What is the worst you have ever treated an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?

Oh, and make fun of my current boyfriend for having THE POX!!! but, I mean, really... it's THE POX for fucks sake!

Worst?...let's just say that there's an hour of my life back in 1995 with somebody completely breaking down in my room that I want to avoid ever repeating.

But, yes - executed that maneuver many, many times over the course of six months. Now I want nothing to do with that person in the slightest (in no small part because I was doing her dirty work). Coincidence? Nah.

I could never cheat on anyone, by the way, or betray a confidence.

A few weeks later, evil emotional vampire friend came up with the "perfect revenge" (it really *scares* me at this point, how much I went along with everything she told me to do) - I called in sick for a few days. When I came back, every time I saw him, I started crying. Finally, he asked me what was wrong. I told him that I had got pregnant by him, and that during the days I'd been off, I'd had an abortion. Of course, being a fundie Xtian, this was equivalent to telling him we'd committed murder.

He got up and walked out of the office and never came back. Quit his job and everything, I never knew what happened to him.

Of course it was all a lie that Evil Emotional Vampire Bitch had come up with. I really feel stupid and awful and terrible about it now. It's one of the few things in my life I really do feel ashamed about, and actually regret having done.

Another bad thing I did was to just pretend that a member of my family had died, and then pretty much leave town, to avoid dating a particular girl. She was the one with the hairy buttocks mentioned in another thread though, so I felt justified in some respects. Was still damn mean though.

FWIW, don't worry about The Situation Discussed Above too much -- I'm not out to either be a conduit for messages or to try and decide who I'm friends with more or anything!

I didn't mean the holding my tongue thing to mean that I thought you would carry gossip or anything, but more like, I respect you, and don't *want* to put you in an uncomfortable situation with regards to loyalties. :-)

Actually, if I wanted to have some evil fun, I could dig up Paul's old messages on lipgloss from 1995 or 1996 or so talking about hanging around with Thom Yorke and Isabel from Drugstore backstage and having them attack Paul's Pulp shirt and then rip through every other band in existence and...

Hey yeah, since I DID found lipgloss, that ultimately through a random series of events means that both Paul and Kate are where they are today because of me. I CONTROL EVERYTHING. Maybe?

Who says your past doesn't follow you?

I was never on it, but enough people I know were that I really truly now believe that you control the other half of the internet that Chris Barrus does not control.

Fnord, indeed! Lizards! Everywhere! Stop waving your tentacles about, I'm finding it hard to think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Circumstances of breakup: We were supposed to fly to California together for a week but things were dicey (there was another guy), so we canceled her ticket (cost:300ish) and I went alone. She planned to go home to her family and think about things. Instead, she takes this other boy home with her. And that was that.

A year later, I acted in a play that a friend of mine wrote. The plot involved a bored housewife who takes a lover while her husband is away on a business trip and when he returns they strangle him. Aforementioned ex-GF sees play and completely FREAKS OUT. What none of us realized while preparing the show: the names of the two lovers were the russianized names of the ex-GF and the guy she cheated with (katerina, alexei). So the Ex left halfway through and wrote me an email accusing me of putting on the whole show just to make her feel guilty.

I wrote her a terribly condescending, caustic reply in which I pointed out that a) I had played the role of the lover the heroine cheats with, b) my friend had updated/plagiarised lady macbeth of mitsensk by shostakovich for the plot and most of the names and c) she was pathetic to think i'd devote a month of my life to such a nutty scheme. One of the more satisfying letters I've written. And it made it so much better that it was completely unplanned.

In the end, we realised the far more weird thing was how we didn't meet *sooner*.

And yes, I founded lipgloss. Indeed, within about three days of each other I had founded the Suede, Oasis and Pulp mailing lists in September 1995 and immediately became the Britpop guru. To make it even more tangled, one of the guys who founded the Blur list (as mentioned in _The Great Escape_ liner notes!) was the ex of Karen, who you know from the Secret Channels, and who was the guy who ended up meeting Prophet J. Pearce with me in early 1995 at that promo dinner. And even more odd, at one point I was about to run the Blur list as well! Insane!

I also started up the Go-Betweens, Young Gods, Sparks, T. Rex, Kitchens of Distinction and two other lists, I think. Oh yeah, the Boo Radleys, that's what I remember. Good friend Brian started up the Stereolab, Krautrock, Flaming Lips, Unwound, Negativland, Rocket From the Crypt and other lists around that time as well. Between the two of us I think we owned music. ;-)

The Thom Yorke thing was very funny though. I was at a Drugstore show in Oxford, and Thom was in the audience. So they did a Radiohead cover and Thom got up on stage and sang with them. Anyway, later on I was back stage, and Thom and Isobel were schmoozing. I asked Isobel to sign my Drugstore record, and Thom snatched it off me and immediately wrote, in very bad handwriting, 'THoM' on it. Gee, thanks Thom. And then Isobel and Thom started slagging off loads of bands of the moment, in a really catty way, until I just got bored and left!

Isn't penis rupturing the major risk of donkey-punching? Other than killing your wife, I mean.

major risk of donkey-punching = being a complete cunt/assault charges

how come nobody raised an eyebrow at kate's VAMPIRE FRIEND?

There's a _lot_ to raise eyebrows at in this thread, shit got lost in the mix

Yeah I'm out of eyebrows.

Anyway, I think the worst I've been to exes is to realize that they are/were terrible people not worth my time, once I get some perspective on my emotional involvement apart from the moment, and to think of them as little, and in as drab terms, as possible, from then on. This probably only hurts them if they give a shit, but it makes me feel a lot better about getting on with life.

I think the worst I've ever done is turn up at their house after a few months of non-contact, persuaded them to dump their new boyfriend, and then a week later turn up three hours late for their birthday because I'd been watching the FA Cup Final, and then decide to split up again.

Admittedly in that time I discovered she'd not told me about a tiny coke habit of hers, and she also vomited on me while I was asleep, so I didn't feel like as much of a cunt as I should have.

since when were spurs in the FA Cup final

sometimes people watch football matches that their teams don't feature in

1992?

to watch a FA cup final that your team does not feature makes it even meaner to the ex.

i wonder which final it was. there hasn't been a proper exciting one for a while

In my case, I think the worst I've done is acting very rudely towards the person I was dating, because she was being a jerk to me, even though I knew the reason she was such a jerk was mostly beyond her control, so I should've just remained calm and understanding. It's just, when this sort of thing goes on too long, sometimes you just snap.

sometimes people watch football matches that their teams don't feature in

-- blueski, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 15:32 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Yeah, but the tactical accumen LouJag shows gives the impression that he must watch seven or eight football matches a day from across the globe.

The human penis doesn't have bones in it, Tuomas

Er, that's what I said.

It's just, when this sort of thing goes on too long, sometimes you just snap.

Ah, that post. I meant "snap" in the metaphorical sense.

Look, I have basic tactical acumen, but I'm not afraid to make calls from outside the obvious. Lampard up front in the absence of Owen, Rooney and Heskey is a mere postulation, but an experiment few would dare risk. I know it sounds silly, but then if nobody risked mockery we'd never get any debating done.

omg but then why do people say 'boner'?

because you use it to bone her.

xxpost but if nobody mocked there would be no risk to mockery

What's the dialling code when you are calling from outside the obvious?

Spurs would have required it to have been a Worthington Cup Final, and even I wouldn't be that much of a bastard.

if nobody risked mockery we'd never get any debating done.

-- Just got offed, Wednesday, 21 November 2007 15:42 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^^^ILEPITAPH

What's the dialling code when you are calling from outside the obvious?

08o_0

Spurs would have required it to have been a Worthington Cup Final, and even I wouldn't be that much of a bastard.

only because you know they'd lose it

which FA cup final was it matt?

1957.

Or was that sepia?

2003, Arse vs Southampton.

Threatening to have an ex-girlfriend deported was pretty nasty. As was making sure her visa couldn't be renewed for her to stay in the country. That was pretty nasty too. But I was in a relationship that I *really* had to get out of that seemed to have trapped me, which is why I did it.
-- Paul Strange, Wednesday, July 18, 2001 7:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

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Considering what she put you through, I think that nastiness towards that particular ex-girlfriend was not only justified, but completely NECESSARY. /meow
-- Kate the Saint, Wednesday, July 18, 2001 7:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

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Sorry, that sounded really catty and personally jealous. What I was trying to say is that if a relationship is abusive, then really, any means neccessary are justified to get out of it. Except maybe murder, but I'd even condone that in Burning Bed type situations.
-- Kate the Saint, Wednesday, July 18, 2001 7:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

holy crap. couldnt this guy just say "we're not a couple anymore"?!?

I *think* Kate the Saint was a woman, not a guy.

But Paul Strange was probably male.

is 'fake 9/11 victim' thing real? i dunno

9/11 was more than a "burning bed" type situation

i've always been a total sweetheart

roxy is the second chick on ilx to post about breaking a dude's dick!

why u brake dick?

how come nobody raised an eyebrow at kate's VAMPIRE FRIEND?

she's not talking about an ACTUAL VAMPIRE

and because it was hilarious.

the vampire is luna

this thread is fantastic

see I kind of skimmed her post and only saw vampire friend jump out at me. didnt realize it was EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE friend. whoopsie. DANG I WAS HOPING FOR REAL VAMPIRE FRIEND.

Between "giggled when he showed me he'd self-harmed" and the dick-breaking, this thread is just ... tears, man, tears.

i have cheated on girlfirends but only when they were being whiney.
-- junichiro, Wednesday, July 18, 2001 5:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

^^^
my fave

i wonder if that was me

junichiro was nicole posting under a fake name

ethan.xls

i remember because she used that name to talk shit about me & tom ewing told me who it was!

haha

nicole who?