Does anyone in this bitch have children ?

I have no kids, one day it'd be cool, I'd buy them Transformers and Lego for their birthdays and Christmas.

I would like to have children someday. As expressed on Nick's "Friends With Children" thread (He'll have to find it cause I can't...) I think this is my duty for so many reasons, and also a fun experiment I would like to try.

And before anyone points out that misanthropes shouldn't have kids, you can't hate your kids. It's, like, something biological or something. It'd be nice to be a not complete misanthrope and hate everyone in the world except for one or two persons. That'd be kinda nice.

We've got one little Adam (2 1/4). Not much to say w/out sounding like gushy new-age sap, so will leave it @ that

xoxo

I think kids are great, in a way. I never thought I'd want children, and had absolutely no plans in that respect, but now having kids is quite important to me. I just want to have someone who hates all my music, borrows the car and dents it, has unacceptable boy/girlfriends, and gets grossed out when Kate and I are romantic. Actually, I could probably adopt someone from this board then, couldn't I? :)

NO ONE from this board is driving our car.

If we had one, that is. ;-)

But I just promised Doomintroll he could use it all weekend!!

He probably has his own Doom-mobile. Can you imagine the bumper stickers? 'I LOVE POPTONES', 'HONK IF YOU HATE SCENESTERS', and he'd have one of those things that people in England used to have on their car windscreens denoting who was in the car (eg 'Darren & Sharon') only it'd say 'Doomintroll & Alan'. And the passenger seat, for Alan, would be empty.

I think I want to raise my kids in NOrway. I dont trust america

Paul you are wrong: 'Alan' would have to be over the driver's seat — for DooTr surely cannot drive. Ever he sits, waiting, waiting, in the car he paid so much for, for the McGeester to take up his allotted seat and whizz them off at last to the honeysuckled cottage he has dreamed of by the sea, Johnny Mercer on the radio, the stars just coming out as they top the last hills before the glide down to the coast, a small peke at the gate yap-yapping a welcome, and a whispered breeze from the south that seems to say, oh, is it, is it, so faint and yet so sure and true?: evermore

But the wheels have been taken and the chassis stands on bricks, the upholstery is torched, and pretentious losers have pissed through the broken windows and contemptuously tossed wadded-up Momus flyers in to lie beside the cans and condoms.

I'm new to the board. After "trolling" for an afternoon I really don't think I'll be posting more often. Just a word of advice ... please do not procreate until you have grown up.

Sorry Ally! I gave it a go!

i miss cher.

I can't decide whether the Doommobile would be a perfect enemy vehicle against the Mystery Machine or not. But just maybe.

No kids. Jane the Wonderful has spoken a fair amount of times about not having them herself, so there we are for the moment. ;-) My thought is ultimately this -- I was the beneficiary of a happy, loving but not spoiled childhood. The thing I think I've learned most in retrospect is that while there's no one way to raise a kid, there's definitely always going to be a need for thorough commitment, a true sense of spacing your time and energy and work out and more. To be honest, I don't sense myself at that stage at all! Maybe I never will be, and until I do if I ever do, kids are not part of the future.

Question?

Who is Doompatrol?

Jean Benney ramsey

I think *NO ONE* should have kids if they think they *are* grown up. I see so many teenage girls on Jerry crying "I is 16! I not a child, I an adult I can make my own dizishuns and I want a baby!"

I think part of making a good parent is still having a bit of your own childhood inside you.

Sonny: d'you really really really think I don't know exactly how new you are?

Doom Patrol = self-absorbed fictional construct expressly designed by [unknown genius] to behave hatefully and to be hated, who everyone enormously enjoys hating. Fantastic idea: since obviously no one loses.

Mark...

Why would one put time and energy in hating a fictional construct of no apparent beauty or passion? Is that not, and correct me if I am wrong, only hating yourself. Or is that the idea of the creator of Doompatrol?

sonny, is yr last name handey?

"Beauty is a terror we are only just beginning to bear"

DoomPatrol is — as I have rather too often pointed out — the collective manifestation of the worst aspects of a community: its paranoia, its pettiness, and so on and forth. So obviously a measure of self-hatred is very much involved. But pleasure is its own reason. And — since to hae an identity we have to hate someone — better a made-up someone with no feelings to hurt than someone actually posting on the board.

So, according to your logic, self hatred is a pleasure for you. Is it not, and again, tell me if I am incorrect, a simple rule of writing being that: You write for your audience.

So, the creator of doompatrol effectively wrote for an audience of self hating individuals.

Simple...is it not?

Oh, GAWD... DG told me that if he came back, under any name (and he could check the damned IP addresses) he would block him. Too bad DG's in Oxford for the night.

Some people do not understand the difference between M.A.N.I.P.U.L.A.T.I.O.N. and P.I.S.S.I.N.G. P.E.O.P.L.E. O.F.F. T.H.R.O.U.G.H. B.E.I.N.G. AN. A.R.S.E.H.O.L.E

Any fucking two year old can accomplish either. How appropriate that he resurfaces on that children thread...

And again...

I have proven my point. I was hanging around to see if the experiment worked. And it did. Was not as simply as getting the hate thread (which has been emailed to several of my friends and congralutory 'that is cool' comments being sent)....no....if my own creation was continued to be hated.

Then it was worth it.

It was real for the folks at I love everything and I love music.

And I have written for a difficult audience indeed.

Thanks...

I refuse to spend energy hating a fictious persona or the person who created it. (Of course, it is very easy to do that if the fictitious entity never went after you.)

I currently have no children. I suspect that this will change at some point within the next 5 years, although with me working 60+ hours a week and my wife flitting from school to master classes to professional gigs, I have no idea who's going to raise the little dears. Here's hoping they come out as 20-year-olds.

Third rule:

If it seems like writing, it's garbage. ie. Your comment: Where is the actual writing.

It was in front of you the whole time Mark S. The bloody time. For someone who is very smarmy and writes as if he is about to explode into dots and loops, you missed this important rule.

Anyhow...

Definitely going now.

PS. I did enjoy your writing Mark. It has been good schizophrenic fun (which character writing usually is...).

Have a good life.

"In every work of genius we recognise our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty."

You cannot be wrong, Sonny, and you have never been wrong. You have never lost an argument. You have never had an argument. Logic is what YOU say and how YOU say it: we merely slither and blather in your titanic new shadow.

Real people on the other hand sometimes hate themselves. Doompatrol was of course OUR invention: the perfect icon of delicious projection because the self-love his original creator (lost to us alas) thought to give him — his colossal endless tireless matchless vanity — was something we could but envy. If only we loved ourselves as Doompatrol, an icon and a guide, never mind that all his new twists and best turns came from deep within us.

Sometimes it almost seemed as if DP had odd little friends who also popped up, to support him, to take his side of the argument. A game, in which our vivid unconscious created something mimicking reality. But they were tricks of the werelight which flickers ceaselessly across the net, ghoul- candles of bubbling affect whereby everything thrown at others is only ever true of ourselves — and vice versa. Naturally.

In "our" world, there are — you know — several people: I could even name them. In Sonny's, there has only ever been one. It's simpler there, in every sense. Obviously we envy it.

You know, Doomintroll is quite an exciting little social experiment. Thing along the lines of Neuromancer, and Ghost In The Shell - that sort of thing. I mean, a fake identity made real by the internet.

Perhaps I've just been sitting at this desk too long...

::claps very slowly and sarcastically::

Congratulations, you're famous.

So was Hitler.

You're wrong, Mark S, he's not the creature that feeds on all our darkest thoughts an impulses, he's like the character from Greek Mythology (or was it Plato?) who knew that he would never be famous through writing his own books, so he decided to burn down the Library of Alexandria. Now he's so famous I can't remember his name...

this is not interesting. who cares besides the creator.

Ooooooh... aaaaaaahhhhhh...

Man, it sure feels good in here. Nice and roomy, oh, the universe stretches from miles from where I'm sitting.

Best thread mutation ever! Mark S. has given me the best idea, ever! Doompatrol is *our* creation, we have the right to him. This is *our* subconscious, let's step in and have a go...

You can have doompatrol...

However, it will be a cheap parody without reflection of your truer selves.

Lacks the bite/venom/passion and will be empty and hollow.

Anyhow...

Going back to the book.

PS. Mark S. I have ripped off a few of your lines...hope you do not mind much.

Erostratus: Diana's temple, at Ephesus, I think. (By a kind of rubbish-smarmy irony, of course, I *can* remember...)

But ain't that always the way — you rip off the mask, AND IT WAS STEVE PENK ALL ALONG!

I don't mind at all, doomio my love. I can spare 'em. After all, I can actually write.

We can have them all. And we do a better you than you do. Vitriol and bile are the easiest passions to muster, as any squealing five year old in a temper tantrum.

Anyway, I don't want kids at all but if I was forced to have some and somehow couldn't throw myself off a bridge in time, I'd name her Tatiana. I know I won't have a boy.

Ah.

But you have never seen the book have you? you've only seen a small bit (very small bit) for my personal amusement and interest whilst at work. So judging my novel from this experience is/will be an exercise in failure. It is simply beautiful.

PS. Yer writing looks and feels like writing but it is not. It is inconvenient punctation. That is all.

Nasty bunch of people you are!

Bye.

I like to "hurt" my wife...but not as much as I would like to put the hurt on Alan. Ow!

Whose who now?

Why do I feel like I'm in the televisionshow The Prisoner?

The Canadian ghetto was so rough, I'm just keeping it real by bangin' on about Johnny Mercer and Sloan.

Yeah..

And I love Strange Fruit and the Field Mice and I don't think I love music is a big pile of poo full of hacks and hasbeens.

I like to wear womens clothes...mess around with gender roles...

I write in crayon...my editors are always impressed...

You are all mean and horrible people and I do not want to be associated with your mean and bitter vitriol!!!!!!!!!!

I mean... you've got no SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!! Looked in a mirror lately? No reflection! Because you're all SCENESTER VAMPIRES WITH NO SOUL!!!!! Not like me and Alan McGee. We are ace.

I am leaving now. I mean it this time. No, you really miss me when I'm gone. I know you will.

I'm going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, I mean it this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are listening to me, aren't you?????????????????????????????????????????

Lordy, who am I today...????

Whoever I am, I must masturbate in the mirror, because he is the only man who really has the soul...rowr...

keepin it real, you soulless fakers....

I am very confused.

Fakers, fakers, FAKIRS!!!!

No, it is *I* who is the one that has soul, MAAAAAAANNN!!!

Keepin' it real! Keep the faith! I am the one with the vitriol! You are all helpless in my power! I am the real writer, I am the dreamer of dreams and the guardian of music which is RIGHTEOUS and PURE and you can all kiss my fat Canadian ass!

You are all being childish because you don't like being manipulated!!!!!!

No wonder you all have low self-esteem!!!!!!!

I have lots of self-esteem because I have a large penis, as my wife Debbie McGee will tell you!!!!!

WTF?!

This really is very strange indeed.

So... er... anyone have children? Or want them?

Tatiana, Ally? (Woah, "Fresh Prince" flashback...) Pretty name; exotic enough to be sexy, while familiar enough to avoid playground atrocity.

Joei wants to name our first son David (after my oldest brother), but I'm not sure I could handle that. I'm partial to Dexter (surprise!). If we have daughters... I don't know. I like Allison and Denice, Joei likes ultra-southern names like Peyton and Reese.

Fakirs? Are there any actual fakirs on this board?!

DOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doomie! Doomie! Doomie! Doomie! DOOOOOOODE LOOK LIKE A LADY!!!!

I actually think that dealing with Doompatrol is probably *very* good practise for having kids.

I always said that when I had a kid, I would name it Sterling, no matter what sex it was. And since I want two, I'll name the other one Moe, cause again, that's a unisex name.

And of course, we'll have to call the cat and dog Lou and John, just, you know, to be fair.

Allison?!?! Arrrrrgh! Sorry :)

The problem with Tatiana is you'd have to be with someone who's last name would sound good with it, cos "Tatiana Kearney" just ain't happening. Thankfully, I really don't want kids so it just isn't going to occur :)

Do I get any say at all in the kids' names?! I'm wary of Mo for a boy - too dangerous a Three Stooges link. The rest are fine though. John for the dog, though? We'd have to have a Welsh dog that went woof with a Welsh accent...

My head hurts. What has happened to my thread ???

Better than a cat which went "meow" with a Welsh accent, boyo! It'd sound like Cerys Catatonia!

And Moe is great for a boy, it reminds me of the bartender from the Simpsons, not the three Stooges. Besides, what's wrong with Stooges, so long as they are Psychedelic Stooges?

One of the privilages of fagdom is the lack of bilogical imperatives towards breeding. That said i always liked the names grandmothers have ( Agnes, Clara,Clementine,Irene, Ruth)

Do you ever think you'd like kids though, Anthony? One day? Okay so there's a biological stumbling block but you could always adopt or something.

I've been away for a couple of hours here, did somebody come in here and forget to clean up his spooge somewhere up above?

Ned! SPOOGE! Where did you come up with this word? I only know of two people in the whole world who use it, I'm one of them and neither party has had cause to use it since early '97. We spell it SPOODGE, btw.

Splooge.

There's a reaction I wasn't necessarily expecting. ;-) And I don't know how it arrived in my vocab, but it's so enjoyable.

you guys are funnier than a twin peaks show - i thought for a moment it was sonny bono, then it was the ramsey slaughter - someone should publish a book of these The ILE Mutations, l ike a graphic novel.

in somewhat relation to the cosby thread, tatiana ali was the cutest female on fresh prince. out of, um, three.

I think that's what "someone" already thinks he's doing... clearly he's not got any creativity himself, so what do you do when you've got no talent but want to be a writer? Find a whole community full of writers and journalists and get them to do your work for you. Yup.

No, i do not want children at all ! I view them as fucked up and annoying.

I was flattered by yr. post above Kate, 'till I realized that I wasn't the sterl. you had in mind.

Ned: David is a WONDERFUL name. It's Hebrew for "beloved". And I can't think of any person that's sullied that name (except for that Koresh cat, and he was just a patsy for the government, so.)

Was I the only one reading that "exchange" up there (you know - the spooge? the smegma?) and thinking of _The Lawnmower Man_?

Wait, did I trash David as a name somewhere? You got me confused with someone else there! ;-)

Having kids would be great, as long as I never had to meet them.

Dan and Ned in confusion shocker!

Dave, the reason I hesitate is because my oldest brother is dead and I'm not sure that I feel comfortable giving his name to one of my children. I mean, it was never I name I considered before he died (I avoided all the names that were already in my family, actually), and now that he is gone, there are a lot of emotions attached to it that I'm not sure I want to go through every time I look at my son.

On the other hamd, it is a good name and there is a lot of sense in giving it to my first son. I don't know.

Aw, sorry, Sterling C, no.

But it *is* a great name, tho!

Man, I really should avoid this board when I'm over-tired. Had I stayed on any longer, I probably would've confused Tom w/ Doomintroll.

Kids are a nice thing to think about in theory, but I'm going to wait to practice this for quite a few years. Seeing my sister's two nephews every so often keeps me grounded. I cringe every time they get disciplined - I'd be a horrible dad. Plus, my damn last name doesn't jive with any other names I can think of that aren't stereotypically Italian. Especially girl names. Clash!

(BTW - best name for a girl I've heard recently is Storey. It carries the whimsy of those Hollywood-sibling type names without being ultra-stupid like Scout or Rumour.)

Given my family's reputation (or, at least, my dad's), I think I'll take my wife's surname if I get married. (Oh, wait - WHEN I get married. Power of positive thinking, you betcha.)

La la la

Hee hee hee.

Actually this is strange this thread has been revived!

I am meeting Mark S for coffee and Norman and I have exchanged emails about exchanging a cd which I never got around to cause I am lazy (it's coming!).

Electric sound, you are on the egroup and so is Norman...............

Though, I must admit alot of the earlier doom patrol crap was me writing in character and sorting out this mess of a novel in my head, I think several of you are interesting and challenging and eventually became aquaintances!

Life is strange and I just go with it.