Let's talk about upcoming movie remakes and get angry! REAL ANGRY!

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I Am Legend (2007) Directed by
Francis Lawrence

Writing credits
Akiva Goldsman
Richard Matheson (novel)
(more)

Cast (in alphabetical order)
Will Smith .... Neville
Salli Richardson .... Ginny Neville
Alice Braga .... Anna
Thomas J. Pilutik .... Vampire Creature
Charlie Tahan .... Ethan
Paradox Pollack .... Alpha Guard

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:32 (nineteen years ago)

Conan the Barbarian (2008) Directed by
Boaz Yakin

Writing credits
Robert E. Howard (character)
Boaz Yakin (screenplay)

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Genre: Action / Adventure / Fantasy

Plot Outline: The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria.

THEY ALREADY MADE THAT ALREADY!

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

Boaz Yakin

Writer - filmography
Conan the Barbarian (2008) (announced) (screenplay)
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004) (screenplay)
From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999) (V) (story)
A Price Above Rubies (1998) (written by)
Fresh (1994) (written by)
The Rookie (1990) (written by)
The Punisher (1989) (written by)

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:36 (nineteen years ago)

Weak! I thought I read somewhere they were making a movie of Conan the Conqueror, I guess they aren't/I'm on crack?

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:41 (nineteen years ago)

[Removed Illegal Link]

Ron Howard may unlock an American version of "Cache" for Universal.
Brian Grazer will produce the remake for Imagine, which acquired the rights from Plum Pictures, with Howard looking to direct.

― Hatch, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:42 (nineteen years ago)

Illegal link my ass.

― Hatch, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:43 (nineteen years ago)

Fresh is fucking brilliant, but definitely an exception to the rule, it seems.

― Oilyrags, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:44 (nineteen years ago)

Don't all the previous versions of I Am Legend essentially suck, though? (The Omega Man mostly does.)

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:47 (nineteen years ago)

Weak! I thought I read somewhere they were making a movie of Conan the Conqueror, I guess they aren't/I'm on crack?

apparently there was a version made as kull the conqueror in 1997. with kevin sorbo. and some really disturbingly enthusiastic schwarzeneggar fan site has an article from 2006 saying he was going to play conan after he left office, probably in conqueror following by conan: crown of iron (intended to be directed by milius) or summat. but who knows?

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:47 (nineteen years ago)

xp: i liked the previous i am legend movies, though they were both silly. i can't imagine a new one - with WILL SMITH starring - is going to be much better. hopefully we'll at least get an awful theme song out of him.

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

They're remaking The Thing w/ BSG's Ron Moore in control.

oh yeah, and Escape from New York.

― kingfish, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:53 (nineteen years ago)

i've seen price above rubies! it sucks! post-gubernatorial arnold as old king of aquilonia would be great! no doubt nu conan movie will be crap! so mad!

― gff, Friday, 23 March 2007 19:55 (nineteen years ago)

oh yeah, escape from new york. i almost had an aneurysm over that one.

the inability to create new art is a sign of the decline of a civilization, right?

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:12 (nineteen years ago)

They're remaking The Thing w/ BSG's Ron Moore in control.

I am nine different kinds of sad.

Also why they remake Escape from New York when we already have Escape from LA?

― jessie monster, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:19 (nineteen years ago)

8½ (2008) Directed by
Ron Howard

Writing credits
Federico Fellini (story) &
Ennio Flaiano (story)

Willard Huyck (written by) &
Gloria Katz (written by)

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Genre: Drama / Comedy / Romance

Cast (in credits order) verified as complete
Tom Hanks ... Guido Anselmi

Meg Ryan ... Claudia

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:21 (nineteen years ago)

Or why remake it at all? I just want my expanded DVD with the restored first reel/missing subplot.

Carpenter is rumored to speak at a filmfest that I'm volunteering at later this year, and I'm going to try to ask him about it.

― kingfish, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:22 (nineteen years ago)

I'm kinda amazed that anyone who could write something as great as Fresh could be such a horrible hack. oh well.

Carpenter's Thing slayz all competition tho.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:22 (nineteen years ago)

well, now you guys know why I boycotted Carpenter's The Thing ...

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:22 (nineteen years ago)

Grand Illusion (2009)

Directed by
Roland Emmerich

Writing credits
Roland Emmerich (written by)
Jean Renoir (1937 screenplay)

Cast (Credited cast)
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson ... Lt. Maréchal (in talks)
Vin Diesel ... Captain de Boeldieu (attached)

― Hatch, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha omg that can't be for real

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:57 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus am I gullible, I totally imdbed that.

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:58 (nineteen years ago)

Oh dear Christ almighty.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 23 March 2007 20:59 (nineteen years ago)

I was all "oh MAN, I've been waiting for a big The Rock/Vin Diesel spectacular!!!!".

― nickalicious, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

I liked it when the X-Files remade The Thing that one time.

― Jordan, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:08 (nineteen years ago)

you know, after Chris Rock:Rohmer and Ron Howard:Haneke, all bets are off.

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

The Big Sleep (2009)

Directed by
Paul Verhoven

Writing credits
Frank Miller (screenplay)
Raymond Chandler (novel)

Cast (Credited cast)
http://ia.ec.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/51/23/48t.jpgPaul Walker ... Phillip Marlow (in talks)
http://ia.ec.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/93/65/38t.jpgScarlett Johannson ... Vivian Sternwood Rutledge

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

Aguirre Almighty (2009)
Directed by:
Tom Shadyac

Writing Credits:
Werner Herzog (1972 screenplay)

Cast:
Dane Cook - Don Lope de Aguirre Petersen
Morgan Freeman - God

Filming Location: Toronto, Canada

― Chris L, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:35 (nineteen years ago)

Aguirre Almighty (2009)

heh, you do know they're already making a Carrell-based sequel, right?

― kingfish, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:41 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, this'll round out the trilogy.

― Chris L, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

I'm still wondering what Moore is going to do with the Thing. Carpenter updated it as his own version of Alien(w/ maybe a little foreshadowing of HIV blood paranoia). Will the film be a straight horror thing, or what's the sociopolitical angle to be incorporated?

Fuck, I can't find a screenshot of cartman wearing the parka from this week's south park.

― kingfish, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

I quite liked 'Omega Man', just on a trashy level. Haven't ever read 'I am legend', though I really should.

Is Will Smith an SF fan? He could so easily have gone the rom-com route.

― Soukesian, Friday, 23 March 2007 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

i think will smith is a fan of will smith looking like a badass and attacking weird mutant/alien/robot things.

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Saturday, 24 March 2007 07:24 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

hey, look! they're remaking barbarella!

WHAT A GREAT AND NECESSARY THING!

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Friday, 13 April 2007 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

oh bollocks your link code nuilx:

http://www.filmwad.com/-barbarella-to-get-the-remake-treatment-2178-p.html

ditto your useless search function.

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Friday, 13 April 2007 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

Paradox Pollack ?!?

― nathalie, Friday, 13 April 2007 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

Barbarella isn't going to be a "sex kitten" this time, but a kickass alpha-woman. (we roll eyes)

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 13 April 2007 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

OH NOES, NOT THE TIMELESS MASTERPIECE "BARBARELLA"!?! WHATEVER WILL WE SERIOUS CINEASTES DO?

― That one guy that quit, Friday, 13 April 2007 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

I'm really amazed there hasn't been a remake of "Race with the Devil" yet.

....so I thought I'd check IMDB before posting this and HEY, LOOK! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0454924/
I don't have IMDbPro, so I can't see who's behind this.

― Rock Hardy, Friday, 13 April 2007 13:34 (nineteen years ago)

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THEY REMAKE IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD.

oh, wait, they already did that, didn't they?

― GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ, Friday, 13 April 2007 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

When will they remake Charles Band's Dungeon Master??

I reject your reality, and substitute it with my own!!!

― gnarly sceptre, Friday, 13 April 2007 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

Short Circuit 2 (2009)

Directed by
Andy Wachowski

Writing credits
Brent Maddock
S.S. Wilson

Cast (Credited cast)
Johnny Five ... Chris Tucker
Fisher Stevens ... Kal Penn

― Hurting 2, Friday, 13 April 2007 22:57 (nineteen years ago)

er,

Ben Jahrvi ... Kal Penn

― Hurting 2, Friday, 13 April 2007 22:58 (nineteen years ago)

Remake CUBE, and 300.

― Abbott, Friday, 13 April 2007 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

jesus christ that scarlett johannson photo.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 13 April 2007 23:45 (nineteen years ago)

Wait there's no way that can be real can it?

― Hurting 2, Saturday, 14 April 2007 00:22 (nineteen years ago)

It's actually from a shoot she did for some mag, apparently.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 14 April 2007 01:13 (nineteen years ago)

Didn't Drew Barrymore want to remake Barbarella at one point?

― tokyo rosemary, Saturday, 14 April 2007 01:53 (nineteen years ago)

Tyler Perry's The UP Series (2007) (2014) (2021) (2028) (2035) (2042)...

Directed by
Tyler Perry

Cast (Credited cast)

Jackie....Tyler Perry
Lynn....Tyler Perry
Susan....Tyler Perry
Nick....Tyler Perry
Andrew....Tyler Perry
Symon....Tyler Perry
Bruce....Tyler Perry
Tony....Tyler Perry
Paul....Tyler Perry
Neil....Tyler Perry

― mulla atari, Saturday, 14 April 2007 03:51 (nineteen years ago)

that German feller who did Downfall directed another remake of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. apparently the (American) studio thought it was too "artsy" and now they're bringing in the Wachowskis for rewrites/reshoots.

― latebloomer, Saturday, 14 April 2007 03:57 (nineteen years ago)

If anybody can punch up dialogue it's the Wachowskis.

― mulla atari, Saturday, 14 April 2007 04:02 (nineteen years ago)

karate punches maybe amirite

― latebloomer, Saturday, 14 April 2007 04:41 (nineteen years ago)

WESTWORD (2009)

― nickalicious, Monday, 16 April 2007 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

Queen Latifah to star in trashing of the Steve Martin-Tomlin-Reiner classic All of Me

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 27 April 2007 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

If... (2008)

Director: Danny Leiner

Writers:
David Sherwin (script Crusaders) &
John Howlett (script Crusaders) ...

Eddie Murphy ... Mick Travis
Eddie Murphy ... Johnny
Eddie Murphy ... Wallace
Eddie Murphy ... The Girl
Eddie Murphy ... Bobby phillips
Eddie Murphy ... Rowntree
Eddie Murphy ... Denson

― Will M., Friday, 27 April 2007 21:27 (nineteen years ago)

God no

― admrl, Friday, 27 April 2007 21:27 (nineteen years ago)

You're a liar if you wouldn't watch that movie

― Will M., Friday, 27 April 2007 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

"After more than a decade of trying, Diane English has a solid cast and an Aug 6 start date for The Women, the remake of the 1939 classic that she adapted and will direct," reports Michael Fleming. "Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Jada Pinkett Smith, Debra Messing and Candice Bergen have either signed or are near committing to star in a contemporized version of the George Cukor-directed film, which Picturehouse will distribute domestically next year."

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 1 June 2007 03:51 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.cinematical.com/2008/12/03/j-michael-straczynski-on-forbidden-planet-for-real-this-t/

I WILL BE MONITORING

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 4 December 2008 17:08 (seventeen years ago)

is this the thread where I can get angry about them making Revolutionary Road, an awesome novel, with the TITANIC TWO??????

― Mr. Que, Thursday, 4 December 2008 17:09 (seventeen years ago)

They are both have been excellent actors, I'd worry more about Sam Mendes.

And it's not a remake, so no.

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 4 December 2008 17:22 (seventeen years ago)

Hollywood movie of Strugatsky bros. "Roadside Picnic" w/Travolta NOOOOooooooooooo.....

― Ruudside Picnic (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 4 December 2008 17:22 (seventeen years ago)

Oh, fuck.

― James Morrison, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:03 (seventeen years ago)

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