HITTING ON ALL CYLINDERS, YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE SPORTS TICKET 860 AM

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I'm having trouble writing liners for a sports talk show I produce. Any ideas? Here are a few that are currently running:

"TAKING IT ONE STEP AT A TIME, YOU'RE LISTENING TO...."
[Music: "Spooky" by Atlanta Rhythm Section]

"THE HOG MOSH PIT IS OPEN. JUMP INTO THE MUD, HOGFAN. YOU'RE LISTENING TO...."
[Music: "Physical" by Olivia Newton John]

"NUMBER ONE IN SPORTS POWER. YOU'RE LISTENING TO...."
[Music: "How Long" by Ace]

"YOU CAN HEAR A LOT JUST BY LISTENING. THIS IS ....."
[Music: "Theme from Midnight Express" by Giorgio Moroder]

"WE'VE THROWN OUT THE TEXTBOOK ON ..... CALL 1-800-....."
[Music: "Diamonds & Rust" by Judas Priest]

"YOU'RE IN HOG HEAVEN. THIS IS ...."
[Music: "Cousin Dupree" by Steely Dan]

My goal is to kinda have the listener in his car go "Do wha?" when he hears one of those. If I use one you suggest, I'll be sure to send you a copy.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:48 (eighteen years ago)

"PUT ON YOUR PANTS YOU FREAKS, THIS IS..."
[Music: "I Feel Love" by Donna Summer]

like that?

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:50 (eighteen years ago)

aw, you don't use Anthrax for that one mosh bumper?

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

"WE'RE ALL GONNA AGREE TO IGNORE THE HOMOEROTICISM IN SPORT RIGHT? YOU'RE LISTENING TO..."
[Music: "It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls]

― chicago kevin (chicago kevin), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

"NO BRAIN, NO PAIN! YOUR EARS ARE IN THRALL TO..."
[Music: "Green Manalishi," Judas Priest]

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:54 (eighteen years ago)

HOGGING THE DIAL, THIS IS...
[Music: "I Can't Drive 55" by Sammy Hagar]

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:57 (eighteen years ago)

"THE 13TH STEP IN ARKANSAS' 12-STEP PROGRAM, THIS IS..."
[Music: "I Wanna Be Sedated"]

― do i have to draw you a diaphragm (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:57 (eighteen years ago)

THESE ARE ALL GREAT. Except instead of PUT ON YOUR PANTS, I may go with GET SUITED UP...

aw, you don't use Anthrax for that one mosh bumper?

I use "Indians" for one of the bumpers because of that cool drum part at the beginning. "Caught In A Mosh" was a bit much though.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:57 (eighteen years ago)

"STOMPING OUT BURNING DUCKS, WE ARE..."
[Music: "Godzilla," Blue Öyster Cult"]

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:58 (eighteen years ago)

THROW OUT THE HARDWARE, YOU'RE DOING SPORTS RIGHT WITH...
[Music: "Rebel Yell"]

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:59 (eighteen years ago)

"YOU'RE DANCING IN THE END ZONE. THIS IS..."
[Music: "Dancing on the Ceiling" by Lionel Richie]

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 19:59 (eighteen years ago)

PP you better include soundfiles if you actually do these, I think they would sound awesome. Especially:

"SOUNDTRACKING YOUR MIDLIFE CRISIS AND EVENTUAL DIVORCE, THIS IS ...."
[Music: "Oops, I Did It Again," Britney Spears]

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:00 (eighteen years ago)

BLOOD DIAMONDS! THIS IS THE SPORTS TICKET 860AM WITH YOUR HOST, LEO DE CAPPRIO

― Mr. Que (Mr.Que), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

"RECHE CALDWELL IS WATCHING YOU LISTEN TO ..."
[Music: "Don't Look Back," Boston]

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:01 (eighteen years ago)

AND YES I SAID YES I WILL YES, ON...
[Music: "Owner of a Lonely Heart"]

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:02 (eighteen years ago)

POPPAGE AHOY, THIS IS...
[Music: "Pink Turns to Blue" by Husker Du]

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

"WE HEARD YOU GOT BEAT UP IN A CLUB, WE ARE..."
{Music: "Hips Don't Lie," Shakira]

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:04 (eighteen years ago)

WE PLAY WITH ONE BALL AT AT TIME. THIS IS...
[Music: "I Touch Myself," Divinyls]

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:04 (eighteen years ago)

RIB-STICKING RADIO, YOU'RE LISTENING TO...
[Music: "When the Levee Breaks" by Led Zeppelin]

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

HEARTFELT EMOTION TEARS, THIS IS...
[Music: "White and Nerdy" by "Weird" Al Yankovic]

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:08 (eighteen years ago)

"RECHE CALDWELL IS WATCHING YOU LISTEN TO ..."
[Music: "Don't Look Back," Boston]

-- Haikunym (zinogu...), January 24th, 2007 2:01 PM. (Haikunym) (later) (link)

hahahaha. probably watching me poop, too.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:09 (eighteen years ago)

"DONOVAN MCNABB'S MOM IS KINDA HOT, DON'T YOU THINK? ANYWAY, WE'RE ..."
[Music: "Philadelphia Freedom," Elton John]

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:12 (eighteen years ago)

LOOK ON OUR SPORTS TALK, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR -- THIS IS...
[Music: "Girls Got Rhythm"]

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:14 (eighteen years ago)

BOOGITY-BOOGITY-BOOGITY, YOU'RE LISTENING TO...
[Music: "Fire" by the Ohio Players]

IF YOU AIN'T RUBBIN', YOU AIN'T LISTENIN', IT'S...
[Music: "Radar Love" by Golden Earring]

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:15 (eighteen years ago)

"KICK OUT THE JAMS, MONKEYLOVERS! WE ARE ..."
[Music: "Music Box Dancer"]

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

THE LAST DEFENSE AGAINST THE INVASION OF CRICKET, DARTS AND SNOOKER, THIS IS...
[Music: "Ferry Cross the Mersey"]

― do i have to draw you a diaphragm (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:21 (eighteen years ago)

Tuna!...
[Music: "Hey We Want Some Pussy" by 2 Live Crew]

― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:23 (eighteen years ago)

"TWO PARTS PAPAYA, ONE PART MAN! YOU ARE TOTALLY DIGGING ..."
[Music: "Incense and Peppermints"]

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:24 (eighteen years ago)

SMASHING YOUR SKYSCRAPERS OF INFERIOR PRO SPORTS NEWS CHANNELS, TRAMPLING UPON YOUR CROWDED CITY STREETS OF COLLEGIATE ATHLETICS IGNORANCE, BREATHING FIERY BREATHS OF FIRE INTO YOUR PUBLIC TELEPHONE BOOTHS OF LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL SCORES IN WHICH YOU COWER IN FEAR, THIS IS...
[Music: "Godzilla" by the Blue Ã–yster Cult]

― ath (ath), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:28 (eighteen years ago)

I think Chuck's already using that one, ath.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:30 (eighteen years ago)

ASKING YOUR MOM ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP TO THE [LOCAL TEAM], THIS IS...
[Music: Push It, Salt N Pepa]

― If you fuck with Jimmy Mod, you call down the thunder (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:31 (eighteen years ago)

i love the way music sounds so fucked up on am sports talk radio.

― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:32 (eighteen years ago)

PENETRATING YOUR AUDIO DEFENSE, THIS IS...
[Music: Limp Bizkit, "Rollin'"]

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:36 (eighteen years ago)

God, there's like 6-8 different Black Flag songs you could use. "Rise Above", "Six Pack", "Damaged", "Wasted", etc

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

TV PARTY

― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)

WHO'S A GOOD BOY, WHO'S A GOOD BOY...
[Music: "Been Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction]

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)

TV PARTY

yeah, that's the obv one, but would a radio show go for this?

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:47 (eighteen years ago)

RADIO PARTY

― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 20:51 (eighteen years ago)

This thread has been very helpful. srsly.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

there ya go

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

DOING IT TO YOU IN YOUR EARDRUM, THIS IS...
music: pretty much any Pfunk song, really

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 21:01 (eighteen years ago)

HARD-HITTIN', HEAVY HOG ACTION HERE ON...
[music: Big Black: Kerosene/Bad Penny/Cables/anything with the heavy percussive opening. ]

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 21:03 (eighteen years ago)

GENTLE ENOUGH FOR A WOMAN, BUT MADE FOR A MAN! THIS IS...
[Music: King Missile, "Detachable Penis"]

― do i have to draw you a diaphragm (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 21:04 (eighteen years ago)

"WE GOT YOUR EDGY SHOCK-JOCK SPORTS RADIO RIGHT HERE PALLY, BECAUSE WE ARE..."
[Music: "Reoccurring Dreams," Husker Du]

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 21:08 (eighteen years ago)

SMART ENOUGH NOT TO KILL ANYONE BY OFFERING THEM A Wii, THIS IS...
[Music: Super Mario sfx]

― do i have to draw you a diaphragm (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

HAha fuck yeah use that last one

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

GRAVE MEN, NEAR DEATH, WHO SEE WITH BLINDING SIGHT: THIS IS...
[Music: "Vexations" by Erik Satie]

― say it with blood diamonds (a_p), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 21:28 (eighteen years ago)

also, bring out the Dragonforce

― kingfish moose tracks (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 24 January 2007 21:37 (eighteen years ago)

four months pass...

Aha, found it!

― Rock Hardy, Monday, 4 June 2007 01:22 (eighteen years ago)

Nice one. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 4 June 2007 01:24 (eighteen years ago)

Bump for P. Plains. Any of these make it into rotation?

― Rock Hardy, Monday, 4 June 2007 13:44 (eighteen years ago)

I used Gabb's "rib-stickin' radio" liner except with a different song. All of these were really good and I'm glad you found this thread. I'm just a little lazy.

― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 4 June 2007 15:56 (eighteen years ago)

;_;

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

http://blog.dreamhost.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/serious.jpg

― gabbneb, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:17 (eighteen years ago)

If anyone's interested in what these sound like, here's an mp3 file that lasts about four and a half minutes. The funnest part is editing out the verses and choruses, and see how smooth of a transition I can make.

― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:40 (eighteen years ago)

Sorry, Jim. No Salt-n-pepa up here at the sports ticket.

― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:40 (eighteen years ago)

you should've used the donovan mcnabb's mom one

― ghost rider, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:47 (eighteen years ago)

We play that godammed soup commercial about elventy-thousand times a day during football season. That's enough.

― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:55 (eighteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.