Thinking About Suicide

If I get to that age, which I have doubts about :/

If I was feeling suicidal I'd definately try injecting smack before I went, just to see what it's like.

Milo, hypothermia is supposed to be euphoric, once the throbbing/shivering part (that's where the scotch comes in) is over. People feel warm and peel off clothing.

Funnest month ever!

But what if it turns out to be that other kind?

Count yourself lucky if you weren't raised a strick Southern fundamentalist Baptist. Hard to shake.

I have no particularly deep thoughts about suicide. I shall share them anyway.

When I was in my early twenties I figured out a stance that worked for me and stopped there. That was around 1977 or 1978. Beyond that personal idea I felt no compunction to suss out a universal answer. I am big on letting everyone go to hell in their own way.

For me, there might possibly come a time when suicide seems a sensible way out, but I don't expect so. Mere incapacity, which tends to come to anyone who lives long enough, probably would not be a sufficient reason to do myself in. If circumstances become unthinkably dire, I expect it will be obvious even to me. Until then, I plan to keep banging away until I just keel over, curl up and stop breathing.

I think one tends to recalibrate one's sense of necessity as the end of approaches and this process allows one to live (and die) with greater peace of mind than a robustly healthy outside observor would think possible. Talk to some hospice nurses, Beth, and you'll gain a new understanding of what slow death is all about. It's not for wimps, but you don't need to have superpowers, either. Billions have walked that path already. If they can do it, so can I.

As for your selection of exposure (more properly "hypothermia") as the weapon of choice, you've made a pretty decent pick from the menu, just speaking of the mechanics of the thing. Once you've gone past the convulsive shivering stage, at least. The single malt should help tons, as many and many a wino has gone this route with scarcely a twinge of pain.

I agree that fearing death is a bad deal. Since you are going to die, absolutely, for sure, 100% guaranteed, all that such a fear can do is interfere with your ability to live well. Thinking about suicide with a certain detachment and objectivity can be a good way to face down those fruitless fears.

However, I have to get past my terror of death first. I've said this before, but I can't get my head around NOT EXISTING.

But that's why new people keep coming along—to do the job of EXISTING so the rest of us don't have to.

they'll have to kill me to get me out of here. DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN, MOTHERFUCKERS!

I'm glad it isn't the (occasional) serious consideration that it was when I was a lot younger.

Chap - I swear "how is everything going to turn out" is part of what used to keep me going. "What is going to happen NEXT?!"

suicide seems like a much better option, startin the moment junior picks up his bus pass.

- Suzuki Shosan (1579-1655)

I would venture to say that, apart from the above mentioned mercy suicides for old and terminally ill folks (which make a good deal of sense and I wouldn't ever question someone making that decision), a good deal of suicides are based on either just flat-out giving up or a need for attention. I'm just hypothesizing, however.

Anyway, I suggest that no one try it, b/c success means you never get to do it again, and, as George Clinton says, "You'll be alright if you can make it to Thursday." Shit. That's tomorrow. Today, for you Britishes.

Committing suicide means taking a huge leap of faith. What if there really is something after this life and what if it's a million times worse than being infirm or addled?

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/172/375967773_9dfcbfa8af.jpg?v=0

I've always hoped that it can't or at least won't be worse than junior high gym class.

A fiesty, amazingly fierce and strong woman I knew in passing - hardcore punk, politically active, very very smart woman of only 39, died unexpectedly of a stroke the other day.

My only wish is I will see death coming. And many of us don't even get that priveledge.

"Good-bye — if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease, or falling down the cellar stairs. To be a Gringo in Mexico — ah, that is euthanasia."

One of my sisters actually did die this way. I would rank it with getting shot in Mexico, rather than disease/old age.

XP: Hah!

then I am very very wrong.

If that's wrong, I don't want to be right...

I used to volunteer with Alzheimer's ladies at the hospital and I would get a contact high from their dementia. Some of them were happy drunks senile ladies and some of them were like whisky-mad demented ladies. I think my oblivion will be blissful and so almost look forward to my faculties slipping away. I've given up on grasping most things anyway.

WTF!

I hate these online "You are a shark" things.

I'm so happy about this!

Where's my game show ?!?!?

As long as it's not actually involved with the game of golf, I think this better than penile eletrocution. Wait, scratch that. Most things are probably better than penile electrocution.

Quit while you're ahead.

Zora: At age 41 you will participate in the newest reality game show. Contestants battle each other in an arena with swords and spears. You will have a good run (12+ victories) but eventually be killed, much to the audience's dismay.

cis: At age 47 you will participate in the newest reality game show. Contestants battle each other in an arena with swords and spears. You will have a good run (12+ victories) but eventually be killed, much to the audience's dismay.

so long as the audience are on my side!

I'm one of those who can't consider suicide because of my family, relatives, friends, even people only tangentially related - I think that death affects the people left behind, the one who dies is safely out of it. It's kind of odd that, even after having grown up going to church and very interested in Christianity, I find it difficult to believe in life after death - reading various buddhist scriptures at the moment, the descriptions of heavens and hells come off like carrot-and-stick expedients, various vehicles to convince people to lead an ethical life (i was all pro pure land buddhism (it is the buddhism of the people!!) but the pure land sounds like i really wouldn't enjoy it, gaudy with jewels everywhere and choked through with incense). I'm generally not very good at believing in things, though.

Nevertheless I agree with Beth, that there isn't a need to let nature take its course - that if at some point one becomes a burden, there's no-one who'll be hurt more than they would be by one's eventual death, then there would be nothing ignoble in choosing to die rather than to cling on indefinitely, suffering and terrified. My opinion might change when I get nearer to my own likely death, though: it's maybe easier to make this kind of statement when you're in your twenties and death by old age or late-in-life disease seems so very far away.

That'll do me.....

I accept my fate with grace. For it is written.

Marmot: At age 60 you will be struck by lightning while trying to move the antenna beside your mobile home in order to pick up late night adult movies.

I always knew those heroines would catch up to me.

Marmot: At age 40 you will be struck by lightning while trying to move the antenna beside your mobile home in order to pick up late night adult movies.

In that case, it sure makes a lot of sense to keep copy-and-pasting the responses here, doesn't it?

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), February 1st, 2007 9:49 PM. (Pleasant Plains ///) (later) (link)

before the name "m1ckey" meant anything to ilxors, i posted an anonymous thread about contemplating suicide. this was not long after the fbi raided me, i was looking at a likely prison sentence, and all kinds of other miserable things were happening in my life. a bunch of really nice ilxors told me how silly an idea it was.

i wonder how the response would be if i posted the same thing now. nah, i don't even wonder, i know.

Did that rescue/ruin the thread? I'm exhausted by my own post!

Um, Billy's death doesn't seem too far from the basic thing you premised, Beth.

The differences are leaving with joy or leaving with/through despair, I suppose.

I have never done heroin, but I would definitely do it if I new I was going to die soon!
I would also demand a morphine drip if I was dying in a hospital.

I reccomend that everyone write a living will - especially if organ donations are involved. Organ Donor cards are not always respected, and your family needs to know your choices. No matter what. I'm not insinuating that you're going to die. Live fruitfully and well, just leave all your parts to science.

I am really dethreading right now!

Yes, Trayce. It seems to have taken a wrong turn in Albuquerque.

You know something weird? My first husband's last name was Albuquerque. My persdonal life-thread got kind of knotted at that point.

Alison—fuck the morphine drip! They're calibrated to give pain sufferers not-quite-enough relief. Hospitals don't let anyone die easily. STAY OUT OF HOSPITALS.

persdonal is a combination of percoset and seconal. it's also a small typing error.

before the name "m1ckey" meant anything to ilxors, i posted an anonymous thread about contemplating suicide. this was not long after the fbi raided me, i was looking at a likely prison sentence, and all kinds of other miserable things were happening in my life. a bunch of really nice ilxors told me how silly an idea it was.

i wonder how the response would be if i posted the same thing now. nah, i don't even wonder, i know.

-- critique de la vie quotidienne (mi...)

Andrea Collins, a young woman, is selected to travel back in time to Austria on a mission to murder Adolf Hitler an infant, and prevent the disastrous effects of his life. Arriving at the Hitler household, Andrea poses as the new housekeeper. However, her mission is complicated when none of her assigned chores involve care of the baby. Only Christina, another maid, is responsible for the care of baby Hitler. With both Christina and baby Adolf’s parents being extremely protective over the child, the young heroine contrives a plan to gain access to him, but finds that her task is more difficult than expected. After listening to Herr Hitler vent about the separation of the Aryan people, and his hate for the Jews and the Gypsies, she decides that something must be done quickly.