifying drunk woman was all over Stevem (looking visibly uncomfortable) and took her to one side and was all "stay away from my man, bitch". I don't think she believed me. Later I asked Tom to play R Kelly so evidently went from saver to stirrer in about half an hour.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:47 (nineteen years ago)

i've been considered as the pretend partner quite a few times, mostly to be rejected on the basis that "no one would ever fall for it" :(

― lex pretend (lex pretend), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

What's awful is the point where Something Happens, and you turn from Pretend Partner to Apparent Cuckold. Having some chap mistakenly believe that he's humiliated you is hilarious. And in itself, curiously, a little humiliating.

― Nicholas Passant (Nicholas Passant), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

Ahaha, I could have USED a gay friend who was more convincing as the fake boyo: I got hit on by a middle-aged Southeast Asian man once in a Jersey City bar who wanted me to be very impressed that he was a doctor, wanted to touch my hair, etc...and my best gay mate was NO HELP AT ALL.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 15:24 (nineteen years ago)

Did he want to touch your hair as well?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

He could do that any time -- no, he was sitting across the cafe table from me laughing embarassedly and distancing himself from the situation with every fiber of his body language.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

Does anyone ever do the pretend gay partner thing?

― UART variations (ex machina), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 16:20 (nineteen years ago)

It's kinda tough when you have to act as a pretend partner for more than one girl at the same time - it's ain't easy for a girly-man like me to give the impression I have a harem of my own.

Maybe the more sensible guys actually realize that the girl is simply using this scheme, which in itself informs them she's not interested.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 16:25 (nineteen years ago)

A couple of months back I was at a pub with colleague and a bunch of his girlfriend's colleagues, sitting next to one of them (who was v attractive fwiw). I hear the girl next to her ask the girl between us if I was her boyfriend and the girl next to me instantly blurted 'no!' as if offended by the suggestion. I told myself the solution was to look 'more gay' so as to avoid such humiliating situations in future. My girlfriend agrees.

― vita susicivus (blueski), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

it's ain't easy for a girly-man like me to give the impression I have a harem of my own.

worlds_smallest_violin.gif

― vita susicivus (blueski), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 16:27 (nineteen years ago)

http://moblog.co.uk/blogs/2541/moblog_bfb2fc0fd2f37.jpg

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 16:30 (nineteen years ago)

Does anyone ever do the pretend gay partner thing?

Me and a friend were once thrown out a pub because we gave the impression we were gay. Not that we were trying to discourage anyone, whe just wanted to slow dance together.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

What is wrong about two men wanting to show their friendship by dancing together?

― The Real Dirty Vicar (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 17:03 (nineteen years ago)

One of my (male) friends asked our hawt lady flatmate to accompany him to a wedding, so he could impress all his old schoolfriend. I get the impression she then had to do a certain amount of rebuffing of advances.

― The Real Dirty Vicar (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

Does anyone ever do the pretend gay partner thing?

Matt DC just talked about the time that he did! Unless you meant successfully doing the pretend gay partner thing.

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 17:11 (nineteen years ago)

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