Are there any cures for absent-mindedness?

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I think I'm suffering from a serious case of absent-mindedness. It's weird in the sense that I can remember obscure details from years back, yet I often forget the faces and names of people I've already met two or three times. Also, I often forget to pay my bills and return my library books in time, which means I constantly have to pay fines and extra bills. Several times I've forgotten to enter my exams, even when they were important ones. I even forgot to go to my dad's wedding.

So I'm wondering, are there any cures for this? I guess keeping a calendar would be one, but even when I have a calendar I tend to forgot to check it...

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:01 (nineteen years ago)

a decent smack upside the head helps me sometimes

― latebloomer, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:02 (nineteen years ago)

You could try hanging a bag on the inside of the front door - on the handle so you can't leave the house without noticing it's there - and whenever you have library books to return or bills to pay or letters to post, you put them in the bag. A certain amout of discipline is required of course, because you have to remember to put the items in there to start with, but at least it's all in one place for you to take to work with you in the morning and deal with during that day.

― C J, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:09 (nineteen years ago)

putting things in strategic locations.

like today, I needed the wallet w/ my Oyster (London smart travel) card and network railcard in it coz I am going to London tonite so last nite I placed it on top of my wallet. If I had left it in the drawer I would definitely had left it at home today.

for names, put post it notes in strategic locations eg on toilet door to be stared at when s(h)itting.

― Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:09 (nineteen years ago)

And it gets worse as you get older too!

― Tom D., Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:10 (nineteen years ago)

I have a cure for absent-mindedness. Now, if I could only remember where I left it, I could make mill...er, what were we talking about again?

― peteR, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:17 (nineteen years ago)

(ahthangyewverymuchI'mhereallweeketcetc)

― peteR, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:17 (nineteen years ago)

putting things in strategic locations

This is basically what I did for years. I'd leave things on the floor in front of the door so that I couldn't get out without stepping on them, I'd stick post-it notes on my travel card, important things inside my shoes. It works fairly well until your wife decides to tidy everything away then you stumble helplessly through your life like a blind dog when all the furntiure's been moved.

― Nasty, Brutish & Short, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:46 (nineteen years ago)

b-but surely once you have a wife, you no longer need to remember things for yourself!

― C J, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:51 (nineteen years ago)

I knew there was at least one good reason to get married

― Tom D., Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:52 (nineteen years ago)

I even forgot to go to my dad's wedding.

lolwtf

― onimo, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 09:53 (nineteen years ago)

you could trying smoking joints backwards?

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:13 (nineteen years ago)

oily fish

― blueski, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:16 (nineteen years ago)

My former boss actually gave me a bottle of gingko biloba pills becauyse she was so fed up with my short term memory issues. I can't remember if they worked or not (sadly true rather than for comic effect).

― Mark C, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:22 (nineteen years ago)

doubtful isn't it?

― Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:23 (nineteen years ago)

You have to train yourself not to be absent minded, if you are prone that way. I don't believe in these pills and things, they're a load of nonsense mostly.

Reminders are a very good idea - putting things near the door.

Also, paper diaries. Not computer ones, as you will invariably not be near your computer when you need to check something. Get a diary. Carry it with you everywhere, keep it permanently in your rucksack or manbag or whatever. Train yourself to check it every day - or more - or every time someone suggests you do something, get it out and look at it again. I have to write down when I'm getting paid and when bills are due in it, to remind myself to pay them, because otherwise they get lost in the Things To Do pile.

Memory is like a muscle that needs to be exercised.

Names and faces, though, argh - if anyone has a tip for that, please let me know. I'm convinced that half of my "unfriendliness" is due to just not recognising people even though I've met them multiple times. I've tried repeating their names just after I meet them, and that doesn't work. Five minutes later, the name is gone again.

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:29 (nineteen years ago)

work is much easier than socially when it comes to names and faces. Everyone here has their name on a nameplate next to their desk and besides that there's a "who's who" on teh intranet with everyone's name pic and tel no.

I say 'everyone', in point of fact they are not good at updating it and if there is no pic then the default pic appears, which is a black silhouette with little circular eyes and a smiley face.

― Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:32 (nineteen years ago)

That might not be a default pic. They might actually look like that.

― C J, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:34 (nineteen years ago)

I use the calendar in my mobile phone to set alarms to remind me to do things.

I'm useless with names as well, but I'm better with faces, i.e. I usually recognise people I've met before even if I have no idea what their name is.

― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:35 (nineteen years ago)

Argh, I hate those kind of work who's whos. I know they're a good idea, but I just hate them. The last time I had to do one, the picture was of the back of my head, floating above a cardigan while I gave my colleague the finger. I told them it was the most accurate view they were likely to find of me. (Also, I did the intranet website at that work, so it was my decision.)

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:36 (nineteen years ago)

My best friend in high school, I didn't remember her name for about six months - eventually I had to look it up on a seating chart.

Faces are just hard. I tend to remember people by what outfit they are wearing when I meet them, so god forbid they should turn up in different clothes! I would have no idea who they were!

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

I think w/r/t remembering names, the trick is supposed to be mentally attributing some slightly silly factoid or a piece of music to the person when you are introduced to them, i.e. if you meet a guy called Ben who has a thin face, you might think of the song about the rat called Ben. Then when you next meet him, it will trigger that musical memory again, and you should be able to recall his name quite easily. For instance.

― C J, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

i always end up whisting the Jilted John song whenever someone mentions somebody called Gordon.

― Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

.. which will be the Tories' "joke de jour" come the next election, if everything "runs to plans"

― Mark G, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

If the name is common I try associating that person with someone I know or a famous person or character with the same name. If there are different spellings of the name (Sarah/Sara, John/Jon, etc) I ask which they use. I try to break uncommon names into parts and rearrange to make words or names I know (I think of arsenal for Arselan, adobe for Odibo).

If you have important things to remember you might want to keep an online calendar which e-mails you reminders -- depending how often you check your e-mail. I have my library return slips thumbtacked by my CDs so that I don't forget, and I set up all my bills for automatic payment. No matter how much prep work I do though, I still misplace things all the time.

― Teenbeat, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 11:40 (nineteen years ago)

I keep a really small notepad in my purse or bag wherever I go (so not helpful if I leave carrying nothing, but that's rare) with things like grocery and to-do lists. I don't forget about it because it's become part of my daily routine to update it when I think of something and check it regularly (it's right there!). I also have a planner where I write homework and other major things I have to do over the course of a week or month, and try to allocate tasks to each day so I don't forget to do them.

Doesn't always work, though - I forgot to send a pretty important paper for two weeks, left it in another state, and just managed to take care of it yesterday and hope it's not too late. Also, forgot to send in some other paperwork until the day before it had to be received, and spent $15 on overnight postage. So my system sounds weird and obsessive, but it saves me from stupid shit like this more often than not.

― Maria, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 11:56 (nineteen years ago)

I use index cards for to-do lists. Folded in half, they don't get lost in my pocket like a regular paper note would.
I found gingko to just be a mild stimulant. It didn't help me remember, it just made me clean out my closets, which is always good, but not the idea.

I can hardly ever get in my car and drive away. I always have to double back for my cell phone, my checkbook, something. One famous time I forgot my checkbook, and made a three-point turn and went back home. I ran into the house, went to the bathroom and peed, and then ran back out to the car and drove off, still without my checkbook.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:08 (nineteen years ago)

I also drove into town once with a large bunch of bananas on the hood of my car, and didn't notice them until I parked and got out.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:10 (nineteen years ago)

And right now I'm kind of forgetting to go to work.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:29 (nineteen years ago)

there are cures yes

― ken c, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

i think

― ken c, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

Like dying.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:36 (nineteen years ago)

haha beth i do that kind of checkbook thing all the time. but the bananas are pretty special.

― Maria, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

My medicines wreak havoc with my memory.

Lists, lists, lists. If I'm thinking of something I need to do, I write it down. I don't care how important it is I will forget it. Ideas, thoughts, write them down. My pockets are usually stuffed with scraps of paper but I've taken to keeping a notebook with me lately which is far, far better.

What's most frustrating though is when I can't think of words. You know that feeling where a word is just out of your grasp, you know it, it's there, but you can't reach it. Always reminds me of the Simpsons. Homer: "You know that thing you use. . .to shovel food. . ." Marge: "A spoon?" Homer: "Yeah that's it!" :(

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

I once saw a lady put her handbag on the roof of her car, then (forgetting it was there), get into her car and drive off. Her bag flew off and landed in the road in front of me, so I stopped and picked it up for her. She'd driven off at such speed I couldn't see where she'd gone, so I drove straight to the local police station to hand it in. As I stood at the counter while the pleeceman filled in all the necessary paperwork, the woman came blustering in saying she'd lost her handbag. The pleeceman said "well you're in luck, this kind lady has just brought it in for you!". She turned to me and said "don't leave until I have it back", and I thought for a moment she was going to offer me some kind of reward (which I didn't want, and wouldn't have accepted) but then she yelled 'BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVEN'T STOLEN ANYTHING OUT OF IT".

Bloody ungrateful cow.

― C J, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

you should've flipped her off and left. srsly, why would you steal something and *then* take it to the police? what an idiot.

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:48 (nineteen years ago)

I was gobsmacked, I really was. Some people are so rude.

But back to the forgetfulness ..... I remember being a tiny child at school and our teacher telling us there was no excuse for forgetting things. She explained that we only remember the things we consider to be important to us i.e. if we remembered to came back to that very same classroom on the 1st of January ten years' hence she'd give us each a million pounds, we'd probably all remember to do it.

― C J, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:52 (nineteen years ago)

lists, post-it notes and association memory triggers, consciously thought of and repeated (the triggers don't always work as well as the lists and post-it notes, thus i tend to use a combination thereof)

― gem, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

but shurely that's a good reason *for* forgetting things?

― Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

If you are a professor, I think inventing Flubber helps.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 19:52 (nineteen years ago)

Lists work. Writing everything down. Whenever I open a bill, I enter its due date into my calendar BEFORE I place the bill in my "bill tray". Pneumonic devices work to a point. Concentration and focus as well.

I'm getting to that point where every once in awhile, I forget something really obvious, but not very important. Like my across-the-street neighbor's name. His name is Larry. His name is Larry. But one afternoon, I could not bring his name up from the well of my memory to save my life.

― Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 20:04 (nineteen years ago)

i will tell you what does not help absentmindedness

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 20:06 (nineteen years ago)

"Memento" to thread!

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

mentos to thread!

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 20:15 (nineteen years ago)

also exercise

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:33 (nineteen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/lixnixn/week2.jpg

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 22:42 (nineteen years ago)

Pneumonic devices work to a point.

And then when your lungs get tired you can switch to a mnemonic device.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:00 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Mnemonist-Little-about-Memory/dp/0674576225

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

Forgive my schoolmarmishness above, PP. In fact, I have only ever writen the word "mnemonic" and never used it in conversation, because in a pinch I'm never quite sure about its pronunciation. I just say "tricks" instead.

― Beth Parker, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:49 (nineteen years ago)

It's okay, Beth. Just got a little absent-minded with my spelling their for a second.

― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 01:57 (nineteen years ago)

just set up your life so you have no responsibilities and never have to do anything.

― emsk, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 07:26 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

So I left my apt this morning wearing my prescription sunglasses as I normally do. Got to work to discover I'd forgotten my normal glasses at home. Am now sitting at my desk wearing shades. LOOOL.

― ENBB, Monday, 10 August 2009 13:31 (sixteen years ago)

― °⌉ 3⊥∀N (╓abies), Monday, 10 August 2009 13:46 (sixteen years ago)

I'm not as amused by this as I was earlier. Ppl keep giving me funny looks. I must look retarded.

― ENBB, Monday, 10 August 2009 14:45 (sixteen years ago)

they probably think you are hungover or something :((((

― permanent response lopp (harbl), Monday, 10 August 2009 14:50 (sixteen years ago)

or a black eye from your previously presumed nice husband's fist :-(

― StanM, Monday, 10 August 2009 14:53 (sixteen years ago)

Put up a sign that says, "I walked into a door, okay? Gawd."

― Like most people my age, I am 33 (Laurel), Monday, 10 August 2009 14:53 (sixteen years ago)

LOL.

. . . Or have some weird infection or something.

Eh, I guess it still is kind of funny but the prescription is a little old and my head is starting to hurt from trying to read in them. Hmmmmm. Maybe a good excuse to leave a little early today.

― ENBB, Monday, 10 August 2009 14:54 (sixteen years ago)

No no, milk it! Older women will bring you chocolates tomorrow because of your black eye, poor thing :-(

― StanM, Monday, 10 August 2009 14:56 (sixteen years ago)

How's the headache? :-/

― StanM, Monday, 10 August 2009 18:43 (sixteen years ago)

Not so great! Am heading home now.

Btw one of my co-workers did think I was hiding a black eye. ha!

― ENBB, Monday, 10 August 2009 19:15 (sixteen years ago)

Hope it fades away quickly once you put on your regular glasses and you don't have to go to sleep with a headache (that sucks)

Tomorrow, put on a LOT of makeup around one eye, but not quite as much the other ;-)

― StanM, Monday, 10 August 2009 19:22 (sixteen years ago)

*around the other, obv

― StanM, Monday, 10 August 2009 19:23 (sixteen years ago)

two years pass...

jesus fucking christ i have been tramping around london all day - home to camden to dalston to victoria and back home - for various things, and all day i had an envelope i just needed to pop in a postbox, and i reminded myself at least 3 times while on various trains/tubes that i needed to do this, and did i manage to remember DID I FUCK. AAAARGHHHHHH FML FML FML FML

― first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Tuesday, 31 January 2012 16:05 (fourteen years ago)

May not have helped in your case, and it's not an infallible cure, but if I need to remember to do something I don't just say to myself "remember to do this!", I visualise the process - say I need buy something on the way home from work, I'll just imagine walking towards the shop and then going in when I get there. I do this a few times until something else takes my mind off it, then again whenever it pops into my head during the day. Then, come the actual moment you need to remember, just being in the right location helps trigger the memory.

― ledge, Tuesday, 31 January 2012 16:57 (fourteen years ago)

i'm actually gonna try that

― first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Tuesday, 31 January 2012 17:19 (fourteen years ago)

Yes, thats what I do ledge. Sadly, I have taken to making mental notes of where all the postboxes that I pass regularly are so that I can visualisation posting stuff. The thing is, if I have a lot on my mind, the chance that I'll remember to post a letter while out is pretty slim. It is so annoying.

― mmmm, Tuesday, 31 January 2012 17:49 (fourteen years ago)

I have to write stuff on my hand, and it has to be sort of difficult to read, so when I look at MB I wonder "what does that mean? mb??" and then I remember mailbox, oh yeah I have to get stamps to mail those orders, etc.

I wish there were a cure; I'm extremely absentminded.

― La Lechera, Tuesday, 31 January 2012 18:42 (fourteen years ago)

The visualization thing sounds interesting, maybe I should try that one too.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 1 February 2012 09:41 (fourteen years ago)

Though I'm not sure if it'd help me to remember to pay my bills in time, as for me there's no specific place or routine where to do that.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 1 February 2012 09:42 (fourteen years ago)

Thankfully, I never forget to pay a bill or attend an appointment or event.

I am alarmed and disturbed at how many times I lose my cell phone. I don't mean leaving it or dropping it outside somewhere - I mean, putting it down in the house and forgetting where I left it.

My dog is a genius ... why can't he use his sense of smell to help me find my phone. I think the battery is dead so I can't call it.

I remember lots of academic stuff (art and architecture), but it's amazing what I forget about music - I keep having to look stuff up I should know.

Another one that drives me nuts is forgetting to turn the car lights off. Or forgetting to turn the brights off (who needs the aggression from other drivers). So I just double and triple check, even if I'm in church or visiting someone.

― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Don Nots (Mount Cleaners) (Mount Cleaners), Wednesday, 1 February 2012 09:59 (fourteen years ago)

xp doesn't have to be specific, presumably you will be paying your bills at some place and time, not a noumenal atemporal void. just visualise the point where you would depart from your normal routine to pay them (walking to the bank after work? breaking out the laptop at home in front of the tv?)

― ledge, Thursday, 2 February 2012 13:54 (fourteen years ago)

FORTY-EIGHT goddamn hours later i have finally posted that fucking thing that was about a month overdue in the first place

― first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:04 (fourteen years ago)

Well if it's already a month late, what difference does 48 hours make? #aceprocrastinator

― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:06 (fourteen years ago)

absent-mindedness + laziness + procrastination is the crucial combination in the awesome success story that is my life.

― ledge, Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:09 (fourteen years ago)

Don't forget the apathy.

― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:10 (fourteen years ago)

absent-mindedness + laziness + procrastination is the crucial combination in the awesome success story that is my life.

feeling this

the worst thing is it's something that had to be posted IN ORDER FOR ME TO BE PAID and yet i still couldn't do it promptly

― first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:16 (fourteen years ago)

i'm really only good at things that are very routinized. i need to drop something in the mailbox once in a blue moon at best so i never remember to do it.

last year my gf asked me to mail her netflix dvd on my way to catch the bus to nyc. i carried it to the bus, on the bus, overnight in my bag, and mailed it the next evening from the fucking upper west side of manhattan.

― call all destroyer, Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:19 (fourteen years ago)

absent-mindedness + laziness + procrastination is the crucial combination in the awesome success story that is my life.

otfm

― wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:28 (fourteen years ago)

i think that in my case absent-mindedness is a form of avoidance? i dunno. i find myself 'forgetting' to do things i don't want to do, and i never forget to do fun stuff.

― "renegade" gnome (remy bean), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:34 (fourteen years ago)

I have totally forgotten to go to two fun gigs :/

― ledge, Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:36 (fourteen years ago)

I have a very (scary) good memory, and I rarely forget to take care of chores/maintenance, etc., or lose tabs on important data and information. What is puzzling to me is that a couple of times in my 20s I overdrew my bank account by >$1000, in incremental spending of about $20–$80, and felt surprised by that fact when the piper came a pipin'. It's impossible to me that I 'didn't know' that I was doing this – as somebody who's suffered a lot of financial woes (self-inflicted and otherwise) – it seems likely that I sort of split my brain to avoid knowing the truth.

― "renegade" gnome (remy bean), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:41 (fourteen years ago)

If it's not in my calendar (on my computer / phone), it doens't happen. Simple as that. I block out time to do stuff in, and set audio alerts to buzz me.

― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:53 (fourteen years ago)

As far as putting things down and forgetting where, I have set places; I simpyl don't let myself put my phone down if it's not in one of about four places; then I know where to look.

― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:54 (fourteen years ago)

^^^ there's two places where my watch is: on my desk right in front of me, or on my wrist.

― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:54 (fourteen years ago)

Do you never just put things somewhere different without realising? I normally put my phone, keys, wallet, into specific pockets, but then one time in 100 I will put one of them in a different pocket, for no reason, and then have a monetary panic attack when I think I've lost it.

― ledge, Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:56 (fourteen years ago)

i have set places too and i only ever put my keys down in that place and YET i still have to spend on avg 20 minutes looking for my keys before i can leave the house. genuinely no idea how this happens

― first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 2 February 2012 14:57 (fourteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

i tried ledge's visualisation technique and it TOTALLY WORKED, i remembered to reach into my bag for two letters as i passed a postbox

and then of course i discovered that i'd left them both on the kitchen table

*bangs head, kills something*

― lex pretend, Thursday, 23 February 2012 19:42 (fourteen years ago)

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