This is the thread where everyone writes the script for "Manatee in the Boobies."

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i'm laughing too much to come up with a beginning.

― Windy G Moisture, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:28 (eighteen years ago)

Cut from the black screen to the sight of a manatee, close-up, staring directly into the camera.

― unfished business, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:30 (eighteen years ago)

Pan out to reveal that the manatee is actually lying prone on the floor of a deserted adult-movie set, with idle cameras, bondage-strapped beds, unmanned dildos and a couple of used condoms littering the floor around it. The manatee groans. Enter Poppy Page, wearing naught but her tasselled lingerie, walking slowly towards the stranded beast.

― unfished business, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:35 (eighteen years ago)

Page: So you're the new director, huh?

― unfished business, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:37 (eighteen years ago)

Manatee: NGGGAAAAAAAAAH

― emil.y, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:38 (eighteen years ago)

[Manatee dies]

― emil.y, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:41 (eighteen years ago)

fin

― kenan, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:41 (eighteen years ago)

MORE LIKE BANATEE AMIRITE

― 404 Error: Page Not Found, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:42 (eighteen years ago)

is this movie actually about me?

― homosexual II, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:45 (eighteen years ago)

I dont get it so far, wheres the funny bit?

― Trayce, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:46 (eighteen years ago)

THE FUNNY BIT IS IN ANOTHER THREAD

― 404 Error: Page Not Found, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:47 (eighteen years ago)

Page: turning to camera And that's when I realised my true calling in life. I had to go and save all the manatees.

― unfished business, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:49 (eighteen years ago)

NO YOU DIDNT

― 404 Error: Page Not Found, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:50 (eighteen years ago)

film stills plz

― kenan, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:52 (eighteen years ago)

THE FUNNY BIT IS IN ANOTHER THREAD

ILX in a nutshell.

― Trayce, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:53 (eighteen years ago)

Enter Wanda Faq and Dixon Quim

Faq: You're not going without us!

Quim: Yeah, Poppy, what about our business? We had something real good goin' on here!

Page: Yeah, well it means nothing to me now. Between you guys and this poor defenceless manatee, I know which one needs me the most. Goodbye, keep the business running, I'm sure you'll find someone else one day who gives head quite like I do. She turns to go

Faq: No, Poppy. pause If you go, we all go.

Page: What, and shut down the business? You'd do that for the manatees?

Faq. No, we're not letting the manatees take our business. We'll take our business...to the manatees!

Page: Really?

Quim: You betcha. He winks at the camera, and the picture spins away. Roll the opening credits.

― unfished business, Thursday, 1 March 2007 01:57 (eighteen years ago)

The idea of a manatee folding itself up in a lady's tits like an especially homely undersea mammalian cyst of doom...I am getting the weirds from it.

― Abbott, Thursday, 1 March 2007 03:04 (eighteen years ago)

They all journey to Lotus Island to gain the secret of immortality from 9 immortal masters who live on a holy mountain. During their travels, they are led by the alchemist through several death/rebirth rituals. Once on Lotus Island they are sidetracked by the "Pantheon Bar," a cemetery party where people mistake drugs, poetry or physical prowess for the holy mountain. Leaving the party behind, they ascend the mountain and have personal symbolic visions of death. Near the top, the thief is sent back to his "people" along with a young prostitute and an ape who has followed him to the mountain. The rest confront the cloaked immortals who are shown to be only faceless dummies. The alchemist then reveals the film apparatus just outside the frame (cameras, light reflectors and crew) and instructs everyone (including the audience for the film) to leave the holy mountain. "Real life awaits us," he says.

― JW, Thursday, 1 March 2007 06:58 (eighteen years ago)

"Truman Show" meets "The Island".

Get out of my office.

― kenan, Thursday, 1 March 2007 07:18 (eighteen years ago)

[Cut to a TV screen. A news anchor in a red dress speaks.]

Anchor: ..and then some distracting news from the animal kingdom. It seems that the manatee, that lovable speed bump of the ocean, is on the verge of extinction. In the last three years marine biologists have failed to spot a single new litter of manatee cubs, nor have they registered any manatee mating activity. Biologists are baffled by this strange manatean celibacy, and have failed to come up with any explanation for it. Some have even tried to motivate manatee mating through extraneous means, such as building "love nests" for the manatees and spraying them with aphrodisiacs. However, the closest the biologists have come is a few absent-minded humps on the part of the animals

[Cut to an underwater camera. Two manatees are shown lazily poking each other a couple of times, then swimming into opposite directions.]

― Tuomas, Thursday, 1 March 2007 08:16 (eighteen years ago)

Hey J0ng, I just watched that a couple of nights ago. Aw3s0m3.

― emil.y, Thursday, 1 March 2007 09:54 (eighteen years ago)

[Cut to Page, Quim, and Faq, sitting on the sofa

― Tuomas, Thursday, 1 March 2007 11:53 (eighteen years ago)

Whoops, that was an accident! Next scene coming soon...

― Tuomas, Thursday, 1 March 2007 11:54 (eighteen years ago)

[Cut to Page, Quim, and Faq, sitting on the sofa and watching the news.]

Page: See? Manatees are in grave danger. Whatever form of ennui offed our Chump is plaguing the whole race! We have to do something to get them hump each other again!

Quim: Sure, but what?

Page: You two are supposed to be experts of overt eroticism, masters of gratuitous titillation. Just put yourself in the position of your customer. What makes his tail wiggle? Only, in this case replace your typical midget freak or Christmas tree fetishist with a manatee.

Faq: Hmm....

[Fade to black.]

― Tuomas, Thursday, 1 March 2007 12:02 (eighteen years ago)

Someone continue from here?

― Tuomas, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:28 (eighteen years ago)

manatee votes john mccain, gives up, goes home

― darraghmac, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:36 (eighteen years ago)

There was a muffled cry from a Christmas tree...

― Mark G, Thursday, 1 March 2007 14:37 (eighteen years ago)

http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m64/eljeffebonanza/MerryChristmas.jpg

― Fluffy Bear, Thursday, 1 March 2007 15:10 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.comicartcollective.com/artImages/A9424427-E5EA-11D4-90B300C0F04818F0.jpeg

― kenan, Thursday, 1 March 2007 18:48 (eighteen years ago)

Wasn't there a Conan O'Brien sketch called "The Horny Manatee"?

― jaymc, Thursday, 1 March 2007 18:49 (eighteen years ago)

Yup. I think NBC had to end up buying the domain name due to the skit.

http://www.hornymanatee.com/

― molly mummenschanz, Thursday, 1 March 2007 19:07 (eighteen years ago)

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