strongo's x-treme workoutz

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1. instead of weights, use grocery bags filled with food. after your "session", you must eat all the food. add 1 pound to your grocery bags every week.

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 10 March 2007 15:04 (eighteen years ago)

what i like to do is take smaller portions. that way i reach for more food, more often which burns off extra calories.

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 15:20 (eighteen years ago)

3. instead of sleeping your usual 8 hours, take 25 micro-naps (20 minutes each) during the day and night. after each nap, immediately try to lift a staggering amount of weight that you can't possibly move. your muscles will be "fooled" into thinking it's only because you just woke up that you can't lift the weight.

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 10 March 2007 15:37 (eighteen years ago)

4. clench ass muscles now and then when sitting on a chair

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 15:49 (eighteen years ago)

or reading criticism

― Frogman Henry, Saturday, 10 March 2007 15:59 (eighteen years ago)

5. blink a lot

― mookieproof, Saturday, 10 March 2007 16:00 (eighteen years ago)

6. when yawning make sure to stretch out arms above head.

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 16:09 (eighteen years ago)

7.furious, endless masturbation

― Frogman Henry, Saturday, 10 March 2007 16:13 (eighteen years ago)

7. estimate calories burned by walking to the gym (approx 10 blocks) and tell yourself that's 25 fewer calories you have to burn during your workout

― get bent, Saturday, 10 March 2007 16:15 (eighteen years ago)

xpost

― get bent, Saturday, 10 March 2007 16:15 (eighteen years ago)

8. when taking the elevator always use the time to do some step aerobics, don't forget your portable step!

― Matt, Saturday, 10 March 2007 16:50 (eighteen years ago)

why exactly is the strongo brand appended to this nonsense?

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 16:59 (eighteen years ago)

seriously hand, step off

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:00 (eighteen years ago)

wait is this one of those things i approved ala krusty when i was on my way to vegas?

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:01 (eighteen years ago)

what is the body mass index of ile?

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:09 (eighteen years ago)

7.furious, endless masturbation

seriously hand, step off

― get bent, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:10 (eighteen years ago)

lol

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:18 (eighteen years ago)

the sinister hand

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:18 (eighteen years ago)

if i'd done this under my name it would have been a rip-off, i can't win!

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:26 (eighteen years ago)

it always feels better with the sinister hand

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:26 (eighteen years ago)

no shame in ripping off a rip-off artist, man

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:28 (eighteen years ago)

anyway

10. put booze at highest elevation in house so that every time you get another glass you have to reach (or better yet, climb on some contrivance).

warning: this becomes a tad dangerous after about the third glass

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:29 (eighteen years ago)

11. chop limes for alcohol-based beverages rather than use bottled lime juice

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:30 (eighteen years ago)

13. when playing super mario brothers or other popular arcade-type games, reward yourself for each level completed with one sit-up

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:32 (eighteen years ago)

12. mis-number ilx lists so that you have to type a few more words to correct them.

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:33 (eighteen years ago)

i may actually try the grocery bags thing

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:33 (eighteen years ago)

tracer, it's like you have some bizarre insight into the way my brain works that even i don't

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:34 (eighteen years ago)

sometimes i just grab a hold of my gut and give it a good talking to

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:36 (eighteen years ago)

we are working at cross purposes, my gut and i

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 17:37 (eighteen years ago)

15. switch channels more frequently. many people don't realize that the act of changing the channel actually burns 3 calories!

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 10 March 2007 18:52 (eighteen years ago)

16. if you wear glasses, throw them away. the extra strain on your irises (eye muscles) will tone them and add bulk.

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 10 March 2007 18:54 (eighteen years ago)

17. pick fights with people. stress is a great calorie-buster, and fighting naturally strengthens upper-body muscles. picking fights will also increase the amount you run.

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 10 March 2007 18:56 (eighteen years ago)

18. become an olympic weightlifter. this is a great way to add muscle.

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 10 March 2007 18:58 (eighteen years ago)

19. instead of printing documents, write them out by hand.

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 10 March 2007 18:58 (eighteen years ago)

20. drink beers in bottles, not cans.

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:14 (eighteen years ago)

18. become an olympic weightlifter. this is a great way to add muscle.

haha

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

i am waiting for the day i turn on espn 3 and timbaland is all oiled up and flexing

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

20. drink beers in bottles, not cans, and then crush them into small cubes, as you would a can

fixed

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:44 (eighteen years ago)

18. become an olympic weightlifter. this is a great way to add muscle.

lol, excelsior, suitable for framing, etc

― get bent, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:45 (eighteen years ago)

21. take up chain smoking and roll your own cigarettes, an easy way to develop your wrist and thumb/fore/middle finger muscles

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:50 (eighteen years ago)

22. amputate one or more limbs not being used on the daily

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:51 (eighteen years ago)

22. buy candy bars in fun size only

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:51 (eighteen years ago)

23. Buy candy bars by the boxload, and build muscle carrying them home.

― Noodle Vague, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

23. walk to wendy's

― jergincito, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:52 (eighteen years ago)

24. buy your own deli meat slicing machine rather than buying your sandwich fillings pre-sliced

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:53 (eighteen years ago)

25. now and again get the refried bean dip instead of cheese dip for tortilla chips

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:57 (eighteen years ago)

26. When ordering pizza, send the delivery guy to a house across the street. The extra distance you have to walk will burn up to several calories per delivery.

― Noodle Vague, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:58 (eighteen years ago)

god this really is me u_u

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 19:59 (eighteen years ago)

Not me. This stuff sounds like hard work.

― Noodle Vague, Saturday, 10 March 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

for lunch i had couscous with sprouts and pickled beets

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

i really dont belong here

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

― strongohulkington, Saturday, 10 March 2007 20:09 (eighteen years ago)

27. Drive a stick shift.

― Beth Parker, Saturday, 10 March 2007 20:11 (eighteen years ago)

in the old room i lived in i basically had a taco johns out my front door and a liquor store out the back. it seemed cool at first, but its not a way to live.

― artdamages, Saturday, 10 March 2007 20:14 (eighteen years ago)

28. Kill and eat people who eat only rabbit food. You will perforce gain all their healthiness.

― libcrypt, Saturday, 10 March 2007 20:14 (eighteen years ago)

29. calisthenic swearing

― gff, Sunday, 11 March 2007 04:33 (eighteen years ago)

30. Go see 300. This makes you want to work out.

― Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 11 March 2007 08:41 (eighteen years ago)

24. buy your own deli meat slicing machine rather than buying your sandwich fillings pre-sliced

dude, those things are HEAVY

― river wolf, Sunday, 11 March 2007 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

31. use your elbow to right click every time you save pornography off the internet

― ^@^, Sunday, 11 March 2007 16:22 (eighteen years ago)

32. use both hands to pick up coffee; concentrate on form

― ^@^, Sunday, 11 March 2007 16:23 (eighteen years ago)

33. rotate arm full 360 degrees before delivering cigarette to mouth

― ^@^, Sunday, 11 March 2007 16:24 (eighteen years ago)

34. put hamburger and fries on separate plates, as dishwashing tones abs

― ^@^, Sunday, 11 March 2007 16:25 (eighteen years ago)

35. tone index finger by taping dimes to ipod scroll wheel

― ^@^, Sunday, 11 March 2007 16:46 (eighteen years ago)

36. CHINESE MAN TRIATHALON
1) BIKE TO CHINESE FOOD; GET CHINESE FOOD
2) RIDE HOME WHILE SMOKING
3) EAT CHINESE FOOD

― JW, Sunday, 11 March 2007 18:40 (eighteen years ago)

TOILET BOWL VOMIT CROUCH AB CRUNCH

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 11 March 2007 21:46 (eighteen years ago)

accidental door-frame hip check

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 11 March 2007 21:50 (eighteen years ago)

wait, wrong thread

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 11 March 2007 21:51 (eighteen years ago)

37. click on johnnyfitz's "about me" link so you can have an exhilarating window-closing workout

― aaron d.g., Monday, 12 March 2007 00:35 (eighteen years ago)

38. shivering is a proven fat-buster - your body's micro-vibrations when chilly is nature's involuntary workout! hot weather is no excuse. when summer finally rolls around, try working up a sweat somehow and then dashing into a freezing movie theater with nothing but your flip flops and beach gear on, and an icy diet coke nestled between your thighs. just make sure your chattering teeth don't distract other patrons.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 12 March 2007 16:02 (eighteen years ago)

39. build your forearms -- carry three full pints from the bar back to the table

― kingfish, Monday, 12 March 2007 16:09 (eighteen years ago)

38b. alt method: withdrawal

― Jordan, Monday, 12 March 2007 16:12 (eighteen years ago)

40. erm, as it was all for a dare there was no consummation, but i was manually stimulated in turn by the girl i pulled and a boy who was also in the room, who wanted to see my knob in a fully erect state. alas, i had drunk far too much to get it all the way up (it still beat HIS even at 90%) and the full glory was spared. there were 3 boys and 3 girls in the room, all 3 boys and 1 of the girls were fully naked, and the other 2 girls were only wearing knickers. the night ended (after the naked girl upped sticks and headed off) with a wanking contest, the 2 remaining girls (whose idea it was) watching intently as we strived to bring ourselves to climax. it took me about twice as long as anyone else, mostly through fear of being struck by another's jet, being as i was in the centre of the three. throughout, i was made up in lipstick, rouge and a headband, and when i had been wearing clothes it had been drag. one of those ordinary student nights, then...

― DJ Mencap, Monday, 12 March 2007 16:13 (eighteen years ago)

41. Buy a hatchback and break the door mechanisms, forcing yourself to climb in and out the back of the vehicle every time you need to go somewhere.

Alternately, buy a Flinstones car.

― nickalicious, Monday, 12 March 2007 21:45 (eighteen years ago)

42. Throw rocks at eagles.

― nickalicious, Monday, 12 March 2007 21:46 (eighteen years ago)

43. When eating Chinese food only use 1 chopstick.

― nickalicious, Monday, 12 March 2007 21:50 (eighteen years ago)

44. For every 2 food items eaten, crush 1 into as tiny a ball as you can with your fist. Put aside to use in a casserole later.

― nickalicious, Monday, 12 March 2007 21:51 (eighteen years ago)

45. When posting on ILX or elsewhere be sure to strike each key with as much force as your fingers will allow. This has the added bonus of giving everyone around you the impression that you are a hardass, man.

― nickalicious, Monday, 12 March 2007 21:54 (eighteen years ago)

46. chainsnatch, sprint, repeat

― sanskrit, Monday, 12 March 2007 21:56 (eighteen years ago)

47. When playing a round of golf, dump the unused clubs out in favor of loading the bag up with ice and beer. The act of placing the heavy bag on the golf cart which you then rent will tone your upperbody.

47b: encourage physical fitness in your community by hiring a local urchin to caddy your golf bag full of beer.

― kingfish, Monday, 12 March 2007 22:05 (eighteen years ago)

48. Invest in a pony keg and an H-frame backpack. Hiking the Appalachian...the Strongo way.

― nickalicious, Monday, 12 March 2007 22:09 (eighteen years ago)

38b. alt method: withdrawal

Jordan on Monday, March 12, 2007 12:12 PM (6 hours ago)

also includes the added bonus of addiction weight loss beforehand!

― tehresa, Monday, 12 March 2007 22:54 (eighteen years ago)

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