In every greengrocer

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1. DON'T SQUEEZE ME TIL I'M YOURS

― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:17 (eighteen years ago)

2. Apostrophe's

― Forest Pines, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:19 (eighteen years ago)

3. plastic grass

― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:29 (eighteen years ago)

4. Parsley amongst the veg.

― The Wayward Johnny B, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:34 (eighteen years ago)

5. brown paper bags rolled over to seal

― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:34 (eighteen years ago)

saran-wrapped carrot cake that hasn't been touched for 1,000 years, by the cash register

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:36 (eighteen years ago)

7. too many watermelons

― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:36 (eighteen years ago)

very rarely used shopping baskets

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:36 (eighteen years ago)

7. trodden on lettuce leaf

― estela, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:37 (eighteen years ago)

looming, all-seeing stacks of toilet paper multi-packs

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:38 (eighteen years ago)

vexpost

― estela, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:38 (eighteen years ago)

a muttering woman on a stool who brightens when you enter

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:39 (eighteen years ago)

11. curious veg resembling severed muscular arms

― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:39 (eighteen years ago)

dusty aspirin packets

― estela, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:40 (eighteen years ago)

14. yellowing posters on the wall from days when every food had its own Marketing Board

MAKE ROOM FOR THE MUSHROOMS!

― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:41 (eighteen years ago)

A pervasive smell of rotten veg.

― Trayce, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:41 (eighteen years ago)

13. more people standing around nattering than actually buying anything

― braveclub, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:42 (eighteen years ago)

17. Toddler getting up from pushchair to handle fruit whilst mother's back is turned

― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:43 (eighteen years ago)

signs in deli section saying WASH HANDS next to very scummy looking jar of liquid soap and some crunched up Chux wot have seen better days.

― Trayce, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:45 (eighteen years ago)

19. the thinnest plastic bags ever. Your produce lands on the floor.

― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:46 (eighteen years ago)

Wow, there are two greengrocers in this town and neither of them are remotely like any of that.

― Matt, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:48 (eighteen years ago)

towering, all-seeing stacks of toilet paper multipacks

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:56 (eighteen years ago)

eight different kinds of feta

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:57 (eighteen years ago)

reliably excellent beer selection, including a bottom row of "big bottles"

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:58 (eighteen years ago)

the skill, honed over generations, of talking excitedly on the phone and smoothly ringing up groceries at the same time

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:59 (eighteen years ago)

razor blades

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 11:00 (eighteen years ago)

"rough riders"

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 11:05 (eighteen years ago)

"horny goat" ginseng supplement

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 11:06 (eighteen years ago)

weathered placard on which hangs sealed paper-backed packages of things like: needle and thread, 6 thumbtacks, uselessly small roll of cellophane tape, rubber bands, etc.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 11:10 (eighteen years ago)

a top shelf behind the counter stocked with vases and car batteries

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 11:12 (eighteen years ago)

actually i think the only difference between a modern greengrocer's and an old-fashioned "country store" is the absence of fishing lures and frying pans in the former

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 11:33 (eighteen years ago)

Fruit flies.
Blue-and-white (or pink-and-white) striped polythene bags.
Child buggy parked right in the doorway.
Irish rebel songs blasting from the sound system (NB this is probably just in my greengrocer).

― rener, Friday, 16 March 2007 12:20 (eighteen years ago)

Swathes of bristly green plastic material that is supposed to resemble grass.

― Matt DC, Friday, 16 March 2007 16:27 (eighteen years ago)

I don't know whether this is a universal feeling in every greengrocers, but I always get a slight unease as to the correct protocol - do you boldly go and help yourself, even if the greengrocer is there? Do you wait for them to go 'Cor blimey, strike a light, what can I get you love' and then you watch as he puts stuff in bags for you? And if it's busy do you go 'I'm just going to help myself' 'cos y'know you're being polite but then HE might take it to mean, 'I'm fed up of waiting for you to do it for me, so I'm damned well going to do it myself'. This is sadly one of the reasons I don't go in my local greengrocers that much, aside from it costs more, plus I always end up sounding like Hugh Grant during the whole 'Cor blimey, strike a light, what can I get you love' thing.

― Nobodysprawn, Friday, 16 March 2007 16:44 (eighteen years ago)

There's no need for that kind of fretting, they're just vegetables.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 16:55 (eighteen years ago)

I am going to buy two butternut squash now, possibly some dill. Wish me luck. Thankfully this greengrocers has a nice bulldog (not a stripy chav one) which acts as a stress reliever

― Nobodysprawn, Friday, 16 March 2007 17:00 (eighteen years ago)

I'm rooting for you!

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 March 2007 17:01 (eighteen years ago)

It was funny on the Adam and Joe show when they did a spoof home make-over show and covered the dudes floor with green-grocers grass.

In West Ealing there are about 4 or 5 greengrocers that stay open all day, but I suppose that's the same as everywhere. Actually, there aren't many old-fashioned green grocer's left. There was one near my house when I lived in Acton, when there were riots in the early '80's the grocer boarded up his shop and had guys in suits guarding it!!! (the Riots were nowhere near Acton!)

― jel --, Friday, 16 March 2007 18:41 (eighteen years ago)

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