Great big whopping lies.

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I love you.

The cheques in the post.

It's a good reliable car.

― Billy Dods, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

I won't come in your mouth.

He doesn't bite!

Just a *small* bit of Poland...

― Kate the Saint, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

We can still be friends.

No offence, but...

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

He's only doing that because he's pleased to see you/to be friendly/ he likes you.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

I'm wearing a condom!

You look GREAT!

I don't have herpes!

You'll be out of work before 10pm, I'm sure....!

― Paul Strange, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

One drink won't kill you
We are doing this out of love
I will respect you in the morning
Its mostly about theroy

― anthony, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

This software is bug free.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

I'm not a psycho.

I'm doomintroll.

I'm on the pill.

― Paul Strange, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

DOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!

DOOMIE! DOOMIE! DOOMIE!!!!!!

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

― doompatrol23@hotmail.com, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

I really love what you've done with your hair.

― Kim, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

It's not you, it's me.

― Michael Bourke, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

I know exactly what the fuck I'm doing and I know you can write an article in an hour for FT so get to it. (This is not entirely a lie, merely me in extremis -- however, that first part of the sentence could well be a fib).

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

No, there's never been a problem with mould.

They're the saviours of rock and roll.

I have to go to a uni class now.

― Geoff, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

'these days it's a healthy 6 or 7 inches, last time I looked.'

― ethan, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Stop talking about your turds, Ethan.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

i would talk about other people's turds, but i'm sure everyone else is tired of hearing about loveless.

― ethan, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Ha! Okay, good answer. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

" It was orange yesterday! And I haven't grabbed it yet today. And it never meows!"

― Mike Hanley, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

ethan, you're gonna get a cock slapping for that one!

― Geoff, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

'Of course you're the father'.

― Emma, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

i hope geoff's comment is supposed to be a lie.

― ethan, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

This is not legally binding

― tarden, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Of course I like your poetry.

― Andrew L, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

It's very good, it's just not really my sort of thing...

― Kate the Saint, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

I'm never touching alcohol again.

― Madchen, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

Bwah hah hah! OK, Lucy wins for that one!

― Kate the Saint, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

"The bass player wants to do more gigs, and he doesn't think you're learning the songs fast enough"

xoxo

― "Halo Jones", Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

"this will only hurt a bit"

"i'm going to start my diet tomorrow"

"we'll only stay for one more drink"

"we're not lost" "i know where we are"

― marianna, Friday, 20 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

"i don't have a girlfriend."

― lady die, Sunday, 22 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-five years ago)

two years pass...

"I just won an Academy Award!!!!!"

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 17 November 2003 05:36 (twenty-two years ago)

she's my roommate

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 17 November 2003 08:39 (twenty-two years ago)

1997

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 17 November 2003 08:43 (twenty-two years ago)

2001

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 17 November 2003 08:44 (twenty-two years ago)

encore 2002

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 17 November 2003 08:44 (twenty-two years ago)

How is there no Pete on a thread with this title?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 17 November 2003 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The thread would become locked in a paradox vortex and cease to exist, Martin.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 17 November 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

ethan, you're gonna get a cock slapping for that one!

-- Geoff, Thursday, July 19, 2001 7:00 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Link

― sunny successor, Saturday, 30 August 2008 03:00 (eighteen years ago)

I'm wearing a condom!

Oh man how do you not know whether someone's wearing a condom or not? It's not like they magically grow out of your penis and shed their skin like a snake. You kind of get to see the person put it on. Or do I live in bizarro world?

― Abbott, Saturday, 30 August 2008 03:29 (eighteen years ago)

No, that one puzzled me too.

― Trayce, Saturday, 30 August 2008 03:54 (eighteen years ago)

Mind you if a penis could spontaneously condomize itself at the right moment, how handy would that be!

― Trayce, Saturday, 30 August 2008 03:55 (eighteen years ago)

Spray-on condoms to thread.

― libcrypt, Saturday, 30 August 2008 04:05 (eighteen years ago)

You would have to install the spray on applicator into the feminine sheath. Which. Uh.

― Abbott, Saturday, 30 August 2008 04:11 (eighteen years ago)

Vagina latexata.

― libcrypt, Saturday, 30 August 2008 04:22 (eighteen years ago)

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