"I Have Just Shat at Thy Bedside"

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Explain your embarrasing moments, and what you did to appear regal through them.

― Latham Green, Thursday, 8 March 2007 12:55 (eighteen years ago)

When I was 9 or 10, I used to carpool to/from Hebrew school with 2 other kids (ok, our parents would drive, but you get the point). On Wednesday evenings, coming back would be 30-40 minutes, and sometimes holding it in was quite an ordeal. One time I didn't manage, and my method of "appearing regal" was pretending as though nothing happened, getting out of the car as normal, and never mentioning it to anyone. (Luckily, no one ever mentioned it to me--bless 'em.)

― G00blar, Thursday, 8 March 2007 12:59 (eighteen years ago)

"M'lady, it is with the deepest regret that I confess to you that it was, in fact, mine own gastrointestinal emissions - and not 'a bag of rubbish I have been meaning to bring down to the skip' - that has befouled the very air around us."

I think I don't get this thread, but I think it might be genius.

― Ben Boyerrr, Thursday, 8 March 2007 15:49 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, for anonymous posting.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 8 March 2007 15:54 (eighteen years ago)

COWARDS!

― G00blar, Thursday, 8 March 2007 15:55 (eighteen years ago)

I pissed in my pants once. I was 13 years old. I was in France, alone in the car and was too afraid to go out and search for a pub asking for the loo. My parents were a bit angry with me. hahahahahaha

― nathalie, Thursday, 8 March 2007 15:56 (eighteen years ago)

I pissed myself when I first went to school, because another girl went into the girl's room ahead of me and I thought I had to wait in the hall for her to come back out before I could have my turn. I'd never been in the school bathroom before and I didn't realize that there were several toilet stalls. I started crying, and a teacher came. I forget whether they called my mother to pick me up. They must have.

― Beth Parker, Thursday, 8 March 2007 23:09 (eighteen years ago)

I cried for 3 days straight on my first day of kindergarten. Not too terribly embarrassing, but I remember a kid asking me: "Why do you keep crying?" I responded with, "Oh, I just want to take a trip to the water fountain", as if I were playing it all cool. I wasn't. My mom had to give me a picture of the fams at Seaworld so I wouldn't continue sobbing.

― molly mummenschanz, Thursday, 8 March 2007 23:34 (eighteen years ago)

I used to do gymnastics in high school, and at one point we were learning how to do fairly stressful stuff like handstands and cartwheels on the balance beam. As it was new to us the teacher was helping out by holding us up by the legs so we could get the position of our hands right.

And the exertion of balancing like that made me fart quite adibly, pretty much in the teachers face (as I was upside down in a handstand position, see).

She said nothing, I said nothing, and I quietly got off the beam and did something else.

― Trayce, Thursday, 8 March 2007 23:55 (eighteen years ago)

Marvellous work.

I think the only time I have made any effort to maintain my dignity was when taking a cab home late at night after an all-dayer. I asked the driver very politely if he wouldn't mind stopping for a moment, opened the door, vomited copiously and noisily for a couple of minutes amd then (I am informed) closed the door and cheerfully said "right, off we go"

― Matt, Friday, 9 March 2007 00:10 (eighteen years ago)

Nice work!

― Trayce, Friday, 9 March 2007 00:21 (eighteen years ago)

"Do you have room for a spaghetti dinner and a six-pack in the back seat?"

― If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Friday, 9 March 2007 01:05 (eighteen years ago)

JUst the other day in the office I farted quite loudly sort of half-accidentally, but I played it off legit by not reacting, nor did the other two workers. My face held them in check with a somewhat stern look.

― Latham Green, Friday, 9 March 2007 02:47 (eighteen years ago)

I did the "peeing in car when far too old for it" thing once, but I still insist that it was totally understandable. We were at my brother's soccer game in some Denver subdivision: the whole park was filled with people and there were no trees or bushes to go behind, so the only options were to either piss in someone's front yard or go knock on random people's doors and ask to use their bathrooms. I'd have been able to hold it if the game hadn't dragged out into some incredibly long injury time.

Actually, two decades down the road, it occurs to me that I could have found my dad and told him to drive me someplace with a toilet, and the fact that this never crossed my mind might speak to slight weirdness with family relationships.

― nabisco, Friday, 9 March 2007 03:19 (eighteen years ago)

Personally, one of my most embarassing (and scary!) moments was when I injected an unknown substance sold to me by my known-crackhead housemate, which sent me into atrial fibrillation (think "heart conniption") and eventually, the hospital, where they had me scheduled for a heart-stop-and-start procedure I was lucky enough to avoid by coming out of the condition by myself 40 hours later. Absolutely, fundamentally stupid.

― libcrypt, Friday, 9 March 2007 03:39 (eighteen years ago)

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