The mystery of the three seashells

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John Spartan: [whispering to Lenina] Look, I don't know if you guys know it, but uh... you're out of toilet paper.
Alfredo Garcia: [confused] Did... did you say toilet *paper*?
Lenina Huxley: Um... they used handfuls of wadded paper back in the 20th...
[Lenina, Alfredo, and Erwin all laugh]
John Spartan: I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where you're supposed to have the toilet paper, you've got this little shelf with three seashells on it.
Erwin: He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!
[Erwin continues to laugh, then calms down]
Erwin: I can see how that could be confusing.

― n/a, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 15:52 (eighteen years ago)

u&k!

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 15:53 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.worth1000.com/entries/188000/188040RWYv_w.jpg
http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/imalik/2006/03/07/demolition_man_2.jpg?maxWidth=500

― n/a, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 15:55 (eighteen years ago)

TB: It is an "advanced" version of a bidet. One to wash your backside, one to air dry and the third to apply a perfume or deodorizer so that the "perfect" society won't stink. The sea shells are cosmetic. In a "perfect" society, there can be no ugliness. The shells cover / hide the function of it. Quite a few people in the United States are not familiar with a bidet.

brad: the three sea shells are used as but fountain that are used to clean the rectum with water instead of toilet paper

Casey: I don't think that we would really want to find out what the 3 shells are used for in The Demolition Man. The answer could be scary....let's just leave it at that...a mystery.

Patrick: In regards to the question about the three shells in demolition man. The three shells were used instead of toilet paper.

stupid: The three shells in the movie "demolition man" are used for scooping shit out of ones ass. Each shell scoops different degrees of sh*t or different types of shit.

So in conclusion I'm going to assume that it has something to do with toilet paper. However, I'm probally wrong so assume what you wish.

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― Jordan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 15:55 (eighteen years ago)

worst Wu-Tang follow-up track ever

― dan m, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 15:57 (eighteen years ago)

The 3 seashells only became necessary after the franchise wars ("now all restaurants are Taco Bell").

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:01 (eighteen years ago)

I watched this movie and with a little help from our friend Tivo found Jack Black in a bit part. He was one of subterranean dude's henchmen.

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:02 (eighteen years ago)

I watched this movie... a few weeks ago with my mom...

That's what I meant to type.

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:02 (eighteen years ago)

The quote section for this movie is FULL of gems.

― n/a, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:02 (eighteen years ago)

John Spartan: You're gonna regret this the rest of your life... both seconds of it.

― n/a, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:03 (eighteen years ago)

I never realized until this topic was brought up that Sandra Bullock played "Lenina Huxley". There's just something a little wrong about that.

― dan m, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:04 (eighteen years ago)

Simon Phoenix: Look I don't need a history lesson! C'mon, HAL, where are the god damn guns?
Moral Statute Machine: You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.
Simon Phoenix: What? Fuck you!

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:04 (eighteen years ago)

I loved Wesley Snipes in this movie.

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:05 (eighteen years ago)

LeninaHuxley: I have, in fact, perused some newsreels in the Schwartzenegger Library, and the time that you took that car...
JohnSpartan: Hold it. The Schwartzenegger Library?
LeninaHuxley: Yes. The Schwartzenegger Presidential Library. Wasn't he an actor when you...
JohnSpartan: Stop! He was President?
LeninaHuxley: Yes! Even though he was not born in this country, his popularity at the time caused the 61st Amendment which states...
JohnSpartan: I don't wanna know. President.

― n/a, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:06 (eighteen years ago)

T.V. Reporter: [to John Spartan] How can you justify destroying a $7 million dollar mini mall to rescue a girl whose ransom was only $25,000 dollars?
Little Girl: FUCK YOU, LADY!
John Spartan: Ha! Good answer!

― dan m, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:06 (eighteen years ago)

Prescient

― n/a, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:06 (eighteen years ago)

Seriously, every one of those quotes is great.

― n/a, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:06 (eighteen years ago)

Boggle Guard: Mellow greetings. What seems to be your boggle?

:)

― Jordan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:08 (eighteen years ago)

Blow him AWAY.

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:11 (eighteen years ago)

The Schwartzenegger quote makes me feel oogy.

― kenan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:14 (eighteen years ago)

the only thing that really bugs me about this movie is that stallone stuns bullock with a baton right before heading into battle.. like, what? she could help you, dude

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:16 (eighteen years ago)

one for scraping, two for chop-stick style pulling, according to imdb, if memory serves. we watched this about a month ago on cable.

― Ai Lien, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:36 (eighteen years ago)

pulling? It's not a birth!

― kenan, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:38 (eighteen years ago)

― n/a, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:39 (eighteen years ago)

[after futuristic, contact-free "sex"]
John Spartan: Look, Huxley, why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
Lenina Huxley: [stands up, shocked] Eeewww, disgusting! You mean... fluid transfer?

― elmo argonaut, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:39 (eighteen years ago)

you can't blame her really

― Frogman Henry, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:48 (eighteen years ago)

OMG BELLAGIO I HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT DEMOLITION MAN AND THE THREE SEASHELLS ALL WEEKEND WHOAH

― river wolf, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 16:59 (eighteen years ago)

This was all sparked by a Dan M. comment on the Chicago thread.

― n/a, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 17:00 (eighteen years ago)

Ha this was my brother's favourite movie for about a month in '95. That scene in the car where they're all singing along to commercials just kills me. and RAT BURGER. and a whole bunch of other wtf scenes - like when he gets that "wrong number" videophone call from the naked chick.

― Roz, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 18:45 (eighteen years ago)

One thing I really liked back then that is probably the most cringe-inducing thing now: Dennis Leary's rant about steaks and cigars or whatever.

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 19:21 (eighteen years ago)

From the Wiki:

"...it was explained to me by the writer is you hold two seashells like chopsticks, pull gently and scrape what’s left with the third. ..."

– by Sylvester Stallone, on aint-it-cool.com (See No. 9)

― jon /via/ chi 2.0, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 19:26 (eighteen years ago)

What do writers know?

― n/a, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

So, is that really more sanitary than a piece of paper?

― dan m, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

Holy shit I gotta see this movie now.

― Trayce, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

No but if you hold it up to your ear you can hear the ocean.

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

God damn these xposts!

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

Let's see if you can do THAT Charmin.

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

xpost to myself

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:21 (eighteen years ago)

I like the bidet explanation better.

― elmo argonaut, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 21:22 (eighteen years ago)

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