"an empty stomach is not a good political advisor."

can you tell someone ate chinese tonite?

"your mind is original, creative, and alert."

fucking a right it is.

i have never had a fortune cookie.

di, perhaps the answer to yr luv problems are inside one.

its okay, you're allowed to laugh at me. i'm laughing at me too.

awwww..i wasn't laughing.

i just posted on the thread to prove it. sorta. i wasn't much help.

IN BED.

Meaning, of course, you're supposed to add those 2 magical wittle words @ the end of every cookie fortune. Oh, how droll. It's really only funny when done by folks that are sooooo virgin just being in the same room as them startches the shirt off your back.

Good things will come to you in due time
One old friend is better than two new ones
You constantly struggle for self improvement
Be prepared to receive something special
The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others
Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation
Trust him, but still keep your eyes open

My cookies aren't much fun, huh...

Oh god. Well, start applying them to all the thread titles, then. "What are your phobias in bed," "Yoo hoo Ronan in Dublin in bed"...

shirts officially starched off your backs, too funny.

Yesterday was Chinese New Year's Day, so I had dinner with my brother's family to celebrate. Since his wife is a tall, pale German-Irish career woman with two young children we had ordered take-out. Damn good take-out, especially considering most Asian restaurants are closed on New Year's Day. My fortune wasn't too hokey: "FORTUNE IS ON YOUR SIDE - PLAY IT FOR ALL IT'S WORTH" -- in bed?

Damn, I forgot to buy a lotto ticket today. Oh well. I am due to go to Las Vegas the next weekend, so maybe I should bet it all on black. ; p

My funniest fortune was "You will be married in less than a year." I was eight years old when I received this one. I was a bit frightened, but I managed to avoid marriage for nearly 20 years.

My aunt used to run a Chinese restaurant, and she told me about a strange batch of fortune cookies that had dire sayings. She supposed some disgruntled worker filled the cookies with these terrible sayings, but a lot of restaurant patrons actually liked the perverse sayings telling them that they would die soon, their spouse was cheating on them, etc.

"someone in your family will go to the moon"

it's TRUE! (i mean it's true that this is my favourite FC claim): if but if the cookie is korrekt, who? I think my cousin Chloe, she is buff (ie she rowed for college and has a shiny face).

I have seen MISfortune Cookies for sale in various novelty shops. They say things like "you will die a sad and lonely death" - so tell me something I don't know!

I liked the story in re-search bookx' "Pranks" about the disgruntled worker at thee phortune coox0rie phactory (J34H!@#!@#!@#~) where the messages said things like "you will fuck & suck a new friend tonight" or "you deserve to die and SOON YOU WILL".

(short break to make darling wife a cup of tea)

it would surely be great to receive such a message. Esp thee first one.

I get the best fortunes for the "IN BED" game. The two classics were:

"Every exit is an entrance to new experiences."

"Animals make the best friends; they pass no judgements."

I am far too boring for my fortune cookies.

I wish we had fortune cookies here in Belgium. Alas we don't. :-(